5Chasing Stars
Don't say anything tonight, if you're gonna say goodbye.
The Dojo, so usually filled with cheery laughter and happy hums of joy, was eerily quiet today. The stars had been shining brightly an hour ago, lighting up the sky until the sinister clouds had blocked their view. The clouds thundered in the sky, black and ominous, ready to pour any second.
But the obscurity outside couldn't even compare to the storm that was raging inside.
"You're leaving."
Hillary Tatibana, who was usually so lethal, felt her face crumple as she stared across the table with a gaze so heavy with emotions, it left the entire room in a ghastly silence.
"Tomorrow morning, yes."
A steady pitter-patter of water on the roof was the only thing that broke the uncomfortable silence.
Kai Hiwatari sighed when he saw Hillary's shoulders hunch at his words. For weeks to come, he had dreaded voicing the news, delaying it as much as possible…but his time was up now.
Remorse, disappointment, resentment…understanding; a diverse range of emotions passed through all of his friends' expressions. In the end, she settled for the most familiar one; rage, burning in her ruby-eyes. His heart felt heavy when she stood up, eyes filled with tears and hands clenched into fists, and stared at him, unspeaking.
Kai stared at Hilary's figure, in the backdrop of loud thunder and the dull sound of the rain against the Dojo's wooden roof.
In the next few seconds that came, he saw the wild tempest of emotions pouring thorugh like flames in her eyes, burning down all her walls. In the next few seconds that followed, he saw Hillary Tatibana break, for the very first time, right in front of him.
A vivid night was rare in Bakuten City, and Kai often found Hillary alone outside, when it arrived.
She used to lie in the grass for hours and stare up at the small dots twinkling against the sky, and he used to watch her as she did.
Over the months, as things changed, he moved from his place behind the window to right next to her in the grass, staring at the twinkles of a very different kind…the ones in her eyes.
Hours and hours and it was no-one but Kai and Hillary, laying next to each other against the wet grass, in a silence broken only by the sound of their relaxed breaths.
The only exchange between them was their gentle little touches. Sometimes, Hillary's fingers would run along his arms. Occasionally, Kai would brush away the chocolate-brown strands from her eyes. He'd seen her expressions, had her face memorized better than his own. She'd felt the traces of intimacy, knew the tingle in her skin that only his touch could cause -
Their love was shy, intimate…private.
Silent.
So, it surprised him when one night Hillary turned herself in his direction, and he heard her voice.
"Do you believe in wishing upon stars?"
Kai smiled. She felt his hand move through the grass, to rest upon hers, felt the blood rush to her cheeks when he turned to look at her.
"I don't know. Do you?"
The wind howled in the silence, pushing her hair into her face and she pursed her lips as Kai's fingers brush the tresses out of her eyes.
"I believe if you believe in something hard enough, it just might come true."
Her words made Kai smile up at her again,
"What do you wish for then?"
For a while, no-one spoke. Hillary lay herself back down against the dewy grass, unconscious of the way her fingers drew small circles on the back of Kai's hands, or the way Kai's amethyst orbs were fixed on her face, trying to read it.
"I'd tell you," She turned over on her stomach and Kai's mind went hazy at the sudden proximity…their breaths mingled, their bodies almost touched. "But I don't want to jinx it."
There was a strange gleam in her eye, their lips touched in a wild fury a mere second later…and Kai didn't need to hear any words to know what her thoughts had been.
One thing was for sure, they'd been the same as his.
"What about us?"
Kai stood at the doorway of Hillary's small apartment, drenched to the very bone from chasing Hillary all the way from the Dojo in the pouring rain. The sound of her voice breaking twice in the small question produced a little twinge in his heart, the sight of her pleading made him close his eyes; it took all his will to utter the words he had next.
"I'm moving on, Hillary. I have to leave that behind."
Their love had been a premature, underweight, clumsy little creature, which had grown up a little too fast. It had learned to float before it could even walk, and they'd stood cheering it on, knowing that it wouldn't last the winter. And now that the winter had arrived…it was time to bury it.
His eyes opened just in time to see the brokenness in hers.
From the countless times they'd lay underneath the sky, he had every inch of her face memorized; every curve and line. And right then, through the pain that swam on the surface, something burned in her expression.
Memories of their time together ran through his mind, the subtle little touches, the meaningful little looks, the secretive smiles. He thought of every comforting word, every silent exchange, every flimsy little whisper; his already-pacing heart jumped inside his chest.
"You could stay."
The rain drenched the wooden floor between the two teens, but it was the wetness in her red-orbs that alarmed him. In her desperation, her gaze flickered behind her, pass the open door, before moving back towards his face. Her voice was firm with intention when she spoke again.
"Stay."
A loud noise of thunder. Hillary's front door slammed shut. The porch was now empty, except for a small puddle of water where Kai had stood.
Morning came with a louder thunderstorm - a downpour so heavy, it flooded through her windows and into her bedroom.
But rain wasn't the only thing pouring.
Crimson eyes had been bloodshot ever since they'd woken up to an empty bed in an empty apartment. A piece of paper lay crumpled in her fists as Hillary stared at the small screen of her cell-phone, a finger just an inch away from the green 'dial' button.
But soon, she realized that she lacked the strength and gave up.
Many a stars had to move vast distances to allow them to meet, but now all the stars had lined back into their constellations, the way they were supposed to be.
Their story was one of those things in life that end the only way they know how to end; and no amount of wishing upon stars could change that.
Posted: 16.6.12
Edited: 20.8.2020
I'm giving my account a makeover, and deleting and editing left and right – changing titles, removing isolated one shots and adding them into an anthology to reduce the scattered , all over the place clutter. And also, there is so much depressed angsty teenage suicidal needlessly dramatic shit - wow I was really going through it - i'm happier now thank fuck, but all this sappy shit needs to be rearranged.
AN:
Inspired by Skillet's song, Say Goodbye - idea was running through my head for more than 6 months before i penned it down. According to my interpretation of the song, someone is having angsty goodbye sex.
