Chapter Thirty Five: You thought it was over and everyone was safe! But it was I! The Monkey!

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

The entire stadium turned silent. It was as if everyone there had been suckerpunched at the exact same time, and couldn't utter a sound. Eyes bugging out and mouths agape aplenty, but not a single person spoke.

Not that they could hear anything over the deafening symphony of their heavily pounding hearts and the Kyubi's malicious growling, which from their perspective was the equivalent of an avalanche.

Seeing a Biju in person for the first time tended to have that effect. For most, it was first time witnessing one so close at all. And for a good number of veterans, the experience guaranteed to trigger all sorts of PTSD in the near future.

Just by existing, even after fighting for half the day, the beast radiated such intense energy and power that it almost smothered every normal living being within a two kilometer radius. Already, people were beginning to pass out, unable to handle the intense atmosphere.

"Not our fault! This is totally not our fault this time! Everyone here is a witness! You can't deny the truth! We are completely blameless!"

And, just like most in other major events in Konoha, an Oogakari ruined it.

WHAM!

Waltz didn't say anything as steam came from a fist that was hovering over a freshly made hole in the stands right where Shadow once stood.

Sylvia and Dima just looked away and shifted slightly uncomfortably. Clearly this wasn't the first time they were trying to pretend that they didn't know Shadow or notice the repercussions of her actions.

Before anyone else could do or say anything in response to the usual childish antics, the Fox's gaze turned straight to the yelling, more importantly, to Waltz.

"That's the… Kyubi…"

"The Yondaime. He's really there."

"Screw that. Look at the Tsuchikage."

"You mean everything on the screen, shit, it really was all real. That means that Iwagakure's…"

And with Shadow's outburst, the damn of silence began to crack and ebb under the weight of fear.

"Tsunade!" Minato shouted from Kurama's feet, trying his best alongside Roshi and Kurotsuchi to treat Onoki as he bled out. "We need help! Hurry!"

"And here we go again." Waltz sighed, knowing what was going to happen next, and in what order.

With a single step forward, the giant old man vanished from his spot in the audience to the arena floor, right next to Naruto.

A brief pulse of his Presence made literally every living being in the arena jump in surprise and draw their attention to him. The fact that the old man was already standing in the middle of the grounds, right underneath the Demon Fox itself, and yet neither him nor the beast were making moves against one another was clear as day. It didn't give many people the idea that it was safe, but it did make most believe that there was something up that was preventing the fox from murdering them all.

"What the?!" Kurotsuchi jumped alongside everyone else as they felt his appearance and turned to his direction.

Following his waving finger like a conductor guiding the wind, a pair of small balls of water floated through the air from Waltz's pouch and to the Tsuchikage's wounds, engulfing them like caps. "That'll keep him alive until Tsunade gets here." He turned to Naruto by his feet.

"Why the hell are you tending to the brat first?!" Kurotsuchi snapped angrily. "He's not in danger of bleeding out here!"

"The last move the boy used in the fight was a forbidden one. Even by our standards. Unless you don't mind risking him becoming genuinely deranged with the power he wields, or potentially losing control over all of it right here, I recommend you be patient." Waltz glanced back at the girl for at most a second before turning back to the topic at hand. "How are you faring?"

"… Teleporting in critical condition sucks," Naruto muttered, lying flat on his back with one of Kurama's tails sticking out of his stomach. The world around him slowly faded away. He could barely move his body, and he could feel little more than pain and twisted sensations that he was pretty sure the human body shouldn't experience. He really hoped someone tilted his head soon, otherwise he might choke on his tongue, or vomit, while he was unconscious.

Wait. Speaking of vomit...

"Trust me, I know the feeling." The doctor crouched down and began to inspect the boy with large hands glowing white. Good. Naruto was still coherent and lucid enough to form complete sentences and recognize abstract selfish desires.

He didn't even need to touch the patient to start making a prognosis. Just because someone managed to come back from using Law did not mean that they would make a complete recovery.

"Hey. Solar Plexus." For a moment, Waltz paused in confusion at Naruto's request, but after a few moments he realized what the boy was getting at.

"Ah. That. Of course."

A quick and precise jab in the teen's stomach had him reeling instantly, making his body lurch and his mouth bulge.

The following moment, the end of a scroll popped out of the victim's mouth, which was quickly pulled out by the old man.

"F-cough-uck!" The teen naturally gasped for air and coughed from the experience.

"Yeah, that's normally what happens when someone deep-throat's something they really shouldn't have." Waltz shrugged nonchalantly.

He was a doctor. It was practically a rite of passage for them to spend some time tending to idiots that stuck random objects into every part of their bodies imaginable. Ghost, Crypt, Shadow, and even Scabbard were not exceptions in the slightest.

Naruto, still coughing, gave the old man a dirty glare.

"… We'll take care of him." Waltz turned around to Jiraiya was standing, still trying to get his bearings straight. Apparently, teleporting without warning with two cranky elder toads on his shoulders was a surefire way to throw one's sage chakra out of whack if his bulging nose was any indication. "Catch."

"Huh?" The Sage blinked intelligently, clearly a bit disoriented, before managing to catch the scroll at the last moment. "Wait, this is…"

"Take care of that, will you? And get out of Sage Mode already. You look ridiculous." Waltz didn't even bother to wait for Jiraiya's response to his dismissal before turning back to his patient.

"I, we're in Konoha?" Jiraiya blinked as his facial features slowly returned to being human. "Minato?"

"Must have been that Hiraishin move." Ma rubbed her eyes. "Honestly. No matter what name you call it, teleporting is so darn stressful! As if I didn't get enough wrinkles from today."

The Fourth Hokage breathed out slowly as he helped Roshi keep the Tsuchikage lucid. "If we wanted Onoki to live, we needed the best care as quickly as possible. If he died, well, there'd be war regardless of what else we did, no matter who was where when word spread."

"Fine thing for you to say. You're already dead." Onoki grimaced, sweat gathering on his forehead already as he looked around before his gaze turned back to his severed stumps where left arm and leg used to be. "You idiots didn't happen to grab my limbs, did you?"

"Sorry. Everything happened so fast. We were more focused on you and the giant fox getting pissed to grab em." Roshi smiled sheepishly. "Something tells me that the Yondaime isn't willing to make a return trip to pick them up for us."

"Actually, I would if I could, but all my sigils in the area were destroyed in the fighting." Minato apologized.

"Figures," Onoki grumbled as he leaned back on the ground. "You Konoha shinobi are too half assed. Can't do anything all the way through. Even dying apparently."

The former Kage smirked at the jab. "Trust me, you're not missing much Onoki. You are right though. I even more or less half assed this bit." He motioned to his own fake body helplessly.

"What a surprise."

"Don't keel over old man. It would be a pain if you passed on after all that bullshit," Naruto groaned, already feeling what little energy he had leaving. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to kneel over now."

A swift tap on the boy's forehead brought him back to reality and kept him there, much to his disappointment.

"…? The hell?"

"Not yet. Ghost probably didn't tell you, but treatment before the first time you fall asleep is critical for recovery." The second his consciousness turns itself off, everything that makes up Naruto's existence will fall permanently in place, like drying cement. That is, until the next time he used Law. That being said, the best thing that could happen would be that Waltz rearranged everything as optimally as possible.

Problem was for most Law users, there were not many things, or people, out there that were capable of such feats, which is why Ghost didn't mention it.

On the plus side, with Naruto in his current state, Waltz had an easier time addressing at least some of the chaotic mess that was left over from the first time the boy had used the technique.

With proper treatment, and enough time, the teen would eventually make a decent recovery. Physical and mental.

Not a full one though. Never a full one. No one was ever the same once they used Law for the first time.

"Damn it," Naruto emotionlessly sighed, not bothering to move from his spot on the ground, since he physically couldn't. "Fine. I'll just get cozy with the floor again. We've been developing a fantastic relationship. Don't see what the big deal is. The cliff's a way bigger asshole."

Far in the background one could hear someone shout fanatically. "LIESSS!"

Waltz hovered over the boy with shining eyes of ominous futures. "Don't. Even. Start."

"Heh." Well what do you know, he could feel something other than overwhelming exhaustion and crippling pain after all. Unfortunately, the sensation of overwhelming fear was not something he was eager to reacquaint himself with.

"Naruto!" If he could move his head, the injured teen would have been able to see Hinata and the vast majority of his friends appear on the arena's grounds with a quick shunshin and were rushing to see him. However, he still was generating his Seventh Sense, so he could tell who was coming to him almost immediately.

Unfortunately, the group could only start their approach before several squads of ANBU appeared between them with weapons drawn.

"Naruto Uzumaki! Oogakari! You and your conspirators are to be taken in for interrogation under suspicion of breaking international law!" A captain shouted with iron clad authority while the rest of his men began to flip through seals.

Or rather, it would be ironclad authority if he wasn't standing directly under the Kyubi's head.

"… It's times like this I'm reminded why I have no faith in you useless meatbags." The fox's annoyed grumblings were barely decipherable to those that weren't used to hearing him talk.

"I envy you." Waltz rolled his eyes. "You're fortunate enough to forget occasionally."

"Oi!" Jiraiya waved his arms frantically. "I'm the Sannin Jiraiya! Registration number 002301! I'm pulling rank! Stand down! I repeat! Stand down and don't attack the giant Fox that will probably kill everyone if you piss it off!"

"Probably?" How insulting. The sage was questioning his ability to mass murder. He was still running hot on chakra from the fighting, and was more than ready and willing to blast through a mountain or two to prove a point.

Then again, that carving of the Hokages' head looked quite tempting. He did still owe Minato a few cheap shots for the hell he was put through…

"Even if you are the Sannin Jiraiya, we can't ignore the fact that a Biju is left unchecked in the village!" The Captain stated with conviction before issuing more commands. "Prepare the sealing array and-"

Before he could finish though, several crimson tails speared the ground between the groups of ANBU, radiating enough chakra to corrupt the land between them all and disrupt whatever jutsu they were setting up.

"Unless you monkeys didn't notice, I can hear you." Kurama looked at the group with unrivaled levels of disdain.

They were fortunate that he had missed them on purpose instead of killing all of them like he had planned… then again, perhaps the chakra radiation he had exposed them to would be a good enough reminder not to follow a retarded leader. When they discovered it at least.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" Thankfully for everyone there, Tsunade finally appeared, glaring murderously at the ANBU. "Do you want to kill most of the village?!"

"Hokage-sama. They-" The ANBU tried to excuse himself but was immediately cut off by his superior.

"Stand down all of you! Because so help me if the fox or the Oogakari doesn't kill you for the betterment of our species, I will!" The Hokage snarled.

"And I will record the entire thing for future generations to read and learn from." Jiraiya stated flatly in a tone that eerily matched Scabbard's standard.

"Oi oi. Don't lump me in with the others. I'm not that bad," Waltz muttered more to himself than anyone else.

He didn't speak for the other members of his family though. He didn't do that anymore. Not when it came to killing idiots.

"But, the Kyubi-"

"Is so massive that it can only fit one paw in the damn arena and has yet to show a sign of going on a rampage or killing anyone here. So unless your plan is to give it a reason, I suggest you stop talking right now!" Tsunade had a point. The fox's full size was so absurdly titanic that it really could only fit one of its front paws in the building. The other front was resting on the roof, while its hind legs were outside of the compound.

"Come to think of it, I have worked up a bit of an appetite…"

"Just because I work on humans doesn't mean I don't know how to neuter your furry ass! Now shut up unless you have something important to say!" Tsunade immediately turned to the beast and shook a glowing green fist at the Biju without fear or shame, completely disregarding her earlier warnings about not trying to antagonize the Biju.

Much to the surprise of everyone there, the titanic beast did not respond to Tsunade's threat of castration with anger or indignity, but with amusement. "Heh. I doubt you have reached the level to do that, spawn of Hashirama. As much as it would amuse me to see you try, I believe you have other priorities."

"Will you idiots stop trying to piss off the giant fox and help already?!" Kurotsuchi yelled from a short distance away. "Gramps isn't going to last much longer at this rate!"

"Oh for… Naruto, we are going to have a long conversation later about getting you to stop outdoing yourself." The Hokage half grunted half shouted as she stomped towards the crippled Tsuchikage, shoving aside her ANBU in the process.

"Does it help that I brought back a gallon of magic headache medication that she can take with booze because I knew something stupid would happen?" The guilty party half groaned half snarked, more to himself than anyone else.

"No! But I'll take it anyway!"

"You're welcome."

"Hokage-sama, what about-" The ANBU captain turned to ask her what he should do about the situation before he was bombarded with the combined Presences of the shinobi he and his squad had just stopped.

The Lone Hemochromatic Wolf prowled forward, lightning sparking around its silver fur in the presence of the Great Storm.

"Allow me to make things easier for you. Kyohai." Kakashi stepped forward, his visible eye practically glowing with genuine annoyance and authority. "Your jobs will be to secure the area. To calm down the civilians. And to make sure that nobody does anything stupid that could cause, oh, say, make a Biju go on a murderous rampage."

All the ANBU stood at attention, not at all willing to look away from Kakashi's calm and eye smiling demeanor.

"… Now."

"Sir!" In the blink of an eye, all the agents vanished into the crowds above.

Kakashi nodded in satisfaction, dropping his Presence in the process. "... Still got it."

It was at that moment that he realized that the rest of his group had already left him behind and were standing by Naruto.

"… Or not." Be strong Kakashi. Your moment will come one day.

"Naruto!" Hinata knelt over him with tears in her eyes. "You're ok!"

"In a sense." Paralyzed, exhausted, and a borderline cripple, but not dead.

"I'm surprised you haven't passed out yet." Sasuke smirked. "That's practically your trademark. You get into a big fight, mutilate yourself, and then pass out for everyone else to clean up your mess."

"Shit. You figured it out."

"Hilarious." Shikamaru shook his head before getting a good look at his friend. "It is surprising that you're still awake though."

"The best time to treat someone that just used Law is before they fall asleep." Waltz answered the unspoken question. "He can bitch and moan all he wants, but he's not going under until I say he does."

Naruto opened his mouth.

"Do you really want to take a challenge against me right now boy?"

Naruto closed his mouth.

"Yeah, speaking of which, I know we just had that out of body experience which I'm pretty certain none of us were particularly prepared for, but just how bad a state is he in right now?" Sakura asked the question that was on everyone's minds while reaching over with her own hands glowing with chakra.

Her arms were stopped half way by Waltz' own.

"Not yet. Let me work my magic first."

"That bad?" Kakashi frowned.

The Old Man looked up at the Scarecrow with a firm gaze. "We don't teach Law. Period. For several damn good reasons."

The weight of his words hung ominously in the air and pressed down on all their shoulders.

"Well shit," Ino summed up their thoughts adequately.

Chouji grimaced. "If it's that bad, will Naruto get better?"

"Depends." Waltz looked down at his patient. "How many times does this make?"

A weak and reluctant smirk made its way on Naruto's face. "Second. First was a complete fluke. Ero-ni was off supposedly being productive and important for once. I was trying to do something else at the time and kinda just, slipped into Law. He only taught me how to use it properly after he came back and found out what happened."

"… You learned Law, by accident." Waltz had heard and seen a load of ass pulls over the millennia, but even by his standards, this one was up there. "The hell were you trying to do?"

"I was hanging out with Luffy and met a Logia user. Tried to make a jutsu to imitate what they did using Presence as the foundation. Was overconfident after managing to finally imitate some of Whitebeard's tricks, and you saw the rest."

The old man's expression went completely emotionless for a good ten seconds before using a free hand to facepalm hard enough to make a small shockwave. "… That, makes far more sense than it ever should considering the results. You are lucky you managed to survive the first time you used it."

"Nami helped. Weather Witch."

"Ah. That makes sense."

"Uh guys? Context for the people that have no idea what you're talking about?" Ino interjected.

"He tried something stupid while Ghost was away, learned an extremely forbidden even by our standards technique, lucked out in surviving the ordeal, and Ghost was stuck teaching him it properly after returning to aid in his recovery and help in the off chance he actually had to use it again, which he did." Waltz gave them the TLDR version.

"Oh." Everyone accepted it instantly.

"Are you sure you can't let me pass out yet?"

"Depends. Do you want to have some fragments of your existence that you fucked up the first time around put back in place so you can think and act almost clearly again?" The old man replied in the same tone.

"Ngh."

"Wait. Back up. What was that about thinking and acting clearly?" Chouji wasn't the only one that was confused.

"Law… one of the things it does spreads yourself out. Your mind. Body. Soul. All of it gets thrown everywhere, in the physical and non-physical sense. When, if, the user manages to pull themselves back together, very rarely does everything fall back properly in place. Even more rarely does everything come back, period."

"You mean that there's actually parts of Naruto still flying around Iwagakure?" Shino blinked in surprise.

"Again. Forbidden Technique. High risk of death and insanity is just one reason why," Waltz grunted.

"I got better." Naruto pouted, trying to make light of his condition.

"You look like shit." Sasuke snarked.

"It's a vicious cycle. I've been trying to address it."

"Clearly you've been dragging your feet."

"I wish I had the motor functions to do that."

"Too bad you still have the ones that let you talk."

"Shame that."

There was a round of half hearted laughing as the two went back and forth. No one was particularly in the mood to be witty, but it was still better than panicking.

Unfortunately, they noticed that they weren't the only ones making noise if the increasing volume of the crowd was any indication.

"Maa maa. As entertaining as all of this is, shouldn't we be worried that someone may do something irrational with the fox out?" Kakashi interjected before looking up at the beast in question. "No offense of course. Even your smaller state would be preferable right now."

"I would if I could," Kurama relented. "However, sticking myself back in the brat while he's being treated would only cause problems. His chakra, his core, is unstable."

"And whose fault is that?" Waltz shook his head. "As if putting Naruto back together properly wasn't difficult by itself, he had to absorb that massive chakra construct right after reconstructing himself. And then there's the matter of Kushina…"

"What happened to Kushina?" Minato approached, having been turned away by Tsunade, who was in the middle of giving emergency aid to Onoki.

"You already know firsthand just how messed up Naruto's insides can get after using Law." Waltz shook his head. "Everything is unstable right now. It might have been fine if Naruto hadn't taken in that well of power earlier, or if Kushina had managed to isolate herself ahead of time inside of Naruto, but instead she was thrusted back inside of him when her body dispersed, right into the middle of that chaos. Her chakra's currently mixed with that maelstrom of power right now. Throwing you or the fox in now would only make things worse."

"Then what can we do?" The former Kage was clearly worried for his wife's safety.

"You, do nothing. Your wife's chakra is tiny compared to the power of seven Biju. Getting her out of that mess is like looking for a grain of sand being blasted about in a typhoon," The old man grumbled. "I will get her out of there. And heal your son. Which will be easier if everyone can let me finish this. Speaking of, Sylvia."

As if on demand, the silver haired woman appeared on the other side of Naruto instantly, almost as if she had used Hiraishin, with a far too innocent and curious expression for this sort of situation. "Yes Waltz?"

"I need a filter. Human spirit stuck in a seven source singularity in a soul compartment."

She shook her head and sighed with exasperation. "It's never simple and straightforward when you guys are around, is it?"

"You have no right to complain about that of all things."

"At least when I'm at fault, it's on purpose Waltz. I'm not a self-proclaimed harbinger and overseer of chaos."

"Settling for being mentored by them and sleeping with them doesn't help your argument."

"It doesn't help yours either." She knelt down and examined Naruto curiously before pausing. "Waltz, can I have a bit of background on this seal? It's a complete patchwork…"

"It was originally a suicide Shinigami invocation, but the user snuck in his and his wife's imprints as failsafes. Ghost then cleaned up the filter and upped the conceptual nature synergy. Scab extracted and isolated the father, who was serving as the lock for the thing. Crypt then extracted the mother, who was the base, and more or less reconfigured the entire setup replacing the Shinigami's essence with his own."

The woman slowly turned her head to the old man and gave him a very dry, stern, and unamused expression.

"Have fun."

Sylvia held back a tired groan before relenting to her current task and getting to work. "It's times like these that I question whether it was worth spending so much effort into seals. It feels like it's only necessary whenever I'm being used by you guys."

"Yeah, uh, speaking of convoluted messes." Jiraiya was busy looking at the giant screen showing everything they were doing at that very moment. "Please don't tell me that the entire village was watching us from that thing."

"And more!" Tsunade snapped from the side.

"You mean that feeling I had that the Kazekage and Zabuza were watching us wasn't because I was being overly paranoid and expecting the worst out of you lot?" The sage grimaced.

"All four Kage outside of Onoki, plus their close entourage." Waltz nodded firmly, as if listing everyone involved. "Couldn't leave them out of the fun after all the hyping up and preparation everyone was doing. Scab set it all up, as per usual. He likes recording and selling fight data to others. Makes good Friday night movie material."

"You what?!" Kurotsuchi snapped. "More than half of Iwagakure got tortured to near insanity and you're treating the whole thing like a discount movie?!"

"Happens more often than you'd think." It still would get a better treatment than World War Two. The only reason why that fiasco got the Hollywood treatment for so long was because the hacks there were lazy as fuck when it came to hiring decent writers and taking risks. Politically correct pussies, the lot of them.

Shadow in particular liked setting California on fire by first getting some locals to agree to multiverse theory, then immediately making them realize that they had indirectly accepted the fact that in a literal infinite number of universes, Nazis were the good guys, and thus, from a statistical perspective, only half of all Nazis were evil.

She killed so many movie franchises that way.

Kakashi frowned as the severity of the situation finally dawned on him. "Tsunade-sama. If the other Kage know about this, then there's a chance that they might be reacting to Iwagakure's situation even as we speak. Even worse is that Iwa is completely left out of the loop and their Kage is now here without warning."

"Sorry to butt in on the conversation, but you have additional worse news." Sylvia interjected. "If you haven't noticed, Ghost isn't here."

There was an ominous silence as her words sunk in.

"FUCK!"

o. o. o.

"I have a feeling people are suspecting the worst of me again," the missing person in question deadpanned as he finished sealing up the dimensional tear that spanned the length of a mountain that had been formed during the brawl. "Why can't anybody hold off on that shit until I'm off the clock?"

"Oogakari!"

"And lo and behold, more yelling. For fuck's sake, I'm blind, not deaf people." He turned around with a strained shit eating smile to see three squads of Iwa ANBU standing a seemingly safe distance away from him with weapons drawn. "Hey guys. Long time no see. Look. I know I did some pretty messed up shit the last time I was in the area, and I know that it doesn't look good that I'm here again, but I got nothing… well, technically nothing to do with what happened today, alright?"

