112Chapter Ten
"I don't want your arm this time, Kurosaki. I want your heart."
Ichigo pulls the sheet down to reveal his torso, which is pure, tanned, and unscarred.
"No…" Rukia's hand flies to her mouth.
"Don't move, princess, or I'll make you bleed, too." Yammy sneers and then dips the knife point into Ichigo's skin. He squirms, but doesn't scream. Of course he doesn't, because he had to be strong for her. Yammy cuts deeper into his flesh, slowly, agonizingly.
"Fuck, just do it already!" Ichigo manages to speak.
Yammy obliges, and continues to cut into the right side of Ichigo's chest, humming to himself as if this was his daily routine. After a few minutes, he backs away, and cleans the blood off of his knife on his black shirt. Rukia peers over to examine the new wound carved into his flesh. A dollar sign, about three inches wide and five inches long, drips boiling red from his torso. Tears well up in her eyes.
"To remind you of your debt," Yammy repeats, and then leaves the room, slamming the door shut behind him. The air of the room, despite the brightness of the day, is dark and still.
(_(((_(#) ~~~~~~
Rukia bolts upright from the bed and immediately runs to the door, opening it slightly to watch Yammy's large frame hobble across the living room and out the front door. As soon as the it clicks, she sprints to the front door and locks it tight. Kon, her little orange cat, peers up at her from under the vintage floral couch. Some guard animal he was. Rukia bends down and pats the cat on his head before she heads to the kitchen and fetches an old, but clean, rag. With deliberate but cautious steps, she heads into the bedroom to find Ichigo, sitting on the edge of the bed, bent over to catch the blood streaming from his chest with a hand. His cupped hand is dangerously close to being filled to the brim.
"I'm getting blood all over your-"
"Here," She gently presses the cloth to his chest, and Ichigo winces, but says nothing. The rag soon morphs into a deep maroon, the pure whiteness of it gone. She leaves for a moment to quickly throw it away and fetch another rag, and presses that to his chest, too. She asks, "Should there be this much blood?"
"Yeah, probably," Ichigo sucks in a quick breath through his teeth when she applies more pressure to try and stop the bleeding. "Fuck."
"Does it hurt?"
"Not really." He responds.
"Don't lie," Rukia rolls her eyes, and forces him to sit straighter with a hand. Let's go to the kitchen, I have a first aid kit in there with some pain killers in it."
He nods and lets her guide him into the kitchen. He holds the towel tightly to his chest, before lifting it up slightly to check the wound. The lines seem deeper than he remembered when Yammy was carving them into his skin. The blood didn't seem to gush anymore, though, it was more like slow, steady stream of red. Rukia quickly takes the towel and throws it into the trash before she applies some gauze and gives Ichigo a few pills to pop into his mouth. He takes them, and swallows them raw, without the assistance of water. He leans back against the sleek granite countertop and sighs. A steady silence begins to fester, much like his wound. She looks at him, and he looks at her, but neither say a word. Is that how an early relationship is supposed to be? Taut silences filled with wary looks and structured facial expressions the other must decipher?
"So…" Rukia breaks the silence that has now grown violently between them. "What the fuck was that all about?"
"It's not really any of your business, Rukia." Ichigo replies coldly, holding her gaze.
"Excuse me? That giant man broke into my home, threatened to make me bleed, and then scarred your skin with a knife, and suddenly this isn't any of my business? I don't think so." She furrows her brows at him. How could he be so naive? Men.
"I don't want to get you involved."
"I am obviously involved, already. It's not like Yammy or whoever he works for is just going to forget about this. They scarred you for a reason." Rukia replies haughtily.
"Is that all you care about? Your own damn self? I just got a huge money sign basically tattooed into my chest! I've got a fucking gang after me for money that I just don't have because our piece of shit band hasn't made any real money yet. And all you can think about is how some guy broke into your apartment? It's not you they want, it's me. The only reason you got involved was because I was here!" He slams his fist down on the counter, hard, causing a couple hanging brass pans to fall and clatter in the sink.
"Fuck you," Rukia approaches him, and shoves him roughly in the stomach, knocking him back further into the counter, his back against the white cabinets. "Not everything is about you, either."
"I'm not trying to make it about me. You are." He narrows his eyes at her and she stares right back with fire blazing in her violet irises. They continue to stare at each other, setting the fire ablaze, before Rukia shoves him again to make him talk. "You're a child." She spits at him.
He smiles. Seriously? He's smiling right now? "Look who's talking… midget."
