Sorry about the wait! Been having a crazy writers block! Hope you enjoy!

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There was a woman-her sheets were twisted around her rail-thin body, her skin was gray and shined with glittering sweat. Her auburn colored hair, damp and matted, spilled over the lumpy pillow and over the edge of the bed's skinny mattress. Her eyes rolled under her blue-veined lids, her fingers twitched and dried, yellow vomit stained her covers. A man bent over her, a wand in his hand, his face pulled into a worried frown. He gently grasped her hand and spoke quiet, soothing words to her ear.

She mumbled something unintelligible and pulled her hand from his. Her eyes flickered open; they were like deep emeralds at the bottoms of clear waters, shimmering from unshed tears.

"Lucy..." she said, her voice barely a whisper. "Lucy..."

She tried to rise her head, she tried raising herself up into a sitting position but it was a futile effort.

"Lucy..." she repeated her cracked voice somewhat stronger this time." Lucy..."

"Lucy? Lucy, are you in here?"

I jerked awake with a start. I sat upright, pulling the sticky strands of hair away from my cold face. My eyes felt swollen and puffy and my head ached a fit to burst. I looked around, feeling muddled, trying to figure out my surroundings and why I was lying on the floor of the shower room.

"Lucy! I see your foot! We've been looking—" Lily screamed when she rounded the corner of the stall. "What happened? Are you all right? You're all bloody!"

I raised a hand to my face and felt the flecks of dried blood. It all came back to me in a rush of memory and I took in a shuddering breath, trying not to cry again.

Lily face immediately softened when she saw the look that came over my face. "Stay there," she ordered. She disappeared for several long minutes than returned with my shower caddy, a change of clothes, and a towel.

Now I really wanted to cry. "God, Lily, you didn't have to do that."

"Yeah, I did. I'm pretty sure you don't want to walk around looking like a ghoul and terrifying the first years. Now get undressed and I won't look."

I went to pull my robe off and immediately winced as my side pulled painfully. Lily caught it and she stared me down like a cougar. "You better tell me what happened and you better tell me now."

I rubbed my face, feeling ashamed. "It's stupid."

"Stupid? Why? Did you do this to yourself?"

"No!" I exclaimed quickly. "No, it was these Slytherins. They cornered me and…and…" I covered my face with both hands, my shoulders shuddering with silent sobs.

Lily said nothing and I couldn't see her reaction. When I finally composed myself, I peeked at her from between my fingers to see her pacing the shower room like a restless tiger, her eyes blazing like green fire.

"Those pricks!" she spouted in rage. "Those-those—" and the next several words that left her lips were something I'd only heard an inebriated sailor say. When she was finished, she whirled on me and saw my shocked expression. Her shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry. I've had a long day. And I can't believe those snakes had the nerve to attack a student in the middle of the day! We have to tell Professor Dumbledore."

"No!" I shouted instantly and then felt myself blush.

Lily gave me a weird look, "Why?"

I shrugged, "I dunno. It's just; I don't want to be a target. If they find out I told…" I struggled not to cry again. "It's just a lot lately, you know? Between you wanting to be friends and Lupin continuously trying to talk to me and I'm just not used to all this and it feels like that if I maybe hadn't let any of that happen, those Slytherins never would've bothered me in the first place."

Lily looked at me, her face scrunched as she studied me in a scrutinizing sort of way. She put her hand on her hip, "Lucy, those Slytherins targeted you because you were a Gryffindor and not a pure blood. Not because you have 'friends'. That's just daft thinking, I mean, who hurt you?"

"What? No, no one 'hurt' me. I've just been alone all this time and then all of a sudden all this stuff is happening."

"I suppose I can sort of see what you're coming from. But you better stop thinking that way or you'll die an old spinster."

A small laugh bubbled up through my tears.

"And second, I think Lupin might have a crush on you."

I was horrified. "No way! I mean, why now? We've been in the same classes since second year!"

"Well, you didn't really have boobs last year."

My eyes bulged.

"I'm just kidding!" Lily laughed. "Guys sometimes take longer to realize the brilliance before them. They're not very smart. At least Lupin's after your tail and not Potter. Merlin, that boy's a man whore. At least Lupin has a bit of tact. But if he keeps bothering you and you don't like it, I'll beat him up."

"I don't doubt you."

"Now take a shower, I'm starting to get nauseas looking at you."

After I had cleaned up, Lily took me up to the Hospital Wing, where Pomphrey fixed my nose, determined my side was only bruised, and gave me a pain potion before sending me on my way, no questions asked. When we got back to the common room, I insisted she go on up to bed without me.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine," I said quickly. "I just want to process some stuff by the fire."

"Well, okay. See you tomorrow."

I waited until she had disappeared up the staircase before I huddled up close to the fire, staring at the orange flames and enjoying the calming warmth it emitted. Lily was the first person I had ever opened up to before and it was scary but good. She tried to convince me to go up to the Headmaster's office first thing in the morning but I still wasn't sure. I hated confrontation and creating problems. I'd rather just let things slide and go back to my solitude but it didn't look as though Lily was going to let me.

By the time I headed up to the girl's dormitory, all the other girls were already asleep. I had to feel around in the dark for my pajamas and once I had burrowed under my covers, I found that I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned and wrestled with my covers. First I was too hot and I kicked off them off, laying eagle spread until suddenly I was too cold and had to burrow under the blankets once more. I tried counting sheep, wiping my mind clean like a chalk board, and counting to a hundred. I got to a hundred and eighty-three before deciding that that wasn't helping. Nothing worked. I kept thinking about Lily and Remus and how forward they had been with me and that horrible encounter with the Slytherins.

My mind flashed with the images of those chaotic, terrifying minutes.

