24Evidently Jane and Lisbon's bickering has made more of an impression on the collective consciousness than any other aspect of their relationship, but that's probably because fights, being entertaining, get more screen time. Taking that into account, they don't actually fight that much. Mostly it's friendly banter. She gets irritated when he withholds information or won't tell her his theories, and she gets angry when he directly disobeys her or does something illegal that will get her in trouble, but the rest of the time they get on really well. So this is my take on what they do with some of the many hours they spend together that we don't get to see (but which, hopefully, their creators will show us more of next season). In the interests of personal growth, I even branched out into a tiny bit of dialogue. Still no plot, though.
FROM A TO B
The Serious Crimes Unit usually took two cars when they went anywhere on a case. Being creatures of habit, they had a routine that they rarely varied. Lisbon always drove one of the cars, and it didn't occur to Jane not to ride with her. This meant that in the days before Van Pelt had joined the team, Cho and Rigsby had automatically ridden together in the other car (taking it in turns to drive). No-one had ever really given much thought to this arrangement, as it seemed as logical and inevitable as fallen leaves in autumn and flowers in spring.
Then poor Van Pelt had arrived and had watched everybody automatically going to their usual spots without it occurring to anyone that she didn't know where she was supposed to go. She was more than slightly terrified of Lisbon, and didn't want to unknowingly do the wrong thing (like the incident where she had checked her luggage on the plane). But whichever way she looked at it, the idea of being stuck in a vehicle with Lisbon and Jane for an extended period of time (well, any time at all, actually) horrified her. On the other hand, Jane had made sure that she and Rigsby felt thoroughly awkward in each other's company by telling her the first day he met her (in front of the whole team) that Rigsby wanted to sleep with her. It was going to take them a little while to recover from that.
In the end, of course, she had settled for the lesser of the two evils and joined Cho and Rigsby. And so a new tradition was born. Once she had settled into her job properly and got to know everyone better, Van Pelt began to privately think of their car as the kids' car and of Jane and Lisbon as the parental unit in the other car. Jane, despite the fact that he could act like a small child more convincingly than many small children can, was still the only one of them who could really be considered Lisbon's equal. The rest of them were too accustomed to respecting authority, and too in awe of Lisbon herself, to ever really consider challenging her on anything.
Theoretically Lisbon was also Jane's supervisor, but nobody took that very seriously, least of all Lisbon herself. Jane and hierarchical structures had never meshed very well. He did what he wanted when he wanted, and it was no use pretending otherwise. On the rare occasions when he reined himself in, it was because he liked and respected her, not because she was his boss. Having a rather contrary disposition, he would be more inclined not to listen to someone just because they were his boss, rather than the other way around. He did sometimes call her 'Boss' like the others did, but it was always with a mischievous glint in his eye and a tone dripping with sarcasm. And on rare occasions she did try to pull rank on him (with mixed success). But mostly neither of them bothered. They knew that the balance of power between them was evenly balanced, and it generally suited them both just fine that way. It is a lonely thing to be in a position of responsibility and power, and Lisbon did not underestimate the worth of having someone to both challenge her and tease her.
The kid car always set out with a large supply of food, but no matter how well-stocked they appeared to be at the start of a journey, they always, without fail, ran out. Which meant they inevitably had to stop somewhere along the way for more food, because Rigsby without food was as annoying a travelling companion as a kid who asks "Are we there yet?" every 20 seconds. Fortunately they always had time to do this, because Lisbon drove more slowly than the others did. She didn't like to stop for anything if she could avoid it, but this never bothered Jane. He merely observed quietly, as if to himself, "Slow and steady wins the race." Which Lisbon found mildly insulting, of course, but didn't dignify with a response. Jane merely raised one eyebrow at her, smiled smugly and felt as though he had won that round. Only on points, obviously, but a win is still a win. When your opponent is well-known for her killer knock-out punch, you take your victories where you can.