Rukia looks at him, mouth agape."You did not just say that." His anger seems to recede from his eyes, and his lips curl into a half-smirk. They were both angry, obviously, but somehow, they can't be unhappy when they're together. New relationships are always like that too, aren't they? A couple can't stay mad when it's new, because everything said or done feels unreal, like it should have never happened.
"I'm sorry… Really. Don't hit me." Ichigo begs, holding his hands up in the air. "I'll do anything you want, master."
"Ugh," Rukia smacks him lightly on the abdomen, because his chest is a little occupied with a wound, at the moment. Ichigo catches her wrist on her retreat, and holds it to him, just where his stomach and chest meet in a hard line, where she can't hurt him, but she can still touch him. He slides her hand down his taut stomach, causing the breath in Rukia's throat to hitch. He continues to force her hand down into his pants, but Rukia pulls away suddenly, backing up a few steps to stare at Ichigo, in his shirtless glory, with a bandage taped to his chest that is slowly losing its light color. She fights the urge to take him right on the counter.
"You can't use sex to make me forget about this," Rukia says, her voice low and slow, her eyes hooded as she glances him up and down. "We need to talk."
Ichigo sighs, and walks to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and rubbing her arms up and down. "I… I'll, um…" Ichigo starts, and clears his throat. Why did he sound like he was in pain? "I'll tell you what happened."
Rukia raises an eyebrow, apprehensive. They just got into a nasty fight over not wanting to talk about it, and now he does, just like that? Men.
"I figure I might as well just get it over with. So if you want to break up with me after I tell you everything, you won't get so invested in me first. It's easier this way."
"Alright," Rukia says, and takes his hand, leading him from the kitchen straight into the living room. She sits down on the vintage floral couch, and notions for Ichigo to lower himself down next to her. He does, and takes both of her hands in one of his, while the other hand cups her face lightly, before pulling away and settling down on the back of the couch.
"I, uh," He squeezes her hands, as if this is the last time he'll be able to do so. "I usually don't do the whole, uh, girlfriend thing. I'm not used to talking about my past."
"Take your time, Ichigo."
"Well…" He stutters, "H-Have you ever heard of the, uh, of the gang, The Arrancars?"
Rukia stares at him in disbelief. As if she wouldn't know who The Arrancars are. Who wouldn't? The Arrancars are the most notorious gang in Karakura, or, at least they were, about three years ago. They were known to be both the wealthiest and the most criminal gang in the country. The murders and crimes they committed were countless, but somehow they always seemed to get away from the law. The gang members weren't thugs, but infamous legends. The higher-ups made hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions. But, as all gangs seem to do, there was a major internal struggle, one that wasn't talked about or covered in the gang dissipated and became nothing but a story high schoolers talk about during sleepovers once the sides were chosen and the battles were fought.
"Of course I know who the fucking Arrancars are…" Rukia scoffs, but then a deep pit in her stomach opens up when she realizes what this actually means.
"I was a member of The Arrancars for four years. I got tied up in their mess when I was only fifteen. But I worked hard for them, and I always seemed to weasel my way out of situations with the cops. I became an asset." He pauses, a deep breath passes through his lips. His voice shakes, but only slightly. "The leader, he liked me. Told me that I reminded him of himself when he was my age. You know, the typical bullshit."
"So… what happened to you?"
"Well, I took advantage of his liking towards me. I blew a lot of the gang's money on stuff that I wasn't supposed to. Drugs, hookers, a goddamn XBox."
"Seriously? You're kidding."
"Wish I was." He clears his throat, and realizes that Rukia hasn't run away yet. It brings him new confidence, and he holds her hands tighter and starts to play with some loose strands of her light pink hair. "Then things started to change. The leader wanted something he couldn't have, something that didn't belong to him, but belonged to his right-hand man, or something. I don't know. A civil war broke out within the gang. A lot of them died, but I got away."
Rukia's eyes are all but glued to him, intent on his story. It's exhilarating, heartbreaking, and terrifying, all at the same time.
"Long story short, I guess The Arrancars are regrouping and starting up again, under a new leader, but they never forgot my debt. They're either going to get their money, or they're going to kill me." He looks down at their hands, snaked together in Rukia's lap. Alright, the story is finished. If he hadn't scared her off before, it's certainly going to happen soon.
"Well, thanks for telling me," Rukia says, her voice soft, but solid.
"You're welcome," Ichigo manages to choke out. "I… I haven't told anybody this before."
"That's probably for the best."
Ichigo feels as if he's been punched in the gut. No. This is it. She's going to tell him to leave now, and never come back. And he doesn't blame her. How could he? What nineteen year old girl would want to get involved in this mess that he calls a life? "I understand, Rukia. I'll delete your number from my phone. I won't try to contact you… I don't want to make this harder than it already is." He attempts to break free from her hands and rise from the couch.