The shinobi responded by positioning their bodies to move at a moment's notice.

He wasn't impressed. "Really? Guys. Please. Stop embarrassing yourselves and put those things away. You know that killing and restraining me won't work. Don't pretend that you can intimidate me and ask what you want to know already. Believe it or not, I'm a third par- wait, hold on. There's you guys. Akatsuki. The minion. The priest. Rabbit alien lady… sorry, correction, sixth. Sixth party in all of this."

All the ANBU there made an effort to hide their displeasure, completely disregarding most of Ghost's nonsensical ramblings, but the shaking of some of their limbs betrayed their emotions. Thankfully, before anyone did something stupid, an operative with a Snake mask stepped forward. "If even half of the nonsense you're spewing is the truth, then why are you here in the first place, Oogakari?"

Ghost shrugged and made a sweeping gesture to their surroundings. "Front row seats to a good show. Plus the kid may or may not have used a forbidden technique with certain implications that needed specialized oversight. As his teacher, it would have been a real dick move if I wasn't there in person for it."

"You sound like you can teleport."

"I can." Ghost didn't hesitate.

"At will."

"Yes."

"… And instead of doing that weeks ago, you decided to torture the entirety of our village?" The ANBU's tone was gradually growing in volume and fury.

Ghost was not intimidated. "And if I did go through with that hypothetical situation, ask yourself, what would Iwa done afterwards, and just how well do you think that would have turned out knowing I'd probably get involved?"

"Kch." It didn't take a genius to determine what would have happened. Iwa would have declared war, or made some other irrational response, and Oogakari would have answered in kind.

In the end, the end results really wouldn't have changed that much. The only difference would be that more than Iwa would be watching the bloodbath.

In a sense, the madman had simply sped things up by a few steps and saved everyone the time and effort of the buildup.

Ghost's sunglasses flashed ominously. "That's what I thought."

There was a chill that ran through the spines of the shinobi there. "Why is no one else is here but us? What did you do with the others?"

And like that, the intimidating aura around the man was completely gone, leaving the casual jackass that everyone was familiar with once more. "Whoa. Hold on. Back up. My hands are clean this time guys. Like I said. I'm just a spectator. Everyone else left on their own steam. The only person I touched was the minion, and it was literally a poke to the head long before the mass disappearing act. Some esoteric tricks included in it, yes, but nothing that would affect anyone other than the kid himself."

"Then where is Onoki-sama?" The ANBU pressed.

"The gnome?" Ghost scratched his head and tilted it to the side, as if looking past the shinobi to where the old man had last been. "Hold on a sec. I was busy here dealing with some stuff so I wasn't paying attention to what was happening for the past few minutes. Last I checked, the old man and everyone else were around there, and there are signs of a mass special distortion, so whatever happened snagged the Fox at the very least. Slightly look past a couple of layers aaaand… got it. He's in Konoha. Along with that lava girl and the monkey, and the minion. Oh, and Jiraiya's there too I guess."

"WHAT?!" This time, several ANBU couldn't hide their surprise and anger.

Ghost shrugged and pointed to the location of the warp. "Yeah. I don't know why they did that either. Like I said, I wasn't paying attention at the end. Regardless, they made the jump about a kilometer that way. The Fox's power is still pretty heavy there, so you shouldn't miss it. If it makes you feel any better, they're all still alive."

There was a brief moment of hesitation before the group communicated with a series of hand signals and a squad left in that direction.

"If they are in Konoha, why didn't you leave with them? You said it yourself. You can teleport," The leader pressed firmly.

"Had to do some cleanup work." The immortal waved lazily to the area behind him.

It wasn't hard to see what he was referring to.

The entire training grounds, no, the entire mountain range had been completely obliterated and reformed in the wake of the fighting that had taken place. What had once been a massive and dense view of standard mountains and peaks had been warped into a twisted menagerie of craters, canyons, and stone formations that looked like endless fangs and claws reaching up to the sky in pure malice. The few "normal" mountains that weren't completely warped nearby had all their peaks sliced off in a single go, leaving a wide range of flat plateaus which, in hindsight, would probably act pretty well as outposts and bases for the village later on.

If that wasn't enough, there was also the ominous atmosphere that now dominated the environment. Clouds hovered over the area, taunting those below just by existing with the threat of possibly unleashing errant bolts of lightning at a moment's notice. Howling and irregular winds weaved through the twisted mountains and canyons that had been made, producing an intermittent chorus that almost sounded otherworldly.

In all honesty, it was a scene that rivaled if not surpassed the Valley of the End in both scale and impact.

There was little doubt that in the near future, the place would at the very least be turned into Iwa's equivalent of the Forest of Death.

"You guys can tell that this was different than your standard fight. Loads of special reality warping moves were used, plus a couple of biju, and that asshole that literally got stronger from the suffering of others. I'm sure at least a couple of you have a decent idea of what happens when time-space jutsu goes out of control. Well, unfortunately, you got that in spades here."

Of course a good portion of high ranking Iwagakure shinobi knows what happens when time-space ninjutsu goes wrong. After the third war, a good portion of their budget had gone into trying to counter or replicate the Hiraishin.

There were more than a couple of "missing persons" reports filled out in lieu of the long series of blind experiments. Onoki used more than a few of them to frame and put down a couple of troubling individuals in the village at the time.

"The time-space in this area's distorted?" One of the remaining ANBU nervously looked around warily, clearly trying to see any signs.

"Torn and shorn." Ghost waved a hand behind him, as if issuing a command.

Almost as if the world had a heartbeat, the land pulsed, revealing scores upon scores of invisible scars that stretched for sometimes kilometers, glowing with a myriad of colors that did not exist.

No one missed the fact that several of these tears looked like something was trying to push through from the other side.

Now that they knew what to look for, they could feel it. Power and auras that they instinctively knew did not come from their world. Energies that would corrupt and corrode faster and more viciously than the chakra of a Biju. It was leaking out now, but for how long…

"My god." One shinobi stepped back in alarm, his training unable to hide his thoughts.

Ghost was the only one that genuinely didn't seem bothered by the sight.

"You, you're going seal all of these?" Snake swallowed heavily. "Why?"

The immortal shrugged. "Not going to lie, my little freakout from before did tenderize the area a bit, making the damage worse than it should have been. So, I am partially responsible for this. Either way, I doubt anyone here is able to clean up this mess, and dealing with the fallout of leaving it alone would be an even bigger pain to address. Might as well get it over with while everything's fresh."

"… I guess that means taking you in for interrogation is off the table."

"Psh. Like you could." Ghost smiled wryly before focusing on one rift in particular. "Whoops. Hold on a sec. The guys on the other side of that one are getting a bit jumpy."

Without hesitating in the slightest, he pulled out the beer bottle he had been drinking from earlier, shattered the end of it on a rock, and charged straight towards the rift.

"Oi! Don't you failed abortions dare think that I don't see what you're trying to pull! Gargle all you want, I know you know who the fuck I am, what I can do with a broken bottle, and how ugly you look with gangrene!"

"Ŗ̴̛̮̼͍̦͙̰̙̞̗̠͂͒̔̅͘ą̷̛̗͌̓͑̈́͆̑͛͛̈͛̂̀͋̂ą̸̨̢̯̦͖̞̺̭͐a̸̢̡̨̝̭̺͍̰̳̮̰͉̍͗̋̒̍̎̃͜m̴̝̐͋͋̌̀́̾͊͘g̴͈͚̝̖̼͊̈́̐̈̈́̓͐̊̕͘͝͝͝ͅͅh̴̗̙̘͚͈̬̲͐͂̆̇̓̄̅̊̚͠t̷͉͓̞́̉̋̄̐́̂͜͝ǎ̸͎̦̯̓̏̋́́a̷̭͛̄́̎̌͆̉͑͘ȧ̶͖͉̉̒̍̎̅͗͑̚à̸̼͕̙̯̙̠̞̼̂̑̀͒̒̿̀̒͋̓̀̕͝!̸̧̧̢̰͇̻̱̗̦̖̮̌!̸̛̙̻̰͎̲̼͖̣͚̤̻̐̑͑̈́̈̍̽͊ͅ!̸̡̡̤̤̠͉̯̒͘" An otherworldy roar echoed through time and space, shaking the world around them.

"Yeah well in case you've forgotten, I fucked your Queen! In all twenty of her holes!" Unlike the stunned ANBU, Ghost didn't pause in his charge in the slightest, flourishing his improvised weapon as if it was a divine weapon of lore. "Now be a good accident, bend over, and get ready to beg your alcoholic father for mercy!"

Judging from the increase in eldritch war calls from that direction, the monsters on the other side of the rift not only heard Ghost, but understood him too.

Before anyone with a hint of rationality had time to ask what the hell was going on, Ghost dove into the rift in question with a high pitched war call and vanished from view.

The sounds coming from the rift were pretty hard to ignore though.

"… Yeah so," Ghost spoke up from behind the ANBU, making them all jump up in alarm.

"Oogakari!" Snarled one ANBU, only for the accused to lift its hand up in surrender.

"Clone. Clone. Calm down people. Just a clone here. It's called multitasking."

"You're doing this on purpose," Snake grunted accusingly.

"Would you rather just wait here with your thumbs up your asses before learning anything else?" He did not deny or confirm anything.

"I'm starting to get where the kid got his personality from."

"Oh trust me, when I'm around, he's the straight man."

"That's not hard to believe at all."

"Why the hell are we standing around like this?" One ANBU snapped. "Iwagakure's a mess. Half the population got tortured. Tsuchikage-sama, Roshi-sama, and Kurotsuchi-sama are gone, and here we are wasting time with this madman!"

The clone sighed. "One, you can't risk pissing me off and giving me a reason to push the other half of your village into a hysterical state. Again. Two, despite how annoying I am, I'm still cooperating with you and giving you information, and three…"

"Three?" Snake grimaced, knowing full well that Oogakari's statements were completely valid.

The clone waved his hands in a wide arc, as if exemplifying how quiet everything has become with a crimson sun starting to set in the distance. "Haven't you noticed? Akatsuki's gone. The rebels have lost their muscle. That priest nut fucked over your village so hard that those rebels you were dealing with were caught in the crossfire and have lost their will to go on with their stupid plans. The few that were lucky enough to not get mixed up in it don't have the numbers to hold onto the village. The fight is over. You won."

The ANBU looked around, and could not argue the statement. The madness. The confusion. The chaos. It was all over. And the ground zero of it all was finally quiet again.

No. It wasn't simply quiet. It was borderline mute outside of the turbulent weather and the eldritch echoes of Ghost shanking some abomination in another reality. As if even the world itself was holding its breath, praying that it was over.

It sure as hell didn't feel like a victory. Which, ironically enough, to the veterans there made it all the more likely that it was true. There was no such thing as a clean win in their business. Not in the fights that matter.

"Akatsuki. Were they really all killed?"

"No." The clone shook his head. "A few are still alive. But most of the ones that matter are dealt with. As for the others… I doubt they are in any condition to try something now. Akatsuki's future in itself is questionable in its current state."

"You sound pretty sure of that." Snake stepped forward, his body language betraying absolutely none of his thoughts or intentions.

"I'm a mysterious guy. I'm supposed to know ambiguous things like that, suspicious person that is wearing a mask and is paid to do things without other people knowing."

He ignored the dirty glares that came at him from behind the masks.

"… Falcon. You and me will question Oogakari on the side. Everyone else do a sweep and examine the scene. Be careful not to agitate the rifts. Don't let anyone see or know that he's here. As much as I hate to admit it, he's right. If word got out that he's back, the entire village will collapse from the inside out." Snake relented.

"I'd recommend starting your search near the village. It's safer over there." The clone spoke up. "By the time you reach here again, most of the rifts should be sealed up. The worst ones at least."

"I'll stay." A female ANBU with a bug mask stepped forward. "I'll set up a flare if he does anything suspicious."

"You do realize that to the unexperienced eye, virtually anything I do to the rifts can be seen as such," the clone deadpanned.

"I'll try to keep an open mind," the ANBU dryly retorted.

"… I like you."

"If you don't have any other problems." Snake cut off that conversation, stepping forward. "Scatter."

Everyone save specified ANBU and the clone vanished instantly.

"Come. You can't be seen by the populace, but there is an outpost nearby where we can talk. Hopefully it's still intact."

"Mmm." The clone nodded and took a step forward, only to pause and turn to Bug. "Oh, be careful around the rifts."

"I have a hand in timespace techniques. I know the danger." The woman crossed her arms.

"That's not what I meant." The clone turned its head slightly to the nearest large fissure.

And past it.

There was some truth to the saying, peer too far into the abyss, and the abyss will look back.

However…

The Clone frowned, and in a literal instant of time that could not be determined by normal mortal existences, flared its Presence.

The countless eyes and sensory organs that had been watching him from the other side of the rift scattered and fled like scared fish, knowing full well who they had encountered.

… That didn't mean that the abyss couldn't peer at you on its own volition from time to time.

Several fissures in reality had been made before Naruto used Law. Meaning, Naruto had had more than a few unintended observers at the worst possible time.

Word was going to get out, whether he liked it or not.

The Family had a new Law user in its ranks. One that was far, FAR younger than the average practitioner.

In this world.

Looks like his break was going to end earlier than planned.

What a mess.

o. o. o.

"Is this better Naruto?"

"Mmm. Yeah. A bit."

Shikamaru sighed, half in exasperation, half in amusement as he saw Hinata give Naruto a lap pillow while Waltz and Sylvia worked on him. "I thought all you could feel was pain."

"Still true. But this way I'm not feeling my skull nearly rupture through my veins every time my heart beats." Naruto smiled wryly. "Thanks Hinata."

"Is it ok if I try and stabilize the chakra pathways and bloodflow in his head?" Hinata asked Waltz.

"Go for it. Most of the damage I'm dealing with is spiritual and conceptual. We can leave the physical problems for later. Too late for his mind though."

"Love you too old man." Naruto wasn't complaining. The more shot his body was in, the longer he'd be able to sleep. Thus, the more bullshit he could sleep through and let everyone else deal with.

"Hmhm. Well if we didn't need any more proof that you're Ghost's student…" Sylvia chuckled softly, speaking with a coy tone that told him that she knew exactly what he had been planning.

"Fucking broken high tier God classes."

"It does have its perks." She winked before pulling her hands from his stomach and standing up.

"You got her?" Minato asked, clearly worried about his wife.

"I've isolated the spirit into her own personal ward, but there's so much rampant energy inside the boy that a bit of excess power might be mixed in as well. Fortunately, her spirit seems to have a high compatibility with these energies, so she should be able to acclimate and make these dregs her own in time."

"In time." Kakashi did not miss the caveat in her statement.

"In time," Sylvia repeated her vague statement. "Until then, it would be best not to agitate her while she adapts. As for the rest of the power that your friend has amassed recently, I had to make some modifications to the original seal structure in order for the fox to fit in. It will be a bit uncomfortable for all parties, but since the host will be no doubt unconscious for a while, he'll be able to miss the worst of it."

It was very fortunate that Naruto knew the Seventh Sense. The constant output of chakra he emitted, even now, would serve as a very convenient pressure leak while his body adapted and made the process easier.

"Can the fox move in now?" Sasuke looked up at the monster in question. "I couldn't care either way, but…"

Everyone turned to see where he was looking.

"DIE!"

"Eeeee!"

Crunch!

"GET OFF!"

"Never!"

Crunch!

Above them, they all had the wondrous view of Kurama futilely trying to bite Shadow into oblivion as the latter had one of his tails in a bear hug.

"Fuzzies!

Crunch!

"You know, I think he might actually start stripping the fur off of his tail at this rate," Ino noted absently, causing everyone around her to nod in agreement.

"Kurama. Stop trying to eat Shadow. It's not healthy. You don't know where she's been," Naruto half groaned half chided, as if talking to a problem child that wouldn't listen.

On the plus side, the overwhelmingly bizarre sight of the Fox freaking out over someone more or less molesting his tail was gradually reducing the Biju induced shock and fear factor that had been smothering the local populace for the past fifteen minutes.

"… Just like all those other times." Shikamaru looked back down at Naruto, recalling the events where his friend had obtained several demonic traits, or was being trained by competent people. The Oogakari countered potential mass panic with an even greater display of almost harmless stupidity that humanized the topic in question to the point that it was barely worth worrying about.

It really was their modus operandi. Instead of refuge in audacity, the approach was more refuge in stupidity… no, that wasn't it either.

There wasn't any refuge or hiding the issue in the slightest. It was simply making the subject in question so overwhelmingly stupid and easy to understand that no one would question it much and everyone would completely disregard it by the end of the day.

The Nara shook his head. He didn't know whether to marvel at just how well such a conceptually simple plan worked, or lament just how overwhelmingly simple the masses were.

And yet…

"Glad to see she hasn't lost all of her old habits."

Shikamaru stopped himself from jumping at the last moment as Sylvia spoke from right next to him. He hadn't detected her moving at all, and yet there she was, within arm's reach. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't immediately on guard, but he'd also be lying if he said that being on guard would amount to anything if she decided to do something to him.

"You would know." He warily replied. "From what I've been told, you two have a bit of history."

"And how much were you told?" She asked casually, as if holding a normal, completely harmless conversation.

"Not much." He admitted. "But enough to know that you fucked up in a way that even these guys wouldn't try to match."

"Hmhm. That's definitely one way of putting it." There was a tinge of sadness in her tone. "What happened was not intentional, but, it would be a lie to say I was ignorant of the warnings that led up to what transpired. I've learned the hard way that blind faith, no matter how genuine, has caused the worst disasters that any sentient life ever produced."

"Never question humanity's potential for stupid." He looked up at where Kurama was still trying to render Shadow into a meat paste. "… She's watching us."

The point of origin encompasses all, waiting to start anew…

"I know. She's marvelously protective of you. I haven't seen her like that in a very long time." Sylvia smiled.

He turned to her warily. "What do you want?"

"Just some reassurance." She shrugged. "I know better than to ask how you did it, but… does she know how you did it?"

That, was a loaded question, in so many different ways.

He gave her a scrutinizing stare, trying to read anything from her body language that might betray her thoughts or motives, but it was all in vain. Not because she didn't show any signs, but because she seemed to display too many conflicting ones, as if even her body couldn't tell what she was thinking at the moment.

"You, really do care about her." It was both a probe and a statement.

"We've had too intimate of a history not to share intense feelings for one another." She paused and grimaced, as if regretting her choice of words.

"I bet." He sighed. Today was a complete mess, and it felt like it was only going to get worse. "Troublesome. Yeah. She knows. Can you tone down the ambiguity now? If you push things any more than you have, I'm afraid Sensei actually will do something rash even by her standards."

"Hmhm." Sylvia chuckled with mixed amusement and relief. As if receiving a command, she began to fade from his view and senses. "You certainly are an odd one. But then maybe that's what Shadow needed. My thanks for humoring me."

"I'm not exactly in a position to refuse requests from individuals of your level you know." Politeness. Proper conduct. Manners. In the world of politics, they were all used to hide one's intentions and aspirations… but in the world of the strong, those things really were all that prevented everything from going up in flames in a moment's notice. The fate of the planet being destroyed on the whims of individuals whose final motivation in the matter was whether or not obliterating whatever was annoying them at the time was worth the annoying fallout that ensued afterwards.

"You'd be surprised just how much weight you have now, young deer." The woman faded from view.

He held back a grimace. He knew better than to disregard the unspoken warning.

".. aru. Shikamaru. You there?" He was jolted out of his thoughts by Chouji patting him on the back. "Something wrong? You were spacing out for a bit."

The shadow user looked around, digested the confused looks he was getting, and then turned to Naruto with dirty glare. "I think I'm starting to finally get what it's like to be in your shoes Naruto."

"I'd give you a pamphlet and an intro guide, but I'm too busy enjoying your misery."

Big talk coming from someone that was so beaten and exhausted that everyone could tell that he couldn't even see anything even if his eyes were open. If it wasn't for Waltz keeping Naruto awake, there was little doubt that the blonde would have probably passed out instantly.

They didn't notice. Even with Presence, not a single one of his friends noticed the conversation he just had, save for Waltz, Shadow, and maybe Naruto.

… Troublesome. There was a chill running down his spine, shouting that something annoying and messed up with no warning was going to happen in the near future. He'd have to keep his eyes open and up his training.

His musings were cut short as he saw Tsunade stand up from the corner of his eye alongside Shizune.

"I've done all I can here." The Hokage used a cloth to clean her hands of the Tsuchikage's blood while addressing Kurotsuchi and Roshi. "He's stabilized, but not out of trouble yet. We got to him quickly, but the shock, poison, and loss of blood did not do his old body any good. The fact that we don't have his medical history on hand, while understandable, is not help either."

"But he'll live." Kurotsuchi got to the point.

"He'll live. Whether or not he'll be able to remain Tsuchikage is another thing entirely." Tsunade sighed. "As famous as I am, even I cannot regrow body parts. If you had managed to bring them back with you, I could have reattached them, but…"

"Our ANBU are well trained and paranoid." Roshi stepped in to comfort his goddaughter. "There's a chance they'd be able to find 'Noki's extras and preserve them just in case."

"Depending on how long it takes for them to get here, the Tsuchikage still might not be able to make a full recovery," Tsunade warned. "Medical ninjutsu can only do so much. Especially for those not in their prime."

Granted, Onoki's jutsu made it so that the old man rarely had to use his arms and legs in the first place, but there was little doubt that the speed and efficiency of his jutsu would likely drop once, if, he recovered.

"The people of Iwa will make due. We always have." Roshi turned around to see that the outside of the arena grounds was still littered with Shinobi and ANBU. "Skittish lot, aren't they?"

"Unlike you, they've fought the Kyubi. It's only natural that they be on guard, even after what they've seen. No, rather, maybe it's because they've seen all that that they're so confused." She shook her head, knowing full well that her long day was far from over. "I hope you both know that I can't simply leave you three here unsupervised."

Kurotsuchi looked like she wanted to say something smart, but held her tongue and breathed deeply to calm herself. "Considering what just happened, I agree that it would be for the best if we were placed under your care, Hokage-sama. I believe that we both have questions that need to be answered. As it stands, if what you said is true, then all five nations are aware that Iwagakure is in Konoha's debt. To do anything now would just put our village in a position that it simply can't afford."