What was I going to do about that? I didn't know. Confrontation had never been my forte though Lily had ensured me that she would talk to the girls and guys about creating a body guard for me if the need should arise. I thought that was a little ridiculous. Then she said she would go up to Dumbledore's office and support me. My stomach clenched at that thought and I had to kick off my blankets as another hot flash swept over me.

She seemed sincere enough. But what would really come of it? Detention for those idiots? Make them angrier with me? It just didn't seem like a good idea.

It wasn't until the sky had turned gray through the slit in my bed curtains that I fell asleep. An hour later my alarm blared and I wished I could scream with it.

"What is that?" Clover boomed from behind her bed curtains.

"It's Saturday!" Cried someone else.

I slapped my alarm and fell back against my pillows. It's Saturday?! Had I really lost track of the days already? Not that I was complaining. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive a day of classes. Relief made me feel as light as a cloud when I realized I didn't have to get up and get ready for a day of classes. I pulled the covers up to my chin and stared at my deep red canopy, willing myself to fall back to sleep. As exhausted as I felt though, I couldn't make myself fall back asleep. Finally giving up, I quietly threw back the covers and dressed into a pair of leggings and an oversized sweater. I braided my hair to one side and packed a couple of books into my sack and made my way down to breakfast.

I nibbled on a piece of toast and drank a strong cup of tea. I could tell it was still exceptionally early just due to the emptiness of the great hall. Professor McGonagall was the only teacher at the Head Table. I skimmed half-heartedly through a novel I pulled from my bag but couldn't really get into the stale plot. I closed the book and looked around at the few people in the Hall, reaching for another piece of toast. My eyes lingered on the Slytherin table but the only people I saw were a couple of blond fifth years chatting over their books. I swallowed hard, wiping my suddenly sweaty palms on my leggings as I thought about last night. I thanked Merlin that they weren't sitting at the table. I withdrew my gaze and glanced towards the entrance. I saw James Potter, sweaty and dirty, enter the great hall looking wind swept and flushed. He looked around the Great Hall once and met my eyes. With a quick smile, he approached me.

"Lucy, right?"

As he slid in across from me, I suppressed the urge to grimace at the grimy sight of him. I nodded, pulling my book closer to my plate to allow him more room on his side.

"Sorry," he said. "I'm terrible with names." He grabbed a clean plate and started piling on all the food he could reach. I prepared myself to perform the Heimlich as I watched him shovel in food like there was no tomorrow, barely allowing room to breathe between mouthfuls. "Just got out of Quidditch practice," he said around chewing.

"This early?" I asked, clenching my fists under the table in an effort to keep my sudden anxiety at bay. I never imagined the day James Potter would eat breakfast with me. I was suddenly hyperaware of the stares we were receiving as more students came in for breakfast. Potter didn't seem to mind though, or even notice.

"Yeah," he answered, grabbing himself another slice of toast. "We're getting geared up for a new season. Try outs will be in a few weeks. You play?"

"No."

"Huh. Too bad. We got several empty spots to fill."

I took a sip of my tea and suppressed a smile at the thought of me playing Quidditch. I didn't mind sports, per say, though I tended to be a bit on the uncoordinated side, but I was terrified heights. Well not of heights, but of falling from them. I could just picture getting myself nailed with a bludger and plummeting to my death.

"I hate heights," I heard myself say without really thinking.

Potter glanced up at me, wiping his mouth with his thumb. Than he smiled and gave a laugh, "It's not that bad," he said. "And if you did fall, more than likely, a teacher will slow your fall. You wouldn't die, at least."

"At least," I echoed. "Though a tremendous amount of pain would still be involved, at least I wouldn't die."

Potter laughed and then gave a hacking cough as he inhaled some of the food in his mouth. He cleared his throat and jabbed his fork at me. "You're funny. Remus didn't tell us that."

I blinked and looked at him intensely, my heart suddenly pounding. "Lupin talks about me?" I asked him, feeling rather flabbergasted.

Potter shrugged in a noncommittal sort of way, finally clearing his plate and pouring himself a cup of steaming tea. I watched him add several heaping spoonfuls of sugar. "A couple times, I guess."

"I don't see why he would." I said, trying to keep my tone nonchalant.

"Hmph," he grunted, glancing up at me then down at his food before doing a double take and looking back up at me. "What happened to your face?" he demanded, squinting his eyes behind his glasses.

My hand flew for my cheek where the telltale signs of the left over bruise colored my cheek. The skin was tender under my fingertips. "I fell."

"On your face?" he questioned in disbelief.

"I'm rather clumsy," I laughed nervously, fidgeting with my braid and wishing he'd stop staring at me. His gaze lingered for several long seconds as if he was trying to decide if he wanted to believe me or not then he shrugged and glanced to the side when he suddenly perked up ."Hey!" he shouted across the hall, making me jump in surprise, and I half turned to see an equally dirty Sirius Black striding towards us. He slid in next to me, offered me a 'Morning', and began shoveling forkfuls of scrambled eggs into his mouth. Potter grabbed a couple pieces of bacon.

"All right, Pond?" Black asked after he gulped down half a glass of milk.

"All right," I answered slowly, watching the two boys eat more food than I could consume in one day. I fidgeted in my seat, glancing up and around, my face red as I felt the curious stares of my fellow classmates. Black was so close next to me, I could smell his musky boy scent and feel the heat his body was giving off after a good work out.

"Isn't there showers in the changing rooms?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

As discreetly as I could, I eased myself over a few inches from his side, "No reason."

"Wicked practice today, eh?" Black commented airily, ignoring my weird comment.

"Did you see that fourth year that showed up?" Potter asked.

