3Oh, You're My Best Friend…
A/N: I tortured Metis in the last one. Now I torture Charles. Mwahahaha! (In a fluffy, cute way, I promise. Besides, he deserved it. Charles was born a bastard, I swear. He came out of the womb covered in bastardsauce.)
The two boys sat, or in Metis' case, sprawled, on the living room floor in front of the TV, half-heartedly doing their homework on the lazy Sunday afternoon after Halloween. Their shared spoils lay between them, not just a mountain, but a whole mountain range of sweets.
Yesterday night, the two of them had gone trick-or-treating as Batman and a very blond Joker, which were not matching costumes, thank-you-very-much. Because matching costumes were only for soppy couples or twins who wanted to confuse people, they had come to an agreement that they would never, ever wear matching costumes… but hero and villain was still okay.
When they had returned to Metis' house with their haul, May had been shocked that Charles' bag was much bigger than his. It was completely unfair! Charles, in a voice much too pragmatic for a child his age, had merely said, "Crime pays, Batman. Crime pays."
In truth, it was only that Metis had been eating his candy as he received it throughout the night, whereas Charles had saved all of his for the sole purpose of teasing Metis about having more candy.
Currently, a very hyper May was rolling on the carpet, unable to concentrate. His attention would flicker to the screen and catch five seconds of a commercial, then to the homework he was supposed to be doing, then to Charles, who was calmly writing down an equation while sucking on a Tootsie pop. May's hand shot out and grabbed a piece of chocolate from the Himalayas that lay between him and his best friend. He popped it in his mouth, licking his sticky fingers, and then flicked his eyes to the TV once more.
A bright flash of color took over the screen as the strains of a familiar theme song started up.
"That's it!" Metis shouted as he jumped up. He narrowed his eyes and grinned at Charles as evilly as he could with a chocolate smudge on one cheek.
"Huh?" Charles looked up just in time to see May running up the stairs. He shrugged and returned to his book.
As Charles continued to do his homework, Metis rummaged in his closet for an old baseball cap. He was halfway out the door when he spun back around and quickly swiped a pack of markers from his desk.
Charles glanced warily at May as his friend skidded down the steps, red baseball cap on his head, and a red marker in his hand.
"May? What are you up to now?" he asked suspiciously.
Metis only grinned back as he hummed along with the TV. His mischievous dark eyes glittered as he uncapped the marker and slowly approached. It almost looked like Charles was going to run away, so Metis sprinted the last few feet and landed on top of him in a flying tackle.
"Mmph! No! Get off!"
"Hold still, Charles!" May somehow managed to pin Charles' hands while he applied the dreaded red marker all over the other boy's cheeks. And to make it worse, he was giggling. When he finished, May scooted back to admire his masterpiece.
"What did you do to my face?!" Charles demanded. May happily ran off to the bathroom to retrieve a mirror. Charles frowned as he took it and looked at the horrible monstrosity his own visage had become. "Kill you, May. Kill. You. Sloooowly."
"What? I think it looks good on you."
"Shut up, smartass. Honestly, Pikachu? You get to be Ash, and I'm Pikachu?!"
"He's yellow and you're yellow. It fits!"
"Is that the best you can come up with? Because I'm still plotting your imminent demise here."
Metis knew that the reason Charles had never been in a fist fight before was because he punched like a sissy. While Charles' version of "imminent demise" might very well be eternal torment of the soul equivalent to a trip to the ninth level of Hell, there was nothing he could do to cause serious physical harm to Metis right now. With that in mind, Metis launched himself at his friend once more, this time in a bone-crushing, full-body snuggling hug.
Though the theme song was over and today's episode had started, May continued to sing horribly off-key, "Ooooh you're my best friend, in a world we must defeeeee~nd!"
Charles, for all his earlier grouchiness, reluctantly hugged back, though he continued to mumble under his breath about how undignified it was for a criminal mastermind to be defeated by cuddles.
Ash and Pikachu sprawled on top of each other as they watched Ash and Pikachu on screen. "Wait a minute, Pikachu."
"Chu. Pika pi pika," Pikachu monotoned.
"Does this count as matching costumes?"
They looked at each other, Ash in horror, and Pikachu with a condescending 'You just noticed this now?' quirk of an eyebrow.
"Aw, crap. Never again, right, Pikachu?"
"Pikachu," Pikachu solemnly nodded.