"No!" Rukia holds him down. "What? What are you talking about?"
"I said, I'll delete your number from my ph-"
Rukia smacks him, a little harder than she probably should have, right across the cheek. "Shut up. Seriously. I'm a grown woman, and I can handle this. Your past is your past, and I honestly don't care. All I care about right now is the music that we're making together. It… It just feels right. I haven't felt like myself, like this, in the longest time, and I'm not changing that. I'll just change the locks on my door."
"So you mean…?"
"I'll still be in your band, idiot." She rolls her eyes. "And while I'm doing that, I guess I might as well be your girlfriend, too."
Ichigo moves fast, and suddenly he's on top of her, taking Rukia by surprise. She experiences fits of delightful squeals while Ichigo showers her face and neck with soft, quick kisses. He glides his hand down from her check, to her collarbone, resting at the peak of her breast as he kisses her deeper. She moans against his mouth, relishing in the feeling of his frame on top of her, making her feel safe despite the danger that chokes his life. They kiss, on top of that old vintage couch, for many moments before they both break away for air. Ichigo plants a soft kiss on Rukia's forehead. "We have to go and get some work done at the studio today."
"I thought you wanted to have a lazy day and fine-tune some of your song lyrics?" Rukia asks breathlessly.
"Nah, I think we need to just go in and feel out our sound and fix the lyrics as we go. I'll text Ulquiorra to meet us there in an hour."
"Fine," Rukia pouts, and glides her hand down his chest, stomach, and into the denim of his jeans. Ichigo gasps against her as she holds him in her small hand. "I guess we better get ready to go, then."
"Well, we have an hour," Ichigo smirks as he and Rukia exchange a knowing look. Before either of them even know what's happening, their clothes find their way to the floor and the two bandmates lay on the couch, one on top of the other, as one whole piece.
(_(((_(#) ~~~~~~
"You're late," Ulquiorra, the man of few words says to the couple as they make their way into the studio. Both of them have wet, dripping hair, and look like they had hurriedly picked out an outfit. Ichigo's wearing the same outfit that he wore at the bar show last night, big surprise, and Rukia is clad in a simple jeans and black v-cut shirt and combat boot combo. There are two crumbs dusting her top lip. Ichigo must have made her eat something on the way there. She hadn't eaten in awhile. She slips a big leather satchel off of her shoulder and throws it on the floor in the corner of the studio.
"We're sorry," Ichigo clasps his hand on his friend's shoulder. "We got a little distracted."
Ulquiorra hums in his throat and reaches down to finish setting up his synthesizer. "What songs are we recording today?"
"I was thinking that we could do Hell and Back and then maybe try to do Love Interruption if we still have time after that?" Ichigo paws the back of his neck. He still felt kind of awkward to actually record his own personal songs and have them on a physical CD. When they were playing their gigs before, just him, Ulquiorra, and Grimmjow, the songs still belonged to him. They only thing that the audience could do was listen, they could never own him. For some reason, he felt a heavy weight in his stomach at the thought of someone listening to his inner heart, outside of a show. He shrugs to himself, and decides that it's just something that he'll have to get over. This, a record label, is what he's been dreaming about for years, now.
"Sounds good."
Ichigo approaches Rukia, who has been hanging back in the doorframe, arms crossed. "What's up?" He asks her, rubbing her back.
"Nothing, just tired," Rukia smirks, "and a little sore."
A blush creeps onto Ichigo's cheeks, but he coughs and turns away to cover it up. "Sorry about that…"
"Don't be," Rukia, out of Ulquiorra's line of sight, secretly reaches over to grab Ichigo's butt before she walks toward the microphone set up in the middle of the studio. Ichigo shakes his head and smiles to himself. She's a feisty one.
He goes over to the sound equipment and makes sure that it's setup to record, and then walks back into the studio. He pulls his guitar out from it's black case covered in stickers and slings it over his shoulder, wincing slightly as he did so. The money sign. The scar. "It'll start recording in sixty seconds. I'm singing Hell and Back, and then you wanted to sing Love Interruption, right babe?"
"Yup," Rukia nods, and moves to give Ichigo room with the hanging, silver mic. He stares into the audio stub, just gazing at it like it was alien to him. This was it, the moment that he sold his voice. What the hell, he needed the cash, anyway. He places his hands gently on the guitar strings, and his lips barely graze the mic as his voice rises and falls.