"You mean the one that flew he'd never seen a broomstick before?"

They both snickered. "I hope to Merlin that better prospects show up Tuesday," said Potter. "Or we're going to suck ass without Weasley, Boerbel and Fallner."

Black nudged me with his elbow. "You play, Pond? You got the build of a seeker."

Thanks for telling me that I have no figure. "No."

"Your loss."

Not really.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go send off a letter," I said abruptly, standing to my feet and stuffing my book into my shoulder bag.

Black said, "We're going flying this afternoon, you wanna join?"

"She's scared of heights," Potter answered for me with a subtly nasty smirk and I turned bright red.

Black shrugged with a derisive snort and returned to his plate, sparing me no second glance.

I hurried from the Great Hall, my insides clenching as I felt the stares of other students. I didn't really have to send a letter, but I headed up to the owlery anyway, seeking solitude and hoping it would be empty this early in the morning. I was hoping to see my owl, Storm, who was a small dark grey owl with many white freckles. I enjoyed sitting with her and stroking her soft feathers.

I arrived out of breath after descending the many stairs. I looked around for my little owl but didn't see her right off the bat. I went deeper into the owlery, wrinkling my nose at the smell of animal and owl poop.

"Storm?" I called, letting out a low whistle.

A large barn owl hooted back at me from the corner, looking cross that I interrupted his nap. He glared at me with yellow eyes and I turned away from animal, eyes searching. Deciding to wait a few minutes, I went over to the window to look out over Hogwart's grounds. The morning sun shone brightly and its reflection glittered yellow across the rippling waters of the lake. Birds flitted about, twittering their morning songs. I reached a hand towards a ray of sunshine streaming through the window, letting the warmth tickle my fingers.

I waited for several more minutes for Storm to appear. When she didn't, I readjusted my bag and headed back out of the owlery. I half-jogged down the many stone steps, deciding to head back to my dorm for a lazy day. As I neared the last few steps, a voice called to me:

"All right, Lucy?"

I looked up to see Lupin, hands in his pockets, walking towards me, a smile on his stupid face. I wasn't paying attention to where I was stepping and my foot suddenly skidded on some loose rock and I flailed momentarily before falling backwards and sliding down the last couple steps, landing hard on my bum.

"Whoa!" Lupin hurried towards me. "You all right? You hurt?"

"Just my pride," I muttered as he helped me to my feet. I brushed off my pants, my face and neck; I was sure, a flaming red.

"I always seem to catch you off guard, eh?" he joked, and then his face grew suddenly concerned. "What happened to your face?"

"I fell," I lied.

"On your face?" he eyed me.

"Yeah," I tucked some loose hair behind my ear. "As you just saw, I'm pretty clumsy."

I could tell he didn't exactly believe me but was gracious enough to not retort. He scratched his forehead and scraped the toe of his sneaker across the stone. "It's nice to see you here," he said, almost shyly.

"Me too. Er, you too…" I laughed nervously. "I'm sorry; I never really know what to say to that."

Lupin smiled, his eyes crinkling in humor. "You just send a letter?"

"No," I said, adjusting my bag. "Went to visit my owl. She wasn't there though…"

"Probably out hunting."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

We stood in there in awkward silence. I looked up at some birds fluttering above us and Lupin kicked at some loose dirt. My usual anger I had been feeling when he was around was absent leaving me feeling a bit hollow. What was I supposed to feel now? Sure Lupin had been somewhat nosy but other than that he had been nothing but kind to me. I was still unsure. I glanced at him and noticed he was staring out at the lake. He had a rather nice profile and with the sun shining on his face, I noticed a thin, white scar running from his bottom eyelid to his top his lip. It was highlighted by the day. I hadn't noticed it before in the dim lighting inside the castle. I wondered how he got it. He must have felt my gaze for he turned and smiled at me.

"Would you like to walk with me?"

Walk? Walk where? Why would Lupin want to walk anywhere with me? I thought about the comfy bed that was waiting for me in Gryffindor Tower. Lupin stared at me, waiting for an answer.

"Um," I hesitated. "Okay."

We walked towards the lake at a slow pace, an arms distance apart. It was silent between us and a little awkward. The breeze was sweet and warm—definitely an Indian summer. The last of the summer flowers were falling from the trees and drifting lazily in the wind. Some of the leafs were already turning golden and red. When I tilted my chin towards the sun, I saw that the sky was a deep, deep blue without even the faintest wisp of a cloud. Despite the obviously gorgeous day, I felt jittery and wondered if I should've just headed back to the dorm instead accepting the marauder's invitation. What did he want from me? Wish I knew. The silence was bit unnerving and I routed around in my head for something—anything—to say. Lupin beat me to it.

"It's a nice day. Too bad it won't last." He remarked nonchalantly, pulling some leafs of a passing bush and slowly picked them apart.

I shrugged, kicking aside a rock. "I dunno," I said. I sure had a way with words.

"These times are always my favorite…you know that little bit of time between seasons when everything starts to change."

I've never heard that before. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, thinking about how odd that sounded. "Why?"

Lupin sighed. "Well, I dunno. It makes me think that maybe things don't have to stay the same."

"Do you not like the ways things are right now?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Not everything."

I didn't answer, wondering if every conversation we were going to have was going to be this deep. Or maybe Lupin was just one of those people that have to pull out these deep, wisdom-laden thoughts at the drop of the hat. It was disconcerting.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly when he correctly interpreted my uncomfortable silence.

I said nothing.

"Well, we must enjoy this day while it lasts." He declared as we reached the lake, beginning to remove his socks and shoes and roll up his jeans.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to put my feet in the water. Might be my last chance."

"Why?"

"Why not?" he countered. "You can join if you want."

