41Hey everyone, and welcome to my new project: Investigation Team Yo!
Despite the name, this will actually be a collection of amusing short stories set in P4, acting as a semi-sequel to Fairly English Story. Don't expect these to be in chronological order, or even to make much sense in continuity. Sometimes, I may even ignore the laws of reality and personality under the authority of Rule of Cool and Rule of Funny.
Don't expect this story to be as epic as Fairly English Story or as funny as Time Paradox, but I'll see what I can do.
And to prove how unordered this'll be, I'll start in the middle of June. Also, I'm calling him Seta Souji.
So, yeah. Here we go.
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=[ 06/19 Su]=
Daytime
Yosuke barged into Seta's room. "Hmmm, it's pretty clean." Yosuke announced. "So? You keep the goods under your futon?"
Goods? Seta thought. "Oh, right." He nodded. "In the fridge."
Yosuke raised an eyebrow, then nodded. "Oh, I getcha." He agreed, walking over to the mini-fridge under the desk. "Yeah, I can see the logic in hiding 'em where no-one would look… dude, what's with all the booze!?"
"Mixing drinks is a hobby of mine." Seta shrugged. "I'm not old enough to drink alcohol, but that doesn't mean I can't practice."
"Practice?" Yosuke asked. "What, you want to be a barkeep when you grow up?"
"Bartender." Seta corrected. "There's a difference."
"Whatever man." Yosuke replied, closing the fridge and getting to his feet. "I was talking about your porn."
"Oh, that." Seta nodded, pointing his thumb behind him. "On the shelf."
"What!?" Yosuke shouted, running towards said shelf. "Man, how can you act so dignified about it!?" He laughed. "Alright, I'll check 'em out when you go take a piss or something." Yosuke winked. "I'll expose all your embarrassing tastes."
Seta grabbed one book and tossed it to Yosuke. "Just keep it in your pants." Seta warned.
Yosuke turned the literature in his hands and his jaw dropped when he saw the title. "G-GAG'S!?" He shouted, tossing the book aside. "Dude, what the hell!?"
Seta picked the book from the floor and flicked through it. "Oh, that's a joke book." He placed it back on the shelf. "My bad."
Yosuke sighed. "So, you ever invited a girl in here?" He asked.
"Will soon." Seta replied absently, browsing the titles for something Yosuke-appropriate.
"Seriously!?" Yosuke shouted. "That mean you're working on someone!?"
Four girls actually, but Yumi has issues and he wasn't that into Ai, but Yosuke didn't need to know that.
"Are you there big bro?" Nanako asked from behind the door. "Have you seen the public notice anywhere?"
Seta slammed the magazine back onto the shelf and crammed it between his dictionary and War and Peace while giving Yosuke a look that said 'She must never know'.
Yosuke nodded. "Let her in."
=[ 09/05 M]=
After School
"Oh, Seta-kun… U-umm… what're you doing?" Chie asked.
"Not much." Seta replied. "Wanna do something?"
"Okay…" Chie replied. "U-um… room?" She asked.
Seta tilted his head in mild befuddlement. "C-Can I go see your room?" She cleared up. "Oh, a-a-after training, of course!" Chie said.
Seta crapped bricks. The porn was still on the shelf. "Erm, I just remembered that I've gotta… go… place…" Seta lied, before sprinting to the stairs. "LATER!"
"IGOR-QUICK-YOU-GOTTA-HELP-ME!"
Igor chuckled. "Please, calm yourself." He said. "Now, how may I be of assistance?"
"You know that thing you did when we didn't save Kanji in time?" Seta asked. "Where you sent me back in time a week?"
"Indeed." Igor nodded.
"Well, I need you to send me back in time to last night." Seta begged. All he did was read Riddlemania, but he needed to fix that mistake.
Igor chuckled. "Very well then." He agreed. "But only because this is an emergency."
=[ 09/05 M]=
After School
"Oh, Seta-kun… U-umm… what're you doing?" Chie asked.
"Not much." Seta replied. "Wanna do something?"
"Okay…" Chie replied. "U-um… room?" She asked.
Seta tilted his head in mild befuddlement. "C-Can I go see your room?" She cleared up. "Oh, a-a-after training, of course!" Chie said. "T-that's all, s-so let's go!"
"Sure." Seta smiled, porn safely stashed under the futon.
=[ 09/13 Tu]=
After School
"Oh… Seta-kun." Yukiko blushed. "Haha… I feel kind of embarrassed. D-do you want to go somewhere?"
"Sounds great." Seta agreed.
"Okay!" Yukiko declared, before lowering her voice in a blush. "Well… if it's okay with you, umm…"
"Yeah?" Seta asked.
"I-I want to go to… your room."
He was out of there like spider monkey.
"IGOR-QUICK-YOU-GOTTA-HELP-ME!"
Igor chuckled. "Perhaps you require my assistance concerning your love life once again?" He asked.
"I probably wouldn't be panicking like this, but I read 'The Princess and the Pea' to Nanako last night, and, well…"
Igor chuckled. "Very well." He decided. "But may I suggest a more… private location this time?" He suggested.
=[ 09/13 Tu]=
After School
"Oh… Seta-kun." Yukiko blushed. "Haha… I feel kind of embarrassed. D-do you want to go somewhere?"