"You will be under constant surveillance, however so long as you behave, you will be accommodated as per your stations and not as prisoners." Her unspoken threat was heard as loud as day and accepted in its entirety.

With what appeared to be a casual wave, but consisted of several key gestures and commands, the Hokage beckoned several squads of ANBU to her in an instant, one with several medical appliances and a stretcher. "The shinobi from Iwagakure are to be treated as high priority guests. They are not to be harmed, interrogated, or confronted in any way. The Tsuchikage's health takes top priority. Make sure he lives at all costs!"

"Ma'am!" The masked elite bowed before getting to work instantly.

"Shizune."

"I'll supervise Tsuchikage-sama in any way I can." The assistant bowed before tending to her duties.

"Glad to see you're giving them the five star treatment." Jiraiya grinned wryly while limping slightly to her. "Always wondered what it was like."

"Hilarious." She gave her best friend a cursory glance. "What about you?"

"Some burns and cuts here and there. Couple of broken bones, but nothing immediate just yet." The sage shrugged, causing the toads on his shoulders to give him an annoyed glare. "Sage Mode covered most of the physical damage pretty well. Not sure about everything else though. Getting hit with, whatever the hell that Priest was packing is another story entirely. Now that the adrenaline is wearing off, my body's starting to feel out of whack in a whole slew of ways that I seriously don't like. Might want to check up on Roshi and the girl on that soon as well. They probably haven't noticed it yet."

She frowned. "That bad?"

Instead of replying, Jiraiya lifted up a hand and held it in front of her. He tried to make a few standard gestures that were part of basic shinobi dexterity training routines, but it was clearly apparent that something was amiss by the way his hands and fingers were shaking and the muscles under his skin twitched visibly in places that it really shouldn't. "I can still feel the dregs of whatever the hell he did messing with my body. It's nasty stuff Tsunade, like Biju chakra poisoning but worse. If I didn't know Presence, I don't know what shape I'd be in. I can't even imagine what Iwagakure public is going through right now."

She briefly looked over his shoulder to where Naruto was lying motionlessly on the ground. If Jiraiya was showing such severe symptoms just from his brief encounters with Hidan, then what could she expect from examining Naruto?

"Follow Shizune and tell her to give you and the rest of the Iwa shinobi a look over once she's done with Onoki. No one else is to look at you until either of us says otherwise."

He trailed her gaze back to his Godson and gave her a worried look. "I probably should be able to guess by now, but how badly was the kid hit by that freak's jutsu? If you were watching from here, you probably saw and know more than me."

"Too hard, and too many times." She grit her teeth, recalling the entirety of the fight and just how frequently the Priest had managed to sneak in attacks that would have driven most shinobi insane or crippled for life.

"Damn. Was afraid you'd say that." He clicked his tongue in annoyance. "What about you?"

"If what you said is true, then Iwagakure's going to be an absolute madhouse. I'm going to send our fastest birds over to them letting them know of the situation and two squads of medics to help with their recovery as a sign of good faith. I might use Sakura, Shizune, and Ino due to their experience with Presence. Hopefully with Roshi's and Kurotsuchi's help, we can stop a war."

"Two medic squads, isn't that a bit much? If they don't believe you and take it out on the squads, we'd be losing out on a good number of resources."

"They'll have backup. And I'll make sure to emphasize that if anything happens to my people and my gesture of good faith, Iwa will have the war that they cannot afford or win that they no doubt are fearing as we speak." Her tone left no room for argument.

Considering the state the village had been in just before he had left to aid Naruto, and the lack of the Tsuchikage, Jiraiya had to admit that Tsunade was holding all the cards right now.

"Oi." Ma spoke up with a frown. "Not to be rude, but do you kids hear that?"

"Hear?" Jiraiya was confused as he focused on his ears. "What are you talking about Ma? I don't hear… wait."

The two Sanin looked up at the Kyubi, who was no longer trying to manually turn Shadow into ground meat and instead was glaring in some seemingly random direction in the distance.

"That can't be good." Tsunade was starting to get what she assumed was the hundredth bad feeling of the day. "Oi! Kyubi! What's wrong?"

The beast didn't answer immediately, instead narrowing its eyes as if having a staring contest with something. "… I don't know if you are interested, spawn of Hashirama, but the Sharingan thief you call Danzo just tried to put me under a Genjutsu from a fair distance away from here."

It was a rather impressive feat, regardless of just what the outcome could have been. Just beyond the edge of the village walls where it met the main cliffs that bordered the village, at least two kilometers away, Danzo was standing with his bandages off and the seals on his right arm removed.

Shisui Uchiha's Mangekyou Sharningan was exposed for the first time in years.

The Unseen Roots of the Great Tree wormed forward, claiming more, taking more, usurping more…

The Hokage's face turned pale at the revelation, and the potential implications.

That idiot.

"I'm assuming that it failed?" Pa stated with a grave expression.

Kurama's expression turned to one of mixed amusement and pure malice. "Had I not grown as powerful as I am now, there was a chance that we would not be having this conversation, toad. We underestimated the thief. Not only did he steal from the Uchiha, but it appears he has some remnants of Hashirama on his person as well. It would explain why his Genjutsu was so potent even at this distance."

It was like standing in an oven that had just been turned on. The killing intent in the area was gradually spiking, making the entire environment smothering and hard to breathe in.

"However…"

As if responding to its own will instead of its owner, one of the Kyubi's tails flickered into the air above his head, rapidly gathering chakra at the tip until a familiar black ball formed, for everyone's pleasure and horror.

"Oi oi. Don't tell me he's going to unleash that thing here?!" Kakashi stepped back in alarm.

"Holy hell. I can barely breathe with that much chakra being focused, and that's supposed to be one of the smaller ones?!" Kiba shivered.

"Kyubi! Don't you dare fire that thing off here! You're still in the village!" Tsunade warned. The sudden turn of events had caught her flatfooted, and it was escalating faster than she could keep up.

"Don't worry. The fool is outside of your dwelling. The damage will be negligible." The chakra was continuing to spike to the point that people were starting to panic.

The Arbiter had made its Judgement.

"Oi. Kurama. You're doing that thing again."

And then Naruto spoke, or rather, he groaned with annoyance. By all means, his voice should not have been capable of spanning the distance to the Biju's ears, however their connection was one that enabled them to achieve feats that went beyond the usual laws of physics and logic.

"?"

For a moment, the fox stopped and glanced down at his host. For a moment, everyone started to relax.

But The Lord of The Chaotic Heavens was the one that dictated the punishment.

And then, without warning or buildup, a surge of wind chakra from the atmosphere above and around the stadium swirled, focusing around the bijudama until a familiar humming and four recognizable blades spun around it.

"Naruto, please tell me you didn't do what I know you just did," Sakura half begged.

"He did." Sasuke's eye was twitching furiously. As a shinobi, he knew that lying to oneself and others was part of the job description, but that still didn't change the fact that Naruto was by far the greatest reason behind his friends developing the bad habit.

Naruto ignored the looks he got. Mostly because he couldn't see anything. The only thing he could do now was listen, speak, and control the air and chakra around his body at will. "How many times do I have to keep telling you? Your chakra's too explosive to use in urban areas. If you're going for small ranged targets, use my chakra, not yours. Dumbass."

"Heh. Hehahaha." The beast chuckled with a dark and satisfied grin, filled with malice and satisfaction.

His tail, tipped with a biju powered rasenshuriken, then pointed itself straight in Danzo's direction. An instant later, the disk's rotation increased to the point that the high pitch it made could barely be heard by human ears anymore.

"Sorry. My mistake."

The Arbiter carried out the Lord's demand without question.

The column of raw power as wide as a small house was unleashed took the form of a perfectly self-contained and ever extending black whirlwind. An eldritch column that obliterated everything in its path, but did not stray from said goal, nor kick up any storm or disturbance outside of it. The continuous bombardment of demonic wind howled over Konoha harmlessly, straight to where Danzo was standing with mismatched eyes.

And the Rotting Roots were plowed by the Heavens.

Moments later, it impaled the cliffs not with an explosion, but with an earthy and loud gouge that tore up the landscape behind it.

"Yesss. That's it. No mercy." Naruto hissed quietly with strained sadistic satisfaction. That would show the cliff who's boss.

With a frustrated growl, the beast's tail turned ever so slightly, trailing the path that the former elder of Konoha had made in his escape, thankfully away from the village.

For seconds that dragged on for hours, the contained storm mutilated and carved out swaths of stone from the cliffs outside the city proper as easily as a hot knife through butter, until finally the disk ran out of chakra to sustain itself.

"Mmm." Judging from the dissatisfied gleam in the Fox's eyes, he had not killed Danzo, or rather, something prevented him from killing the man.

"Don't tell me you missed." Naruto was the only non-immortal there that wasn't too terrified to speak at the moment.

"No, I got him. He died without question, but, he came back a few moments afterwards." Kurama noted, much to the confusion of most people listening. "It appears he has a rather annoying jutsu in his arsenal. Fitting for a coward. I can't tell from here what it was exactly. Causality reversal. Temporal correction. Reality contortion. Existential backup. Something that results in a full physical recovery that bypassed biological means at the cost of a bit of chakra, but executed crudely. Nothing as annoying as the ridiculous regeneration factor that the Priest possessed though."

Whatever it was that people expected the Fox to say, it certainly wasn't something as complex and convoluted as that with barely a care in the world.

"So he got away," Naruto concluded.

"Mmm. I doubt he will be returning anytime soon though." He looked down at Tsunade. "I hope you aren't foolish as to assume that he will be cooperative."

The accused crossed her arms and glared back without fear. "I ordered my men to take him into custody hours ago fox."

"That explains why he's still up and about then."

"What was that?"

Kurama ignored her and turned his attention to Waltz. "Old one. Are you done yet? Dealing with these monkeys is giving me a headache."

The old man glanced up at the fox with a wry expression. "Nearly, enough so that you and Minato can return. I examined the seal. With the extra chakra in there, it will be a bit of a tight fit, but you should be able to manage until things even out."

"I'll make due. Naruto isn't the only one that needs to recover from today's events." Slowly, the fox's body began to turn blurry and transparent. As if he was being deflated, he began to shrink into Naruto's stomach. "Honestly, that brat. Taking on Kaguya and a Priest harboring a God's essence at the same time with his potential sealed off. And here we thought things were going to get less ridiculous once we returned."

"That bad eh?" Jiraiya smirked bitterly. "Well, look on the bright side. After all that you lot did today, you can check off pretty much off of the biggest marks on your to do list."

Nagato. The statue. The bulk of Akatsuki if one counted the fact that Itachi and Konan were more or less guaranteed to have swapped sides. Hell, even "Tobi's" Mangekyou Sharingan was taken out of the picture.

"Hmm. I wonder if it will really be that simple. You humans do have a marvelous history of screwing up good things…"

Apparently the fox wasn't too optimistic. Before anyone could ask what he meant by that though, his body had once more integrated and submersed itself into the seal on Naruto's stomach.

"So, Danzo's on the run, knows Presence, and the Fox just let loose an attack over the village for everyone to see, which is going to cause mass panic." Tsunade groaned.

"Don't forget the fact that the kid clearly helped the fox with the latter in front of everyone." Jiraiya joined her. "Come to think of it. Oi brat! I thought you were too beat to fight anymore!"

"Just because I can't move my arms and legs doesn't excuse me from being able to protect myself." Naruto replied firmly. "… Is what Ero-Nii said after breaking my arms and legs, and then throwing me into a pit of demons in the middle of mating season. You'd be surprised just how effective fearing for your butthole can be as motivation to get things done."

"I... I just... why can I picture that happening so easily?" Ino cried more to herself than anyone else. "Why?"

"Because of Ghost, Ino. Because of Ghost." Chouji patted her solemnly on the back.

Hinata's face was frozen in a peaceful smile that was anything but. How dare Ghost abuse that which was clearly hers?

Naruto's butthole clenched unconsciously.

"To be fair, by the time that happened, I was strong enough to only need to go through that hell two or three times before I got the hang of it. Having huge reserves and the Seventh Sense on hand really made things easier." Naruto absently mused. "I tried to do the same thing to him, but when I finally managed to throw him into the pit, all the demons just ran away. Pussies."

"They probably knew better." Everyone there deadpanned.

"Not going to lie though guys, it was useful. There's a lot of assholes out there that like kicking you when you're down." Naruto grimaced. "Or worse. Monologue when you're down. Evil bastards."

"… Heh. Heheh." Much to everyone's surprise, it was Sasuke that was the first to start laughing again. Holding a hand to his head and cradling it, his eyes were hidden during the entire display of bitter amusement. "You seriously… hey, Naruto. You mind if I take a raincheck on our spar? I don't, I'm not up to par just yet. Fighting you now, it would just disappoint both of us."

Naruto smiled weakly, understanding exactly what his best friend was feeling. After all, he had spent the entirety of the first timeline in that same exact place. Playing catchup absolutely sucked. "Take as much time as you need Sasuke. If you haven't noticed, I'm not going anywhere. Not without outside help at least."

"Speaking of which." Waltz stood up and took his hands off of the patient. "It's not a perfect job, but it's far better than what you started with. You can go to the hospital now. If you have anything to say, better get it over with now. Trust me, you're going deep under the second I let you. No meds needed for this trip."

"Pity. I was starting to like the acid trips." Naruto mustered up as much sarcasm as he could, but it wasn't that much. Even that seemed to escape his body with a deep sigh. "Guys? Sorry for the headache this time. This, really was a clusterfuck. Not sure I would have brought you even if I had more time to prepare."

"No apologies needed buddy." Kiba smiled weakly. "Not sure we would have been able to do much regardless once you started pulling out the stops. Either we'd get stuck in the middle of that three way mess that warped reality, or we'd likely get accidentally stuck in that asshole's torture seal."

"Coming from the guy who was bragging that he had a jutsu that could overpower Naruto's strongest attacks." Shino droned evenly.

"No shit? Kiba you dog." Naruto seemed genuinely impressed and not at all challenged by the claim. "Man that sucks. You seem to get left out of everything lately."

"Considering what just happened, I consider that a good thing and am more than willing to get a second opinion." The Inuzuka laughed. "Not ashamed of that either. From what I've heard, sanity is all the rage these days."

"Bah. That's just what the competition wants you to think. Don't bother with that defective crap."

"Kiba, stop encouraging him." Sakura ordered firmly before turning back to her teammate. "Naruto you… we all got stronger over the years. Much stronger than we have any right to be, but seeing you go all out like that, showing us just how far you've gotten really gave us a harsh reality check, you know? Not just you, but what others can do, can be like…"

"She's trying to say thanks, dumbass." Sasuke cut her off with a faint smile. "For being the overwhelming bastard that we didn't know we needed, and for setting the bar for us."

"I'd recommend aiming lower. Falling from my height sucks." At face value it sounded like he was just cracking another joke, but those that knew him could tell that he was genuinely serious. Reaching the level he had achieved had steep consequences that not many could handle.

"Yeah. We noticed you clearly landed on your head." Tenten shook hers with a wry smile.

"That, and…" Naruto trailed off, as if debating about what the right thing to say was. "That, and the view isn't as great as you'd think."

There was a sober silence as they digested his words. Among their group, it always felt like Naruto was the first to see and know what the world was like from a different perspective. From the position of the strong. From the position of the well connected. From the position of someone that could actually do something about the problems at hand.

From the position of someone that has seen too much.

Naruto flinched as a hand rested on his forehead. He couldn't see it, but he could tell that Hinata was leaning over him, smiling gently.

"Then we'll just have to meet you up there to make it a bit better, won't we?"

He couldn't help but laugh weakly. He had chakra in spades, but his body had long since been void of energy. "Come on Hinata. Don't be like that. Even I'm not that big of an asshole to ask that of you guys."

"Apparently not." Sasuke smirked. "But some of us are stubborn and vindictive enough to do it anyways just to piss you off."

"Hahahaha." Waltz laughed, standing to the side of everyone there. "You have some very good friends Naruto."

"Yeah. I do." Naruto smiled faintly. "… Hey guys?"

"Yes Naruto?" Hinata replied for everyone.

"Sai's dead."

The same bitter smile was on every face around him.

"Yeah. We, we saw." Ino relented with tears in her eyes, being one of the artist's closest friends. "Don't worry Naruto. We blame you for a lot of stuff, but that, it wasn't your fault. Sai would say the same."

Ino was joined by nods and murmurs of agreement.

"Thanks." Naruto sighed deeply, clearly glad that at least that was off his chest. "Hey old man? Can I sleep? I'm really beat."

"Sure Naruto. Rest as much as you want." Waltz lifted his hand and gently releasing the power he had over the young man's body.

"Hey Naruto? I forgot to tell you something." Hinata smiled gently as her boyfriend's consciousness faded away. "Welcome home."

"Ah. That's right." His eyes closed. "I'm… home."

Nobody bothered to say anything to that. They could tell that he had already passed out before he even stopped speaking.

o. o. o.

"Haaa. No matter how many times I see it, I can't help but be impressed and annoyed."

"Gramps?" Specks turned to Dima.

The old man glanced down at his grandson with an unreadable expression before looking back at where Naruto was being escorted by his friends to the hospital. "Take a good look at them. They're children, the lot of them, barely stuck their toes in to our game, but look how dedicated they are to that friend of theirs. Tell me right now with a straight face that they aren't willing to commit genocide for the boy."

The well-dressed man hesitated for just a moment before doing just that, turning his gaze down on the group…

… And flinching as each and every one of them immediately turned their attention onto him, their Presences and killing intent flaring to various degrees.

"Damn. Even if they are trained, that's some reaction," Skyler whistled, crossing his arms and leaning back.

"Take the show as a lesson boys. You're seeing first hand why even the lower level Family members are treated with caution and respect, and are considered some of the strongest Presence users out there." Dima warned. "It's not simply a matter of knowing and being in contact with the Sky Mother's entourage. Each and every person that's accepted into the fold is akin to a king in their own right. Each is a master in their own field, their own madness. Each holds sovereignty that is unquestioned that makes sense only to themselves. Those that hold territory are acknowledged and endeared not simply by their subjects, but by the land itself. Even the five siblings cannot and do not attempt to pervert this rule."

"So when you mean that this place is Family territory…" Skyler slowly reasoned.

Dima glanced down at Naruto just before he was taken out of sight. "It's his. Not those idiots'. The truth, is that he's already been accepted by them as a member. His house. His rules."

"Sure doesn't look like it." Skyler glanced at Waltz, and shivered. Even if the old man didn't physically respond, he could immediately tell that the overpowered geezer was now paying attention to him. "Those monsters do what they want, when they want. I don't see anything here that could possibly reign them in."

"Never said they tended to follow all the rules. Even so, the same could be said for that boy's followers to extent. The authority that they will cultivate and employ to support him is only matched by the person himself. His madness is theirs, and theirs his. The strength to commit to a friend and the shameless conviction to knowingly spit at a God in person without hesitation. This is not the first time I've seen it, and won't be the last."

There was a common saying among their reality jumpers: "You don't fuck with the Family."

For those in the know, it was followed by the less common saying: "Because not even the Gods can handle a full Family Orgy."

And boy oh boy did they like their sex.

Specks frowned, already seeing an issue with his grandfather's statement. "But, you said you're Family too. So why are you still trying to kill Ghost?"

None of the three men bothered to notice the ANBU pretending not to listen to every word that they were saying. Or react to Dima laughing at the question.

"Hahaha. Child, you haven't figured it out yet? Everyone wants to kill that infuriating man, because he intended it that way."

"Wait, you mean…"

Dima smiled wistfully, lost in bitter and better memories. Back when he was younger and didn't know better. Back when he had first met Shadow. Back before he didn't know nearly as much as he should, and even less than what he needed.

"Nobody has been able to kill Ghost for a very long time. And I assure you, it was not due to a lack of effort."

He remembered standing in front of a firestorm of black, in front of a man who stared at him with stitched eyes and an expression of genuine bitter acceptance.

He remembered channeling and weaving literally the light of a thousand suns, a thousand galaxies, into a destructive force that immolated reality and warped time itself in an effort to obliterate the monster that destroyed his home, his parents, his universe…

He remembered the sincere apology he heard just before passing out after all his efforts were rendered less than imaginary.

Trying to kill a God… maybe it really should be considered a Family tradition.

"No. Definitely not due to a lack of effort."

o. o. o.

Taruho looked at Shion with concern. He had half expected his charge to rush into the arena with the rest of the other Shinobi the second that Uzumaki had appeared, but she had held herself back with an expression that even he could not decipher despite being with her all her life.

"Shion-sama…"

"I'd just be in the way right now Taruho." The priestess all but whispered, gripping the railings tightly.

She had wanted to help. She had wanted to make things better. But in the end, she had nearly killed the one person that she had already dedicated herself to.

She thought she had gotten over her guilt and feelings of helplessness, but, she realized that was just a misconception. She was stronger now, and more confident, but only because she had loaded all of her faith not on the people, but on Naruto. And she had nearly killed him because of it.

She needed to be stronger if she wanted to… to…? Release him? Release herself?

What did she need to do to help someone like that? Against monsters like that?

"You're over thinking things kid."

"What? Who-?" She turned around, and saw… the beginning.

A human, no, an entity whose very existence seemed to scream to her that "all things came from this point."

"You're Shadow Oogakari." Taruho took a wary stance to protect Shion, even if he knew instinctively that he wouldn't be able to do anything.

Shadow leaned forward and gently patted Shion on the head. "Calm down. You're on the verge of having a panic attack. Any answer you come to in your current state would hurt more than help. Besides, if you say that this whole show is your fault because of that trick of yours, then you might as well blame us for it as well."

"… Us?" The unusual statement had momentarily distracted her, giving her a focus on something that was not herself. "What do you mean? How is this your fault?"

The woman smiled sweetly and gently rested her hand on the teen's head, as if reassuring her.

And then Shion saw it.

Beyond the arena.

Beyond the world.

Beyond space.

Time itself.

No, rather, the time she had left. The time she had witnessed. The time that was already falling apart, decaying into endless motes of potential and possibility. Land. People, and all.

The time that had been abandoned by the Oogakari, who she could tell were watching her from the same perspective she was in now.

"You… you knew." She shivered at the sheer impossibility of what she was seeing. "No, not just that, you…"

"We let you go back." Shadow whispered in the folds of the Kaleidoscope. "We've been letting you do it since the beginning. A bit of warning next time, Time travel tends to get real nasty and complicated whenever monsters like us are around. We tend to bind reality together, preventing the standard perpetual splitup of potential causality that you like to work to your advantage. It's easy for us to deal with when you're making small changes, but changing anything big might cause your spirit to lose your footing during your trips, metaphorically speaking."

