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320The Last Dream »
The Dark Lord has built a new world where Draco's place is contingent upon him keeping his heart a secret. From afar he watches the only girl he ever loved as she builds a life with another. But it's all worth it if he can keep her safe. Sometimes the greatest type of love is also the most painful.Harry Potter, M, English, Drama & Romance, chapters: 20, words: 95k+, favs: 240, follows: 513, updated: 10/31/2019 published: 9/26/2017, [Draco M., Hermione G.] Harry P.
51
The Ferret »
It's debatable, but having an *actual* spirit animal is not shaping up so great for Draco. The more he tries to embark on a self-improvement journey, the more his inner ferret seems to call the shots. And it just can't seem to stay away from Hermione Granger.Harry Potter, M, English, Humor, chapters: 3, words: 13k+, favs: 124, follows: 95, updated: 4/22/2019 published: 4/20/2019, Hermione G., Draco M.
124 Trope Soup »
On the twenty third of September, the year of our Lord, two thousand and seventeen, MotherofBulls and SaintDionysus thought it would be a good idea to get drunk and write as many tropes possible into a single fic. Lord help us. I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH. WE WERE DRUNK WHILE WRITING THIS. Total crack fic!Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 12, words: 54k+, favs: 118, follows: 111, updated: 2/2/2019 published: 9/23/2017, [Draco M., Hermione G.]
47Say 'Merlin Help Me' to the Dress »
Concerned about his wife-to-be's mental health, Draco employs Blaise Zabini's assistance in helping Hermione choose the perfect wedding dress. With Albus Potter tagging alone for whatever reason, it's sure to be a boisterous, champagne-soaked experience with absolutely zero productivity. MISSING SCENES from AN INDEFINITE AMOUNT OF FOREVER and threequel to HOT FOR TEACHER!Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Adventure, chapters: 2, words: 3k+, favs: 66, follows: 127, updated: 1/10/2019 published: 12/21/2018
42 The Boundary
Draco has always wondered what it would be like to have Hermione Granger call him 'Professor' and submit to him. After a series of clandestine meetings around the castle with her, he finally finds the courage to suggest these fantasies become realities.Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, words: 4k+, favs: 306, follows: 74, 12/8/2018, [Draco M., Hermione G.]
170 YAAASSS QUEEN: Queer Eye Comes to Hogwarts »
The Fab Five face their greatest challenge yet: Rubeus Hagrid. He's got no closet, no bathroom, a bad recipe for rock cakes, a fifty-year-old moleskin coat, and an overgrown beard. Along the way, the Fab Five realize that Hogwarts itself seems to need their help just as much as Hagrid. YAAASSS QUEEN!Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 6, words: 10k+, favs: 147, follows: 104, updated: 8/7/2018 published: 7/19/2018, [Rubeus H., Olympe M.] [Hermione G., Draco M.]
12 Hogwarts v Hagrid: A Play in One Act
The Board of Governors retains an independent counsel to determine whether Hagrid truly is a menace to the student body of Hogwarts. Will Hagrid lose his job?Harry Potter, T, English, Humor, words: 2k+, favs: 8, follows: 1, 6/26/2018
490 An Indefinite Amount of Forever »
Sequel to "Hot for Teacher"! Draco and Hermione embark on the next adventure of their lives together. They swiftly find that falling in love might be simple, but relationships are tricky. Through their friendships, insecurities, and love for each other, they learn what it means to be someone's Forever.Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 18, words: 84k+, favs: 892, follows: 896, updated: 4/20/2018 published: 5/18/2017, [Hermione G., Draco M.] [Scorpius M., Rose W.]
67 The Worst Date Ever »
Hermione loses a bet to Draco and now has to let him take her on "the worst date in the history of the world." His words. Hermione is in for a night full of crappy pub food, a rented children's choir, and casual violence. But at some point in this rubbish heap of an evening, Hermione finds that there's more to Draco than she thought.Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 5, words: 9k+, favs: 260, follows: 60, 4/1/2018, [Draco M., Hermione G.]
18 Shut Up and Date Me
Sequel to "How the Granger Won Christmas"! Hermione's been gone for nearly two months since that fateful Christmas Eve night where she and Draco Malfoy discovered one another. And she's ready to come home. But will he be able to crack her prickly shell when he takes her out for Valentine's Day?Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, words: 4k+, favs: 205, follows: 45, 2/14/2018, [Draco M., Hermione G.]
38 State of Dress
Focusing at work is impossible when you're crazy about your coworker. Draco should probably learn to shut his door. Or maybe not?Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Humor, words: 4k+, favs: 473, follows: 88, 2/14/2018, [Hermione G., Draco M.]
102 The Year Neville Broke Bad »
SEQUEL to "BARMY" and "HIGH"! Neville Longbottom uses his skills in Herbology to reinvent himself as a bad ass; a new year, a new look, an all around new Neville. In an unfortunate turn of events after accidentally witnessing an intimate moment between Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, Neville's new experiment turns on its face. Will he break bad or break down?Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Adventure, chapters: 7, words: 30k+, favs: 267, follows: 136, updated: 12/31/2017 published: 8/15/2017, [Draco M., Hermione G.] [Hannah A., Neville L.]
42 How the Granger Won Christmas
My Advent contribution for the LightofEvolution Let Your Heart Be Light fest. When it comes to love, Hermione is a Grade-A Grinch. She sets standards most men simply cannot meet and gives them no quarter when they fail her. This holiday season, Harry and Ginny feel the need to intervene by setting her up with Draco Malfoy.Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, words: 7k+, favs: 360, follows: 75, 12/24/2017, [Draco M., Hermione G.] [Harry P., Ginny W.]
3 Albus, Meet Albus: A Play in One Act
Albus Potter is awesome. So much so, that MotherofBulls and SaintDionysus decided to cowrite a timeturner trope featuring him, that did not center around the main character going back in time to have sex with an old guy back when he was hot. SaintDionysus's "Confessions" Albus goes back in time to speak to MotherofBulls' "Hot for Teacher" Albus to bestow wisdom upon him. Meta.Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Adventure, words: 3k+, favs: 15, follows: 4, 7/19/2017, [OC, Albus S. P.] [Draco M., Hermione G.]
287 High »
He started out as an outlet for her. Somewhere along the way he became something more. But being the Brightest Witch of Her Age, she knows there's something lurking beneath the surface.Harry Potter, M, English, Angst & Romance, chapters: 32, words: 61k+, favs: 722, follows: 242, updated: 6/6/2017 published: 5/14/2017, [Hermione G., Draco M.]
34 Barmy
Narcissa wants to meet her, so Hermione and Draco go to Malfoy Manor for a simple, dignified dinner. But after Narcissa releases an uncharacteristic slip of the tongue, Hermione realizes that Draco has bigger plans for her beyond merely meeting his mother. Sequel to High!Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, words: 5k+, favs: 348, follows: 101, 6/6/2017, [Draco M., Hermione G.] [Harry P., Ginny W.]
516 Hot for Teacher »
Draco is a single dad trying to raise a teenager. Little does he know that his son has a crush on his own childhood nemisis who has taken up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. Draco tries to juggle parenthood, awkward situations, and his own budding interest in Hermione Granger. WINNER Best Comedy, Summer 2017 Enchanted Awards.Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 26, words: 64k+, favs: 1k+, follows: 509, 5/14/2017, [Hermione G., Draco M.] [Scorpius M., Rose W.]
