310A/N: I couldn't stay away from fanfiction for long. I'm re-writing The Subject. Here's the first chapter.
The Subject
I. Dark
A lost dream; that's the only thing I can remember. I am alive. I am conscious. But I do not see. There is air in my lungs but I do not feel. There is blood in my veins but it does not rush, it settles deep into the marrow and stays there, stagnant as the muscles in my flesh. I can breathe out, which I must do in order to take another breath in, but the air never returns to sender. I do not feel, but I do recognize the urge of panic. I do not feel the air in my lungs but I know if I don't somehow bring it back then I will die. Will that blackness be worse than this one?
I should have never killed myself.
Nails scratch overhead, hitting hard plastic. A plastic coffin. I still cannot see, but I have my sense of touch now, and what I feel, burns. My lungs. I must breathe. Breathe. Much thrashing now, if only to capture the ear of someone kind enough to lend a hand. Please, God, I'd do anything to see, anything to make this burning sensation go away, anything for a bated breath.
Just when my limbs grow limp, a flash of light beams into my eyes. Sight, and then blinding. Too bright. But the air has finally returned and it is goddamn heavenly.
"What the hell, how could this happen?" A question. How is there a voice?
"I don't know… maybe some wiring in her chamber fried during the last incident." A response. Warm hands touching my cold, wet skin.
"Whatever. Check the vitals, then put it back down." The voice is male, and gruff.
"Sir, I can't do that. Our handbook specifically states that when the Subjects wake up, they cannot sleep for forty-eight hours or they might go into shock."
A sigh. "Alright. Just check the vitals and try to keep it calm. I've already dealt with enough bullshit today, I can't have this one shedding tears on me."
"Yes, sir."
I try to speak up, but I don't have control of my vocal cords. Slowly, my surroundings become known. The blinding white light recedes into colors, and vague shapes. Gray, bright blue, and black. A long hallway.
"Hello?" A voice asks while I feel pressure on my wrist. "Are you conscious?"
I blink, and a face slowly morphs into view. A round, sweet face, with full lips wrapped around a becoming smile. Long, red hair. Brown eyes with kindness in them.
I guess I'm not dead. Might as well talk.
I try, but my vocal cords only quiver.
"Here," the vague shape, which I now realize is a pretty, young woman, hands over a glass rimmed with silver, swirling liquid. I stare at it.
"Don't worry, it's basically just water on steroids."
I shrug, and down the hatch it goes. It's delicious, but when the cup is finished I notice a very peculiar aftertaste, like the way a hospital smells. Am I in a hospital? I clear my throat. It feels normal, now.
I clear my throat again. "Am I in a hospital?"
"Yes," the girl smiles and take the glass away. "You've been asleep for a long time. Do you know what's going on? You might have some trouble regaining your memories for a while."
"I killed myself."
"Yes you did." The nurse says with a bubbliness in her voice.
"But I'm here."
"Yes you are."
"Did I not do it right?" I ask.
She shrugs, "No, you did it just fine. But the universe isn't done with you yet." She motions for me to rise out of the coffin, which I realize isn't a coffin at all. It's a rectangular tank filled with a thick, but clear liquid. I also notice that I'm naked. "Here," she hands me a small towel, and I wrap myself up promptly. "Sorry about that. Are you dizzy? Do you need to lie down? Are you in control? Sorry, I'm kind of new at this. Well, not really, but-"
I fucking slip, and land hard on the floor, right on my knees.
"Shoot-" the girl rushes over to grasp onto my arms and lift me up. "Sorry about that, too. You shouldn't be able to walk correctly for a little while, but that's normal."
"Am I in hell?
"No, but you're close." She reaches out and grasps my hand and shakes it slightly. "I'm Orihime, I'm your nurse, so if you have any questions, you ask me, okay?"
I nod.
She begins running all matters of tests on me, from temperature to mouth swab, recording everything she does on a digital notepad. It only takes a few minutes, and I just bare with it. Must be standard hospital procedure.
"I'm going to move you into a room, okay? I'm tired of this damn hallway."
