9A/N Hey guys, wrote the begining of this in English with my friend Steph, so sorry if it doesn't fit in with the rest of the story, I just liked it and it inspired me to write my first fanfiction! I'm sorry if it's no good. I'm not sure whether to write about when she gets home or not, tell me what you think! Please R/R! Thanks
Blue Butterfly
In the shadows of the eerie library, the leather-bound spine of one particular book stands out. I pull down the book to see what secrets it holds, as I open the cover- the words start to glow. The ancient, yellowed paper eels fragile under my strong grip, the pages start to flap. My world starts spinning and suddenly goes black as I'm sucked into a land void of life. As I look across the dry, barren plains- searching to a single sign of hope. I look down to my hands and I am amazed to see an electric blue butterfly, flying away from me. The book was replaced by the beautiful blue butterfly, how am I going to get home? I start to chase after it, but flies too fast- always just out of my reach.
It flies over a hill and I chase after it, but when I get to the bottom, the butterfly is no where to be seen. When I turn around I can't see where I came from- there is no way out!- I start to panic and I look around for the one thing I know in this strange, empty place- just as I think that all hope is lost, the stunning blue butterfly appears right beside me. I reach out a single hand and it lands on my palm. I am caught in a vortex of colour as I'm pulled back to reality. The butterfly's wings had been cut.
The book was in my hands again and I was lying on the floor. The silence pressing in on my eardrums until it feels like they are about to burst. I can't remember the last time I felt happy, everything is black. That butterfly is gone and it took all the hope I had with it. I can feel the weight of my bag that is half on my ankle, I reach down to it and pull it up next to me- I stick my hand in and search blindly for my swiss army knife. I feel something prick my skin and I grab it, sure enough my finger is bleeding, but I found what I was looking for. I pull out my phone and dial Kelly's number, hoping she would pick up immediately.
"Silver? Is that you?" came Kelly's worried voice
"Yeah Kelly, it's me."
"Are you alright? Where are you? Have you been hurt?" she asked me, franticly
"I'm fine, Kel. I just called to say that I'm sorry. And that I've never deserved a sister like you. You have always taken care of me, and I just wanted you to know that I love you- and I want you to remember that. You are the best sister in the world-" I was cut off by Kelly.
"Silver, why are you talking like you're never going to see me again? I thought you said you were alright!" Kelly sounded scared.
"I am alright, I just wanted to tell you before I do something." I replied
"Silver..."she trailed off, trying to understand what I said. "Where are you?" she asked abruptly
"Kelly-I'm not telling you where I am!" I responded, a little bit harsher than I meant to be
"Yes you are Erin Silver! Tell me where you are, please!" Kelly sounded so desperate, it tore my heart to pieces. I could hear that she was crying
"Kelly, I'm going to be happier than I have been in a long time. Just let me do what I have to do!" I responded immediately
"I'll do whatever you need me to do, for you to be happy! Please, just tell me where you are!" it hurt me to know that I was hurting her this badly, she sounded so desperate.
"I'm at the library. I broke in so you're not going to need the police or anything to get in" I caved, exasperated
"I'll be there in about ten minutes! Okay?" she sounded like she was running, probably to her car.
"Okay" I responded. She hung up on me, probably so she could get here quicker.
Kelly has always been like a mother to me, she is a hell of a lot better than my real mother. I lay there thinking about my mother, about Jackie, when I suddenly remembered why I was doing this. I was doing it because there has never been a time when I was truly happy. I was doing this because no-one loved me, no-one but Kelly and she only said she loved me after she found out what had been going on with mum- after she realised that no-one else loved me, so she felt that she had to help me, to love me.
I quickly grab the blade, I have to do this before Kelly gets here. I place the blade on my wrist and pause for a second, before applying pressure to it and gliding it along my arm, I do the same to the other arm. I quickly write a letter to my sister, telling her that I love her and that she should never forget it, before the black overcomes me. The last thing I hear is a car screeching to a halt outside the library. It's Kelly. She came for me! Maybe she really does love me! Oh well, too late if she does.
"Silver!" I hear myself scream as I first see the broken body of my baby sister lying in a pool of her own blood. She looks so small and fragile. I race over to her while dialing 911, checking to see if there was any pulse, she was still alive, but only just.
The ambulance arrives in three minutes. Those three minutes felt like three lifetimes to me, watching my helpless, baby sister grow weaker and weaker every second they took to get here. The paramedics rush over and start asking me questions like 'how long has she been like this' and 'how strong was her pulse when you found her'. After checking her pulse and bandaging her arms they finally put her in the back of the ambulace, I get in too, just to make sure she's okay. Before I know it they are rushing her into the hospital and taking her into an O.R to give her a blood transfusion, I am left to fill out the paper work alone in the waiting room. Waiting to find out whether or not they were able to save my baby.
