Calvin and Hobbes go to the buttplug factory

Calvin went to school and brought his favorite tiger Hobbes to school. However, his btich old teacher, who smelled like tampons, would not let him bring his tiger, Hobbes, to school. So Calvin surrepititiously smuggled Hobbes to school in the one place no one dared to look – up his butt.

However Calvin found the experience to be quite… pleasrauble.

Calvin: Wow, I never felt anything like this before! Excapt everytime I do it.

: Okay kids, everybody get ready for the daytrip to the Buttplug factory! I hope everyone has their permission slips… Calvin, I hope you didn't bring you FAGGY gay little Tiger frined, Hobbes to school – YOU HOMO!

Calivn: I am not a homo! [later at buttplugfactory. It is made of bricks and it is in the shape of a giant dildo. From the tip, it emites white smoke. Whirring machines churn out piles and piles of every butt plug imaginable – pink ones, purples ones, twirly ones, twisted ones. ]

: here we are, for our sexeducation part of our schooling!

Calvin thinking to himself: gee all of these buttplugs sure do look like they would feel better then Hobbes in my butthole. His fur is really thick and itchy and his claws are ruining my butthole!

Hobbes in a voice that only Calvin can hear: Calvin, don't be talkin about me like that! I'm your best friend you little shit, don't you go thinking about replacing me with a buttplug in your butt!

Calvin: Sorry Hobbes, didn't mean it like that

: Who are you talking to Calvin? If it's your gay little tiger friend again, I am going to have to rip out your penis and eat it again!

Suzie: What a shithead! Right mister buns! I hope his penis does get ripped off so he won't keep on showing me it on the bus to school!

THE END.