9ﾋﾀｷﾞ 蟹 - 1.3
With Kisshot in tow I left the classroom, my foot barely crossing the threshold, when, I felt something odd. It was an aura of Killing Intent, very strong and very close. In fact, it was right behind us.
"What were you two talking to Hanekawa-san about?" said a lofty female voice.
I turned around, and a hand reached out for me-most likely Kisshot's, but it was too late. Unlike when she was at the top of her form, she hadn't been paying attention to her surroundings as much. If she had been, then we probably would have launched into a full-scale war. So in a way I'm happy that she was daydreaming.
Even though the voice was unfamiliar, I had an inkling of who it was. Though I was 100% sure that I had heard it before, it was like trying to remember a scattered dream. A greyscale image of an assertive young woman with dark hair flashed in my mind. Yes, that's right, during class, it was that girl.
The girl that I caught.
From that malice-laden question alone, I realized that Senjougahara had been listening to us the entire time. Probably seething at my unusual interest in her.
"Both of you don't move," she ordered.
Yes, 'seething' would be the right word to describe her face, wouldn't it?
And I just happened to be the outlet of this unexpressed anger towards me.
She had become the wielder of the Subtle Knife, aiming with almost professional precision, cutting through time and space. Just to place a box-cutter into my mouth.
I really should have been more careful myself, to be honest. I should have dodged, but I didn't.
That was the third fallacy.
Cold and unforgiving, the box-cutter touched the inside of my left cheek. It was surprisingly sensitive to the disturbance, and I could feel the blade hovering over the flesh, waiting to strike. It was a cobra and my cheek was the prey.
"..." Kisshot said nothing. She was frozen in shock herself. For a moment in this light she resembled a doll—no, a statue of a blonde Angel. In stark contrast to that image, I training my eyes to look ahead, only to behold the Devil herself.
Senjougahara.
"...!"
She was smiling wider than that cat from Alice in Wonderland—never a good sign for a cute girl with a weapon.
"Ah, let me correct myself," she informed us in the coldest tone imaginable. "'You may move if you want to, but it could have dangerous, undesirable results' would be more accurate in this situation."
This was a joke, right? Another 'devil' come to hunt 'demons', right? If I had to choose between this and a guillotine collar, I think I'd prefer the collar. Especially with such a girl facing me.
Because, you see…I am afraid, but not of the cutter-knife. I could smash this thing with a simple clench of my fist.
No, I was terrified of Senjougahara, who, whilst unknowingly threatened to expose the secret of two half-vampires, stared at me with unwavering arctic eyes.
Had she...
'No, let me rephrase that...'
Had I ever seen her wear such a confident expression? It was the stoic look of a seasoned war veteran! As if she's killed before.
I'm shaking now. I have a revved up healing factor, but yes, I'm shaking.
She isn't bluffing. I can see it reflected in her two dark mirrors that the blade is millimeters away from slicing my mouth open.
"Your curiosity is disgusting—much like a cockroach rooting though others discarded trash. Secrets are meant to stay that way. I should squish you two roaches."
"H-hey..." said Kisshot, but was quickly interrupted.
Senjougahara's head turned to my left a fraction of a centimeter. Her eyes flashed with a strange steel-like glint. "Oh? What's wrong? Is your friend's right cheek feeling lonely?" Her voice was saccharine yet emotionless, the perfect combination for a horror movie's villain.
Obviously she didn't come here for idle chit-chat from us.
"You could have told me so in the first place."
At least we could take a hint. Kisshot didn't attempt to speak anymore. I get it, were supposed to listen, right?
Senjougahara raised her left hand as if to punch me. Instead, she was holding yet another weapon: a stapler. Just where was she keeping these things? There were two pinpricks resting on the inside of my right check now, for she had slipped the stapler's end into my mouth as well.
"Ah~," said Senjougahara, like a doctor asking to look down a child's throat. Though, instead of one of those wooden tongue depressors, she had chosen to put a stapler.
"So here was what you two were going to do, right? Ask around to everyone I know about me until you find the answers you seek, right?"
Her face twisted into one of violent disgust. "I never thought there would be a banana peel on the stairs."
Spring break was a strange, if not unforgettable time. Why? Simple. It was because I was attacked by a vampire. It's hard to imagine in this modern day and age. Saying the least, she was beautiful. Yes, all I can say is that she was…no, she is a breathtaking beauty. How twisted is that? A beautiful monster (what a contradiction)-an extremely beautiful monster. Kisshot is the most beautiful monster I could ever imagine.
She hasn't changed much from that day, though she's only half as powerful as before.
I can't say I'm worse off. Being only half comes with some perks.
Because of Oshino, we both could live semi-normal lives – we can handle sunlight, crosses and garlic – but we still retained all of the strengths of vampires. We were just like that hunter that first hunter that I had faced. What was his name? Dramaturgie.
Speaking of the strengths of a vampire, I could probably heal up very quickly if she did choose to strike. However…what if someone passing by happened to see?
We would have to move away, wouldn't we?
"You realized it when you caught me, didn't you?" asked Senjougahara, "I have no weight."
She smirked. "Well…not exactly."
