3Disclaimer: I do not own the People Under the Stairs and never will. This is the second part of my story Roach: Coming Home. Here's a little recap for those of you too lazy to read the first part.
From the journal of David Mathias 'Roach' Cullen
'9-12-1991
Dear Journal,
I've been free for a month and a half now.(Hooray for me!). I never thought that I'd ever be free, ever feel the sunlight, ever see my family again, or ever even live to the year 1992 but I did and I will. I love my family much more than I ever loved Mommy and Daddy(I never loved them, even though Alice did.) Sure my parents like to get into my business(So does my sister, Belladonna other wise know as Donna the Spy)My brother Morgan can be a jerk to me but I still love him, my weird but interesting sister Dot(Dorothea Louisa Francesca Bianca Lonna Robesca), and my other sister Trysta(Call her Trystal and she can't be held responsible for her actions). They're my siblings and I love them, nothing will ever change that. They love me too(my sister Trysta loved me a bit too much). Trysta was IN LOVE with me. Really. I kissed her and then I told her that I didn't like her back(That wasn't the best idea because now she's in love with Fool). That's right, my ten year old sister is in love with my thirteen year old best friend. You know what else...
THEY
HAD
SEX!
Me and Alice saw it in the park, we really did. Ever since that day things have been a little weird between us.(Me, Trysta, Alice, and Fool) They don't know that we saw them but that doesn't change the fact that we did. Alice has been asking if we should do that. I'd say yes but I'm just too...
AFRAID.
Yes, I David Mathias 'Roach' Cullen am afraid to lose my virginity to the girl I love more than anything else in the whole wide world.(Even more than video games and nacho's and cookies put together) She doesn't know what she's asking, to her it's just and extension of what we've been doing but for me it's something that I've worked hard to protect.(I've done everything but let the people under the stairs fuck me, it makes me feel like a whore but at least I'm still a virgin for the most part.)Let me rewind here(I love slang) we've been out on two dates and I haven't told her that I love her yet(It's another thing that I'm too afraid to do) but we stripped for each other and we even brought each other to orgasm(I cried because for some reason it made me remember what THEY did to me). I want to have sex with her, I really do but If I cried by just letting her touch me I might completely break down. She knows why I cried though(She's the only person I ever told and Donna read about it.) I don't think that I destroyed too much of her innocence but she still didn't need to know. I feel really selfish that I told her.
Maybe I am a cockroach.
Another strange thing is a recurring dream that I keep having where me and Fool do it.(It scares me beyond reason.) In the dream I don't like it but I sort of...do.(I sicken myself sometimes).
But that's impossible.
Isn't it?
I can't possibly have feelings for Fool. He's a boy! But I have been noticing things about him lately even though he only comes around to see Trysta(They're relationship is a secret because my parents wouldn't approve).
The way he smiles when something's really funny.
The way he plays with his hands when he's nervous.
The way he licks his lips when he eats ice cream.(I can't be around him when he eats ice cream because it gives me ideas. Obvious ideas that don't need saying or writing)
The way his skin is lighter under his shirt.(I love it when he wears sleeveless shirts because it gives me a great chance to see where his skin goes from mocha to hazel)
The way his lips felt against mine that day when he accidentally kissed me.
I hate myself for thinking these thoughts about him but I almost don't want to stop. The feelings I have for him aren't as strong as the feelings I have for Alice or even the feelings I have for Headbanger.(More like the feelings I had for Ann Margaret when I was little) They're still feelings though.
Feelings for another boy.
I'm beginning to feel like Messenger.(He likes guys but he'll fuck girls too.) Speaking of Messenger(Like I can) I have great news about him. 1-2-3...
He's got a family!(She Who Was Tied To Bed's adopted family anyway). Want to know something else good that involves him? He and Headbanger are living together now! And the best thing is...
Headbanger had her baby! Really! I've seen it! Her, technically. Her names is Miracle. (Miracle Fool Messenger Roach Robeson.) Poor kid, she's gonna have a lot to spell. Headbanger seems to like the name though it is long. My mother almost had a heart attack when she saw the baby(She probably thought that it was mine, she knows that Headbanger and I fool around sometimes)
Part of me wishes that she was mine.