"Sounds great." Seta agreed happily.
"Okay!" Yukiko declared, before lowering her voice in a blush. "Well… if it's okay with you, umm… I-I want to go to… your room."
Seta mentally gave himself a hi-five. There was no way in hell Yukiko would root through his drawers.
=[ 11/12 Sa]=
After School
"I am currently in the room of Seta Souji." Rise reported, looking around his room. "It seems quite clean for a boy his age… Uh, umm… Th-there doesn't seem to be anything lying around that he wouldn't want me to see… Now then, where could the goods in question be hiding?" Rise glared at Souji. "I'll ask the man himself! So- where do you hide them!?"
SMASH
Seta rolled off the porch roof and ran like hell for the shopping district.
Seta caught his breath once he was inside his favourite limousine, before getting off his seat and bowing on all fours. "PLEASE!" He begged in desperation. "I won't ask you again! I promise!"
Igor chuckled. "But I am afraid that if I send you back to last night, then you will miss your chance to complete the Devil Arcana."
Crap.
Seta pulled the journal from his pocket and browsed through his recent activities. The last night he didn't do any social linking in was almost a week ago.
Igor chuckled. "Very well." He decided. "But there will be a price this time."
Seta nodded. "I'll take it."
=[ 11/07 M]=
Evening
Seta walked into an empty house. Now why did…
Oh.
Today was the day they saved Nanako from that psycho Namatame…
Seta sighed. He was tired, but he went upstairs and did what he came back in time to do.
Dig a large hole in the Dojima's back garden and bury his collection until the coast was clear.
=[ 11/19 Sa]=
After School
"Oh, Seta-san." Naoto told him at in the school building. "Um, don't lose heart… I'm sure Nanako will recover soon…"
"Thanks Naoto-san." Seta replied.
"If you don't mind, I'm free today…" Naoto suggested. "Umm, I have… something I want to speak with you about."
"That'd be great." Seta replied happily.
"Okay!" Naoto declared, before blushing. "Err… shoot. I told myself I'd play it cool when I said that… Erm…" She scratched the back of her head and looked downwards as Seta suppressed a chuckle. "I-I have something I want you to have, so… I want to go somewhere…"
"Sure." Seta replied.
"…Where we can be alone." Naoto finished, before looking upwards and finding Seta nowhere to be seen.
"This will be the last time I do this for you." Igor sighed as Seta burst into the Velvet Room.
Seta bowed deeply in thanks. "Thank you very much sir!" He said.
Igor chuckled, waving his hands as the room faded to white.
=[ 11/18 F]=
Evening
Seta walked out into the pouring rain with an anorak and a shovel, and began to dig up the patch of earth in the garden.
He pulled the plastic bin liner out of the dirt, then filled the hole, placing the turf from the garden store onto the dirt and pasted it to match the rest of the grass before turning his attention to the bag of porn.
He raised his hand before him and summoned the card, before crushing it. "SURTR!" He shouted, summoning the Norse giant in the rain. "RAGNAROK!"
He shed a few tears as his precious collection was incinerated by his own hand, but he accepted it as a price he had to pay.
=[ 11/20 Su]=
Evening
Seta watched the midnight channel that night and let out a sigh of relief as no-one turned up as Naoto walked into the room, towelling her hair. "It's so… quiet here without Nanako-chan…" She commented, towelling her hair.
Seta leant forward. "Naoto-san… can you… stay another night?" He asked her hopefully.
She sat and leant on him. "Of course…" She replied. "And… call me Natalie…"
=[ 12/25 Su]=
Evening
Once everyone had left and Nanako had been put to bed, Seta helped Dojima clear up the chaos from the party. "Now, I really appreciate you looking after the house while Nanako and I were in the hospital, but there are a few things I need to clear up with you." Dojima told his nephew.
"Shoot." Seta replied, washing up the dishes.
"First, please can you explain the condom wrapper I found in the couch?"
Seta jumped. "Er…" He asked.
"Second, girls school uniform in the dirty laundry."
"Heheh…"
"Third, the vodka in the fridge." Dojima stated, tapping his foot impatiently.
"I… guess there are somethings in life that can't be explained?" Seta suggested nervously. "I mean, our explanation of how we caught Adachi makes no sense if we can't walk into TV's, right?"
Dojima grabbed his nephew's shoulder and frog marched him into the lounge, where he forced Seta over and pushed him head first into the TV. "I see…" Dojima stated as Seta flailed helplessly, shoulders jammed against the sides of the narrow TV. "That explains everything."
Dojima yawned. "I'm off to bed." He said, walking towards the stairs as Seta tried to position his elbows to push himself out. "G'night…"
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You know, that wasn't as funny as Time Paradox, but it was also pretty hilarious at times too, while explaining what went down in my version of P4. I like that.
If anyone has any ideas for any other jokes they'd like me to work on, please send them to me, I'll have some fun because I only have the next chapter planned. After that, I've got nothing.
Also, to clarify to everyone, yes, I am going to be leaving in a few months for a two year mission for my church. that is neither a joke nor a hoax, I am dead serious about this and I'll post more information when I get it.
Next time, the tale of Funky Student!