I held on as long as I could possibly
My blind faith pushing me to my knees
I felt the warmth of a touch
And it made me believe
And I knew it well
He glances over at Rukia, who is leaning against the doorframe again, watching the way his lips move gracefully to every beat of the song. She loved watching him.
I stood at the doorway hoping you might let me in
My head spinning 'round
My nerves jumping from my skin
I felt the stinging ragged cold
Of the devil's hot embrace
And I knew it well
Rukia's head nods to the music, loving every beat. Ichigo's fingers are masterful on his guitar, and Ulquiorra is a genius on the piano.
When did she get so lucky to have people like this in her life?
And you took me to hell and back
How many times can I walk away from you?
My mind's like a one way track
And every one is taking me back to you
And you tell me "Just one more time"
And you're lying like you always do
And I know it well
Ichigo finishes the song beautifully, ending on slow, steady low note that causes goosebumps to raise on Rukia's arms. She gazes at the man before her, with his stinky, old band shirt and his three-day old stubble grazing his chin and neck. He seems so relaxed with a guitar in his hands and a microphone in front of him. The sound of fervent clapping bounces off of the walls. Rukia whirls around, to see Kaien Shiba, dressed in an all black from his hair to his shoes, and stands only a few feet away from her. She fights off the thought of the similarities between Kaien and her boyfriend, the spiky hair, and the same chiseled features. Now that she thinks about it, the only difference between them is that Kaien's hair is black instead of orange, and his eyes are a deep blue-green and Ichigo's are an impossible hazel. Rukia shakes her head softly to shake these thoughts.
"That was a solid performance," Kaien claps, just once, with finality. "But how about we give the lovely lady a turn?"
"I was under the impression that we had this studio space to ourselves," Ichigo says hotly, slinging his guitar over his back and approaching their manager. He silently slips his arm around Rukia's waist and secures her to his side. "Or was I mistaken?"
"Oh no, of course the space is all yours. I was just popping in to see how my favorite future starlets were doing." He glances at Rukia and gives her a wink. Ichigo's teeth grind, and his hold on her waist becomes tighter. "So, any trouble with the equipment?"
"We're doing just fine." Ichigo says.
"Glad to hear it. Well, I'll leave you guys to it. Unless you want some help with the recording equipment? I know it can be hard to learn all the ropes in just a couple days."
"No, I think we-"
"That would be great." Rukia smiles to their manager, and he smiles right back. Kaien nods, and then makes his way over to the recording booth. He looks at the hundred of buttons and dials with obvious expertise, and begins to switch some dials and reset volumes and pitch buttons. Ichigo makes a coughing noise deep in his throat to get her attention. He seems pissed.
Rukia crosses her arms and gives him a very be nice to our manager or this record will never be made look.
"Oh common," Ichigo complains, throwing his hands into the air briefly. "We both know that guy is a total asshole. He was flirting with you right in front of me."
"Maybe he doesn't know that we're dating?" Rukia asks.
"Please. He knows. He's just choosing to ignore it."
"Whatever," Rukia rolls her eyes, and then tries to hold back a giggle when she realizes what is going on. "Are you… jealous?"
"What? No!" Ichigo's eyes go wide.
"Sure, sure," Rukia laughs as she sashays over to the microphone. "Get in position, jealous boy."
Ichigo bounds toward the other microphone in the room, passing Ulquiorra who looks at the bickering pair with only slight interest. "The fuck are you looking at?" Ichigo spits at his friend, who just shrugs. Ichigo sighs, and settles down onto a stool and re-tunes his guitar for the next song. Rukia pats the microphone in front of her, and then looks to Kaien, who has just finished his work in the recording booth and then gives her a thumbs up. And Rukia starts to sing.
I want love to, roll me over slowly
Stick a knife inside me, and twist it all around.
I want love to, grab my fingers gently
Slam them in a doorway, put my face into the ground.
I want love to, murder my own mother and
Take her off to somewhere like hell or up above.
I want love to change my friends to enemies,
Change my friends to enemies and show me how it's all my fault.
(_(((_(#) ~~~~~~
They spend the rest of day in the studio, singing the same two songs over and over while Kaien fiddles with the buttons and switches to get the most out of their sound. At around seven o'clock, Kaien presses a small black button, and his voice penetrates the sound proof studio.
"I think that's a wrap, everybody. These sound great so far."
Rukia sighs, and twists her back, left and right, hearing it crack multiple times. Standing for hours and singing your heart out can take a toll on the body, mind, and soul. Abruptly, Ichigo is behind her, snaking his arms around her waist and leaning down to whisper in her ear. "Good job, baby," he says in a gruff, but velvety voice. She blushes. He leaves her, his hands trailing on her hips, to pack up his guitar. Ulquiorra packs up his synth quickly and quietly, stopping by Ichigo's spot to have a brief chat.