I stared as he tucked his socks into his sneakers and made his way down the sandy shore line to the lapping waves. I watched a minute, feeling indecisive. Why was Lupin wanting to hang out with me? Surely he had plenty of gorgeous and popular girls to pick from instead of me. I watched semi-curiously as he waded in and turned to face me. He was so odd.

"You coming?"

Then again, so was I. I drew in a deep breath before pulling off my flats and tugging up my leggings and tossing aside my bag. I was expecting a chill to spike up my legs but the water was surprisingly lukewarm when it tickled my toes.

"Swimming's the best," Lupin told me as he waded up to his knees. "Come on."

"I'm fine right here." I answered.

"You scared?" he teased.

"No," I said testily. "I don't really know how to swim."

Lupin straightened from where he was trailing his fingers along the water's surface. "You don't know how to swim? Didn't your parents teach you?"

I looked down, clenching my teeth. "No."

"Come on," he gestured. "It's only up to your knees and it's just a lake. The ocean's the only place you can get swept away in a current." He laughed at his own joke.

"That's not funny," I said sourly but stepped through the water to join him anyway. I looked around and flexed my fingers anxiously. "People are staring at us."

"So? Why are you so worried about what other people see?"

We were facing each other now, droplets of water glittered on his face. His amber eyes studied me searchingly. He raised his hand, still dripping from water and gently touched my bruised cheek. I involuntarily shivered.

"What happened?"

"As I said before, I'm pretty clumsy."

"You're also a pretty bad liar."

I instantly tensed up and pushed his hand away from my face. "And you're pretty obnoxious."

"Maybe," Lupin shrugged, scooping up a handful of water and letting it slip through his fingers. "But at least I'm not a liar."

I gritted my teeth, inwardly appalled by his bluntness. "You know what? I'm done here." I pushed past him, making sure to hit him hard in the shoulder.

"Lucy, wait—" Lupin grabbed my arm and I whirled around. My inner lion reared within me and I shoved him as hard as I could. He stumbled backwards, lost his balance in the muck and fell back into the water. His shocked face would've been comical hadn't it had been for the tension. I gaped for a moment, surprised and appalled. I spoke quickly before I could lose my nerve.

"You have no idea who I am!" I jabbed my finger at him, trembling my head to toe. A group of students near us on the shore were openly staring. I didn't care. "Don't you ever pretend to know me!" I sloshed through the water, quivering in my rage.

"Lucy!"

I spun to see Lupin still sitting in the water. "Stay away from me!" I gathered up my belongings and stomped up to the castle, fumbling with my shoes as I went. Numbly, I made my way up to my dorm, ignoring the stares and whispers. I inwardly thanked Merlin that the dorm was empty and I fell into bed and yanked around my curtains, sealing myself in my private tomb. I grabbed my stuffed bear that I kept under my pillow and sobbed into his furry body. When I came up for air, a surge of anger flooded through me and, with a ferocious throw, I catapulted poor teddy through my curtains and across the room, where he landed on a mound of dirty clothes.

Sitting up, still trembling and sniffling, I grabbed my pillow and hugged it close, wiping my tears on the pillowcase.

"He doesn't care about me. He never has. It's all a big lie, and I believed it," I told my soggy pillow. "He thinks he knows all."

But why was I so upset? "Okay," I coached myself calmly, "figure this out. You can do it. Come on. It's going to be okay. It's going to work out. It always does."

A wild burst of anguish pushed its way out of my throat, and I quickly pressed my mouth into the pillow and sobbed. When the tremor passed, I decided not to think about it anymore, blaming my wild emotions on hormones and nothing else.

I burrowed under my covers, occasionally sniffling until I finally dropped off to sleep.

I was jolted awake by someone bouncing on my bed. Sunlight hit my eyes and I squinted by the overwhelming brightness. "What the hell—" I groaned.

Clover came into view, her brown hair in a high pony tail. "Is it true?" she asked, her eyes excited.

"Is what true?" I asked groggily, sitting up with a grouchy glare on my face.

"Did you really push Remus Lupin into the Lake?" Lily asked from around Clover.

I was instantly alert. "Wait, what?"

"The whole school is talking about it," said Clover. "What'd he do?"

"Oh, Merlin," I dropped my face into my hands. "Are you serious?"

Clover let out a squeal of laughter. "So you did! Holy shit! You will go down, on this day, as the girl who nearly drowned a marauder."

"Whoa, hold up," I held out a hand to hold back her craziness. "First off, we were in only knee deep water. And second off, he's an insufferable know-it-all and completely deserved it."

Lily wrinkled her face, "wait, you and Lupin were already in the water when it happened?"

I pressed my lips into a thin stubborn line, "We were only talking."

"In the water?"

"Gross," said Clover. "You know there are…things…that live in that lake?"

"Clover, shut it," Lily snapped her fingers at her. "Have you been crying? Your eyes are all swollen."

I dropped my head back in frustration, "I don't know why."

"Did he hurt you?" she demanded, puffing up like she was ready to enter a gladiator battle.

"No, Lily. I don't why. He just frustrates and annoys me. I don't know why I got so emotional. I usually can rein it in." I confessed.

"Probably because you're confused as to what your feelings are for him," Marlene finally interjected from her spot at the end of my bed. "Boys are like that—they jerk you back and forth because they're too stupid to know what they really want. I dated this guy last year who gave me flowers one week and then the next week made fun of the dress I was wearing in front of the whole Gryffindor common room."

"Jerk," Clover said, with a haughty look on her face. "He didn't deserve you."

"That's beside the point. The point is that guys never make sense. They're sweet one moment and then the next are complete asses."

