3Characters: Polly, Maladict, Maxim, Agatha, Dimo, Oggi, Jenka, Zeuxippe, Lucrezia, Klaus, Zeetha, Higgs, Gil, Tarvek, possibly other Girl Genius characters too, also plenty of OCs.
Pairings: in this chapter: implied Polly/Mal, Polly/Maxim, and Polly/Gil
Rating: PG-13, for the time being.
Dot's Right, Blutsukker!
The 'Official' Girl Genius / Discworld Crossover
Chapter Two: Reasoning with jägers
Maxim was back at the Castle ten minutes before noon. He had reported the latest developments to Dimo and Oggi, with the conclusion that Dimo had gone off on his own, frustrated with Maxim's lack of concrete results, and Oggi had stationed himself at the pub opposite the gates, deciding that he needed to see this soldier girl for himself.
The House Heterodyne has declared war on House Wulfenbach. The Jägers had deserted the Baron – their oaths to the House Heterodyne were binding, much more binding that their oaths to Klaus Wulfenbach. Mechanicsburg, under Vanamonde von Mekkahn's leadership, had declared independence from the Wulfenbach empire. Unfortunately for Vanamonde, the Mechanicsburg City Guard was on Baron Wulfenbach's payroll. Many soldiers, being of Mechanicsburg descent, had deserted the City Guard and joined Vanamonde's Mechanicsburg Militia. There was very little fighting in the streets – instead, the city had been divided to zones controlled by the City Guard, and zones controlled by the Militia. Barricades isolated the zones, yet both sides were hesitant to attempt a full takeover. Everyone knew that if the Jägers chose to attack the City Guard in full force, a war would begin such as Mechanicsburg had never seen, and many civilian lives were lost.
Baron Klaus Wulfenbach did not need to control the entire Mechanicsburg. It was enough for him at the current time to control all the airship landing areas and the zone surrounding Castle Heterodyne. As long as help could not get to Agatha Heterodyne in the castle, time was on his side, while he gathered together an army from all corners of Europe, an army such as had never been seen before. No one knew where Castle Wulfenbach was located now, and rumors said that the jägermonsters who had once staffed it as guards had been replaced by vampire soldiers and constructs.
When Maxim arrived to the street before the Castle, he could heard the two guards talking.
"...I'm saying we ought to switch sides, Mal. You can call it deserting. Remember Kneck Keep? The ones we share an uniform with can be as bad as the ones we're supposed to be fighting. All I'm saying is that serving the Baron will get us killed. And while you may think that is just a small hindrance, for me Death is final. We need to get back to Borogravia, Mal! That's our homeland. Not this horrible town."
Maxim stepped under the awning of a shop, to avoid being detected, and kept listening to the soldiers. The blonde Sergeant was obviously the brains of the outfit. But the vampire Maladict wasn't left speechless.
"And I'm telling you, Ozzer, that you're letting your emotions get the better of you again. You've met the enemy, and he's nice? Don't look at me like that. You've been checking your pocket watch every three minutes. Don't let the jäger fool you. They're killing machines, and Lady Heterodyne is the Other. She won't help us get back home. She will enslave us. Baron Wulfenbach is our only hope. Besides – you liked it at Castle Wulfenbach, didn't you? I seem to recall a certain sword duel with Master Gilgamesh..."
A young woman dressed in the apron of a shop clerk over a beautiful, if rather worn, blue dress had approached Maxim. Maxim was aware of her presence, but chose not to react to it.
"Excuse me, sir, but if you're not buying anything, I must ask you to move on. You're frightening our customers away, dressed all spooky like that. There are troublesome times, sir."
Maxim resisted the urge to flash her a jäger grin. He touched his hand to the brim of his hat.
"Hy am buyink somethink. Vat do hyu sell, sveethot?" He asked, turning to look at the shop window.
The woman took a step back, but didn't cry in alarm. The common people of Mechanicsburg mostly sided with the Heterodynes, and this woman, daughter of a long line of minions, was glad to know the Jägers were on Lady Agatha's payroll now.