Shion didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything.

The immortal crooned, as if chiding a small child. "Don't worry. We're not heartless. You did what you could to help the minion. We let you go ahead because things would have been drawn out and boring otherwise. Everybody wins."

The half hysterical population of Iwagakure, the dead and mutilated victims of Akatsuki and Sai said otherwise.

"Don't worry. You're not in trouble. The idea of going back, your intentions, what happened in the previous timeline, that was all natural. Your will and mind were your own. At best, you can consider what we've been doing with you as… screening your jumps."

"Are you a God?" The terrified words whispered out of her mouth before the idea of even speaking came to her. Even after asking, she was petrified of what the answer would be.

"A God? Hmhm. No. Sorry. The only legitimate God around at the moment is the squeaky purse on my shoulder. We're, something else. But, we do occasionally do the same jobs once in a while. It's less fun than it sounds."

"… What happens to me now then?"

"Nothing. As scary as this all seems, you haven't done anything wrong, and we have no interest in doing anything to you. Once you recover, you're free to do what you want just as always. Flirt with the kid. Play politics. Go nuts. We won't mind. This though, what you and me are doing right now? It's more of a friendly warning. A caution. Make sure that you're more careful what you try to change from now on. Ok? We're no longer the only ones watching things here."

Shion swallowed heavily as the universe that no longer was faded from view.

"If you get too greedy…"

"Shion-sama?" Taruho asked confused, as if Shadow had never been there to begin with. "Is something wrong?"

"Someone that might be greedier that isn't on your side might step in and take advantage of it."

o. o. o.

"Well… this isn't exactly how I expected things to go, but that's him." Sitting in the audience, a shinobi with the Kusa headband leaned back in his chair, trying to digest what he had just witnessed.

He and his student had gone through the proper channels, signed the according paperwork, and had originally been planning to meet with the Hokage a few days from now.

Next to him, Karin Uzumaki was still seemingly paralyzed with her mouth unable to close.

Kuma couldn't blame her. "That's your cousin."

o. o. o.

The second he felt the odd distortion around his office vanish, Gaara turned to Temari. "Get to Konoha as fast as you can. Find out what happened and support them as best you can. Now."

It took his sister a few moments to realize that not only was the events that had been playing out for them finally ended, but that Gaara was giving out orders.

"R-right." She began to move and prepare for the mission. With her customized War Fan Ramidreju, she could make it to Konoha in a little under half a day if she pushed herself.

"Kankuro, increase and manage security at the borders to the north. There's going to be an increase in migrants and discord as the fear of the fighting and instability spreads out. Keeping the peace is a top priority. Bring several squads with medical training and non-perishable food stocks as well to support the worst case scenarios. Prepare accordingly. It will take time for anyone to reach our borders, but it is going to get worse before they get better."

Having time to actually react unlike Temari, Kankuro didn't hesitate to nod before vanishing.

"And me? I may be good, but these old bones aren't suited for travelling, Kazekage." Chiyo probed with a wry smile, but it didn't reach her hard eyes. After what she had just seen, after how Sasori had perverted the Kazekage's body even more than he already had…

"You are staying here, Chiyo-baa." Gaara turned to her. "I need your help preparing the council to lean in my favor before they find out what happened."

"Feh. On second thought, you sure there isn't room for two on that girl's fan?" The Puppetmaster grumbled. She was retired for a reason. Playing politics put more wrinkles on her face than being on the frontlines. "What are you aiming for anyways?"

Gaara turned and looked over the village he was dedicated to protecting. To the world beyond that he lived in and only recently realized that he didn't understand as well as he thought he did.

And for a moment, the image of a smiling blonde jackass holding out a hand to him.

"Peace."

o. o. o.

"Ao." Mei looked ominously at the other shinobi in her office.

"Ma'am."

"Get our spies to verify this. I don't care how. I want to know yesterday."

"R-Right." The man with an eyepatch bowed before quickly walking out of the room. He didn't need to ask any questions to know that she wanted to talk to Zabuza in private.

The Mizukage didn't speak when the door closed. She didn't speak for almost a whole minute afterwards.

"I thought you'd want us to go to Konoha asap." The Swordsman pondered out loud.

"What I want is to understand what the hell just happened Zabuza." Mei ground out, no longer in the mood for small talk. "What in world did we just watch?"

Zabuza frowned. "You're going to have to be more specific Mei. I'm going to be honest, there's a few bits that even Haku and I didn't completely get."

The ice user nodded in agreement. "I can make a few guesses, but we can't risk assuming anything until we ask our sources directly…"

"No." Mei cut her off firmly. "You two are not going anywhere near the leaf until I can be sure they can be trusted."

Zabuza's eyes narrowed. "Hoh. So it's like that. You're scared of the kid."

"Did you not see the same thing I did?!" She snapped, slamming her hands on the table. "This was nowhere near what he displayed during your little session in Moon, Zabuza! The boy has the means and the power to come into any Hidden Village and wipe us out before we'd be able to mount a counterattack! I don't think that even Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha posed as much of a threat to the power balance of the Elemental Nations than he does! And that isn't even touching the signs of mental instability he showed throughout this catastrophe!"

Zabuza crossed his arms. "Mei. I'm going to be blunt. If I ever came across someone with that level of power and they genuinely believed that they were sane, I'd either get as far away from them as humanly possible or find some way to kill them even sooner."

Haku nodded. "I agree. We've always known that Naruto's disposition was peculiar, however his situation more or less required for it. He, more than anyone is aware of it. No, rather, he probably knows how much his strength would disturb us more than we do. I think that's why he often tries to play the fool. Not to lower everyone's guard, but to get them to relax and remind them that he's not trying to antagonize anyone."

"And if he does? If he is ordered to attack us or another village?" Mei probed viciously.

"Then he'd have to be given a damn good reason." Zabuza held his ground. "Unless you haven't noticed, that kid doesn't have the standard shinobi mentality. He's not a dog that can be ordered around Mei. He's the sort of jackass that prefers petty squabbles and cheap laughs over picking fights and forcing others to do what he wants. If anyone tried to make him to do something he didn't like, well, I would be more worried about the idiots that thought they could get away with it, but you know I'm not above culling the incompetent."

"He's always been like that." Haku crossed her arms. "His stubbornness, that is. Even I have to admit, the way he acted in the middle there, where they were talking about how the world belongs to him… I don't know to put it, but it's like that part of him that hides behind his jokes had matured and evolved. The part of him that trained, that looked ahead, that knew what was to come. The part of him that was strong got stronger to the point that it came to some kind of realization. It's still Naruto, but…" She stalled trying to find the right words to say.

"Think of it this way Mei." Zabuza cut her off. "At some point in your life, you realized you could become Mizukage because you had gotten strong enough to tell instinctively that it was the truth. Now, the kid at some point, he's gotten strong enough to have the balls to say that the world is his. Not could be. He is strong enough that those two monsters he fought not only immediately understood what he was saying, but actually agreed with it, though they were not above fighting him for that exact same position. I have no idea what the context was, but considering what happened, it wasn't meaningless."

"You actually wouldn't mind being subject to an overpowered child that spends more time raving about noodles and causing problems for everyone than anything else?" Mei couldn't believe her ears.

The swordsman's fists tightened. "Seeing as the alternatives were apparently some crazy alien woman that tried to drain the planet dry of chakra, or the insane possessed Priest that's strong enough to take out the Kyubi, yes. I do. More so if the kid is the only person we can count on that is actually capable of getting rid of monsters like that. And unless you've forgotten, when he was with us, he didn't mention or act like he was our superior in the slightest."

The Mizukage opened her mouth momentarily before a realization hit her. "… You don't think we would have been able to handle that white woman or the priest, do you?"

Haku shifted uncomfortably. "It's hard to describe since you don't know Presence, but the second we saw those two, Zabuza and I could tell that they were too much for us. The efforts needed to take out just one of them, if it was possible, would at the very least the full resources of two villages, and that is if we are astronomically lucky."

Zabuza shook his head. "No. We'd all get wiped out. At best I would be able to give one of them a hell of a cut. Maybe stall them for a day or two, but they'd probably heal faster than we'd be able to retreat far enough to make a difference in the long run. Having Isobu gives me some additional perspective when it came to that woman. I could tell just how out gunned we were. If the kid did lose that fight… by the time anyone could manage to get some sort of alliance set, at least two, no, three of the Great Five villages would be destroyed since Iwa's already a mess. After that, it would just be a bloodbath. That woman and that Priest… once they'd get started, they wouldn't stop. Like guided natural disasters. We owe the kid, Mei. It isn't up for debate."

"And what of the Oogakari? I thought they were on our side."

"The Oogakari are on their own side." Haku sighed, knowing full well that was the truth. They are friendly for the most part, but their loyalty was to themselves. If anyone was going to "join a side", it would be the shinobi joining the Oogakari. Not the other way around.

"And it's probably a hell of a lot bigger than ours, knowing them." Zabuza muttered, giving his boss with a grave expression. "Mei. Naruto was strong enough to handle those two monsters. However, even if he was at full strength with everything in his favor, there is not a chance in hell that he, or anyone else, or an army of both, could ever handle a single one of those bastards. So if you are starting to think of some sort of plan to "deal" with them. Don't. It won't work, and I'm not going to even bother listening to it. I have seen only a fraction of what they can do, and that alone is enough to be certain that any one of them could wipe out the Five Great Nations at once if they wanted. They are literally the monsters to the monsters that we were just watching."

Mei clearly wanted to dispute this claim. "Then what do you suggest? Because I'm telling you now, I am putting the village on high alert until this makes sense, and I am not letting the only two people that do have half an idea of what's going on, the only two people that can point us in remotely the right direction, out to do who knows what."

Haku spoke up before Zabuza could. "Then only I'll go. Give me Suigetsu and Chojuro as an escort. I'll talk to everyone, learn what we missed, and where everyone is going. It's the only way that we will get the full story. The only people in Kirigakure that are in any position to learn this much are Zabuza and I. One of us has to go if we want to get anywhere."

The Mizukage glared at Master and Apprentice viciously, as if she wanted nothing more than to set them on fire. Her body language betrayed nothing else, which in itself was somewhat impressive. "… Fine. Take those two, go to Konoha, find out what you need, and then come back. No jokes. No detours. Understood?"

"Mmm." The ice user nodded. Technically, it wasn't up to her on the matter of what shenanigans took place, however she was not worried. Considering how delicate the situation was, she could easily tell Mei that any delays she encountered was the fault of heightened village security due to the matter at hand. "By your leave then."

Zabuza didn't watch her leave the room behind him. He was too busy keeping eye contact with Mei. It didn't change, even when the door closed seconds later.

"No more games Zabuza. I've been lenient with you and Haku since you first returned here years ago. Everyone has their secrets, but this is too much. You're not leaving this room until you tell me everything."

The larger of the two crossed his arms and closed his eyes. He let out a tired sigh, something he wouldn't normally do, but this case was worth the exception. "… I'm going to give you the short version first just to give you a fair warning of how fucked up the long one is."

"Zabuza…" Mei's temper was reaching its limit.

"Extradimensional God killing travelers. Timetravel. Altering history. Actual Gods. And then, apparently, more Gods. In that order." He cut her off firmly. "Haku and I being alive are part of the altered history bit."

It was only because Mei knew Zabuza so well that she didn't try to melt him into slag in her office. It was only because she knew that, even as sarcastic as he was, Zabuza would absolutely never utter such fantasy like subjects out loud without a hint of disgust or self-loathing.

She looked at him. Searched for any tell or hint that he was playing her or aiming for some sort of alternative reaction. After being with him for almost three years, she had more or less memorized all of his tells and his general body language. But even so…

"You're serious." She couldn't find a damn thing.

"There's a reason why I'd rather not tell the whole story. I have trouble believing it most of the time myself. And Haku and I were among the earlier ones involved," the swordsman grunted.

Mei didn't say anything at first, trying to digest what she was being told. She wouldn't believe any of this at face value, but then again, Zabuza was someone less likely to go with this whole charade than her. "… How were you convinced?"

He shrugged. "Too many things lined up to be a coincidence. The guys that talked to us knew too much. They were too strong. They gave us benefits. And, they had a means of letting me and Haku remember the previous "timeline". It was only around a week's worth of memories at that point, so it wasn't much. Haku and I died pretty early the previous time, but it was eventually enough for us. We checked for Genjutsu and everything, but it all checked out."

"The Land of Waves," Mei put the pieces together. "Your meeting with Kakashi."

"Mmm. The Scarecrow and the brat." He nodded to the now blank screen in her office. "They were dead set on getting us on their side. It's been annoying, but better that than being killed because of some spoiled dirty midget weakling that thinks that money makes you immortal. I've only seen more proof since then to believe that all of the crap I'm spewing."

"I can't believe that you actually believe it." The Mizukage shook her head. "Hypothetically, even if what you said is true… then does that mean that this right here, us, was that premeditated as well?"

That single question had so many different insinuations.

"Don't even go there Mei. You know damn well that as shinobi we premeditate everything we do, time travel or not. You used us as much as we used you. We both knew that. If it makes you happy though, no, time travel had nothing to do with what we have, other than the fact that I'm actually alive this time. It happened just as it did with everyone else. We saw. We liked what we saw. We fucked. We liked fucking and what came after it. Nothing about that was pre-planned as part of some sort of grand scheme, and I am personally embarrassed that you'd think that anyone would trust me with a seduction mission."

"Heh. Sorry. I forgot just how much of a reprobate you are." Mei shook her head and had to give him the argument there. Zabuza was great eye candy, but his personality was not something that was particularly attractive to most women. Not long term at least. "I guess I underestimated my effect on you."

"Don't push it."

"So how much of all of this was planned?" She got back on track, albeit she was slightly more relaxed now.

"Honestly? From what I understand, most of everything went completely off the rails during the Han incident three years ago." He shrugged. "Since then, everyone's been adapting and improvising pretty much as we went along. A few things on the side still happened like clockwork, but otherwise it's better off to treat the previous timeline as useless now."

"All the way since then, huh?" Mei leaned back in her seat and frowned in thought. "And when did this whole supposed time travel event start? Previous timeline and current?"

"The blonde brat first came back around five years ago. He was the start of it all. As for when the previous timeline ended, mmm. They didn't have a real date, but I think they estimated that he made the jump about, I wanna say around six months from now."

"So in other words, in terms of escalation, events have accelerated drastically," she summarized.

"From what I've been told, Akatsuki had snagged all the Biju by that point and they were about to extract the Kyubi from the kid. Which means that they would have eventually unleashed that white alien woman afterwards, only at full strength."

"Full strength?" Mei didn't like the sound of that.

Zabuza frowned in what looked like deep thought, but in reality was talking to Isobu. "According to the Turtle, her end game is to hoard all the chakra in the world for herself. Would have done it in record time too from the sounds of things. Makes sense considering how Naruto was ranting about that World Tree thing earlier, even if I agree that the whole thing sounds stupid. Problem is, if the kid was actually taking it seriously, he probably wasn't stretching the truth."

There was another thing that Mei couldn't refute. It was one thing to argue against a human. It was another to try and argue lost history against a Biju. Especially on a topic that wasn't even known to her outside of rumors and myth until just a few hours ago.

Haku was right. She couldn't afford to not know the full context of everything. Not if she wanted to make a decision that would affect the future of her village.

She was about to open her mouth again when a flare of chakra and a stern knocking on the door interrupted her.

"Ao?" She frowned, recognizing the signature. After everything that just happened, she expected the man to be busy for the next few hours. Even then, he should have known that she wouldn't want to be interrupted anytime soon.

With a brief seal, she unlocked the door and allowed the man to come in. Before she could even ask what the matter was, he spoke.

"You're going to want to see this."

o. o. o.

"This is."

"Whoa. This blows."

"Isn't that…?"

"Well, this isn't dull."

"Not cool."

The Raikage and those that been in his office were all standing around three bodies that had been delivered to them.

All of the corpses were in Kumogakure gear. All of the corpses had been found within the village.

All of the corpses were identical. White humanoid men with bizarre faces and hints of plant life growing from their bodies.

"They were all found inside the village?" A held back his anger, knowing full well that he had to keep his mind clear. Still didn't stop errant sparks of electricity from rolling down his frame.

"That's right." A jonin knelt in front of him. "It happened only about a half an hour ago. These three things were acting like everyone else. All of them were guards for mid-level offices around the village. From the initial reports, they looked and sounded like the shinobi they were disguised as, for how long we don't know. But at the time mentioned, at the exact same time they all started to scream and writhe in pain before losing control of themselves. Then they just, collapsed. We're getting word that there may be more cases around the village."

"Raikage-sama. These are…" Yugito started, only to get a vicious glare that cut her off moments later.

"Bee. You and I are going to have a long talk tonight," A ground out, his anger reaching a peak. It was one thing when a cataclysmic mess that could potentially affect all the elemental Nations took place without any forewarning or anytime to prepare. It was another when parts of this event leaked into his village without his knowing.

"B-Bro…" Bee shivered, knowing that it was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

"Yugito." He turned to the Nibi Jinchuriki, his massive body towering over hers. "Tell me, because I know you are more familiar with, this, than you show. Do we know enough of the situation right now to do something about it?"

She shifted uncomfortably. Even though she knew how to use Presence to an extent, she knew for a fact that the Raikage was vastly stronger than her. "… No. Raikage-sama. If what we know, is correct, then we cannot predict how the other villages will respond. That and…"

She turned to look at the white monsters on the ground. "… I highly doubt that we are the only ones that have those things. If anything, I'd put most of our focus on finding out how many those things we do have, and where they are."

"So we ignore Konoha?" His eyes flashed dangerously. As far as he was concerned, at least half of this confusing mess was explicitly on their hands.

"If the Hokage is aware that the other Kage were watching this, then I doubt that she would keep quiet." Yugito looked around, knowing that their conversation was being overheard by those that didn't know of what just happened in Iwa. "Send a team we trust there. If the Hokage doesn't share what she has, that alone should be enough to tell us all we need to know."

"Not you?" He probed, knowing that she had some connections in the village, and more importantly, with Scabbard Oogakari.

"The odds of finding out more are higher, but in this tense situation it is a risk." She submitted herself to his command, speaking only the truth. "If this has already reached the other villages, sending a Jinchuriki can be misinterpreted or taken advantage of. What we do after they come back, is up to you."

A nodded, approving of her deduction and her loyalty. The next moment, he turned to look at the shinobi that had been with him for the past few hours. "Darui. Omoi. Karui. Samui. Get prepared within the hour. You're leaving for Konoha. Find out anything and everything you can. I don't give a damn if you understand it or not. If it sounds relevant, it goes in the report."

"Sir." The addressed shinobi vanished immediately, knowing that time was of the essence.

The Raikage didn't bother with the glances he was getting from the standard grade shinobi nearby who didn't know what was going on. With a vague gesture of his hands, he was surrounded by a small squad of ANBU that were always part of his private guard during most circumstances.

"Inspect site two. If verified, execute all minor short term missions immediately if possible and return back to Kumo. Under no circumstances is the situation to be aggravated unless otherwise ordered."

The ANBU all nodded silently before vanishing without a trace.

"Talk about kicking'em when they're down. If this screws up, they aren't going ta let this go without makin a sound," Bee hummed with disapproval. He normally didn't care about other villages, let alone Iwa, and he knew an opportunity when he saw one, but even he could tell that Iwagakure was going to be a powderkeg for a while. If they were pegged with anything, it would not look good for Kumo.

"Bee. Right now, I couldn't give a flying Biju what it looks like." The Raikage turned to his brother with a mad and unreadable gleam in his eyes. "You saw what I saw. That boy, he's dangerous. That much power in a single person, no matter who, is bad for everyone. For the shinobi, for Kumo, civilians, the system itself."

Yugito didn't say anything. Her leader was right. Naruto Uzumaki was far stronger than she had anticipated. So much so that his very existence was reason enough to make some people do some very stupid things.

She didn't even want to know how A would react if he knew just how absurd the Oogakari actually were. Unfortunately, she had a bad feeling that very scenario would come to pass sooner than she'd like.

"Brother." Bee frowned. "Are you doubting me? Ya idiot?"

"Bee." A's tone clearly indicated that there was going to be a good amount of pain in his brother's future if the latter didn't get to the point quickly.

"Like ya said, we saw the same things done. But ya forgot about the clone, brotha." Bee held up his fist in a familiar gesture.

The meaning behind it escaped the Raikage for a few seconds before he realized what Bee was getting at. "You mean…"

His mind went back to possibly one of the most bizarre and honestly most terrifying parts of the entire event as far as the Raikage was concerned.

The moment when two clones appeared in his office despite their creator being all the way in Iwa, and interacted with Bee and Yugito, with their Biju.

Until recently, it was believed that only Kumogakure possessed Jinchuriki that could reliably utilize their Biju's power. And Bee was one of the handful in history that could utilize the beast's power in its entirety.

The Raikage was no Jinchuriki, but he was still intimately familiar with what it took to be one at Bee's level.

As odd as he behaved at times, there truly was no one who was a better judge of character than Killer Bee.

"Numba Nine's one hell of a fool, but he's no idiot," the Raikage's brother stated firmly. "And he just did us a major solid takin' down those two beasts beyond beasts. Calm yourself before you check yourself, or I'll have ta invoke my family rights and do it for ya, ya idiot."

This wasn't Bee giving Naruto's seal of approval. This was one of those rare moments where Bee was actually putting his foot down and calling out A. Something that happened only on the most serious of occasions, and one that Bee had never failed his duty on.

The Raikage's eyes narrowed dangerously, his temper waging war with his trust in his brother. "… I'm trusting you Bee. Don't play with me. Not on this."

"I'm no fan of the blame game bro. No need ta be so shook. Numba Nine's all fine in our books." Bee patted his brother on the shoulder. "So long as we don't try to be his enemies, we can do whatever we please, you'll see. That guy's as chill as can be. Ain't nobody tell him what to do but he… and of course, me. The almighty Bee. Whee."

The Raikage frowned, ignoring that boasting last part. "And what if he wants to move against us?"

Bee shrugged. "Doesn't take a genius to solve that riddle. If that ever happened, then we were the ones that fucked up first, and not by a little. Ya idiot. Ya fool."