"It's not that he's being mean," I explained, drawing my knees up to my chest. "He just comes across so pushy and kind of weird. What the heck does he want with me?"

The other girls laughed at me and I blushed self-consciously.

"I think I know…" Clover wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Remus isn't like that," Lily defended him. "Though I do think he likes you."

"You guys are completely batty," I said. "Lupin does not like me."

"Whatever," Lily said with a helpless shrug. "I have to run to the Owlery. I'm expecting a letter."

Clover decided to give herself a pedicure and Marlene claimed she had a ton of homework she needed to work on. Deciding to treat myself, I took a scented bubble bath and then put on some comfortable sweats and a hoodie and headed back to bed. I listened to the girls' idle chatter as I sat on my bed and half-heartedly read some text about Goblin Wars. When I got bored, I tossed the book aside and pulled out my journal and wrote some of my thoughts down on paper, hoping I could make sense of some of my musings. Maybe if I could write everything out, take a look at all the events of the past days on paper, they might make sense—or at least stop spinning around in my head. But, when I stopped to reread it, nothing became suddenly clear.

Lily came back from the owlery after about twenty minutes of me journaling, looking grumpy and carrying a letter. I wondered if Potter had been bothering her again. She ripped open her letter and dropped onto her bed.

Over the top of my journal, I could see Lily's sullen expression lifting. She flipped to the second page of the letter, and a definite smile began to tug the corners of her lips, which now moved silently as she scanned the letter.

I noticed how thin my friend's lips were. Lily was beautiful, no question there. Students would often turn and stare at her. I had grown accustomed to that after hanging out with her these past few times, realizing and coming to terms that I was destined to go unnoticed in the shadow of Lily's beauty.

However, I knew one thing: I had perfect lips. And now I realized for the first time that Lily did not. I had my mother's lips. Perfectly proportioned on top and bottom. And when I drew them back in a smile, my teeth fit in a neat row besides the tiny gap between my two front teeth, and a dimple appeared. It comforted me to discover that I had better lips than Lily on the risk of sounding vain.

"I can't believe this!" Lily half shouted, shaking the letter in the air and looking wildly at me. "This is perfect." She jumped from her bed and burst through the doorway, hair flying, and disappeared barefoot down the stairs.

"What?" I said, looking around blankly at Clover who was looking as confused as I was.

"Maybe she won the lottery." She suggested as she returned to painting her nails a garish orange.

"What's the lottery?" Marlene asked.

"A game muggles play to win a lot of money." I answered, shutting my journal and stuffing it under my pillow. "So, are you guys really going to Hogsmeade with the marauders next week?"

"I am," Clover answered without hesitating. "Black's ass is making me."

"That's so gross, Clover," Marlene made a face.

"I'm only speaking fact. Sirius Black's ass deserves its own front page to Witch Weekly." The brown haired girl screwed the cap on her polish and set it on her night stand. She admired her toes as the polished orange started to glitter like it was filled with miniscule stars. "What about you, Lucy? Wouldn't you want to go on a romantic date with Lupin?"

My heart skipped a beat and I rolled my eyes as I slipped on a pair of wool socks. "There is nothing romantic between Lupin and me. He's not interested," I paused then continued. "I'm not interested."

"You're a horrible liar." Marlene interjected. "Despite what happened earlier, have you seen the way he looks at you?"

"He treats me like a charity case and he acts like he knows everything there is to know," I said with a sigh as I pulled on some wool socks over my chilled feet. "There is nothing romantic between us. Besides, what would a popular boy want anything to do with me—" I suddenly realized how whiny and pathetic I sounded.

Clover straightened so fast I thought she was going to shoot through the roof. "Are you kidding me, Lucy Pond! You're gorgeous! Have you seen your eyes lately? They're so mysterious."

"Mysterious?" I asked, giving Clover a weird face.

"Well…you know what I mean!" She threw her pillow at me and I ducked quickly.

"She's right, though." Marlene said. "I know you had that accident and everything but the whole pale hair, pale skin thing you got going on makes you almost look like a fairy or something other worldly."

"So…you're saying I look like an alien?"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "You're so dumb."

"I think," Clover began. "That if you had on a little eye liner, mascara, and some dark red lip stain, you'd looked enchanting. You would have the Hogwart's boys begging for just a bit of your attention."

"You guys are barmy!" I exclaimed, my face a flaming red. "Red lipstick? Really? I'd look like a clown! And what happened to boys being jerks?"

"Not all of them. And if you wear the lipstick right, you won't look like a clown! And I said dark red, not bright red. Tell you what, this next weekend, when we go to Hogsmeade…"

"If we go…" I corrected.

"Whatever! If you go, we'll do some clothes shopping and put a little bit of make up on you and Lupin won't be able to take his eyes off you."

I let out a wild growl and pulled at my hair in frustration. "I don't want Lupin's eyes on me at all!"

There was a brief silence before Clover suddenly gave a wild gasp, crawled quickly across her bed and clutched at her bedframe like she was reenacting the scene from Titanic. "Lucy, are you a lesbian?" she asked in a harsh whisper, her marble eyes wide.

I looked at her aghast. "What? No!" I exclaimed, throwing my pillow at her face. "I just don't think that me and Lupin are the right fit, I guess."

Clover sank back to her bed, looking disappointed. Marlene, however, looked contemplative.

"Maybe it's not the fact that you think you guys aren't the right fit," she started, waving her quill in the air as though she was giving a monumental speech. "I think it's because you think you're not good enough for him."

"Well, it's just that he's popular and I'm, well, me," I flushed bright red as I said this.

"Okay, that's it!" Clover clapped her hands and stood up. "Enough with this self-pity talk. It's time for a make-over."