After what feels like forever my name is called and I jump out of my chair as fast as I can. She's okay. Silver's okay, they said that she still isn't out of the woods yet, but she's a Taylor- a fighter. I am allowed to go and see her, they said that she is still unconcious and that they had to sedate her, so she won't be waking up for at least a few hours. I walk into her room and I see her lying there, she looks so innocent. There is no way that this beautiful, child-like girl just tryed to kill herself. No way. But she did and now I have to find out why she was so upset that she thought that the only logical way to make it better was to take her own life.
I must have fallen asleep, because I awoke with a start, Silver was shifting slightly in her bed- she was waking up.
When I woke up bright lights stung my eyes, but when I got used to it I saw Kelly sitting in a chair next to my bed.
"How are you feeling?" she asks me
"Like complete and utter crap. You?" I answer
"You're the one in hospital and you're asking me how I'm feeling? How are you so selfless Silver?" she asks, shocked
"It's a habit I picked up with Mum. Whenever I was hurt I asked her if she was okay because if I didn't she would scream at me for hours" I replied truthfully.
"Oh" was all she could manage to say, she looked guilty.
We sat in silence for a while, until I asked how long I would have to stay in the hospital for.
"You will have to stay here for monitoring for a week" Kelly answers, almost robotically
"Why? I'm fine, honestly!" I exclaimed
"You're not fine Silver, you tried to kill yourself. You are not okay, so don't even try to tell me that you are. I might have believed you before I saw you in a pool of your own blood, but I sure as hell don't believe you now! I just don't want to lose you Silver, just remember that" Kelly replied, I could see that she was being sincere.
"Okay" I said. I tried to give her a hug, but when I lifted my arms I winced, my arms were killing me. She noticed this and came over and hugged me.
"It's going to be okay, baby. Don't try to move your arms, you'll just hurt yourself and I really, really don't want you in any more pain!" Kelly whispered through my hair.
I couldn't say anything, silent tears start streaming down my face. She does love me! There really is one person in the world who cares about me. I think she noticed my tears because her grip on me became tighter. I started to sob into her neck, why couldn't mum love me like this? Why was Kelly the only person in the universe who loves me? What did I do wrong? My thoughts were cut off by a doctor knocking on the door.
"Hi, I'm Doctor Bailey. I'm just here to tell you that you will be here under 24 hour supervision for a week and that it was a clean cut so it should heal fairly quickly. That's all, bye" was all he said to us, he seemed busy.
"24 hour supervision!" I screeched "I will not have strangers watching me 24/7!"
Kelly just looked at me, understanding. "I know sweetie, but it'll only be for a week, and then you can come back home with me." she reassured me
"How long have you been here for?" I asked starting to panic
"I was here with you all night." she replied
"Oh my god, Kelly! What about Sammie? Where is he?" I was full on panicking now
"It's okay, calm down Silver. I sent him to stay at Brenda's for the night and I have arranged for him to go see his dad for a couple of weeks. His plane leaves tonight."
"Thank god. I thought you had left him at home!" I said with a nervous giggle "You don't have to send him away, I'll be fine. Promise."
"I know I don't have to send him away, I want to. I need to look after you at the moment."
"But he's your son, he needs you more than me, Kelly."
"He's got his dad, and right now you need me more than he does" she comforted
"I will never need you more than he does, you're his mum!" I exclaimed
"When will you understand, Silver? You were my first child, I have raised you and protected you since you were born, I'm not going to stop now!" she said softly but firmly
"If you raised me and protected me that much, then where were you when Jackie started drinking, when she hit me and abused me to the point that she got her message so far into my head that I believe her? To the point where I can no longer see the good in things and I notice that everything she said was true!" I yelled at her, I could the tears in her eyes and that she was about to deny that what Mum said was true. "Don't deny it Kelly, how many people do you see rushing in here to see if I'm okay? Only you, therefore what Mum said was true!"
"Silver, what did Jackie say to you?" Kelly asked, concern etched on her face
"She told me that she didn't love me and no-one else in the world ever has or ever will love me. She told me that I'm worthless and that she wished I was dead- that I deserved to be dead." I told her, tears once again staining my face, she pulled my in for another comforting hug.
"None of those things are true Silver. The reason I'm the only one here is because I thought that you needed the rest and I wanted your permission before I told anyone. I love you so much, that if I had the chance, I would go back and take you from Jackie as soon as you were born! You deserve so much more than this." she said to me