What did she mean by 'not exactly'?
"For my height and figure, my expected weight should be around 90 pounds."
She's probably 110 pounds by my estimate. That would be easy enough for a vampire like me to carry.
"But my weight at this moment is…eleven pounds."
Impossible. That's like… a gallon and a half of milk or a tiny dog!
An image of small terrier pooped up in the theatre of my mind, but it wasn't anywhere close to zero. However, if we're comparing that to a teenage girl…of course it would be easy to catch her as she fell. That much weight would mean that she hardly had any density, wouldn't it? She rambles on about feeling no different than usual, but shouldn't her organs have ceased to function? Gravity must not be her friend at the moment. Is it even a struggle to stand upright?
She must feel more at home on the moon then here on Earth.
It happened during the transition between middle and high school, apparently.
"..."
"I met a crab," she confessed confidently, as if there was no way in hell I was going to survive this encounter. "It stole my weight."
So the only people who know of her strange problem are the school doctor…
"…Oshino-chan, and Arararagi-kun." She bit her lip. "Sorry, I stuttered."
'That was on purpose!'
"So now, will you keep your mouths shut?" The box cutter and stapler prod the inside of my mouth. "Sorry, I misspoke. I mean 'you will keep your mouths shut'. Or else." She licked her lips. "I'll staple them shut, alright? And drink the blood that spills from your lips." Her azure eyes looked to my left again, where Kisshot was most likely staring at her just as fiercely.
The rumors of her sickness were not unwarranted, for many a reason. This girl was sick in the head as well!
"Are you going to pity me? Araragi-kun? How kind. But I don't want pity."
Her mouth curved into another soul-searching smile. "What I want is silence and indifference from you and Oshino-chan. Can you do that?"
I could feel a dark aura emanating from her, and it was giving me chills.
"Araragi-kun, Oshino-chan, if you can promise me silence and indifference, nod twice. I will treat any other action as an offensive move and will seek my retribution upon your false promises."
Left with no choice, I nodded twice. I sensed Kisshot did the same.
"I see. Thank you." The box cutter was retreating now, its departure achingly slow—methodically so. She put away the cutter-knife . It was the staplers turn no—
CLICK!
Smiling, Senjougahara sunk the stapler into my cheek, and before I crumpled to the ground she removed it, slipping it back into her uniform sleeve.
The two points of pain spread throughout my cheek, and I clutched it as I fell. "Ugh!"
"How extraordinary, you won't scream," said Senjougahara, looking at me as I were the cockroach she still wished to crush. "But you're still pretty pathetic."
"Y-you…"
Click.
I shuddered in reaction to the sound, my words I had prepared for her already dissolving in my mind. The only thing I could see was her school shoes from my position.
Her tone became friendly, sweet even. "All right then, you two, please make sure to ignore me starting tomorrow, alright?"
"What a she-devil of a girl," muttered Kisshot. Now Killing Intent was radiating from her as well.
Senjougahara hadn't pierced through the flesh so it wasn't that bad, actually. I guess I was more surprised that she did it than the actual act of stapling. Oh well.
Blood pooled into my mouth when I jerked the staple out, and I licked the two holes left by that demonic girl.
"Uh, why are you still here, Araragi-kun?" Hanekawa was just walking out of the classroom now, so that exchange was probably longer than it felt. "Shouldn't you hurry to Oshino-san's place?"
How did she not hear all of that? I mean, Senjougahara was able to spy on us through the walls!
"Hanekawa," said Kisshot, her stare blazing like fire. "Do you happen to like bananas?"
"Well, not in particular, but—," began the Class Rep, thinking about the many uses of bananas, most likely.
"Well, if you eat one on campus," said Kisshot while baring her fangs, "especially while on the staircase, I will make sure I eat you."
"What?!"
"Pick up thine things, Servant." I could have sworn I saw tears in the corner of her eyes. Immediately I obeyed, taking up my schoolbag in my right hand.
With that, Kisshot took my left hand and began to lead me in the direction that Senjougahara had stalked off to. We were standing on the top of the staircase, while she was halfway down the flight. She didn't even turn around, but somehow she guessed correctly that it was Kisshot and I.
"Astounding," she said, "No, I should truly be flabbergasted. You are the first to rebound so quickly after that, Araragi-kun."
"The…first?" Of course, there must have been others.
"I didn't expect you would have recovered from the pain in your cheek so quickly. You shouldn't have been able to move from where you fell." She was half talking to herself it seemed. "All right, I get it. I understand now, you two. I hope you're prepared for this," said Senjougahara. As turned, she stretched her hands out, an impossible assortment of improbable weapons came rushing out. First her left then her right hand, the seemingly mundane items flocked. Pens, box-cutters, staplers, they gathered in clumps around her hands. Sharpened pencils, mechanical pencils, safety pins, all were wedged in between her fingers. Rolls of tape were held in between her thumbs and index fingers. Scissors, rulers, ink pots, the list could go on.
"Let's go to war," she hissed.
I backed away from the gathering weapons. "…you're wrong. We don't want to fight."