"What?" I gasped, scandalized at the idea. I looked at Marlene to back me up. She shrugged.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. There's no stopping her when she gears up like this. And besides, maybe a little make-over could boost your obvious lack of self-confidence."

"Are you ready for this?" Clover asked as she rummaged through her trunk and starting bringing out hair stuff, make-up, and various clothes, "I heard the boys talking about throwing together a welcome back party tonight. I wasn't really sure I was going but now I see that we have to. You are in desperate need of socialization."

"Merlin, help me." I had never attended any of the Gryffindor parties before though I knew they tended to get wild at times. Me and wild never really fit into the same sentence. I swallowed hard and faked a weak laugh. I had never worn a pinch of makeup. Why would I start now? And for Remus of all people. It was a ridiculous thought. "Thanks, but I don't think so. I'm not much of a party person. I've never even been to one before."

Clover sighed and scrutinized my face and kept pushing. "A tiny bit of mascara. That's all I suggest. I'm just trying to help. And going to a party is a great way to make new friends." She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

"Well, how can I resist that?" I said sarcastically.

"Oh, please, Lucy! It'll be so much fun!"

"Okay," I gave in with a defeated sigh. "But don't go crazy."

Clover's grin was full on crazy as she patted the spot in front of her on her bed, looking expectant. After a staring contest, I finally gave in and begrudgingly climbed into her bed. I squeezed my eyes shut as she pulled lose my pony tail and began running her brush through my hair.

For the next couple hours, I was Clover's personal doll and Lily even joined in when she returned from whatever she was doing, a grin on her face. She filed, buffed, and painted my finger nails as she told us about the letter her parents had sent her. Apparently, they had decided to rent a beach house this coming summer and said that Lily could have some friends stay for a week or two if she wanted. She promptly invited the three of us. I, of course, said 'yes', admitting that my birthday was only a couple days after term let out. I was intrigued at the prospect of perhaps celebrating it. My father had long since checked out of my life and I hadn't had a birthday party since I was eleven.

Lily marveled at the possibilities, yanking a little too hard as she plucked my eyebrows, causing me to squeal and clapped my hands over my face in pain.

"Sorry," she said, pulling away my hands.

Clover lent me a plaid skirt to wear, since we were about the same height and Lily gave me a deep blue, loose fit, scooped-neck sweater that hung off one shoulder.

"Do you have a strapless bra?" she asked me.

"Ew, no," I answered. "Why would I need one of those?"

"Lucy, are you six or sixteen?" Lily asked in a condescending tone. "What's your size?"

"Er…32B or C, I guess. Depends."

"I'm a 32A," Clover looked down at her chest with pout. "They're so little."

Lily rolled her eyes. "And I'm a 34C, so I'm out."

"Guys, not necessary," I tried to interject.

"Marlene?" Lily ignored me. "What size are you?"

"Same as Lucy," She said, already rummaging through her things. "I got like 5 strapless bras. They're totally life savers."

"What if it falls off?" I demanded as she threw me a nude colored one, with a little pink bow in the center. The bra smacked me in the face before I fumbled with it.

"It won't." Marlene said. "I got that from a Magical Undergarment Shop. Guaranteed to never budge." She flashed me a bright smile.

All three of the girls turned their backs so I could undress and wiggle into the clothes. "Guys, I don't know about this. This skirt is so short! I feel like a bloody prostitute. Merlin forbid, if I sneeze! Can't I just wear leggings or something?"

"You look perfect!" Clover gushed after spinning around. "And you do not look like a prostitute. I mean, look at yourself in the mirror."

I hesitated than slunk to the antique beveled mirror, studying my reflection in shock.

My hair was pulled back into a loose, French braid fastened at the end with a large wooden clip. Loose pieces of hair curled gently about my face. I wore no earrings, which made me feel naked.

"Innocence with a punch of attitude," Clover said, edging her way in front of me and twirling her mascara wand over my upper lashes.

"You're going to poke me in the eye."

"No, I'm not. Relax. I know what I'm doing."

I looked at my face without making a comment. My eyes did look larger. They even held a tinge of blue and my lips were stained a daring, dark red that complimented my skin rather than made me look like a clown. But the freckles sprinkled across my nose made me look more girlish than sophisticated. Still, I looked older than sixteen. At least, I thought I did.

I had never really thought of myself as pretty but looking in the mirror as this strange girl with milky skin and glittering eyes, the only word that came to my mind was pretty.

"Well? What do you think?"

"Are you sure I don't look silly?" I asked uncomfortably, smoothing the short skirt as I made sure my bum was fully covered.

"You have no idea how attractive you are," Lily said. "And it's not like the boring kind of pretty. It's like a unique pretty that sets you apart from everyone else."

I swallowed hard, sure they were lying and turned away from the mirror. "So, what are you guys going to wear?"

"Oh shit!" Clover shrieked. "Party starts in an hour!"

Lily and Clover rushed to get ready though Marlene had the good sense to shower and change while the other two girls 'made me over'. She looked gorgeous in a ruby red tunic top paired with black leggings and long dangly earrings. She had gathered up all her black curls on top of her head and let tiny curls fall free.

Lily wore a cute mint green dress with a peter pan collar. She had pinned a flower behind one ear and slipped on sparkly flats. Clover went more daring in a mini skirt and midnight purple sleeveless blouse with a flow-y hem.

I sat on the bed the entire time, fidgeting with my skirt and debating on whether or not to back out. Lily must had seen it in my eyes because she grabbed my hand and dragged me to my feet. She looked me in the eye as she grasped my shoulders, "This, Lucy, is going to be fun. I swear. And I can't wait to see Lupin's face when he sets eyes on you."