Translation: don't do something that would piss him off.

He turned to the other Jinchuriki at his side. "And you? What are your thoughts on Uzumaki?"

Yugito shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know him as well as Bee, but from what I've seen, I have to agree. Naruto Uzumaki's a quandary. I guess you could compare his personality to Bee's. Money, wealth, fame, conventional vices don't interest him. I've seen him blatantly disregard the rules in his village on childish whims one moment, and the next he's being berated by shinobi that he outranks and is vastly more powerful than the next like a child half his age. What we witnessed, displayed much of the same behavior, but…"

"But?"

"… He's like Bee, but he's the sort that gets involved with and personally takes responsibility for things that most people miss." She chose her words carefully. "As a result, if he is being serious about something, odds are, it's likely to be abnormally important in one form or another."

"Hm…" A frowned, looking down at the three Zetsu corpses in front of him.

Uzumaki had ranted something about a World Tree, and these, things, were copies of that plant man in Akatsuki. Throw in the fact that Zetsu wanted to revive Kaguya using the Biju, who had been in said World Tree for seemingly centuries, and it was clear that it was more than simple coincidence that the freak had plant based powers.

If the so-called plant was so dangerous, then…

"I've been patient with our relationship with Konoha, with the Oogakari and let you keep your secrets, but no longer. You are going to tell me everything you know."

"Brother." Bee frowned, knowing that look in his sibling's eyes. The man had something in mind.

"Now."

o. o. o.

Tobi and Kakuzu stood over the puppet that Sasori had been using for a body. "Well, that could have gone better."

"Ngh." Kakuzu grunted as if strained against invisible shackles while his tentacle like appendages were busy integrating Sasori's heart.

Tobi glanced at the man with an almost amused expression from behind his broken mask, a pair of new Sharingan implanted into his head. "I don't see what you are complaining about. You're alive, aren't you? Death has always been your biggest thing to avoid, right? Other than tax collectors?"

"Everyone said, you died. Even your brother." The heart thief frowned. "How the hell are you alive, Izuna Uchiha?"

"How indeed." The younger brother of Madara Uchiha removed his mask to reveal a face nearly identical to Sasuke Uchiha's, with the left half marred with a mix of pasty white skin and melted flesh. "Aaah. How nostalgic. It's been so long since someone's called me by my original name. Just like old times, eh Kakuzu?"

"Don't give me that shit." The larger man lurched as if trying to make a move, but was stopped. "Madara may have been stronger and more famous between the two of you, but anyone with half a mind knew then that you were the real monster. Half the continent was practically celebrating when word of your death went around."

The sad truth was that if anything, Kakuzu had lowballed it.

Madara Uchiha was the pride and joy of the Uchiha clan. A military force like no other. Unstoppable to everyone save Hashirama Senju. A charismatic leader that could guide them successfully into any age.

But Izuna Uchiha… if that man could be described to anyone in today's generation, it would be the Danzo Shimura of the Uchiha clan. There had been no low he would sink to. No travesty he wouldn't commit to wipe out his enemies.

No mind he wouldn't pervert.

Shisui Uchiha was not the first of his family to possess a Sharingan capable of Kotoamatsukami after all.

His very existence was half the reason why the Senju Clan was so antagonistic towards the Uchiha during the warring states era. Not Madara's.

As twisted as it sounded to those that had not been in the know, Madara had been the rational brother. The reasonable brother.

The human brother.

"Oh trust me. I know. I can still remember my own family making toasts to my name with grins on all their faces, as if they were relieved from an unwanted burden." A twisted and deranged smile etched on Izuna's face. "It was my decision for my dear brother to claim that I was dead, to take my eyes to gain the eternal Mangekyou Sharingan after that useless tool Tobirama nearly killed me."

"Your eyes…" Kakuzu's own widened in genuine surprise as he pieced something together. "You gave your eyes to Madara on purpose. It wasn't generosity. You were controlling him. Everyone knew that you were always against any form of peace between clans." The number of clans that Izuna had razed to the ground because they did not submit was one of the biggest reasons why the Uchiha had such a terrible reputation near the end of the Warring States era.

"Please. Don't underestimate my dear older brother. Even if he had my eyes, I wouldn't be able to control that mad beast. Say what you want about me, but Madara was without question the real deal. I could never compare to him in a fight, even with my sharingan literally in his dense skull." Izuna snorted bitterly. "No. It merely allowed me to give him a few subtle whispers in the back of his head from time to time. Nowhere near enough to prevent that silly project village of his and Hashirama's to be made, but what happened after..."

"Revenge?" Kakuzu concluded.

The Uchiha shook his head in amusement. "In part. Who wouldn't be interested in a little restitution every now and then? You're from the same time as me, Kakuzu. You know how things worked back then. But no. It was for the only thing that matters, old friend. Power."

Madara fought the wars. Madara was the face of the clan. Madara was their savior.

Madara. Madara. Madara. Madara…

No one ever praised Izuna's name. They only whispered it with distain and fear, like a vile curse.

Kakuzu couldn't help but shiver at the sheer lust in Izuna's last word. "What power would have an Uchiha give their eyes up to… wait. Don't tell me…"

"Hmhm. That's right. Akatsuki. The Statue. The Biju. That was all my work. All those years of preparing, manipulating, killing…" His smile and confidence fell into a deranged scowl. "All ruined because of that ridiculous priest, that useless plant, a spoiled brat, and some woman who wouldn't stay dead."

Everything started to fall into place now. Kaguya, no, Kaguya's power had been Izuna's true goal all along.

The fact that virtually all of what he had done had been in line with Zetsu's machinations didn't matter to him in the slightest. What was a plant to the Uchiha?

"What about Pain's Rinnegan? You didn't settle for that?" Kakuzu probed.

"You mean the eyes that Uzumaki got around with nearly no effort?" A scoff echoed through the room. "I was sitting on those blasted things for decades. My body may be modified with some of Hashirama's DNA, but the full potential of the Rinnegan could only be utilized by someone with the natural chakra and constitution of a Senju or Uzumaki that comes about only once a generation or so. It would cripple anyone else the moment they got ahead of themselves. Kushina Uzumaki, the previous Jinchuriki for the Kyubi, was one such individual. It was only by pure chance that I came across Nagato, or rather Pain, as a child during the Second Shinobi War in Ame. He was with his parents getting food while I was scouting Ame to see what Hanzo was up to at the time. It didn't take much to follow him back home and set up a situation that would eventually lead him to me."

All it took was a couple of Zetsu in Konoha shinobi uniform, plus a couple of genjutsu on the young Nagato, and everything turned out swimmingly.

Or it would have if Jiriaya didn't stick his nose where it didn't belong.

Thankfully, Danzo was the sort of despot who was immensely easy to fool into believing that someone strong that he didn't know was a potential threat. The coward.

Kakuzu frowned. "Why are you, wait. Don't tell me that Pain is…"

"Oh yes. Our dear leader is dead from this fiasco as well, though I'm not too sure of the details myself." Izuna nodded, waving the ring on his thumb. "If you know how to use these things, you can learn all sorts of interesting details about the other wearers. Like where they are, or if they are still alive."

"Oh, and if you're wondering, Konan and Itachi are alive. And with one another too. Odd, although they are probably tending to Nagato's body… then again, it does make one wonder why Itachi is all the way out there to begin with. Oh well. Questions for later." He began to tick off his fingers. "Pain's dead. Deidara's dead. Zetsu's dead. Sasori's dead. Hidan is… disposed of, I suppose. Orochimaru's dead. Kisame's dead. The statue's gone, along with two Biju, the world knows about all of us, and it appears my ultimate goal was nothing more than a fool's errand from the very beginning. Haaaa. Hahaha. How embarrassing. I should have known better than to trust the ramblings of that black abomination from the start. Hahaha."

Kakuzu tried to move. He tried to make his body either escape or snap Izuna's neck as quickly as possible. But he couldn't. It had been decades, but the effects of Kotoamatsukami from the warring states era still held strong. He was still at Izuna's command. A hidden unknown ace and resource in Akatsuki.

Izuna, knowing this and ignoring his fellow completely, continued to laugh in bitter amusement and pure rage. His expression turning more and more vile and deranged as the seconds passed as he radiated murderous intent until it would have suffocated most Jonin under its weight.

From the endless black pit, the monster hidden beneath began to crawl out.

"Ahh. Between Nagato, wiping out the Uzumaki, Uchiha, and Senju clans, and obtaining a Sharingan with Kamui, I thought that things had finally gone my way. Haha. And then that blasted foreigner appeared. I knew that Zetsu was hiding something from the beginning, but who would have thought it was Kaguya herself? And Uzumaki became something that even I had not prepared for… why is it this world always seems to bow down to overpowered muscle headed idiots like my brother?"

"What are you… planning… to… to… ugh?!" Kakuzu's strained efforts to find out what hell was awaiting him fell apart, along with his body, as he collapsed on the ground and began to convulse.

Izuna's only response was to look slightly more curious at his new slave, or rather, the throbbing bulge that he had been trying to absorb. "Hooh? Well color me impressed. Looks like Sasori was the sort that would poison his own heart just to spite his killer. Maybe I should have left him alive after all."

"Hurk. Guh." Kakuzu struggled to breathe as a literal heart's worth of Sasori grade venom ran through his veins and ate away at every organ he had.

"Don't worry, old friend. We're in one of my personal bases this time. I'm sure I have something here that will stave away the end once more for you. Can't have you dying just yet. Good help appears to be harder to find than I first thought these days."

As Izuna took his time going through the endless shelves of organs, mostly Sharingan eyes harvested over the years, medicines, and other assorted body parts that he had collected over the years, he began to plan.

The Eye of the Moon plan was a bust. The Statue was gone. The main villages would be on guard soon. The Biju would be protected. Zetsu was either dead or hiding who knows where, not that he wouldn't kill the freak himself if it ever showed himself again. The world would soon be up in arms with Iwa as weakened as it was.

And worst of all, he lost the Sharingan with Kamui, a rare treasure that could be considered a crown jewel among the awakened Mangekyou Sharingan. Without it, virtually everything would be immensely more difficult to accomplish now. Without it, he was, vulnerable.

They would be looking for him now. He couldn't hide behind a mask of idiocy like before, or ambiguity. If that Uzumaki brat was half as good as he suspected, then his chakra signature would be known to at the very least the Land of Fire by the end of the month.

He couldn't wait. Well, he could, but he couldn't. Not anymore. He had spent enough time hiding. His pride wouldn't let him.

With a careless wave behind him, he threw several kunai that severed the corrupted heart that was killing Kakuzu.

The world was going to be in an uproar soon. People would be moving. People would talk.

He could work with that.

o. o. o.

Somewhere in a forest that was uncharted and unexplored near the north end of the land of Lightning, a mannequin stumbled over a rock.

It was a completely unremarkable item that one could find in any clothing store, save for the crimson cylinder in its chest.

Sasori held back a groan of frustration. How he hated using these basic bodies.

Of all the places that Tobi, or whoever he was, had to teleport him, it had to be in a spot that was nowhere near one of his emergency dead drop locations.

He was no fool. Sasori knew that Akatsuki was done for the moment he saw Hidan and Uzumaki fight that white woman and the statue was nowhere to be found. Their grand plan was no longer feasible. The only reason why he played along after that was because his compatriots were his best shot of getting out of the mess alive.

After they had teleported to the new base and Tobi had distracted himself to get some new eyes, Sasori had immediately moved his heart to one of the few spares he had left and replaced it with a dummy capsule that he had on hands just in case. After that, he used a customized jutsu he made that could make a puppet run on basic automated commands without chakra strings and got out of the hidden base as soon as he could.

It was immensely convenient that Shinobi like Kakuzu and Sasori didn't converse much to begin with. It made hiding his actions far more successful.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew that it wasn't hard to deduce what his weakness was and exploit it if a fight took too long. It was simply that most of his battles didn't last long in the first place.

The second "Sasori" tried to escape, Tobi and Kakuzu pounced quickly. Too quickly in Kakuzu's case. By that point, the real Puppetmaster was already long gone.

The puppet brushed a wooden hand against its legs, where the remains of his arsenal were stored in two scrolls. It was enough to get by for now, but he would have to move to a human puppet soon, if only so he could channel his chakra efficiently again. As it stood, he wouldn't stand much of a fight against a Special Jonin that knew what they were doing.

He couldn't do it now though. He was still too close to that self-destructing fool Tobi, or whatever his name was. He couldn't care less anymore. All that mattered was that the man had the Sharingan, and thus any major actions that used chakra would give himself away instantly.

His body was gone. The Third's body was gone. Half of his work was destroyed or left behind as proof that he had "died" in the base. And the world would be out for his puppet head soon, especially after that last cheap shot that hopefully killed the Tsuchikage.

At the very least, he could claim at the end that he had been responsible for the deaths of two acting Kage. Not many could boast that.

He hated being patient, but he would have to compromise for now. First get to safety. Then move to a more suitable body and get more tools.

Then he'd hide and wait it out while Tobi got himself killed doing whatever it was he wanted.

o. o. o.

"So we are in agreement." Itachi walked alongside Konan as they made the long way back to Amekagure.

The paper user nodded, albeit after a moment. It was clear she was still distracted and in a daze from what she had learned and what had just transpired. Not that anyone could blame her. It didn't take a shinobi to notice that her eyes would trail to the side where the wrapped and preserved body of Nagato was hovering right next to her.

When "Tobi" showed himself and explained the situation, unless something significant dictated otherwise, the bastard would die. One way or another.

Both of them were too tired of being led around by the ambiguous plans of others all their lives to deal with being ordered about by the monster that started this mess in the first place. Not when they could see the end of all their hardships just ahead of them…

o. o. o.

"Well?"

Kabuto's eyes opened as his consciousness returned to his body. The screen in front of him had already turned blank, save for the cartoon caricatures of the Oogakari maiming one another in childish and violent ways. "I could ask all of you the same thing. All things considered, my input should be saved for last to keep things in context, no?"

There was a ripple of discontent power behind him, but he didn't pay it much mind.

"Calm down, he's right," a third voice chided almost amusingly.

"Thank you." Kabuto didn't look around, his eyes staring off into space as his mind worked on a puzzle whose intended goal he didn't even know yet. "Now, tell you tell me your thoughts on Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Strong. Childish. Resourceful. Difficult to comprehend…" The first voice grunted irritably. "Like someone I know."

"Experienced. Frustrated." The second took things in stride. "Knowledgeable. Not very patient, but wise enough to prioritize and know when to change said priorities even under extreme and abnormal conditions."

"Feh."

"Don't give me that. You saw what happened. Can you say you would have done better in that situation given what we just learned?"

The second voice remained petulantly silent.

"Seems like Naruto's already grown on you two." Kabuto's lips twitched upwards for a moment. "Tell me, does he seem like a trustworthy person to you? Someone that would like about the things that would matter in the long run?"

"No." The first voice answered immediately. "A boy, no, a person like that is the sort that has priorities and keeps the endgame in mind at all times. He's sharper than he lets on. Someone that can be trusted to speak the truth, but simultaneously one that you can't let your guard down around if you aren't explicitly on his side."

"Mmm." The latter agreed.

"However unlike this idiot next to me, the boy is the sort that is always planning something, that or keeping an eye out for something specific."

"… Oi. Are you calling me an idiot?"

"Case and point."

"Come on. Aren't we past this by now?"

"So." Kabuto interrupted, raising his voice to stop them before they got ahead of themselves. "If that childish idiot told you that during his travels, he frequently came across and sparred with entities that could beat him easily at full power, complete with the Kyubi's chakra and Sage mode, so thoroughly that he isn't even ashamed to admit his weakness, what would you think?"

The room was ominously silent.

Without disturbing the mute world around them, the Edo Tensei of Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju stepped forward.

"The boy truly said that?" Madara was completely unreadable.

"Mmm." Kabuto nodded.

"Madara. He, Naruto is already roughly as strong as we were in our prime. And that's without the Kyubi or Sage Mode. Maybe not as experienced in some areas, but still… if that's the case…" Hashirama glanced at his rival with concern, the only one showing his true thoughts on his face.

"Then not only are we potentially in great danger, but we are woefully under-informed and ill-equipped to deal with the matter as well." Kabuto surmised, glancing back at Madara. "As great as your qualms with Konoha may be, I somehow doubt that even you would be willing to submit the greater population as a whole to anyone of these supposed super monsters."

"… Did the Uzumaki appear worried about the matter?" No one bothered to call out or challenge Madara's change in topic.

The Scientist shook his head. "No. He seemed, resigned if anything. Clearly there is more going on behind the scenes than we know, but the fact still stands that there are forces out there that even our most powerful cannot even consider standing up against. At least as things stand now."

"Like those Oogakari people?" Hashirama surmised.

"I wouldn't doubt it, but I believe that Naruto was talking about other individuals entirely when we spoke." He had been around the blonde long enough to read between the lines. Normally, whenever Naruto spoke about the clan of insane degenerates, it was accompanied by annoyance, complaints, and liberal insults. There had been none of that in his answer.

"If they were anything like Kaguya or that Priest… if even a couple came to the Elemental Nations without any warning, the damages could be astronomical." The former kage frowned, already picturing the damages that could be done in a more populated location. It was a cruel blessing that Hidan needed his victims alive to exploit them for more power. "That is what you were getting at, right?"

"Among other things, Shodaime-sama." The scientist smiled wryly again. "But then, that begets the question, what can or should we do about it?"

"Nothing." Madara's answer came far faster than the other two expected.

"Nothing?" Hashirama blinked in genuine astonishment. "You want to do nothing?"

"You sound surprised." Kabuto was curious at both of their reactions.

"Madara's the most proactive anal attentive person you'd ever meet next to Tobirama!" Hashirama pointed accusingly at his rival, who gave him the stink eye. "He was obsessive about everything when we were kids! A total perfectionist! It was so annoying! He'd nitpick about everything! It was even worse when we were setting up Konoha! I swear he went over the entire village with his Sharingan active to make sure that the branches were pointing in the right direction!"

"I don't want to hear it from the idiot that was sleeping on the first day on the job. You barely made it through the inauguration ceremony."

Kabuto snickered. "As much as I'd love to hear more about how inept the first Hokage was in life, I too would like to know more about your reasoning, Madara Uchiha."

"Humph. It's simple. Uzumaki's the honest fool sort, like Hashirama here."

"Oi."

"Only the boy seems to be more aware and proactive than he lets on. Like we said, he prioritizes extensively," he continued. "From what we just saw and you told us, there are monsters out there that are beyond our ability to handle. But despite knowing this longer than the rest of us, Uzumaki does not appear to believe it is an immediate problem that needs addressing yet."

"Or…" Hashirama added. "He does not believe that it is an issue that the people on hand can handle, and thus does not bother informing them of it, at least yet. Which begs the question, who or what does he believe is handling said problem? And are they already in the process of doing so?"

"So we should wait and see what happens. Or more importantly, what Naruto's plan for addressing this issue will be." Kabuto nodded. "As it stands, he is the most knowledgeable person we have about the issue in question. If he is confident enough to let the subject drop for now, then far be it for us to interfere with his plans. For now at least."

"Hoh? And where does this confidence come from?" Madara looked at Kabuto curiously. "You are not the sort that throws his faith in others unquestionably."

The tags that controlled his and Hashirama's every action that were embedded into their skulls were evident of that.

The scientist laughed lightly and finally stood up. "You are correct. I am an introvert after all. I don't make friends easily. But, at the very least, I like to think that the people that I make an effort to connect with are ones that are worthwhile."

"Where are you going?" Hashirama asked as Kabuto left the room.

"Just to do some basic research. Something to pass the time with while we wait for the next entertaining show that Naruto gets himself stuck in." With a casual wave, he left the two revived legends in the room, dismissing them to do whatever they pleased so long as they didn't leave the base or destroy anything.

"Humph. I can never get along with guys like that. They're so annoying, planning all the time."

"How you ever managed to keep the village stable without throwing your weight around is beyond me." Madara shook his head. "If Tobirama wasn't your brother I doubt he would have been able to tolerate you."

"Speaking of brothers…" The kage's tone turned unnaturally firm. "I noticed that you never brought up Izuna."

The silence from the accusation was damning.

"Care to explain? I know you had a hand in it."

The accused had the nerve to avoid eye contact. "… There's a jutsu that reverses causality at the cost of a Sharingan and some blood of a Senju. Izuna managed to snag some of Tobirama's during the fight that nearly killed him. To pass off that he actually died, he gave me his eyes so I could upgrade my Sharingan. We used the corpse of one of our cousins that died during the battle as his, and spread the word that he was Izuna before cremating his body so no one would look too deeply into it."

"And the reason why he's still alive now?" Hashirama pressed.

Madara crossed his arms and looked to the side. "… That monster, Zetsu. It came to me shortly before we faked Izuna's death. I didn't trust it so I turned it away, but apparently Izuna was more interested in what it had to say. I wouldn't be surprised if it had something to do with it."

There was obviously more to the story than what Madara was telling but Hashirama let it go. For now at least. "So, what do we do?"

"Didn't you hear our summoner? We wait."

"Don't play ignorant Madara. This is Tobirama's jutsu. You know that either one of us could break out of it whenever we want."

"And then what? Don't make me repeat myself Hashirama. What would we do when freed? I'm a monster. You're a legend. And we've both been dead for decades. We know less about the status of the world today than the average genin. As infuriating as it sounds, our summoner has connections we don't. We lack the resources that he has. The fastest way to get anywhere is to wait and see what happens."

"Tch." Hashirama ceded to that point. They were from a previous era. They were strong. Unstoppable compared to most, but that was it. There was no point in wandering about aimlessly. "As if that's what you're aiming for. I can tell you're simply interested in fighting Uzumaki."

"Unlike you, he actually looks like he can plan ahead of time." Madara aimed low. "However…"

"You want to see what became of the Uchiha in person." Hashirama read his former friend's mind like a book. "After everything that happened, you still care, don't you?"

Without giving Hasirama the chance to say another word, Madara turned and vanished into the darkness.

"Heh. He hasn't changed at all." The former Kage turned back to the screen that was still displaying the images of the cartoon Oogakari wailing on one another, and his smile fell.

No. Madara had not changed, but everything else… it wasn't that the world has changed since he died but…

… The current world may be changing too much and too quickly for everyone here to manage.

o. o. o.

Tsunade sighed as she sagged back into her office chair and looked at the village of Konohagakure. The sun had set recently, and an ominous calm was draped over her home that in many ways was more terrifying than the Kyubi itself.

