21Author's Note:
I wrote this before DOFP came out and it was meant to be the beginning of the next chapter of 'My Name is Max'. As it happens, I've decided to time skip forward about six months and so this segment no longer has a home.
Consider this a 'deleted scene' that takes place in December, after Logan and Raven's departure but before Christmas (and Alex's departure).
Chapter 10: Understanding Raven
Hank keeps him busy with Cerebro throughout much of November and early December, the scale and precision of the metal work needed to line the massive underground sphere greatly accelerated with Erik's help. It's a distraction he appreciates; he can admit (to himself anyway) that it's been difficult watching Charles mourn Logan's departure, an aura of melancholy hanging over his ex-lover projected via the Professor's body language if not his mind.
Surprisingly, Charles seems to have taken his parting with Raven much easier, though Erik knows better than to question him about it directly. The topic does come up though one cold rainy evening in the study, as Charles grumbles good-naturedly about the School's schedule, juggling teachers and timeslots to cover Logan's old classes.
"Should I be worried?" Charles asks, the light tone doing little to mask his underlying concern, his eyes darting from the chessboard to Erik and back again. "Have there been any issues with Raven essentially taking over your role?"
Erik snorts, rubbing the chess piece absently between his fingers as he contemplates the next move. "Her new role is her old role; she already runs the majority of The Brotherhood's Ops. Mystique is well respected and if she does have any problems she'll know how to handle them, Charles. She's quite capable you know."
"Indeed," the Professor answers, humming quietly - perhaps to soften the mild reproach in his next words. "You would know much better than I do, Erik, what Raven is like now. Though if we're being honest, I hardly think I knew her all that well when she was still living here.
"For a long time I didn't understand," Charles continues, taking a slow sip of his tea, index finger circling the rim of the dainty china cup, "why she resented me so much when all I wanted was to protect her. Why she thought I didn't accept her; didn't find her natural form beautiful."
"She shouldn't have to hide who she is," Erik answers, less heated than he's done in the past, though no less firm. It's the same argument they've had many times in many ways, though admittedly not always (or even usually) about Mystique. "We shouldn't be afraid to be who we are. To be feared and persecuted for our gifts."
The telepath rolls his eyes but chooses not to argue Erik's point, setting his cup down on the end table beside him. "I should have told her with words how I felt about her and not expected her to just know. Though…perhaps things would still have gone the same way. At the time, I don't think I could have truly empathized with the depth of her struggle over her physical appearance. Certainly not without reading her mind."
"And now?" Erik asks, because he wants to know, is hungry for any detail Charles is willing to share, eager as he is to re-learn and rebuild their bond. And also, he thinks, because Charles needs to say this out loud.
"The chair," he continues, "changes the way people see me. How they engage with me. It becomes my defining characteristic and my worth is weighted and judged on the fact that it exists. It's not the same as Raven's mutation of course, but I've had years to learn how to deal with unkind and unflattering thoughts aboutme. I can understand her resentment better now having lived it myself; being judged for who she is. For something she can't change."
It's on the tip of his tongue to defend Charles; to argue that a bullet in the spine hasn't changed the telepath from the man he knew before - but the words die in Erik's throat. Of course the accident has changed him irreparably, as Erik himself was changed long ago by Shaw and his parents' deaths. He will not show Charles the discourtesy; won't deny that the paralysis has completely transformed the other man's life.
Instead, he offers this, "Turns out, we are both capable of learning from our mistakes."