"His eyes better be on my face and not on my bare bum when my skirt flies up when I sneeze." I muttered. Lily gave me a little pinch on my arm. "Hey!"

"Grow up," she hissed at me as we headed towards the stairs.

When I began the descent down the staircase, I was suddenly grateful that I didn't let Clover talk me into wear heels for I was shaking so bad I probably would have fallen down the stairs and then it would have been a whole new entrance. I was sure I was going to faint. I gripped the banister, my knees knocking and my heart pounding in my throat. The other girls didn't seem to notice though.

It was rather anti-climactic though. There definitely wasn't anything Cinderella about it. The party was already in full swing but nobody turned to stare. The music didn't suddenly stop. In fact, I was barely spared a glance. Clover and Lily went deeper into the crowded room, though Marlene stayed by my side.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah." I squeaked, smoothing my skirt over my bum repeatedly to make sure I was completely covered.

"Well, I'm going to grab a drink. Wanna come?"

"No, I'm just…just gonna mingle, I suppose."

Marlene shrugged and pushed her way through the throng of Gryffindors. She moved through the room with ballerina-like motions. First twirling to greet this person, then raising a slender arm to wave at that person.

I watched in amazement as the throb of blaring music made my heart pound. I couldn't see Lily or Clover anymore. I watched as Marlene accepted a drink from a handsome seventh year with bleached blond curls and sea green eyes. I couldn't remember his name but I knew he was on the Quidditch team. As I watched her smile and flirt with the guy I felt intimidated, frightened, and painfully aware that I was the only one not with someone else. I felt like a three-year-old, quivering in the corner after trying to play dress up with mommy's clothes.

Now I was mad—mad and frightened. Everything inside me demanded I run back up to my dorm but I couldn't make my feet move. I felt oddly abandoned. Why would they dress me up like this and then leave me all alone to fend for myself?

I suddenly remembered Lily's question from earlier: "Are you six or sixteen?" Right now I felt six.

"Hey, it's Pond, right?"

I turned to see a girl standing next to me with a bottle of firewhiskey in her hand. She stared with me with cool blue eyes and flipped her brown hair over her shoulder. "Finally decided to join the big kids?"

I was unsure of how to answer that. She took a swig of her drink and offered me the bottle. I shook my head. She shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

I fidgeted with some lose pieces of hair as the taller girl eyed me.

She said, "Did Evans and her followers dress you up?"

"What?" I asked, shocked by her condescending tone.

"You know, just because you became their latest project, doesn't mean you'll ever be good enough for Sirius Black."

"Sirius Black?" I gaped at her.

"Don't look so innocent. I saw you two together at breakfast this morning."

"We were just sitting—I mean—I don't want anything to do with him—"

"Oh, right," she said sarcastically. "That explains why the most popular guy in school hangs out with a little girl who decided to play dress up and put on makeup. You'll never be good enough for him."

"Come on, Brown," Alice Fortescue suddenly appeared next to the girl. "Leave her alone. It's not Pond's fault Black turned you down."

Brown spun around. "Who asked for your opinion, Fortescue?"

Fortescue said nothing, except her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Whatever." Brown turned to glare at me with a hard, pinched expression. "You'll never be good enough for Sirius Black." She turned with a dramatic swish and marched off into the crowd.

"What was that about?" I asked Alice. My hands were shaking.

"She's just mad that Sirius Black turned her down." Fortescue looked at me with a scrutinizing expression. "You need to speak up for yourself next time." She said before she too turned away, chatting with a girl with bouncy curls.

I stood there, contemplating bailing this stupid party, my throat swelling and my heart pounding. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and immediately felt like spitting fire. Remus Lupin stood there, his face somewhat questioning.

"Hey," he looked at me, his head cocked, a slight smile on his face. "You look different."

I glared at him and barked out a humorless laugh. "I can't believe you. Look, Lupin—"

"Please, it's Remus," he said quickly.

"I don't care. I just want to know why you keep bothering me!" I demanded.

Lupin's face turned bright red and his eyes narrowed. I didn't care.

"Just tell me, Lupin! What do you want from me?"

"God, Lucy, don't you get it?!" Lupin burst out in a harsh voice, throwing his hands up wildly in the air.

I froze, heart pounding, knees weak. I had never seen Lupin loose his cool ever and it startled me to the point of being nearly frightened. The loud music around me seemed to fade to nothing and everyone else was but a blur around us. It was only us in this single moment.

Lupin dragged his hands down the length of his face, giving himself a rather ghoulish look. "I mean, I just want to hang out with you and be friends or something. Is there something so bad with that?! No wonder you're so alone all the time, you lash out at anyone who attempts to be nice to you!"

"That's-that's not true," I responded weakly.

"Really?" Lupin seemed to cool down a bit. "Is that what you think? Than why do you keep being so rude to me?"

"You're so pushy," I said, my voice sounded far away to me. I reminded myself to keep breathing. I had never fainted before in my life but I felt very near to it in the moment. "And, and why would you want to be friends with me? Why would you want to be anything with me? I'm well, just me. And you're you."

Lupin stared at me with incomprehension on his handsome face. Staring so intently at his face, I saw more than one scar this time. Besides the one I noticed earlier today, he had one above his left eyebrow and one that glittered white in the firelight along the scoop of his neck. For a brief, haphazard moment, I wanted to trace them with my finger.

"Is that what you think?" he whispered, his eyes staring down at me with intensity. He was suddenly really close, his fingers brushing wispy curls away from my eyes. His breath carried the faint scent of chocolate.