I look around. The hospital was a hallway of sorts. Long, and thin, with blue and white lights zigzagging across cold metal walls. There are hundreds of other rectangular coffins lining the walls, going all the way down and all the way up to the ceiling which had to be at least fifty feet. Orihime ushers me into a wheelchair and starts pushing me down the hall. There are other people around, all in long white coats, the same as Orihime. I receive a full range of looks, from menacing to disgusted, from soft-eyed to indifference, but Orihime says hello to each and every one of them.
"Oh, hey, Uryu!" She calls out, waving a hand above her. A tall, thin man with short, black hair pauses in his tracks. He wears a long, dark gray suit and spectacles. He stands still until Orihime pushes me practically up against his socks. "Hey, Uryu, do you know what room a Subject would go in? I know she's a year early, but we had a fried wire in her stasis tank, or something. I don't know."
"Why would I know? You're the nurse."
"Yeah, but you're the smart one. I know you read everyone elses' manual, not just yours."
Uryu sighs, and puts a fingertip to his glasses in concentration. "Um, let me think… Section 5, uh… let's just say the third floor. No one goes up there."
"Does the elevator still work in that area?"
"Yeah, Renji mentioned that he just fixed it about a week or two ago. Don't know why, no one ever uses it."
"Thanks!" Orihime chirps and then instantly totes me off down the hallway further before sharply turning the corner. "Shouldn't take long to get there, Subject, don't worry. Everything is kept pretty clean, too, even the spaces we don't use. It should be nice for you to live in."
"My name is Rukia."
"Yes." She replies.
"So why don't you call me that, instead?" I quip, and cross my arms. I'm just trying to go with the flow and avoid a freak out, but this is getting annoying. "Also, I would like to leave as soon as these legs allow me."
"That's not going to be possible, I'm afraid." She turns another corner, almost hitting a man in the process.
"Watch it!" He turns to Orihime. "What's that thing doing up so early anyway? Put it away!"
We both watch him sulk off down the hallway, notepad in hand. Orihime simply scoffs and continues pushing. The area is thinning itself out, with less lights, people, and things. A machine or two lies in almost every hallway, but they look old, and abandoned, but too heavy to be bothered to mess with. It seems like the farther we move, the more dated the hospital gets. In fact, it's starting to not look like a hospital at all, but more of a hotel. Numbered rooms line every wall, and some even have plants or welcome mats in front of them. After a few moments, though, the welcome mats disappear all together, and we find ourselves in front of an elevator. Orihime presses a button, and the doors ding open. We reach the third floor and empty out, and Orihime only walks a few paces and then settles for room 302. She opens it up and glides me in first, flicking on the light as she does so. The room is simple, with a nice, large bed with white sheets, a metal dresser, a digital clock, and what looks to be a television set into the wall. There's a door, but it's closed. I'm assuming it's a bathroom.
"Well, here we are." She wheels me over to the bed. "Wrap your arms around my neck, and I'll help you into bed."
"No, I think I can do it." I wave her off, and with arms quivering, rise from the chair and practically fall into the bed that's a foot away. I even myself out and Orihime tucks me in.
"I'll send up some more liquids for you, but no solids for another twelve hours."
"Twelve hours?" I repeat.
"Yes." She smiles,but then adds a quick, "sorry," before saying, "I'm going to notify Ichigo that your vitals are complete and that you're in recess. Feel free to walk around, but you'll probably get lost, so I wouldn't suggest it. The television has plenty of channels to watch, you should be fine." She starts to close the door, her hand pausing on the knob. "Oh wait! Here," she approaches me, and places a small black pill in my palm. "I almost forgot this. You need to take it so you don't sleep. You can't sleep for forty-eight hours."
I stare at the black pill. Threatening and comforting all at the same time. I must be having a moment because Orihime clears her throat and pats me on the wrist. "While I'm still young, dear. Sorry."
"You're going to watch me swallow it?" I ask.
"I have to. If you sleep now, there's a possibility that you will die. And I think once is enough, don't you?" She smiles. I resist the urge to roll my eyes, and down the pill without any water. She opens my mouth and checks to see if I faked it, but I took it whole. She pats me on the cheek and then leaves without another word. The door seals the void, and I'm left alone, again. Alone, alone, alone.
Alone.
A/N: Reviews are always, always, ALWAYS appreciated. Thank you guys.
-Emily