I wonder what Daddy(Eldon to me now) would say if he heard that I was having these thoughts.
He'd probably whip me with the chain until I couldn't see.(He did it the first time I let it slip that I enjoyed thinking about girls when I was eleven.) My father on the other hand likes that I like girls(He'd probably have a panic attack and and maybe even hurt me if he ever heard about how I'm beginning to have feelings for Fool.)
Well, it's going on midnight so I better be getting some sleep if I want to be rested for the trial.(Mommy and Daddy's trial begins in two days and I've been becoming very nervous about having to testify. She Who Was Tied To Bed is my lawyer and she went through what it would be like to be on the bench but I'm still scared.)
-The nervous wreck known as David Cullen
From the journal of Alice Joyce 'Good Girl' O'Dell:
'9/12/1991
Dear Diary,
I got the idea to write in you from Roach. I got the idea from reading his journal. I call you diary because he says that girls keep diaries and boy's keep journals. He's so smart. That's one of the reasons why I love him.
I love him.
I love so much about him. I love his smile, especially when you can see his tongue stump because it reminds me of how bad a boy he is.
I love the way he always hesitates before he kisses me, it makes it all the more sweeter.
I love the way he traces the scars on my back and tells me that I'm even more beautiful with them.
I love the way he seems to know everything about everything, even when he doesn't.
I love the way he knows exactly where I like to be touched and how fast, even if I don't tell him.
I love the way he sticks his tongue stump out of the corner of his mouth when he really concentrates hard on something. The same goes for when he bites his lip and plays with his hands.
I love the way he lets me see him whether he's naked or crying or shoving food into his mouth.
I love the way the inside of his mouth tastes when our tongues dance.
I love the way his thing feels when it's pressed up against me.
I love the way it feels in my hand.
I love the way it feels in my mouth.
I love the way the white stuff tastes.
I love him but I hate the way he cries.
I hate the way he fears.
I hate the fact that he won't tell me he loves me.
But I love the fact that he does.
Roach is the most amazingly wonderful boy I have ever loved. Fool is a close second. I was in love with Fool for just a little bit, he saved my life after all.
He kisses better than Roach too. When our tongues dance he leads. Our tongues can actually properly dance!
But those are bad thoughts to have.
I love Roach, Fool already has someone to love. He loves Trysta now because they made love.
I which that Roach would make love to me. I'm not sure that he could, he cried when I touched him there.
I wonder what it feels like when it goes inside of me. I can't be having these thoughts because that would make me a very bad girl. I can here Other Mother and Other Father's voice's in my head telling me what a horrible, sinful little girl I am. That makes me want to be the baddest girl I can be.
Alice is a good little girl but Allie is so very sinful and bad.
Alice is the good girl that most people see.
She likes sitting quietly.
She likes to be good.
She doesn't like boys the way Allie likes boys.
Everybody knows Alice.
Allie is only known by Roach and Fool.
Allie likes to touch and be touched.
Allie likes to kiss.
Allie likes to mix spit and dance tongues.
Allie is a very bad girl.
Allie is pregnant. Alice is pregnant too. Debbie said so and she must be telling the truth because she's my older sister. Sister's don't ever lie.
Right?
I'm pregnant because I kissed Roach. I don't regret it though, I like kissing him. I hope that my baby is a girl, I'll call her Lucy like from 'I Love Lucy'.
That's my favorite show. I like TV but not video games. I don't understand them not one bit. Roach likes them though so I pretend to like them too just like he pretends to like romantic movies and playing with dolls.
I used to sew dolls to hold the souls of people when they died. I felt like a reaper sometimes as I trapped their souls forever in the house just like I was. I hope that the souls were set free like I was and the people under the stairs were.
Like we were meant to be.
The people under the stairs have always scared me. I've seen them only a handful of times when they'd get out of the cellar and through the vents. Once a whole bunch of them got out ad raided the kitchen when I was 10. I even remember the names they called each other.