"Pain. Akatsuki. The statue. Hidan. Empathy. Zetsu. Kaguya…" She recited all the names and forces, ones she knew and ones that she had never heard of until now.

All of them defeated in a single day. Save for one.

"Tobi." She let out an irritated sigh, stating the one major loose end that had yet to be addressed. "… It's too much to hope that it would all be over with just this."

Naruto was a mess. According to Waltz, the boy was going to be out for at least a week, more than likely closer to three. She could heal his body, and some of his mind, but the rest was up to him.

Damn it. She couldn't even relieve her stress by yelling at the brat…

And it was only going to get worse before it got better.

"How is Onoki?" She asked Shizune without turning around.

"Stable. He was obviously wary about being in long term care under a rival village, however I prepared the medical confidentiality contract before he aggravated his wounds. Between that and Roshi's insistence, he agreed to be put into intensive care and allow us to conduct tests to ensure his health."

"Good." The contract was something that had been put into practice recently. It was a seal enforced agreement that guaranteed that nothing gained from the patient's body or their medical data would be used against them or their intentions under penalty of the medic's death. And since shinobi medics were worth their weight in gold, nobody was ever foolish enough to risk one, or an entire squad of them, just to know what someone's blood type was. "And security?"

"He is being treated with max level security ward, alongside Naruto. No one is allowed on the same part of the building without your express permission."

"Speaking of which…"

"All present members of Naruto's circle that possess medical training or the rank of Jonin have permission to visit Naruto, but are forbidden from going anywhere else." Shizune paused momentarily. "They've made it a point to have at least one member present at all times just to be sure. Hinata probably would have been there all night if Hiashi-sama didn't put his foot down. Kakashi is currently on site."

"Mmm." Well, at least that was going her way. "That girl has it bad."

"Tsunade-sama, what about those corpses we found?" Shizune asked. "I only heard rumors about them, but it sounded like…"

"Zetsu clones. The lot of them. Disguised as our own shinobi." The Hokage sighed. "Running count is about half a dozen in the village and counting, all posing as guards for low to mid-level security targets. Jobs that are easy to do regardless of the level of training one has. Who knows how long they have been in the village spying on us?"

"What could you find out?"

"Plant men. No. Naruto was right when he was making those weed comments. Parasitic monstrosities that look like men." She frowned. "Even worse, I'm still running tests, but their DNA highly resembles my grandfather's."

"You mean…"

"There's a good chance they had the Mokuton. And if they're here, they're probably in other villages too." Worst case scenario is that someone managed to exploit the bodies and make their own Mokuton users or some other abomination in a desperate grasp for power.

No. Not gain power. "Balance" the power difference. Only an idiot wouldn't be scared of Naruto's potential as a war power after witnessing what just happened.

If all three other Kage had been watching this clusterfuck, then she could expect envoys from all three villages within the next few days. Hell, she had already set up rooms and warned border security of their arrival.

"Has Ghost returned yet?" Shizune asked hesitantly.

"No. And while I now know it's a futile thing to do so, I am praying that he doesn't do anything to make the situation worse than it already is." It wasn't like the immortal to just up and vanish when things were at their messiest. He was the type of jerk that would lord a simple answer over everyone's heads for about half a day before tossing it over his shoulders like he had lost interest in the whole thing for everyone to pick up.

Not when Naruto was involved at least. Especially when Naruto was involved.

Either that man was hiding like a child, waiting for possibly the worst time to pop up with some random piece of information… or he was preoccupied with something that was genuinely important.

She really hoped it was the first one.

Before their conversation could continue, someone knocked on the doors to the room before they were opened without her permission.

"Ah. I thought my blood pressure was too low for some reason." Tsunade droned as Koharu and Homura walked in, closing the doors behind them.

Where was that gallon of magical alcohol neutral interdimensional aspirin Naruto got when she needed it?

Oh right, she had given it to some of her researchers to study in the hopes of mass producing the shit. She should have snagged a handful of them for herself before she had left. Damn it.

"Save your humor for the fools, Tsunade." Koharu frowned as she stood in front of her desk.

"If you have time for jokes, you can deal with the mountain of problems we now face." Homura joined her.

"Oh? And which problems would that be?" Tsunade sighed. "Iwagakure is a complete mess, and we currently have their Tsuchikage, one of their Jinchuriki, and the person most likely to be the next village leader. Onoki is stable. The village isn't panicking, nor is there any damage to the city. Danzo is missing, along with his entire organization. Several of our shinobi have been replaced with plant monsters for who knows how long, and for your information, I was literally elbow deep in two of them for the past four hours. We are likely going to be contacted by the other Hidden Villages to find out what the hell is going on. Naruto is stable and unconscious…"

She trailed off, not because she was still thinking, but because Koharu was holding a letter out for her.

"Read," Homura all but ordered. "It's from the capital."

"The capital?" Tsunade frowned in confusion by the sudden change in topic. "Why would the Daimyo want to… contact…"

And then she remembered who had more or less been responsible for giving everyone front row seats to the day's events.

Who had set up the arena's screens to show what was happening in Iwagakure.

Who had set up screens in the offices of the Raikage, Mizukage, and Kazekage. In rooms all across the elemental nations.

Who had a penchant for going above and beyond the norm to ensure that things were never as simple as it seemed. For pure amusement.

This timing was not a coincidence.

"Oh no. Please tell me they didn't." Shakily reaching out, she took the missive, opening it with a silent dread.

Her prayers were left unanswered. On the paper contained a series of requests and demands that were eerily similar to papers that had been sent to the Kages of Kirigakure, Kumogakure, and Sunakagure. The one for Iwagakure was a tad bit different.

It was a missive from the Daimyo, demanding what the hell just happened in Iwagakure, why a portion of the guards protecting not only him but other high level figures had died screaming before turning into albino plant men, why they were locked in their offices and forced to watch the entire events of a disaster happen live from across the continent on a screen using technology that they had never heard of, and all information she had regarding both the Oogakari and Naruto Uzumaki.

o. o. o.

"Judging from the blood curdling roar of justified rage, I'm guessing that the capital finally managed to contact Tsunade." Waltz yawned, leaning back on an overly poofy recliner in Scabbard's hospital room that had clearly not been there when he had first arrived. "Can't say I blame the poor woman. We might have actually given her wrinkles that will show even with her jutsu up this time."

"I still don't see why we needed to rush things." Shadow yawned, sitting on her own chair backwards so she could lean on the back lazily. "A fiasco like this would have gotten out no matter who tried to cover it up. Iwa's a total mess. No way they're in any condition to keep mum about what's happened or who was involved. As much as I like fucking with everyone, constantly pissing everyone off on this scale usually makes the locals annoying to deal with. I don't know about you, but I'm not in the mood to deal with any angry mobs or get kicked out of our home again. Too much work."

"Shadow, you spawn literal theme park worlds subconsciously across the realms, stocked with literally every confectionary in existence, a local population dedicated to its maintenance, and hotel service that puts most royal staff to shame." Dima's voice chided from the other side of the village. "A house to live in is not beyond your ability to blink into existence. Literally."

"Woooooorrrrrrrk." She shot down his argument with a vile hiss.

Waltz shook his head, letting out a tired sigh. "Since we aren't going to have much privacy in the near future, I believe it would be best if we addressed the elephant in the room."

The unnatural silence that followed his suggestion was damning, before all attention turned to Scabbard.

"Care to tell us why you conveniently forgot to set up filters on the screen, brother?" The old man's tone was as casual as could be, but the subject was anything but. "We would very much like to know your reasoning for killing Sai."

Empathy. A monster that could share the pain that one experienced to others. The more people suffered, the more empathy they felt, the more intense effects they would experience, the more it resonated, the more it was transferred.

When Minato Namikaze piledrived the Gobi head first into the earth at the speed of lightning, an entire arena's worth of people winced and felt that pain. They empathized with it, and Hidan felt it, magnified it, channeled it.

Waltz severed the link already established between Hidan and the audience. But it had been too late for the shinobi that had been in in his hands.

The crushed spine that the Artist suffered was a rather unique wound after all. Enough that anyone would eventually question just how and why Hidan had inflicted it in the first place once things calmed down.

"Naruto will probably figure it out after he wakes up and goes over everything. That kid was trained by Ghost after all. They always end up being suspicious of everything we do." Shadow sighed, not appearing to pay attention to Zuzushi materializing on her shoulders and giving Scabbard an impassive look that did nothing to hide the absurd and literal reality breaking intensity it possessed.

It wasn't often that the dragon herself genuinely displayed any form of displeasure.

Shikamaru may have been Shadow's favorite student here, but Sai was a close second, and one that the Goddess in particular had been fond of. In terms of sheer versatility, Sai was among the top three in his group, next to Shino and Tenten.

"You better have a good reason Scab. You know how nasty things will get if you play around anymore than you have," Waltz warned.

The accused, still locked in medical gauze and unable to lift a finger didn't physically respond to his accusations at all.

"… The odds of Sai surviving today's events were abysmal, to be generous." His voice echoed from every direction and no direction.

Shadow frowned. "You peeked? Scab, the fuck? You know that you're not supposed to do that for major fights for the inductees. Don't tell me you actually did it to help Naruto."

"It was to help Sai." The Legacy's Prophet corrected firmly.

A man that possessed a flame that reflected the cumulative potential energy of any and all futures, he was one of the few existences out there, mortal and not, that could process the full scope of what the "future" entailed.

It wasn't "a future". There was no such thing as THE future either, as no timeline was ever guaranteed. All possibilities existed at every given time. Every given instant, regardless of how improbable they could be was technically possible, and as such held the potential to exist. What most clairvoyants witnessed on average was either the "most likely" future that could take place, or they were simply being used as outlets for arbitrary existences such as "Fate" and "Destiny" to point things in a direction they want to make things they want to happen far more likely to take place. In short, they were more or less hedging their bets from outside time and space.

Scab though, Scab could see everything. Every. Single. Possibility.

The immense potential and control of his brain was useful for controlling and performing alchemy on a scale that few would ever reach, more so to process and control the undefinable levels of raw power he possessed, but those had never been its main purpose. Rather, his mind had to be of such absurd capability to prevent him from going completely insane the moment he peered beyond folds that even most Gods could not process in large quantities.

A brother that could reach forward and push through the folds of reality like it was paper mache.

A brother that could burn existence and deny even potential, acting as the predecessor of destruction in its entirety.

A sister that could play God, spawning whatever she desired from literal nothingness, be it food, life, or reality itself.

A brother that could make or break any founding rule at will…

Compared to that, mere "power" and being able to play with the components that made up physical space was woefully substandard in comparison. Which is just the way he liked it.

No. What he really had was just as absurd.

True comprehension and access to causality itself.

Fate and destiny hated Ghost on principle, but they were genuinely terrified of Scabbard. Or rather, what he could become. Because they had seen it. And so had he.

That wasn't to say that the other members of the Family, or other high powered individuals couldn't look into the future either. Quite the opposite. It was actually a pretty common skill to have for most high level Presence users to a certain extent. Most developed the ability to peek at least a few seconds forward subconsciously after a while. However, Scab was one of the few that could see with absolute clarity into any timeline he desired at will.

It was a power that he didn't use often. Mostly because he wasn't particularly fond of it, or find it useful under most circumstances. But every now and then…

"And?" Waltz sighed, knowing he was not going to like what he would hear next. It was rarely ever good news whenever Scab snuck a peek at the beyond and actually acted on it.

Judging from the timing of events, Scabbard must have had a look at things around the time Hidan was still fighting in the city, when he had taken a notice of Sai from a distance.

"It was never a matter of simply getting Sai away from Hidan. Naruto had a fifty seven point nine eight percent chance of achieving that much alone had I done nothing, which is more than satisfactory. The issue was what came afterwards."

"Akatsuki. The free for all. The statue. Han. The biju. Pain. That mask scrub. The Rabbit lady…" Shadow ticked off her fingers while recalling the situation at the time. Sai had already been in pretty rough shape, so he wouldn't have been able to put up much of a fight. That alone would have been enough to distract Naruto, who probably would have resorted to using his clones to get Sai out of there, which would then prompt Hidan to go after them for a couple of cheap kills. "Then there's the whole Iwa thing. If nobody jumped in, Sai would have been disappeared before he even knew what was happening."

"The odds of Hidan pulling Kaguya's consciousness to the surface would be marginally lower had I done nothing, but still not dismissible," Scabbard supplied. "The biggest issues were the rest of Akatsuki. Naruto would have had to focus all of his attention on Hidan and Kaguya while Sai would have to join Jiraiya and the rest during the fighting, which would do nothing but paint a giant target on the back of his head. Pain was less likely to die for a time with the further distractions around, but he would still be a target of Hidan's for his significance to the world. Sai would have been targeted by Tobi and the others immediately in the confusion. Between his poor condition, the constant high level fighting, and Akatsuki being forced into a corner by that point, Sai's more or less a sitting duck that had little chance to protect himself."

"Which would have further distracted that blonde boy and likely turned the entire event into a colossal shit show for the locals here," Dima surmised.

"Aaah. Fuck it. Cut to the chase Scab. Give us numbers." Waltz shook his head. "How bad was it?"

"Had I done nothing, Sai's odds of survival today's events would have been at best around six point three percent. However, of those cases, the likelihood of him being captured, kidnapped, and tortured to insanity or death after the day in question was near guaranteed. It didn't help Naruto's survivability odds either."

"Does that mean you saw Naruto use Law and knew of it ahead of time?" Shadow asked, her expression unreadable.

"I… ignored those," Scab hesitantly confessed. "When I look into the expanse, I see ALL possibilities, sister. Even the most ridiculous ones that make no sense. Disregarding the nonsensical ones is only natural. Even Fate and its kin follow a similar process. You know that everyone technically has the potential to use Presence at any stage. I saw that the odds of Naruto using it was significantly higher than it should be, but I dismissed the idea that he actually KNEW how to use Law and filtered those futures out from my calculations. I doubt any of us ever expected what happened to come to pass."

"So Sai could have had better odds," Waltz reasoned.

"No. Not noticeably at least. By the time Naruto used Law… had I done nothing, Sai's prospects were already grim. Had he been in better condition overall, perhaps he would have had an opportunity to escape or protect himself adequately, but as it stood it was too unstable of a setting, for both him and everyone else there. He was too tempting of a target to ignore."

When Naruto had used Law, when Ghost had appeared on site, Scabbard had reluctantly peeked into parallel worlds that would no longer exist, their shadows and imprints already fading from conception.

In the potential realms where Scabbard had not interfered, by the time Ghost had showed up, the artist had either been killed off or kidnapped by Akatsuki, or by random Iwa shinobi when Sai was trying to escape or help Jiraiya's group.

In Akatsuki's case, Tobi wasted no time grinding Sai for information with his sharingan before killing him off.

If he was captured by Iwa, the poor kid was given more or less the same treatment. The only difference being that the damage was more physical. If Ghost did push his weight around to get Sai back, the vengeful bastards would kill the kid and mutilate his body out of sheer spite and instinct.

The immortal had revived Anko and saved Hana, but they were the exceptions, not the rule. Just like how Crypt did not bother to heal or help Gai, Ghost would not help Sai. The best they would do was make their passing less miserable.

"Scab. You're forgetting something." Shadow lifted a finger. "Sai had that on him the entire time. Even if the kid couldn't bring out its full potential, it would have been more than enough to deal with the situation."

She was referring to the painting that was still in Naruto's possession. Sai's Magnum Opus. A piece of art that held more significance in this world than even the Biju. A weapon of mass destruction.

A picture of Zuzushi herself.

Made with ink that possessed a single drop of her blood.

Fuck nukes. Fuck world trees. Sai had been carrying a literal potential universe tier destroying artifact in his pockets for nearly a year and he didn't even know it.

"No. Unfortunately Sai took your warnings about his creation to heart. The few timelines he ever used it were the ones where Naruto had died before him. The results were, unfortunate."

"Oh come on. Why is it people only listen to us seriously at the worst possible times?"

"Probably because you told him, correctly, that if he used it the strain of doing so would kill him regardless."

"You're talking like the fear of using suicide moves stopped literally anyone from doing something stupid today."

"So there was no reliable way for Sai to get out of there safely without getting directly involved?" Waltz groaned.

"No. There wasn't. The best way to guarantee Sai's life was if Minato teleported him here with the Hiraishin early on, however even the most subtle means of ensuring such a thing would have heavily involved our direct interference." It would have been easier if Naruto's clone in Hinata's custody had been conscious, but by that point, the poor thing had been hit by Hidan's powers so many times that it was barely lucid, and in no condition to send messages to the original. "You know the rules. The only reason why Ghost got involved in the fight at all was because the seals put on Naruto in the first place would have interfered with him using Law. The most he did after that was shout a few generic words of advice that anyone could have done. Even then, you saw what happened. The dimensional stability of the battlegrounds is absolutely tattered."

And there was the core of the matter. The more individuals, or singularities, of overwhelming influence got involved, the more unstable the world became due to the local reality becoming more dependent on said outliers.

The Oogakari could train the locals. They could interact with them. They could help accelerate the overall development of the local society. Those things were no problem. But major events that immediately dictated the future of the local conceptual ecosystem, i.e. Planets, Dimensions, Universes, had to be handled like fragile glass. Or enriched uranium. Otherwise everything would start to fall apart. Literally.

On a side note, the fate of mankind sparsely counted as a factor for these kinds of things. Mankind's existence as a whole rarely was ever that important. Not unless they were included in the whole "fate of all life on the planet" thing, or something along those lines.

To put things into perspective, Ghost, who was capable of rendering himself a non-existence to the point of being disregarded by reality if needed, was the only member of the Oogakari that could even physically approach the battlegrounds without causing a part of the world to collapse on itself. Or worse.

If the source of everyone's problems had come from outside this reality, Scab would have had a bit more wiggle room to work with, but acolytes like Hidan were exempt from this rule, and Kaguya had been living in this reality in one way or another for so long that she had more or less been considered a local by this point.

"Bro's going to be there for a while. You know how much he hates doing repair work on weakened territory." Shadow smirked. Truth be told, she and Scab were better suited for fixing the damage, but there was no point in helping him out. He deserved it.

"So Scab's actions didn't cause any damage because he merely set up the means for the events that led to the boy's demise, and did not enact it. If anything, Waltz' severing of the connection set up did more, except God's Tear is another acceptation to the rule. Damn it. This is why I keep away from you monsters." Dima sighed, disappointed in Scabbards actions. In the end it was Hidan's ability that killed Sai prematurely, using the empathy of the audience in Konoha, watching Minato fight the Gobi. All Scab did was set up some live interdimensional cameras and several screens. An unfortunate "coincidence".

"Love you too." Shadow gushed mockingly, knowing he couldn't argue against her. After all, when they first met, he was the asshole that kicked her ass into the ground, literally. Oh the changes time can bring.

"You know how temporal actualization works Dima. I, we, can guarantee nothing but what we influence directly, regardless of how powerful we are. Our options are limited in cases like these. My actions only increased a desired probability; it didn't make it inevitable. Had Minato not attacked the Gobi in the way he did. Had no one else performed an act that would trigger a mass natural manifestation of empathy, things would have still turned out differently. I merely…"

"Increased the odds of Sai being able to die smiling." Waltz finished his brother's sentence knowingly.

It was a cruel thing to even consider, but sometimes it was more humane to kill a loved one, being with a person that they trusted, rather than let them live a bit longer in pure agony completely alone.

It was also something that they all had had to deal with countless times over the millennia.

Naruto's ordeals. The future of this world. Ghost and the Oogakari's machinations were never intended to bring about the "best" possible ending for the locals. There was never any point in attempting something like that. That didn't mean that they did anything to prevent such a thing from happening. They just didn't really care or put any effort into reaching it.

No, from the beginning, the immortals had only ever intended to raise their students and witness their stories in their entirety. The good, and the bad.

Scab's actions merely made Sai's inevitable bad ending slightly more bearable. It was a poor gift for a teacher to give a student, but a priceless one regardless.

"So what now?" Waltz asked.

Shadow shook her head. "We've already done enough. Any more, will just going to lead to more headaches and work. Let everything fall into place. Everything is moving ahead of schedule, but we will have to wait for the shock to die down to see the exact outcome. You guys know how this is gonna go from here."

That was right. Since the very beginning, this world was bound to be Naruto's, not the Family's. He may end up one of their fold, but what was his was not guaranteed to be theirs. By now the young man knew it too.

The land itself already acknowledged it. The Biju as well.

All that was left, were the strong, and the people themselves. They were already more than halfway done with the first part, as for the latter… it was better to get that over with sooner rather than later.

One way, or another.

They had made saving the world far more interesting and outlandish than it originally should have.

Messing with the politics that ensued afterwards… no, chipping away at those under the delusion that they were powerful, watching them desperately struggle to keep a collapsing structure from giving into the pressure that was reality, and having front row seats to them inevitably screwing it all up, would be no less entertaining.

"Mmm." The old man looked around curiously, noting the absence of a certain divine entity that had been on his sister's shoulder. "Speaking of doing nothing, where's the Queen of inactivity?"

Shadow shrugged. "Somewhere. You know how she is at times. When she wants to do her own thing…"

It was at that moment that Tsunade crashed into the room through the windows with blood red eyes, her Strength of a Hundred technique unleashed, radiating malicious intent to cause bodily harm, and a paper letter crunched up in her fist so tightly it was a miracle it was still in one piece.

Waltz sighed, knowing what was coming next as a hand grabbed onto the front of his robes with the explicit intent to maim. "And people wonder where we got it from."

o. o. o.

Sai looked around at the blank world around him in confusion.

"She does it, regardless of whether we know what the hell she's doing or not."

"This is…" The Artist was confused. He was dead, there was no mistaking that much. After he had faded away, everything had gone blank… but not. He still learned about what was going on in the world, but wasn't aware of it until he was lucid once more, which came in handy when he helped out Naruto a little while ago…

Wait. A little while ago? Should he even be able to tell that much after dying?

He scanned his surroundings quickly, but all he saw was a blank world. Perfectly flat to the point that it was hard to tell where the floor beneath him was in the first place. An undefinable material without a blemish to distinguish any unique property in the slightest, or rather, perhaps that perfection in itself was a property to take note of.

However, where the ground was perfectly level, blank and pristine, the sky itself was another marvel entirely.

Three strips of color stretched over all the heavens above him. A wide black band accompanied by pink on either side that went as far as the eyes could see.