"I can't do this," I gasped suddenly. "I'm sorry." I turned from him and pushed my way through the crowd towards the opposite side of the room. I felt hot and cold all at the same time. I wished at the moment that I had a time turner so I could go back to a couple weeks ago and stop myself from ever talking to Lupin that first time. No relationship, whether it was platonic or romantic, was worth this much confusion and stress. Inwardly, I really wanted to find a hidden corner and cry out some of my emotions. But the room was packed and people swirled around me with drinks in hand, talking loudly and swaying to the music. I desperately looked for Lily or Clover, hoping to have some girl back up here so I wouldn't feel so alone in this room crowded with my peers.

"Hey! Lucy Pond!" James Potter came out of nowhere and grabbed me by the arm and whirled me in a tight circle before I knew what was happening. He grinned at me as I regained my balance. "Never seen you at a party before! It's about time you joined the fun! Drink?" he held out a clear, plastic cup filled with amber liquid. I stared at it for a moment, fighting the indecisive battle then grabbed it, desperate for a distraction, and downed it in one long gulp. The overwhelming taste hit me like a battering ram and for a moment I couldn't breathe.

"Whoa, slow down there, killer," Sirius Black said from beside Potter as Pettigrew chuckled from my reaction. He slapped my back as I gagged and attempted to catch my breath. "You've ever even drink before?

"No," I gasped in a wheezy voice. "Never."

A wicked grin spread across his face. "Great. Let's get you another, then, shall we?"

Potter sniggered, rolling his eyes, "maybe a little slower this time or you'll be on the floor, blacked out before you know it. You definitely wouldn't want to wake up from a night of that. Trust me. I've been there."

Black returned with another cup of amber liquid for me and I took a sip and grimaced, my chest feeling very warm and my shoulders tingling rather weirdly. "Why does it taste so nasty?" I asked.

"It's an acquired taste. You'll get used to it," said Potter. I took another drink from my cup and the warmth in my chest spread to my belly. The stress on my spine seemed to seep away. It was an amazing feeling and I wanted to feel it faster. I tipped the cup again, all the way this time.

Black, Potter, and Pettigrew all laughed at me.

"Easy there, Pond," Potter cautioned as he laughed. "I really wasn't kidding when I said you'll be flat on the floor if you're not careful."

"Aw, shut it, Prongs," Black waved him off, offering me his own bottle of firewhiskey. "Let the girl have some fun." His fingers lingered on my arm and I instantly tensed and pulled my arm away. I preoccupied myself with the bottle in my hand, enjoying how it fizzed and burned as it slid down my throat.

"So, Pond, what do you do for fun?" Pettigrew asked, a little shyly in my opinion. I looked at the short and chubby boy and passed the bottle from one hand to another.

"Not a lot," I answered with a lazy shrug. "I like art and reading and I sing a little I guess. But I'm not that good at any of that but I guess I like it."

Black faked a loud snore and pushed Pettigrew aside, "Sounds boring." He declared, ignoring Pettigrew's noise of protest. He raised his voice above the noise of the crowd. "Who's up for shots?" he yelled.

A cheer rose from the crowd. Miniature glasses were passed around filled to the brim with a clear, thick-ish liquid.

"Just drink it all in one go!" James shouted to me above the noise. "If the taste is too overwhelming, bite into the lime wedge."

Sirius climbed atop a table which wobbled somewhat dangerously. "To Gryffindor!" he roared.

I downed the shot and bit quickly into the lime wedge, gagging and fighting back the urge to vomit. Someone grabbed my elbow.

"Lucy!" Clover cried above the noise. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were a bit shiny. "I've been looking for you! You having fun yet?"

I nodded, straightening up, and held up my bottle.

"I told you, didn't I!" she practically screamed in my ear. "I'm, like, you're fairy godmother or something!"

"Sure," I answered swaying slightly as I felt the shot I had just taken burning in my belly, watching as she did a little jig and then spun off. I took another long swig of my drink, wincing as it burned. I, too, began to sway to the beat of the music. I felt lighter than I had ever been. I listened idly as Potter and Black verbally sparred and tossed nasty jokes at one another. Pettigrew did this odd dance where he attempted to join in the conversations, pouted and tried to squeeze between the taller boys in an effort for more attention. I drank the rest of the bottle and when I gulped the last drop, Black was there with another drink in hand for me. His lingering touches didn't bother me anymore and I giggled when he played with the wisps of my hair. I didn't notice Potter watching us with an intense look on his face like he wanted to say something but didn't.

I had to admit that I occasionally looked over my shoulder in an attempt to catch a glimpse of Lupin but never seemed to see him amidst the mingling students. Maybe he wasn't that much of a party person. Or maybe he was just avoiding me. No surprise there. I watched heavy-lidded as Potter and Sirius began arguing over which Quidditch team was the best. They were both sloppy, it appeared.

"You've clearly lost your bloody fuckin' mind if you think the Chudley Cannons have anything on the Bulgarians!" Potter spouted, spraying a mouthful of firewhiskey on everyone in the near vicinity. A girl near me squealed in disgust as I wiped alcohol off my face.

Black let out a manic sort of laugh. "Have you seen the way their seeker plays? He's brilliant! Best Seeker in the World Cup! And in case you didn't know, the Seeker is the best player!"

"Do you really want to go there?" Potter demanded, his hands balling into fists.

I watched them with wide eyes, feeling sluggish and unsure. Clearly impaired by my own drinking, I wanted to break up the scene before it went too far.

"Wait," I said, stepping forward, prepared to cool them down.

Just then Potter took a sloppy swing at Black. Black, in an involuntary reaction to Potter's swing, lifted his right forearm to block the blow. Instead, he connected with my jaw and knocked me to the floor.

Nothing.

Hope you liked it! Please Review! I'm welcome to constructive criticism, comments, suggestions, or praise! ;) Hope to hear from you all!