"We sell exotic foreign imports of all kinds, sir. Coffee, tea, cane sugar, coconuts, bananas, cotton, silk, laudanum, tobacco – if it isn't grown in Europe, then we have it." She smiled at him. "To you, sir, I would recommend the Caribbean Rum. Very strong, yet fine and aromatic."
Maxim kept his eyes on the two soldiers. "Bring me vun bottel of dat, dollink." Maxim instructed her, hoping she would go inside so he could hear what the soldiers said again. The girl curtsied. "As you wish, sir. My name is Nuala, by the way." The voice was hopeful, but Maxim didn't answer, his attention focused on the soldiers again.
Ozzer was yelling at Mal now. "I'm telling you, there was nothing between me and Gil... I mean, Master Gilgamesh! Nothing! He beat me in a duel. So what? He is Gilgamesh Wulfenbach! He must defeat hundreds of people in sword duels all the time! Why would he care about one soldier?"
Mal was lighting a cigarette. "I'm not saying Gilgamesh Wulfenbach cares about you. I'm saying you care about Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, which is a different can of bolts entirely. I'm saying Agatha Heterodyne is your rival. In short, I'm saying you're an abomination through and through, Ozzer Perks, and if you'd told him your real name back when you still had his friendship, we wouldn't be facing war and jägermonsters now."
The shop clerk returned with the bottle of rum, carefully wrapped in a paper bag. She quoted a price, and Maxim paid it without complaint. He looked at his pocket watch, and saw it was noon. "Tank hyu, sveethot. Hy vill kome again." He grinned at Nuala, and walked towards the Castle gates.
"Hy am bak, my leedle nokedli!" He announced cheerfully, and offered his arm to Ozzer. The Sergeant stared at it.
"Mister Maxim, if you have not understood it already, I must tell you now that my name is Oliver Perks to anyone that asks, and I would prefer not to be addressed as 'leedle nokedli' or words to that effect. Friends may call me Ozzer. I do not link arms with males, unless I am extremely drunk. I note you have brought some alcohol with you. I hope your intention is not to get me drunk – I do know I invited you to a drink, but I meant one pint of beer in the pub, not a bottle of rum or vodka or whatever else that the clever girl in blue sold you."
Maxim frowned. "Ozzer? Hokay. Ve go for de drink nov?" He suggested, gesturing towards the pub. He did not have much experience of girls dressing as boys. Already he regretted that he had told Oggi everything.
Maladict spoke. "The men who are supposed to relieve us from watch duty are late. We must wait for them, Sergeant."
Ozzer nodded. "Mal is right."
For a moment, none of them said anything. Two soldiers of the City Guard arrived. Maxim stood back and was silent – it was better not to reveal his identity to those two. He'd already gotten an earful from Dimo for announcing his intentions to Mal and Ozzer. The guards exchanged news in whispers and code, and Mal and Ozzer walked towards the pub, while the other two took the guard position at the gates.
Maxim held the door of the pub open for Ozzer, earning him a glare from Maladict. Inside the pub, Oggi was well into his third drink, and called out cheerfully:
"Maxim, hyu old horschebiter! Hyu deed not say sche vas blonde!"
In what seemed like three steps, Ozzer had marched up to Oggi. "Did you just call me a girl? Think carefully before you answer, jäger! I am Oliver Perks, Mechanicsburg City Guard, and I have killed men for less. My friend has gone to get reinforcements." Indeed, Maladict was gone, as if he had evaporated. "I suggest you shut up now, and consult with your friend here, and maybe, just maybe, I will listen to whatever you two have to say. You should know that my men have captured the jäger known as Dimo. Apparently, he was trying to sneak into Castle Heterodyne. I know you two could kill me, however, I also know you will not try. We both have much to lose, but we both have much to gain – if you behave sensibly, ladies. " It was a gamble, of course, but sometimes one had to play the cards one was dealt, and sometimes one had to cheat.
Other patrons were quickly leaving the pub, thronging at the doors. Only one outsider remained. The young singer called Kayna sat at one of the back tables, and wrote down everything she heard in a leather-backed notebook. This sounded like a song in the making, a heroic saga, and she could become famous for being the one to sing it.