The sight was a familiar one. He had been here before. On the rare occasions that he and his friends spoke to the Oogakari about some important event, they found themselves in this odd world.

"Wait… The Fourth and Kushina-san were here at one point too. And the Kyubi." Sai recalled one meeting, before Naruto left where they had all gathered to talk about the future, and how dark it would be for them.

It didn't make any sense. Was this the afterlife? No, then he wouldn't have been here before. Some jutsu that could summon just the spirit of others then?

"N̷͇̭̲͉̾͊̄o̵͖̗͔͛̾t̷̻͆͂́h̸̢̪̺̦̤̍͘i̶̛̭̹̮̎̏͗̈́n̴͎̋ͅg̸̡͔̙̈́̓ ̶͚̋̉̂̇̌̇s̸̹̱̱͎̱͈̕o̶̫̪̮̪̐̇̎̕ ̵̨̳̮̃̓̒g̶̺̤͚̪̠̮̀̓r̷̫̼̃å̶̯͇̣̑̊̚͠n̸̞̯̮̻̣͖̈́̄̊́͘̚ḍ̸̡̦̽̅̅̏,̸̻̞̺̔͐͜͝ ̶̞̫͉̳̬͑͒̈́y̸̨͕͙͂̅̎͛̉ǫ̴͉̭͇͂͊͑̽̂̋ũ̵̘̳̓̔͘n̶̨̢̯̱̪̹̔͗͘͠͝͝ģ̵̝͔̳̓̄ ̶̰̙́͑̍̊̄̕A̵͈͠r̸̢̢̤̰̄̑̔̎̎̒͜ͅt̷̮̟̗͓̽̋̑̒̑i̴̘̬͔͚͓͐̓̃̈̽s̴̛̳͕̪͆̌̅̑͠t̷̖̥̰̓́̚.̸͈̜͕̅"

The voice was everywhere, yet not a word was spoken. It was in the ground. In the skies. In his mind. But his ears detected nothing.

It was powerful, but bodiless like the wind. There was no identifying tone to it, but yet somehow effeminate. All mighty and knowing, yet exceedingly casual.

"Ä̶̫̝͙̰̼́͘ñ̶͇̠̹̺͎̎̈́̅̀d̴̛̯̔̏͝ ̴̞̹̙̯̓̓͒͊͝ͅŷ̴̧͍̜́͜e̵͆̉̿ͅt̸̬͔͈͛̆́̎̉̚,̴̛̬̠͓̝̠̄̊̇͛ͅ ̴̳̮͇͍͉͉̿s̷͖̊̌̾̊̒͝ͅo̴̙͔̼͊̆̾̀̄̊͜m̵̞̞̏̒͂̽̎͋e̷̦̙͉̱̙̒͛t̷̨̛͍̪̖̥ḧ̸̨̗̮̤̳̊̏͜͠i̴͈͔͌̍̍̈̕n̴̞̖̎͋̋̑̚͠g̶̫͖͌́͒̒̕ͅ ̵̡͖̋u̵̧̼͑͂̈́͐͘͠ͅn̵̨̙͇̥̜͔̐͊́̇ę̷̣̺̮̏͆͐͑̀͘q̴̳͔͓͗͐̒͗͑ṷ̵̘̗͔͋̒̏ͅͅî̸̠͛v̷̡͓͖͕̀ͅó̵͚͖̥̭́c̴̗̈́͆͆ḁ̸̣̽̈́͒̀̾̔l̸̡̩͎͎͈̿͒ļ̵͍̝͇̬͆͑̾̿y̸̥̜̼̅͂̂͌͝ ̷̼̺̙̍̚b̵̺̄͂̋͒͝e̸͙͙̥̤̤̱͒̋͝ẏ̸̱͎̘̼̪̤̕ò̸̢͓̝̮̗͓̃̔͊n̷̫̦̲͈̐͝d̷̞̔͒ ̸̧̢̘̺̼͔͆̏͛̽̕s̸͎̰͎̜̠̀͌̍͝u̶͕̮͖̺̥̻͗c̶̹̱͗ẖ̸̢̛͍̉̈́̾̆̉ͅ ̶̙͖̣̙̤́̊̓͒͝p̵̻̳͗ę̷̻̮̫͚͂̚̕ț̵͖͋t̵̫͒͆y̶̘̭̗̋͗͐́ ̴̧͎̪̏g̴̨̺̿̔i̶̘͔̊̃͋̔̏̈́͜ḿ̴͖̫ͅm̷̛̛̩̟̠͈̄̎i̵̜̦͑̅̎c̷͚͔̈́́̕ͅk̷̻͕̏̔͜͝s̸̨̡̼̲͚͖̆̐̀͛.̵̠́"

"Who's there?" He took a battle stance, looking everywhere, but seeing nobody around. "Shadow? Ghost? I am going to be quite honest, I thought you were better than to harass the dead to kill time." No matter where he looked, everything was the same. What alarmed him the most was that even with Presence, he couldn't feel or sense the slightest bit of change, or tell what direction this thing was coming from.

The world seemed to shake. It took Sai a moment to realize that it was not an earthquake, or an expression of malice, but genuine amusement.

"Ï̵͓̖̱̈́ ̵̨̭͇̼̰̙̅͂̓̕a̶̞̥̩̽͌̋̈́̚͜s̵̹̜̤͛̓͛s̵̜̩̪̘̈̍̀͋͠ŭ̸̧̜̠͚̎̈́͑r̵̛͙͊̃̿̐̕e̷̱̻̣̪̠͇̊͌͑̐͘ ̴̫̮̑̄̈͝y̷̫̲͉̔͗o̴̺͉͖̔̎̾́u̸̲̜̞͌͘.̷̯̳̊̀͛̏̈́͝ ̴̬̲͎̣͕͑͘Ṭ̶̲́͋̈̅h̷̢͍̳̝̗͊̎̓̂͘e̶͕͇̺̟͘ý̶̢̭̩͎̖̜͌͝ ̵̛͔̠̳̫̞͗̃͝a̶̛̪͗̆ŗ̴̢̻̰̘̰̅e̷͎͓̒̑̉̒̓ ̸̛̞̼̥̪̜̀n̴̹͕̹̗̘͗̊̆͒͘ȯ̷̹͉̜̠̤͓͊̆̒̃ţ̷͈̱͈̮̏́͜͝.̵̝̓ ̸̳̇̒H̴̝̤͓͗͝o̷͈̩̯̻̐̋̄͋̚͜ẅ̸͎̭̯̥̂̂̆͝ͅe̷̼̞̖̒͛̃̿̉̚v̶͈̭̦͌̒̽̑͛̒ȇ̴̮̝̘̠͇r̶̨̩͕̖͖͛̊̀̈ ̴͉̈̾̆̓̂͜ṭ̸͕̺͇̬̂͆̈́́ȟ̴̰̖̤͑͌ḙ̷̱̜͍̈́y̵̳̗̬̐́͐͌̓̕͜ ̴̨͎̟̬̝͌̀̀̐͆d̶̬̹͔͎̘͖̍̉̽̐̎͠ḯ̶̭͕͖̹̬ď̶̙̼͖͕̎͘ ̵͇̯͑̒͘͜n̴̨̥̯̗̦̒̍ȍ̴̝̿̀̾̉t̷̰̱̣̦͚̬̔͛̓͠ ̸͖̝̭̰̌͛͑̾̕͜ͅb̸̢̗̺̟̳̓̄͂̈͝r̸̬̦͍̦͇͋̃̀̊̏͜ị̸̗͔̮̣̅̈́̆̄͐̍n̴̛̪̩̞̣͚͆̎̀g̶̭͗ ̸͍͎́͝y̶̧̬̞̫͍͗̔̾͜͝ǫ̶̨̥̓ǘ̵̦͙̘̮̩̊̄̏̓ ̶͉̺̯̭̭̬̔̎͑̍̀h̷̊̄ͅę̷̉͛̀̊r̸̰̩̓̐̈́ͅe̶̠̠̙̲̳̐̑̉̈́͝.̵͎̼̻̘̭̋̕"

"I̸̙̔̏̓ ̴̱͍̐̈́̾̚͘͝ḑ̷̜̔̔̌i̸̠̦̪͔̥͗d̷̬̺̩͙̪̅.̴̗̼̓͑"

Then, the sky slowly turned white, the same pristine color and texture as the ground beneath Sai.

No. It didn't turn white. It…

It…

Sai's eyes widened as he realized what was happening, where he was, who he was talking to.

He lost all feeling in his legs as he collapsed to his knees, never turning his gaze away from the blank heavens as its prior pink and black state returned to view. His normally impassive and borderline sterile facial expression giving way to a near hysterical smile of genuine disbelief and twisted amusement.

"Ah. Ahaha. So, that's what this is." He said out loud, more to himself than the other entity there. "No wonder Naruto's the way he is. He must have known this entire time that… no, he's probably seen and knows even more. Haha. It appears I owe him an apology."

"D̶͍͘ͅo̴̺̺͖̹̍̓̂͊͘͝ ̶̧̭̊̎̉͘̕y̶̧̧̺̖̆o̴͖̞̓̄̎̉ụ̷̼̻͗̾̃̌ͅ ̵͈̀r̸̙̿̈̍͠e̸̢̛̦̔̽͛̈͘g̷͕͕͗ṙ̷̳̗̟̣͈̫̓͌̽ẽ̴̡̲͎͍ͅt̷̮̣̦͈̣̊̔̚ͅ ̷̡̩̤̠͚͎̅̄̍̓͘i̶͎͕͛t̵̙̞͙́̈̓͛̓͘,̷̡͓͔̖͋̍̈́̆̂͠ ̸̯̌̀A̴̻͍̬̖͒r̴͇̳̥̙̤̠̈t̵̜͂̇́̍i̷̜͋͗̉̀̊͜͝ͅṡ̴̩̳̜̦ţ̸̨͍͒̋̋́̿ͅ?̵̛̗̼̗̓̎" The voice curiously probed. "D̷̡̯͚͗͑̉̋ö̸͎͍̺̗͉̠́͛ ̴̨͈͆̓̾͂y̶̝̱͈̾̎̚͝ơ̸̩̐͂u̶̡̹̫̘̗͎͆͆̅͘̕͠ ̴̧̡̫̙̱̟̈́͠r̷͈̿e̶̮̜͉͉̟̱̋͌̀j̷͓͛e̴̞̯̞̣̣͂c̶̗̙̘͚̩̳̽t̴̜̲̝̀͘ ̴̪̞͈̭̣͘͜t̸͉̱̼͉̯́h̴̡̡̲͔̾̇̓͋̑͌ĕ̵̬͔̺̣̣̂̈́̄͘ ̵̯̗̝̟̂͐̐͗͂̀p̸̨̦͆̓́̄a̷̲̯͋̐͛̎ͅt̵̥̞̠̻̠̬̅ḩ̶̺͚͕͕̣̃̀̃̅̈́̎ ̵̹̓̈̽͘y̴̢͚̬̗̒́õ̶͖̬͚ṷ̵͐̂̈́̄ ̵̭̪̙̯̇̇̇̄h̵̡̟̘̼̰̤́̽̈́̋a̴̻̤̒̔̃̋́͘v̷̟͍͊͆̒͂e̸̫̻̫̲͈̭̎̔͂̽ ̴͓̥͔̰͂̃͑̌͛͜t̶̖̊̈́͂̾å̴̡͉̤͌̌̈́̏̚k̷̡̟̞̯̓ͅe̸̘̬͗̀̂̃̂̈n̴̯͉̓̊̍̎͂ͅ,̶̛̠̫͖̀ ̴̘̍̅ṅ̵̢̈͆̓̒o̴̳͇̜͉͈̓w̷͚̻̺͙̩̒͘ ̵̹̌͗̎̔̇́ţ̸̬̈̅̈̕͝͝h̷̫̭́͌͛̀̈ă̶̛̮̣̗̦̒͠ͅt̴̺͔̟͒̈́͜ ̷̙̯̯̲̀̐̐̉̽̍y̷̖̪̞̣̜͙̍̈́ǫ̸̫̦̥̭͋̍̓ú̵̙͇̙͌͆̋́͝ ̵̢̫̝̦̼͓̂̌͑̿͊̂ḁ̴̌̃͝r̷͓̜̆͜͠ͅȅ̴̮̃̈̀͒ ̷̹̼̦̗̏̈́͘̚͜h̴̼̻̜̔͘e̵̺̖̐r̶̖̖̟̞̈̒ę̸͈̖͖̿?̷͇̠̫̺̂̍͆́"

"Regret?" His smile did not disappear, but his expression did gain a modicum of stability. And not once did he turn his eyes away from the sky. "Who doesn't regret dying early? Even someone like me, who was raised and conditioned to be a tool would feel such a thing. Any self-aware being would harbor such things if they could somehow remain lucid after dying."

"Ḃ̶̨͇͕̙̃̍͜ṷ̷̋̔̌̉t̵̡̛̲̰̻̺̐̽̂̔͘,̶͎̬̌͘ ̸̫̺͔̗̘̭̿ÿ̸̡͕̯́̋̾̾͝ớ̷͎̯̺̦̀̍͝ͅu̶͖̯͊̈́̄̊͠ ̴̥͒́̾̕d̸̼̰͇̪͒͗͋ͅō̴͎̄̃n̵̺̹͔̜̞̈́'̴̞̖̘̽͒̽t̸̛̪̘̰͙̦̓̑̉͗ ̷̩͇̫̤́r̵̙͖̓̊͌̄̈͒͜ȅ̴̩͋̈́͝g̴̨͔̣̣̺̋ŗ̸̢̭̥͖̫͠e̶̗̗͚͚̣̱̎͐̍̅̏t̵͓͈͒̓͋̚ ̷̢̹̯̟̖͎̂̍̔̾̂̑t̷͇̬̏̊ẖ̴̊̎̿e̴̯̍̌̓̈́̄ ̴̠̘̮͎͑͋̈̌͜͠p̸̘͇̰̱̔̃̊a̵͉͎̮͓͋͛̎̇̂t̶̤̎̂̑h̷̥̣͂̉̃̒͆͝ ̴̝̝̩̦̩̠̄̒y̷̟̳͂̉̾̀̀ǫ̶͈͉̱̼̇̋͗̎u̷̞̪̞̦̣̒̔͠͝ ̸̦̖̺̺̺͖͒ṭ̴̖̆̀̓́̾r̵͖͂͗̈́̽͝ä̸̖̉̿͗̔̂v̵̪͉͉̅̃̑̃ě̸̻̜͗̀͗l̸̛͙͍͕̺̈́̂̕͠ê̷̙̠̞̰͑̊̍̑̌d̵̹̫̙͆́̀̈́.̸̳͇̻͚̌̎͐̔̈́" The voice stated knowingly.

Sai's voice regained some strength, and his smile turned into an frown. "I would appreciate it if you did not question my resolve. It is not even worth asking."

Once more, the world around him shook in amusement.

He had died early. He had died being used. He had died a fool's death, getting involved where he shouldn't have. But he had died with friends that cared about him. With a family he never expected to have.

He regretted the ending he had, and delaying his decision to defy Danzo's orders which would have avoided this fate in the first place. He had no one to blame for himself for procrastinating for so long.

But the path he took to get there? No. Never. He had died strong. Even if he had not accomplished anything of note.

"Ḯ̶͓̥̚ ̴̼͓̗̹̮̐w̵̼̹͇̼͕͐̆͒͐ǒ̸̘͇͉̥ư̸͉̩̰̙̠̈́͛͂͠l̵̩̟͙̬̪̎d̵̞̭͔̈̂́̑̀̿ ̷̦͖͕͈͒͂̍̅̎̏ǹ̶̖̩̺̜͐͜ǫ̶̪̝̫̼̃̓͜͠t̴̠̳̐̔̈́͠ ̶̫͎͎̪̂̑̓͛͝g̴̪̯͚̊͋̃̉̈́͝o̷̩͓̳͑́͋ ̸͙̰̼͙̎͌̅̈́͒͂ț̴̢͙̈́̔̆̚̕ẖ̵̯̋à̴͉͊̈̈̿͑ͅt̵̙͓̤̮̾̓͆͑̔̕͜ ̵̪̝̗͓̘̅͂̍f̸̡̗̟̫̱̖͒̀́â̸̯̳͈̦̌̇̅̌̕r̶̰͉̙̻̈́̾̿͊.̶̡̮̯̖͆̄́͐̂" As if reading his mind, the voice corrected him. "Ỷ̵̧͖̘͓̪ö̸̞̯͖̠́͗̐̚ȗ̵͈̲̻͔̎̊̄̕ ̶̧̞͖͕͂̿̆͠ã̸̜̓̇͛c̸͇̒ć̷̳̰̲̙o̷̧̺͕̒̔̈́̾͆ṃ̸̢̪̥̞̍͑́̃̊͜p̷͖͚̖̠͖͓̾́̑l̸̜̆͂͗ĩ̷̧͔͎̬̼́̋̋̅͑s̸̯̘̪̥̆̌̾͒ḩ̴̟̲̤̱͗̍̾̄͘e̴̬̤̜̲̣͇͠d̸̗͓̝̟͙̈́̎͒̾̽ ̶̩͈͕͐͝m̸̝̬̍̑͘͝o̶̹̩̣̪͖͓̾̑̕ṟ̷̪̦̊̾́̿͠e̵̡̛̙̮̞͙̼͑́̑̽͘ ̵̮̣̈̐ť̶̬̼̫͇̺̈́͌͋h̴̡̛̺̯̝͈̔̉͆͝͝ȧ̵̻̬̔̊͐͘͠n̸͇̬̻̻̠͂͗͛̕͝ ̵̛̠͖̥̓̂͊y̵̮͇̪͐͂o̸̬͖̝̣̔͐̊̕u̴͚̝̰͑͌͛ ̴̰̖͇̰̦͔̄́̓̑k̷̡̫̠͐̐n̷̹̮̻̰͘͠͠o̵̝͙̤̳̥͇̒̄̈́̅͠w̵͉̻͇̮̑̃́̑͌,̵̛͕̯̱̃̈́̂ͅ ̸͔̘́̍̉̈͘͝a̵̻̯͔̭͖̫̿̑̏͑̒ņ̵͈͓̙̑d̵͓̮̲̦͑̓ͅ ̸̛̬̣̘̾̂͊͆̌f̷̻̙̗̰̹̂̃͜o̴̩̮̬̼̗͖͛̃̅̏̾͝r̷̗͔̃̎͑͝ ̴̢̳͈̻̤̥̀̔̌̕͝ţ̴̗̩̐̊͂̍͆̋h̴̨̙̺͙̻͉̅͋̾̚a̸̗̗̿̎̀̈́͠͠ţ̸̫̀̽̿̀,̷̡̳̹͖͉͌̉ ̸̪̆̈̂͆Î̸̢͉̞̼ ̶͇̟̐̓̀o̴̡̭͓͓͌̉̈́̈̍̒w̵̜̣̪̅̓̒͒͠e̷̩͖̙̝͔͐̌̐͛̑͝ ̸̰̔͝͠y̶̡̖̹̻̣̭̑͋̕ơ̶͎̤̹̮̿u̵̝̳̎̀͝ͅ ̵͇̫̳̙̙̏̂̈́͗̈ä̶̛́̅̍̂̚ͅ ̴̠̦̓̓̽̅͗̊d̶̢̹̺̔̈͆̔͝͝e̶͍͚̦̱͚͔͗̽̒ḇ̷̱̩̋̓͋͠t̸̤̮͉̮̙̟̽̚.̸̤̖͔̐̑̎̏̂"

"A debt?" He had been around long enough to know that there was such a thing as something too good to be true. If Naruto was any standard to go by, then it was likely to be a curse as much as a blessing. "Am I to be revived?"

"Ǹ̵̜̗ơ̴̧̒.̴̨̙̒̓ ̵̻̓Y̸͔͌o̶̯̓̍ͅu̵̢̬̍͘r̸͕̂̄ ̵̖͙̀̂t̴̨̉͝i̷̡̘̐̉m̷̹̚e̷̜̓̽ ̴̨̀h̶̠͚́å̸̗̞s̷̘͗͒ ̴̱́p̷̳̎͜ȧ̸̱s̷̜̻̋s̸̮̦̓ḛ̴̻̈́̆d̷̘̾͝,̸̞͉͂ ̵̖͇̅a̷̝̗̓̽n̷͍͚̆̚d̶̂̚͜ ̷̺͓̓̿b̵͕̈ẽ̶̝͍e̷̛̠̕n̵̖̮̾ ̵̧͋̉â̶̤͒c̴̨̜̽ḳ̸̉ň̵̻͓̂o̵̫̔w̴͉̚͜͠l̷̗͓̈́͝è̵̮̣͗d̷͓͆͜ǧ̷̼͎e̵̬̹̐d̵̤̋͒ ̴̢̈́b̸̮̲̂y̴͙̺͠͝ ̸̫͝t̸̗̽o̴͔̱̕ô̵̮ ̵̹̑̍m̵̟̈̄ǎ̶̱̒ṋ̸̣̇̍ÿ̴̘͎́͋.̸̬͑̋ ̸̺̌I̸̙̒͌t̷̛͎ ̷̤́́͜w̴̦̎o̴͔̬̎u̵̲̯̾l̵̡̽d̶̪̃ ̴̯͝c̴̝̙͘á̵̧̗̏u̵̜͠s̷̘̃e̸̖̩͊ ̴̪̟͋p̶̱͓̈́ŗ̵͈̐̍ő̴̩͐b̴̹͚͐ĺ̴͙ê̴̥͙m̶̳͐͌s̴̟̓̀ ̵̟̖̂ḯ̶̛̭ͅf̸͖͐͒ ̷͈̇y̸̞͂ȯ̵̜͔͛ŭ̵̹̻̑ ̶͔͈̓w̶̻̮̓è̶̼͝ṛ̸̕e̶͉̘̊ ̵̫̥̓̕ṯ̶̓͜o̶͔͔̿̐ ̴̠̪̈̑ȓ̸̡̄ẻ̵̪̞ẗ̶̩́u̴̇̒͜ͅr̶̠͘n̴̛̘ ̷̰̄͝t̷̺̔́ȯ̷͔̭ ̷̞̬̄̓t̴̗̦̍h̸͈̪̃ë̷͎̘́ ̶̨̲͋l̷̯͇̓̓i̵̻̽͘v̶̙̗͒i̵̡̤̓̇n̵̮͆g̴̲̯̈́͘.̶̫̿̓͜" His assumptions were rejected immediately. "Į̸͋n̵͚̥̐̄ş̷͍̔ṭ̵̏ẹ̷̒͑a̸͇̅d̴̗͆,̸̧̗̈́̕ ̶͓̈̾I̸̘͂̚ ̴̝͍͆̍c̸̻̫̓̾ơ̴͔̖͝m̴̛̩͚e̶͐̐ͅ ̶̨͇͒̽w̷̳͗̂i̸̬͋͆t̶̹͑h̶̻̔̈́ ̵͔͘a̸̧̛ṉ̴̻̊ ̵̖̰͒̔o̸̙̽́f̵̢̛̘̀f̷̤̃̓è̸͕̝͑ṟ̵̯͠.̵̘̍"

Well, there goes that hope. "And that would be?"