"You don't?" If I didn't know better, she was disappointed by this fact. Still, she didn't put away her supplies. Instead they shone in the waning afternoon light.
"Then what do you want?"
"This is just a possibility, but," I said, "I might be able to help you."
"Help me? I'll treat your kindness as an act of hostility," she said, as she took a step towards me.
That's why, without saying anything, I showed her the inside of my cheek.
She gasped—that same intake of surprise from the day she had fallen. Her grip on her weapons of mass destru—I mean, school supplies, loosened, and all of them clattered to the ground. "How is that...possible?"
Exactly. The wound had already healed without a trace. Note even the smell of blood remained.
That is why; I ended up loading down my bike with not one, but two teenage girls. Kisshot insisted on sitting on my handlebars, while Senjougahara took up my passenger seat.
"Oshino – Oshino-san?" said Senjougahara, questioning me if the honorific was appropriate. I could understand the confusion. After all, "Meme" isn't that common of a first name. Does it even have a gender, I wonder? As for myself, I don't use honorifics for him anymore, for obvious reasons.
"That's right. Oshino Meme," I said, concentrating more on pedaling my bike up a rather steep hill.
"Oshino Meme, hmm? Is he perhaps, that one's father?"
Sengjouhara realized their surnames were the same, but I wasn't surprised she had noticed—Oshino isn't a very common name either.
I heard the nearly inaudible growl Kisshot had mustered up in the back of her throat. She was blocking my view by sitting on the handlebars, but it even with her staying there it wasn't that bad of a view. "Don't call me 'that one', human."
Why she didn't bother slipping into my shadow was beyond my understanding.
"I see. So he is your father?"
Kisshot buried her malice quickly once again. She didn't respond so I explained for us both.
"For the sake of formality, he is, in a way. That's the last name I tacked on so my parents wouldn't become suspicious."
"Oh, so she lives with you," said Senjougahara. It wasn't a question, but I wasn't going to admit to anything she was probably going to imply.
"That's none of your business," I said.
"What irritable characters you both are," she responded. "If I didn't know better, I would call you 'tsundere'."
"How can you say such things so easily?"
She ignored me, it seemed.
"But going by that logic, they would also call my character 'tsundere', wouldn't they?" she mused aloud.
I laughed to myself. Senjougahara must be mistaken—I think they call her character a 'yangire' or something along those lines. However, 'Tundra' would be the most accurate to describe her default state.
It takes about twenty minutes to get to Oshino's cram-school fortress of solitude. However, I was in a hurry, so I ended up shaving off about 5 minutes.
'Dangerous.' 'Access prohibited.' These were only some of the signs we met long the way to seeing Oshino. We stopped off near the chain link fence. Kisshot and Senjouhara hopped off of my bike and stood off to the side. After I secured it to the fence using my lock, I noticed they were staring at me, but I couldn't understand why.
But for some reason I noticed something. Like Kisshot, she was empty-handed. If that was the case, how was she #2 in our class?
"I was wondering, where's your bag?"
Senjouhara scoffed at me and looked away.
"I already know what's in out textbooks. That's why I leave them in my locker. If I have my supplies, I don't need a bag since I don't need a change of clothes for physical education either."
"I see." I nodded. That made perfect sense if you thought about it. Adding in Moon-Girl's apparent weight, a bag would probably be more of a burden than usual.
"Besides, if I don't have my hands free, I won't be able to fight."
That violent expression again? I thought we were past all the violence. "Geez… It's going to take quite a bit of patience to deal with someone like you, isn't it?" Running my hand though my hair, I couldn't help but smile. She wasn't going to trust us that easily, I knew.
Senjougahara was like a feral cat.
She pursed her lips. "Araragi-kun, that sentence only heightens your character's moé, you know?" teased Senjougahara, her voice surprisingly hollow.
One pale hand rose up from the darkness to interrupt out conversation. It was Kisshot. She was holding her hand out toward Senjougahara, palm up, as if asking for something.
"I'll hold your school supplies," she said.
The other girl didn't move, but if she would've, Senjogahara probably would have stepped back in surprise.
"What?"
Kisshot gestured with her hand again, ready for the supplies. "I'll hold them for you, so take them out." Her voice became harder, her wording a little less polite.
This was trouble.
"Why?"
Bad idea to ask. Kisshot is a three-strike kind of girl.
"Oshino is in a way, my Chichiue, as you said," explained my Master. "Besides." Her pupils became slits, her eyes brilliant, almost glowing, they matched the sun's waning golden rays perfectly. "After what you did to Koyomi-dono, do you think I would expose him such a dangerous party? I'll hold onto your things." The sugar-sweet tenor she adopted was only a ruse—I could tell she was pretty pissed off. "Or…Koyomi-dono and I can share a lite snack." A pair of cotton candy lips spread apart to reveal a set of sparkling white teeth. Kisshot passed her tongue over the exposed fangs.
"I didn't expect you to say that after we'd arrived." Senjougahara glared at me, but then the intensity of her icy stare melted away. Her pensive—no, pleading? "You tricked me, didn't you?" Her voice wasn't as strong as it had been before.
In fact, she sounded scared out of her mind.