Cho never minded relinquishing the driving to one of the others. When he wasn't driving, he chose to sit in the back seat and read. This left Van Pelt and Rigsby in the front arguing about the usual things that people do when stuck together in a small metal coffin on wheels for too much time – criticising how the driver is driving; arguing over the radio station or CD choices; disagreeing on the route being taken; and - a Van Pelt and Rigsby favourite - arguing about food. They also had long involved discussions on sports, police work, and, if all else failed, theories about Jane's supposedly fake talents as a psychic. This latter topic sometimes even drew Cho away from his book and into the discussion. It often got a little heated. Van Pelt wasn't certain that Jane was really psychic, but because Cho was certain that he wasn't, she ended up defending her position with more determination than she actually felt. Rigsby generally opted out of the argument once Cho and Van Pelt started getting too excited about it. He didn't feel strongly either way, and preferred to discuss it as an intriguing enigma rather than a showdown of beliefs.
The 'parent' car was an oasis of peace by comparison. Lisbon and Jane had the division of labour neatly worked out. Jane never got to drive and, apart from the occasional snide remark about how sedately Lisbon drove (which she ignored), he never paid attention to or criticised her driving. He also never bothered to find out where they were going or how they were going to get there. Lisbon's sense of direction was as uncanny as his ability to read people. She was one of those people who always knows where north is and has a natural affinity for maps. Besides which, she actually followed the directions her GPS gave her and would have been happy to stop and ask for directions should the need have arisen. In all the time Jane had known her, though, this had never happened. Lisbon just didn't get lost.
Jane took care of the music and the food. He loved music and was very knowledgeable about it. He also knew Lisbon well enough to be able to choose music that he instinctively knew she would like. He always kept the volume low and, so far, Lisbon had never complained. As far as food was concerned, he knew that Lisbon, left to her own devices, wouldn't bother to eat while driving. So he made sure that he handed her food she couldn't object to (like apples and sandwiches full of greenery) in a "You will eat this, young lady!" kind of way. Which she did. It wouldn't have occurred to either of them to stop for more food even if they had finished what they had with them, which they almost never did. Jane had a tendency to always pack more than they would ever eat, knowing that it would never go to waste. Rigsby, with his homing instinct for all things edible, would track it down and eat it as soon as he had access to the car.
Their conversations usually started out case related. Once that topic was exhausted, they would sit in comfortable silence for a while, until one or other of them would spontaneously start talking about a more general topic. Jane's music often got them talking, but they had a wide range – art, architecture, politics, the economy, global warming... the list was endless. Whatever the topic, their conversations were all laced with their usual bantering, teasing and humour.
Sometimes they discussed the team, whom they both thought of almost as family. Lisbon always valued Jane's insights and used them in constructive ways that he would never have thought of himself. She was interested in anything that would help her train her agents, improve them as a team and improve her own leadership skills. They avoided anything too personal. Lisbon kept her past out of bounds, which actually suited Jane fine, because it meant he didn't have to discuss who he was before he knew her either. The less said about that, the better.
"So, Lisbon, I hope you didn't have too much invested in General Motors? See, I told you you shouldn't underestimate and insult French cars."
Lisbon snorted. "Like I would invest my hypothetical money in car stocks."
"Fair enough. Cars - boring. Microsoft? Google? Coca Cola? Disney?"
"What makes you think I wouldn't just keep it all under my mattress?"
"Well, I'm sure that would be your first choice, my dear. But let's say, for argument's sake, that you had a few tequilas in you and so had decided to bypass government bonds entirely and head straight into the wild and dangerous world of the stock market. Which stocks would you invest in?"
"I don't drink tequila."
"Good grief, use your imagination, woman!"
"Okay, fine. Let's imagine that this guy, um... James, wins a whole lot of money gambling at a casino. James very generously spends some of it on gifts for his friends, but what does he do with all the rest of it?"