Faded words were not spoken, but flowed through his mind. An idea. A purpose that existed behind the folds of what was and what was not. One that would be… no, one that was his and his alone, even before his death.

For many, it was a paltry role. Meaningless. One without genuine merit or worth.

But for Sai…

"And if I refused this offer?" He asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.

"T̷̯̏͋h̶̘̪͝e̴͙̬͊n̷͓̣̄̉ ̷̯̬̌̎ỵ̷̾̀o̷̳͌u̵̢̐̑ ̶̼̾g̶͍͆o̴͓̖͒͠ ̷̫̋̊w̵̝̚͠h̴̙̾͂e̵̡̯͌͆r̶̺̙̈́e̶̱͚̓͑ ̵̬̠̽y̵͊ͅo̸̝̙̅̕u̶̦͕͒̍ ̷̡͓͝w̴̬̺̑é̷̪̱r̸͉̿e̶̲̿͗ ̵̠͒ơ̶̞̝͊r̴̉̾͜ị̸͑g̶̺̙͂͠ȉ̶͓̜n̵͋̑ͅä̷͔́̆l̷͖̒l̵̩͈͊͛ẏ̸̦͔͘ ̷̲̑̚i̸̧̋ṇ̴͊̚t̵͓͒̒e̴̙̎͆n̵̬̬̐d̶̡̑̆e̸͎͗̚ḋ̸̯͊.̸͚͌ ̷̺̓̍N̵̦̪͘o̶͂̀͜ ̸̜̪̂m̵̤̙̄̈́ö̷̻͇r̵̭͊͜ĕ̵̺.̶̣͗́ ̸͈̤̾̕N̸̗͌͗o̶̺̚ ̷̩̈́l̸̪͚͛ẽ̴̫s̸̢̹̓s̶͙̍.̶͙̏" If the voice was offended by the question, it did not show it.

"Then I accept." Sai spoke with more strength than before. "And you have my thanks."

"Y̴̹̐o̸̩͊̇û̵̪̲̂ȑ̶̘̓ ̵̺̬̇a̵̫̮͐̚p̵̨̦̕͝p̶̪̕͝r̷̡̩̎̕e̵̦̹͛ç̶͎̾̽i̶̗̗͐ả̵̢̯̆t̵̠̮̍i̸̙̘̐͗ò̴͉̈́n̶̛̺ ̸̩̇̔ͅi̷̙̲͑s̵̥̈́̕ ̷̪̓̏m̴͚͊͒e̷͖͛̍ͅa̵̛̯̘͑n̷͖͔̽͘ḯ̸̩͐n̸̻̜̽ĝ̸̨̲̿l̵̒ͅẽ̵͍̂s̵̡̠̓̔s̷̰̚̕.̴̱͂ ̴̙̊͐Y̴̲̫̊ő̵͈u̵͈̇ ̴̛̲̀a̶̛̹̪̅l̵̯̍r̶͎̓̚e̷̡̖͋̉a̸̟͍͘ḋ̸͉̇y̸͉͑̋ ̸̣̳̋k̵̢̽͗n̷̜̹̈́͛o̸͎̓̑w̴̩̔͆ ̶͈̬́̚ẅ̴̡́͠h̵̺͉͂a̶̛͕̰̕ť̵̛̯͖ ̴̻̅͝Į̶͘ ̵̲͋͛d̴̞͠ȩ̷̎s̸̺̆̂ḯ̴͍͔̅r̴͎̈ẻ̴̠ͅ.̵̱̉.̶̢̝̓͌.̶̩͐" Part of the endless white world around him seemed to melt away and give form to amenities and items that without a doubt did not exist beforehand. A small simple one story house with a porch. Grass. A garden and forest that spanned for at least an acre. Lighting. Food. Creature comforts.

But most importantly of all, a set of pristine painting equipment, and a television that was showing Konohagakure, his friends and fellow villagers moving along with their lives at night.

"Y̶̠̏̍o̴̢̖͋u̸̝̽͛ ̶͓̤̀͝ẉ̸͗͊i̸̳̟̓l̵̝̔͌l̸̼͖̃̋ ̴̥̊̌ȟ̸̬a̷̱͙͌v̸̞̉é̶̺̍͜ ̴̝̭̽a̶̛̹͍ș̵̡̓̆ ̷̧̅͋m̶͇͍̅u̶̘̅̕c̴̤̯̉͠h̵̞̮͗̕ ̵̫͂a̸͍̓̎ń̴͈d̸̳̐͜ ̷͉̥̽ā̵͙̙s̸̞̀ ̴̣͚͛l̵̰̔o̶͉͑ͅn̴̘̼͒͝g̸͖̾͜ ̴̢̥̀͊a̴̰͓̓͊s̷̛̥̩ ̸̧̈́y̴̥̌͑͜ó̸͍͙̋ü̴̙ ̸̯́̇d̵̜̃ẻ̶̥̫s̷̗͘i̷̖͋̂r̸͓̩̋̾é̶͈ ̸̲̼͆t̸̛̼ơ̴̢̈́͜ ̶̪̈́̓f̸̲̐ù̸͚ľ̶̛̬f̸̲̠͑̈́ḯ̵͕ͅḽ̵͋l̸̡͓̕ ̷̠͋̾ỳ̷͙ͅo̵͔͛ủ̷̾͜r̶̳͗̓ ̵͙͂̄ǵ̸̠o̶̢̟̎̉a̴̼̰͂̋l̶̪͋s̴͔̘͑,̴͔̈́ ̸̝̼̕Ǎ̸̩͈r̵̟͗̈t̶̗͝ḯ̸͚s̷̱̚t̴̳̞̾̊.̶̭̒ ̸̚ͅI̶̛̛͈̖ ̵̘̋͗l̷̟̯͑͒ö̸̫̜́̅ö̸̯́ǩ̶̩̬ ̴͈͍̌̕f̵̯̎̂o̵̲̲͂̍ŕ̵̥̄w̸̡̭̓͘ä̸̙r̵̞̈́d̵̙̙̿̍ ̷̢̹̈͝t̶͓́͝ȏ̵ͅ ̶̎ͅw̷̥̐̽h̴͍̝̄a̵̜̱͌͝t̸͍̿ ̶̨̇́y̸̜̆o̵̺͒̎͜u̴͇̰͂͝ ̸͍̬̌̀p̴͚̪̿ä̷͚̭i̶͕͋n̵͓̈́̓ͅt̶̻͔͝ ̵̛̻̀n̵̹͎͝e̵͔͒̉x̴͉̜͒t̷̗̠̑.̵͎̲̄̇"

Sai looked up at the sky again, only to see it, blank. No black. No pink. No white. It was there… but there was nothing at the same time.

"As much as I desire…" With a curious wave of his hand, Sai willed a blue sky and shining sun into existence.

He could see the blue. He could feel its warmth. He knew for a fact that what had come to be was without question real… but at the same time…

With another wave of his hand, he looked to the side with the barest hint of anticipation, but was rewarded with nothing.

"Haaah. I guess that was too much to hope for." He smiled and shook his head in self-pity. Of course he couldn't bring his friends here. That was asking for too much. For now at least.

He started to walk to his new home, to his new task. He would be here for a long time, no doubt. Painting. Drawing. Recording. But that was fine. He was used to being alone, and watching what happened to his friends and keeping track of things would keep himself occupied. Every moment. Every joy. Every sorrow. He would be there for them, at least in spirit, and paint it all down. Friends. Family. Hopes. Dreams…

Wait. Speaking of dreams…

Suddenly, an idea of pure twisted malice and glee crossed his mind. One that could have only be spawned by someone that had been around the Oogakari and Naruto for an extended period of time.

Turning to a blank section of the world around him, Sai waved his hand a third time…

… And in front of him, an Olympic sized pool materialized.

Full of Ramen.

Naruto may have said that Sai had won at everything forever earlier, but even he would never have expected his friend to beat him here as well.

They may have been friends, but true to form among those in their group, Sai had his own list of grievances against Naruto over the years.

In this case, revenge was a dish served hot. With pork and lots of noodles.

It was noted that for the next five days, even though he was unconscious and unresponsive, nurses that were in charge of Naruto's recovery stated that the blonde boy would frequently shed tears and call out to his deceased friend in anguish.

o. o. █.

Eons from where Sai was enjoying his petty vengeance. Countless lengths of universes away from the blank slate he was residing in, over endless equally blank canvases of reality that linked together perfectly, further and further, was the three colored strips he had witnessed just moments ago that blocked out the sky.

No, they were not strips.

Sai was simply too close to see them in their entirety.

Likewise, he needed to be that close in order to be seen at all.

Z̵̧̛̛̉̉͊̂͐̀̇̒̏̊̅͋̆̐͋̀̍͂̿̕͘ư̴͖̞̻̟̠̞̹̗̼̘̪̓̃̄̐́̐̅͋̑̍̚͘̕z̸̳̦͒ų̷͓̜̤͎̭͍͖̝̀̔̃̈̃̅͌͆͂̎̀̐̍̒̓̆̓̈͛̎̂̇̈́̒̚͝͝͠s̶͖̙̯̭̟̪̑h̶͙̥̣̜͎̜̺͈̝̥͙́̀͌͘͝į̷̛̲̦͈̗͔̻̯͉̦̊͐̍̀͆̌̀̂̓̽͊̊́̊̋̄̑͛̈͑͐̚̕̚͝͝ turned her head away from the infinitesimally meaningless speck that was residing on one of her brilliant and ever valuable scales, each one a world, a realm, a reality in of itself, and looked at you.

"Ẁ̶̢͓̗̥͍̭̘͉̻͍̰̮̗̥͉̥̤̎̓̃͌̊̑̓̐̔̋̉̀̽͐̎͐̋̄̑̾̓̂͊͌͘͘̕͜͜͝e̷̡̡̡̡̨̯͚͇̟̙͉̝̜̻̳̱͖̦̪̻̭̗͖͗͊̄͋͑͂͑̇͗̔͑̓̈́͐̒̒́͒̓͘͜͝ͅͅl̷͚̖͚̎͗̌͋͊̍̎̋̈̚͝ļ̸̧̬̬̫͈̩̥̗̟̟͖̖̫̼̌͝ͅ?̴̢͉̦̞͔͎͔̖͔̝͍̭̼̪̺̒̎̉̈͒̅̏͘̚͘͝͝͝͝ ̶̨͎͙͓̣͇̲̝̜̠͓̰̲̼̤̾̉̋̐́͛͋͐̎́́̎̈́̆̀͊̽̓̓̌̄͜͠͝ Ȟ̶̢̫͓̮̒̄̀̂̊̓͌̈́̃̉̾̓̉̀̈́́͠ä̷̡͖̞͚̰̝̠̥̠̼͈̲̮͇̩͈́̑́̇̈́̉̑̉̂̎͛̈́͛̄͆̇̀͛̅̚̕͜͠͝͠ͅͅͅv̶̧̨̧̯̦̥̣̫̟̫̆̅̏̿̉̏̅͑̋͌̈̍̀̌͋̌͊̚é̸̘͔͕͖̋̅̈́͛ ̷̧̡̧̼̺̜͔̼̹̫͚̫̘̰̪̗̪̌̿̅͝ỷ̴̢̧̯͈̻̼̜̺̟̤̙̯̺̭̩̙͕͚̥̀͑͌̚o̷͖̘̜͍̩̫̩̤͍̖̘̜͂́̊̌͒̍̒ų̶͈̜̳̤̯̲͈̞̙͎͈̟͔̞̮̬͓̻̯͖͇̜̣̞̼̐́́̆͑̆͑̔̏͊̈̂͋͜͝ͅ ̷̛͍͍͖̝͖̬̖͉̞͉̤͎̟̖̰̘͙͕̗̋͒̀̍͌̄́͛̈́̍̒̇͋͆̎͋̈́̾̈́̀̕͝͠e̶̜̖̝͈̋͑̐̎̿̾̒͌̒̈́̀͂̊̽̉͑̊̓̆̈͝͝͝n̷̠̱̽͆̄̎͂̓̾̍͐͜j̷̻̼̳͈̮̼̯̀̀̌̈́ͅơ̵̥̰̲͚̱̰͖͔̘͙̞͇̣̦͗͂̅̄̓̏͋̄̀̀͒͆̅̓̀̎̈̑̕͠͝͠͝y̸̧̛̛̟̰̜͔͕̠̜̪͙̘͑̏̍̒͛̅̀͊̓̉̎̈́̓̈́̐̃̍̊͂̈̂̃̕͘͠͠e̴̡͈̞͙̅́d̸̦̭̗͔͕̹͖̝͚͔̣̮͔̭̳͛̍̅̓̈́̆̓̋͂̊͐̍̂̈́̈́̋̃̌̍͊̃͜͜͝ͅ ̴̧̰͍̪̣̝̜̲̼͔̞͚͚̿̅̓͆̔̂̎͑̈́́͋̂̀̓̿͝ͅṁ̴̟͊̃̌́̈̀́̽̉͊̂̒̋͒̇͠ÿ̴̧̨̧̡̰̫̭͕̦̥̫̺̮̟̩̦̰̳̼̠̣̯́ͅͅ ̷̮͓̮͖̺̦̟̱̘̼͋͐̽̌͋̑͆̑͑͊͗̏͂͒̐̄̓͘ẹ̵̢̯̺̈́̍̈͗̅͆͛̌͑̍̈́͗̃̾̚̕͘̕͝ņ̸̛͓̙̩͎̰̲̞̜̱̣͓̤͇̟͈͂̔̿̐́̑̇͗͌̄͐́̌̾͊̑͋̾͝͠t̴̛͕̩̤͓͚̼̞̞̙̜̬͕͉̻̟̥͖͎̰̮̥̄̅̎ê̶̞̹̹͖̰͉̠͈̣̭͚͐͒̓̈́̏͒̄̿́̽͠r̴͙̊̈̀̈̕͠ẗ̶̨̡̝͓͈̝̣͕̙͕͎̼̲̺͙̼́̾̈́̇̈́̑̓͊̃͛̄̈́́̅́̍̈́̈́͝͝á̶̧̨̧̡̪͚̞̦̳̹̪̰̺̀̾̾͗͌͛̀͐͋́͑̀̐͒͘̕͝į̵̨̞͉͈̟̹̯̀̌́͂̋̎͂̔̂̓̈́͛͒̑͊̕͘̕͝n̸̨̡̛̲̰̥̖̱̤͈͎̝̤͙͔̼̗̳̯̹̳̏͒̈́̏̒̒͌͗͌͊̓̇̎̍̈́̄́̔͗̂̓͘͘̚͝͠m̵͉̺͇̣͙̠̯̻̬̬̐͂̋̾̅͑͗̿̅̐̔̄̂̑̒͆̊͘͝ͅè̷̠̳̬̱̱̮̹̠̞̈́͒̔̈͝n̶͖̳̠̖͊̈̂́ͅt̶̡̡͇͕͔̞̙̖͉̟̯͔͓͕͚͎̰̙̝̲̦̥͍̣̮̬̍̓̊̈̃̾͗̒́̓͐͜͜ͅ?̸̢̤̼̘͖̖̲͎̳͈͎̯̻̜͕͇̻̘̰̅̐̈́̀"

o. o. o.

Omake: Salt in the wound:

Jiraiya sighed as he sat on top of a seemingly random building in Konoha as the clock turned past midnight. It was an unremarkable location, but it did give him a good view of Naruto's apartment. The place was still in a shithole location, but over the years of Naruto's reputation finally getting better and his friends keeping tabs on it, the building itself had managed to clean up well enough. It would never be hot selling property, but people wouldn't turn their nose up at the idea of living in it now.

Then again, after today, who knows how people would react to the place? They might have to legitimately move Naruto to his parents' property if things turned messy.

"So this is where you were hiding."

The Sanin felt two shinobi approach him from behind. He could tell that they were relatively strong, but after what he had just experienced… yeah, it was hard to treat anyone that wasn't Kage level seriously anymore. Still, who was he to turn down a woman? "If I was hiding, do you really think I'd be found at all?"

"From what I've been told, you have a tendency of coming rather quickly with the right motivation." The woman hummed with a hint of seductiveness in her tone. Judging from her voice, she was around his age, but then again so was Tsunade, and that never stopped him before.

Recovering from a major battle and having severe nerve damage did though.

"Not sure if you've heard, but I've been in a bit of a blender recently." He chuckled. "As much as I brag about my prowess, I'm not exactly in performing shape right now, miss…" He turned around to look at his guests to see two kunoichi. Both beautiful and with curves in all the right places. One was in fact his age while the other was young, but hid most of her figure under a white cloak.

What he noticed most of all was their headbands, which indicated that they were from the little known Nadeshko village. A place he hadn't been to in decades. Not since… wait.

The elder woman gave him a strained smile, as if knowing that the upcoming conversation would be an awkward and uncomfortable one for everyone involved. "I believe that we need to have a discussion about a vow you made to my recently departed Master, Lord Jiraiya. If my information is accurate, Naruto Uzumaki is your disciple, correct?"

The Toad Sage verified her inquisition by groaning in frustration and dropping his face into his hands.

Never, in all of his life, in fiction or reality, had the idea of hooking anyone up with a beautiful young woman turned him off as it did right now.

Somewhere across the village, Shadow Oogakari sensed a challenge that needed to be accepted.

o. o. o.

Ladies and Gentlemen. For your listening pleasure, and to celebrate the events of this chapter: Can't Go To Hell, by Sin Shake Sin.

Walk right in all you sinners and saints
Tonight's the night we're gonna take off these chain0s
Some wounds will never mend
It came with a warning, now we're all out of time
This romance with ignorance has left us behind

Sit back, relax, begin

It's too early for surrender
Too late for a prayer
We can't go to hell if we're already there
They say the end is coming
And I need to prepare
We can't go to hell if we're already there

It's no mystery, what can I say, we're blind by design
And history keeps getting paid to change it's mind
Some wounds will never mend
Divided by deception, but together we must rise
Deafened by the naive while we silence the wise

Sit back, relax, begin

It's too early for surrender
Too late for a prayer
We can't go to hell if we're already there
They say the end is coming
And I need to prepare
We can't go to hell if we're already there

Turn that fear into a souvenir
The world is waiting and the hour's near
So if you need a reason
If you need a sign
Open up you're eyes
You'll see they stole your water
Turned it into wine

Sit back, relax, begin

It's too early for surrender
Too late for a prayer
We can't go to hell if we're already there
They say the end is coming
And I need to prepare
We can't go to hell if we're already there

o. o. o.

A/N:

As always, thanks Kagaseo for betaing.

And thus! FINALLY! The Iwa clusterfuck arc is OVER! REJOICE!

Lots of mind screws this chapter! Lots of buildup for future plot! Lots of disappointment to be had because I'm moving onto my other stories because fuck this shit!

I'm going to write one chapter of GAIWP, and then back to FFD! Yes really! It's not dead! Please don't hate me!

Ok, so seriously though? I was just on vacation for a week. No internet. No email. Nothing. Spent time with the family. Got some skin color, finally. Did some snorkeling. Jumped off a cliff. And nearly had heat stroke playing minigolf. All in all, it was a fun cruise. Apparently we missed the heat wave that hit the states, not that it felt much different in Bermuda.

Sister got a job. It's not at google, but she's crunching numbers at a startup that looks like it's prime material for being bought by a major soft drink company in a few years. She's moving to boston in a few weeks, and is excited to move closer to some friends and finally out of the house.

Writing all of this extra crap while waiting for the plane back home. Still half asleep tbh.

If anyone can, please update the TV tropes pages for this fic. Mostly for the characters and funny sections. There's a lot of loving that needs to be done there.

What else? Works work. Life's life. I'm starting to run out of things to rant about…

(Ghost whispers from off screen) *2020 elections are starting*

(Me holding a gun to my head) Nope. Absolutely nothing to rant about. My faith in humanity has never existed, and there watching the news is for chumps! HAHA! HAHAHAHA! EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY FINE!

… People ruin everything.

Aaaaah. So what else? Lord El Melloi Case files is good, as expected. FGO summer run 2 is happening soon, so I'm rolling for Caster Nero and Lancer Raiko. Maybe Rider Alter if I get lucky.

Gotta get back in shape. Ate too much crap on the trip. I don't regret it in the slightest, but from experience, being in shape is better than being on the heavier side of things.

Doesn't change the fact that healthy eating sucks and working out kills most of my free time.

So, that's about it. TTRT is being put on the back burner while I start working on my other projects again. Thanks for being so patient with me guys.

Right! Shirts! That annoyance! OK! So. I still haven't figured out how to make Teespring keep my shirts available yet, which is a pain in the ass, so what I'll do is try to renew them on the site every time I post a new chapter. It's not an ideal fix but it's the best I've got. I've updated my profile to have data on what shirts I have and how to find them on the very bottom of it, so it should be easy for everyone to find now. Sorry if it's a headache but the website is not easy for creators at times.

Also, I may have made a new tshirt design that fans of GAIWP may enjoy.

#Pleasebuymyshitimeanshirt

Oh, almost forgot. Between all my main stories, I'm almost at 20k reviews total. Nuts right? And its all thanks to you crazy degenerates who think that what I make is entertaining. Thanks. All of you.

We only need 200ish more and the 20k mark is met. Let's see if we can pull it off before I post the next chapter of whatever the hell I make.

Thanks again guys. I wouldn't have gone so long doing this if it weren't for everyone letting me know how much they like it.

TF out.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! M. NIGHT. SHAMALUMPUS HAS GOT SHIT ON THE PLOT TWISTS I PULL! AND REVIEW AGAIN FOR THE BIG 20K!