Suddenly, Kaien is in front of her, a solid black wall. She glances up his tall frame. His toned arms are very visible in his tight, long-sleeved shirt. His mouth curls up in a smirk when she spots her starting. "Lovely voice, as usual, Rukia."
"Thank you," Rukia looks down at the floor to hide her reddening cheeks. How has she not noticed how much he and Ichigo look alike until now? Maybe it was because she had only seen him in a fancy suit before, something Ichigo wouldn't be caught dead in.
"I guess I'll see you around, then, if you let me." He says softly, sounding much like Ichigo would in this situation.
"You're welcome in the studio anytime, you know that." Rukia replies. "It's your studio, after all."
"Oh that's right," He smirks, "I guess you'll be seeing a lot more of me, then." He winks at her, and then walks away, picking up a dark gray, denim jacket and leaving without another word, slipping into a room connected to the studio that Rukia has never been in before. She turns around to see Ichigo staring at her, his face a blank slate. For some reason, that made her more scared then if there had been pain in his eyes. She looks down at her hands, away from his gaze.
After a few more moments, the band is packed up and ready to go. The crew all put on their jackets and head out of the studio. They walk down the block to the studio's designated parking lot. Ichigo glides a cigarette between his lips and lights it, the smoke intermingling with the slight density of the air, brought on by a cool breeze. Fall was coming fast.
The group have almost made it to their cars when Rukia stops in her tracks.
"Shit," she says, "I forgot my satchel in the studio." She rubs her arms. Shit, it was getting cold. "I'm going to run back and get it quick. Will you stay and start the car so it's warm when I get back?"
Ichigo nods, and gives her a quick kiss on the forehead before she heads off, walking faster than usual. He smiles, watching her little frame ghosting its way back. He turns, and meets Ulquiorra's questioning gaze.
"What? I like her." Ichigo shrugs.
"You're usually not one for public adoration, especially when you're sober." Ulquiorra raises an eyebrow while he slips his keys from his pocket and unlocks his father's old car.
"Shut up."
"It's just different. She makes you softer."
"Shut up, times infinity." Ichigo waves him off, and goes to start his car so it will be nice and toasty when Rukia gets back.
Speaking of, the little pink-haired girl has just made it back to the studio. She rushes in, and runs straight into Kaien. He balances her with his hands, which stayed longer on her arms than they should have.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, man," Rukia says, and stares into his eyes, which have captured her.
"Don't be, sweetheart," Kaien smirks, "It was a pleasant surprise."
Rukia laughs, somewhat awkwardly, and then inches past him, into the studio. She quickly scoops up her leather satchel and slings it around her shoulder. Kaien remains by the main doorway, leaning against the wall and watching her from afar. She clears her throat, and then makes her way across the plush carpeting and fancy white upholstery back to the front door. She glances up at him, up and away, like the flight of a bird. "See you around," she tries to leave, but Kaien places a soft but firm hold on her wrist.
"Hold up," Kaien says.
"What's up?" Rukia asks timidly.
"I just want you to know that I've been thinking about making some changes to the band."
"What do you mean."
"You know, just some creative changes. Like making you the only lead singer." Kaien shrugs, as if it's no big deal. Maybe it wasn't. Business is business, after all.
"No… that would mean that Ichigo wouldn't get to sing. He has an amazing voice."
"Eh, to each his own. We can always find another guitar player."
"I don't think so," Rukia tugs her wrist away from his grasp, and makes the mistake of looking directly into his eyes. Ichigo's eyes, but blue and deep. She glances at his lips, but only briefly. Just briefly. "I'll see you around," she trots away, into the brisk air, heading down the bitterly cold sidewalk.
"See you," Kaien says.
(_(((_(#) ~~~~~~
Rukia slides into the passenger seat side of the car, immediately running her hands over the heat, that is on full-blast. She tries to shake the feeling of being both cold and hot at the same time, but it doesn't subside.
"That took a while," Ichigo says, a glumness lacing his tone.
"Couldn't find my satchel," she replies, and leans over to kiss him on his temple. "It's getting so cold out. Coffee, on me?"
"Sure," Ichigo revs the engine, and they're off, back into the city that they call home. A city full of dreams and promises, but underneath the shiny white layer, a black concoction simmers and boils over.
A/N: A bit of a longer chapter, for me. Reward my hard work with reviews? Please please please? I'd love to know your thoughts and theories.