Messenger.
Twig.
Bites.
Headbanger.
Stairmaster.
Toad.
This was in the middle of the night and me and Roach, he was David when this happened, went and saw what was happening. They were smelly and filthy and scary but at the same time interesting. They looked almost like children. They looked like half finished dolls except for the one who kept calling himself Messenger. He still had his eyes, ears, and tongue. He wore a filthy red blanket and that was the first time I ever saw a boy's thing even if it was just a brief glimpse. I don't even remember what it looked like or anything after that because then shots were fired. The once called Toad died but the others made off with a lot of food. Me and Roach don't know what happened next because he were made to lie on the lit stove for getting out of bed. It was a good thing that they didn't know that we had seen them or we would have had our eyes cut out for seeing evil. That was the day the cupboards were padlocked for the first time.
I hope that they pay.
Real mother and father say that other mother and father are going to pay for what they did to me but I'm not sure. The police never believed any of the people that knew so why would they start now. Maybe because we were all free to tell our story? I want them to pay for what they did, to die for what they did. After all doesn't a person get what they deserve. It's like in that book I read called 'Matilda': when a person is bad that person needs to be punished and they were very bad.
I'm very bad.
And I know that I'm going to burn in hell when I die.'
From the journal of Poindexter 'Fool' Williams Murphy
'September 12th, 1991
Dear Journal,
I'm not gonna say journal because I'm not gay. Just because I got drunk and a guy popped my cherry doesn't mean I'm gay. Let me start from the beginning. We used to live in the ghetto and we were about to get evicted but then these guys Leroy and Spencer had me help them break into the landlord's house. Worst mistake of my life. These people were really messed up. They had people locked up in their cellar! They never let them or Alice or Roach out. Alice is this girl that's really messed up, Roach even more. They're my friends though, well not so much now. Alice picked Roach over me and Roach...did something horrible.
He hurt me.
He hurt me.
HE HURT ME.
We were at this party his sister was throw and we got really drunk. I remember what happened and he probably doesn't.
First he touched me.
Then he wet down on me.
Then he popped my cherry.
He was so big and so fast. He made me bleed and cum. He cried when he did it. I cried too. I had to prove that I wasn't gay so I slept with his little sister who says that she's twelve but she seems younger. Her name is Trysta and she's my girlfriend now. I like her but I feel like I'm just using her. I don't go to her house too often because Roach is there. I feel weird and afraid of him. I don't know how I'm going to face him when he have to go to the trial thing. I'm not going to be sent to juvie because the lawyer says that Leroy told me to so I'm not responsible for what I did. I'm glad that I'm not going to juvie, I wanna be a doctor and I can't with a prison record. I'm going to be able to go to medschool now because of the gold coins that Roach gave me from the landlord's house. I guess that I owe him for all he did for me but that doesn't excuse the fact that he hurt me. He took advantage of me. He took me. He took me and I took his little sister. I really am messed up.
-Poindexter otherwise known as Fool
From the journal of Eldon Robeson
'9.12.1991
Dear Journal,
I'm in jail and it's all the bearscout's fault. If he hadn't broken in I'd still be with my wonderful wife and whore of a daughter. I've never been away from Mommy or even home for this long. I'm scared. I miss my guns and the power I held, especially over my prisoners. Now I'm the prisoner and the others hold power over me. They do to me what I did to my sons and daugters. They beat me, cut me, burn me, and make me their toy. This is all Roach's fault now that I think of it. The little animal shit saved the bearscout and made my perfect little girl into a whore. He probably took her. I'm supposed to take her. I almost did but he shot me. Actually this is all my sister Eloise's fault. She had to be a bad girl and be my pet. She got pregnant and was put in the cellar but she gave birth to a child under there and that child had a child. I know more than I let on. If she had been good and stayed in the house than I wouldn't have had to take children when Mommy couldn't have anymore, I could have made some perfect children with her. I'll get out of here though, things always work out for me. I'm a very good boy.
-Daddy'