"You know, you can't claim to be using your imagination by recounting actual events, Lisbon."
"I made up his name, didn't I? Anyway, you started this."
Jane sighed. "Well, when James tried to give jewellery to the beautiful women in his life, he was told that this was a waste of money. After staying awake the whole night thinking about this, James decided to give his ill-gotten gains - and the frivolous jewellery, of course - to Planet Aid. Barring the $300 that he owed to the person who had originally lent him his start-up gambling money. Which, I might add, was an excellent investment."
Lisbon glanced across at Jane and gave him the most wonderful smile, making his heart give a strange little erratic jump. That was the smile he had been hoping to get when he gave her the emerald necklace and earrings. He should have known her better than that.
"You gave away the money from the poker game, too, didn't you." It wasn't a question.
"Well, never let it be said that I don't listen to you, Lisbon. Speaking of poker, I heard a rumour that you're quite good at the game. Funny how you never mentioned that to me."
"Who told you I know how to play poker?"
"A little bird. I keep my ears open. So, when are we going to play?"
"Let's just stick to chess, shall we?"
"But we already know you can beat me at chess."
"Sometimes."
"Well, that's more than most people. Come on, it'll be fun. We don't need to gamble with actual money, if that's what's worrying you."
"Hmm. I'll think about it."
Jane was happy with that. He knew better than to push with Lisbon, because that always met with instant resistance. No, you had to play the long game with her - plant a suggestion and then wait patiently. Eventually, she'd come around. Slow and steady wins the race, indeed.
"What do you think Jane and Lisbon talk about when they're stuck in the car together for hours on end?" Van Pelt wondered aloud.
"You and Rigsby, probably," Cho said, without lifting his eyes from his book.
An alarmed swerve of the car indicated Rigsby's reaction to that idea. Van Pelt turned wide, horrified eyes to Cho.
"You don't really think they do, do you?" she demanded in dismay. Logically she knew that Cho was teasing, but even the outside chance that he could be right appalled her.
Rigsby, having regained his self-possession (and control of the car), responded with, "He's just yanking your chain. I'm sure they're too busy fighting about whatever stupid thing Jane did this week to bother about us."
Cho gave an enigmatic little half smile and preserved a diplomatic silence. An uneasy quiet descended on the kid car.
Jane, despite his posturing about wanting to drive and to get wherever they were going as fast as possible, actually liked being a passenger, especially when Lisbon was driving. She was a good driver and so completely in control of herself and the vehicle and where they were going that Jane was able to experience that great sense of freedom that little kids have of knowing that nothing is required of them and everything is taken care of. He liked being able to look out the window and absorb the world passing by outside. California was a state full of variation and contrast, and they got to drive all over it and really appreciate the size and beauty of the place they made their home. Sky, sea, desert, mountain, wood, river, village and town; Jane got to sit and take it all in. It was very therapeutic.
Lisbon liked driving places with Jane. It was peaceful and undemanding. Even the music was generally mellow and pleasing. And he was really very sweet, the way he always gave her food. It took her a long time to get used to the sensation of someone taking care of her like that. And Jane was always an entertaining companion. He could make talking about the weather amusing. Somehow, when the two of them were completely alone like this, they became much more their real selves with each other than at any other time. Like they knew it was safe to come out of hiding. They didn't ruin it by trying to pry into each other's private lives, but they were relaxed in each other's company in a way that they rarely were any other time. Sometimes she wished those car rides would just go on and on.
It was always with slight regret that they drove up to their destination, climbed out of their bubble and were forced back into the fray of real life.
Jane and Lisbon both noticed that Rigsby and Van Pelt kept giving them slightly alarmed looks. Cho, meanwhile, was looking suspiciously innocent. Guessing that he had been teasing the two younger agents again, they traded an amused look. Rigsby and Van Pelt were just going to have to learn to deal with it, because Jane and Lisbon were not planning on inviting anyone else into their car anytime soon.
