25Author's Note: This story follows events in my two M-rated TDI sex parodies
(the second of which got very serious near the end),
but you don't need to read those to understand this special tale.
All you need to know is that, at the end of those epic adult yarns, Courtney, Heather and Izzy
turned the tables on Chris and Chef and the campers took control of their destinies.
Also, Chris Maclean and Chef are believed dead, though they aren't.
The two faked their deaths, and were last seen in a mechanical shark submarine en route to Thailand, presumably to sell bootleg tapes of the X-rated show the TDI teens thought they had stopped.
Anything else you need to know will be revealed as the story unfolds.
Also, the 22 TDI contestants are a couple years older (18), and pairings are
Gwen/Trent, Heather/DJ, Izzy/Owen, Courtney/Duncan, Eva/Justin,
Katie/Sadie, Beth/Cody, Bridgette/Geoff, LeShawna/Harold and Lindsay/Tyler
(Noah and Ezekiel are not attached to anyone, although Noah is a special case.
Keep reading to find out why).
Oh...Almost forgot. At least one camper dies in every chapter.
You'll never guess who the first victim is! Heh heh.
TDI: Torture Cruise
Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright Fresh TV Inc.
The author is in no way associated with the owners of the copyright.
This story was written for non-profit entertainment purposes only.
Chapter One: Totally Dramatic Cruise
There are some things I'd thought I'd never see. Gwen mused to herself.
One was a few months ago...
"I'm...I'm sorry I snapped at you when you were trying to apologize to me, Gwen. Friends?" the girl with the long, dark hair said as she extended her hand.
"S-sure, Heather." the shocked Goth responded as she shakily shook the hand of the one contestant who previously always acted like the stuck-up Queen Bee.
"Great! Well, see ya!" Heather added with a wave and a grin as she walked away.
"Bye!" Gwen smiled.
"There! Are you satisfied?" Heather said to DJ.
The other is right now...
We're all together.
Again!
Although it is a bit different this time.
"Geoff! My man! High-five!"
"Owen!" Geoff yelled as he met the huge boy's palm high in the air. "I didn't think you'd make it! I heard you and Izzy got in trouble with the Egyptian government when you did that Discovery Channel show and totally wrecked the Sphinx' nose! Totally wicked, dude!"
"We didn't wreck it! Izzy was actually trying to put the nose back on! But yeah, we were in a lot of trouble and only got out yesterday. We never woulda made it, except..."
"We flew here as close as we could, then choppered the rest of the way in!" Izzy cackled. "Owie was crying the whole time! He's such a big baby when it comes to air travel!"
"Izzy!" Owen grumbled. "Anyway, it's great to be back for TDI! But I don't get it. Chris and Chef are gone, so who's doing the show? And why are we on a cruise ship?"
"I can answer some of your questions." the young man announced to the assembled group of former campers.
"Noah?! This whole thing is your doing?!" an amazed Justin shouted.
"Some of us have to rely on things other than our good looks." Noah snarkily replied to the one guy who was the opposite of him, the 'anti-me'.
"It's very simple, really." Noah explained. "Since we're all 18, we can sign contracts with whoever we want, so we're free to do our own TV show as long as we call it something else. FYI, Owen: It's not TDI, it's 'Totally Dramatic Cruise', or "TDC'."
"Ohhhhh. I gotcha!" Owen said. "I can see why you're the smart one!"
"And, since Chris and his insane helper, Chef, vanished, we don't have to worry about any competition! So it was easy to get a network interested in a new show."
"You wouldn't have any ulterior motives for reuniting all of us, would you? Such as, seeing someone again?"
"Beth! Noah wouldn't do that! Besides, he knows I'm not going to fall for him! I'm not gay like he is!" Cody reassured his girlfriend.
"Excuse me, but I'm not gay. I'm Bi!" Noah corrected his one-time crush.
"Good line, dude!" Duncan commented privately to Noah. "I tell Courtney the exact same thing!"
"You tell Courtney what, Duncan?" the preppie, who overheard her boyfriend, demanded.
"Errrr..."
"Great. I can see it's going to be just as much fun as last time!" Noah dryly said. "Anyhoo, this time all the action takes place either here on the cruise ship or at various ports of call. It was a lot of work to set up! Luckily, I had some help. Heather, here, secured the cruise ship through her rich daddy's company!"
"Yeah, and I bet she got the best rooms, too!" LeShawna barked.
"That's not true! You all have the same accommodations." Noah pointed out.
"The same luxurious state room accommodations, might I add? I refused to let them treat us like Chris did! We even have a spa! Nobody rush to thank me all at once." Heather sniped.
Her bitchy rant was followed by very weak applause, and even weaker praise.
"Yay, Heather!" Gwen cheered all by herself. "Anyone?"
"Way to go, Heath, eh?" Ezekiel said.
"Awesome." Harold added with a lame fist pump. "Boo-yah."
But that was it. Most stood there quietly and stared at the despised, raven-haired beauty.
"Fine! Be that way! I don't care!" Heather griped.
"Heather...It'll take 'em time to warm up to you, you know?" her boyfriend, DJ, assured her.
"Doesn't deserve him." Lindsay muttered under her breath.
"What was that, Lindsay?" Heather sternly asked.
"Nothing." Lindsay mumbled.
"If you've got something to say, say it to my face!"
"I said DJ's too good for you! So there! And by the way, your shoes are still tacky!"
Heather fumed for a moment, then found her voice.
"At least I know the name of the boy I'm screwing!" Heather shot back.
"That's it! You and me! Now!" the normally sweet Lindsay dared, balling her fists, but Tyler, Geoff and Bridgette held her back.
"Are you crazy?" Gwen talked her blonde friend down. "Heather's had spy training! She probably knows 10 ways to kill someone using only her bare hands!"
"Heather's a spy?" Owen trembled. "Oh no! Now that we know, she'll have to kill us all!"
"Owen..." Heather began. "...It doesn't matter if you know I'm a spy, as long as you keep it to yourself."
"Whew! That's a relief!" Owen mopped his sweaty brow.
"But if you tell people, and it gets out, I'll lose my job! And then I will kill you!" Heather punctuated her threat with a finger poke in Owen's chest.
"Eep!" Owen jumped back in terror.
"Save the drama for the show, kids!" Noah instructed. "Now, who's up for the banquet before we go on the tour of the ship?"
"Food? Oh boy! Why didn't you say so?!" Owen yelped.
"The food isn't even the best part! Have I mentioned the special prize the winner will receive?" Noah teased.
"No. What's the special prize?" Gwen asked.
"It's a secret."
After everyone else ate, Owen was still going at it, shoveling plateful after plateful of food down his hungry gullet.
"C'mon, Owie! Noah's going to show us the big boat!" Izzy said as she futilely pulled on the rotund teen's meaty arm.
"Why? There's still food left! Go ahead. I'll catch up with you later! Chomp munch gulp!"
The cruise ship was rather large, so it took a while for Noah to show everyone around.
"...And this is the shark tank, for the extreme challenge!" Noah proudly declared as the sharks inside the tank swam menacingly. "That'll be after the food challenge."
"A food challenge? That's an easy win for Owen!" Courtney complained.
"Yes, but Owen's a fan favorite. So we have to give him his spotlight!" Noah reasoned.
"Speaking of the big guy..." Duncan quipped as the group returned to the banquet room. "Are you still eating? Save some for the rest of..."
Then the reality game show survivors gasped!
Before them, Owen lay on the banquet table...dead!
His body was blown up to a massively huge size, much greater than normal, and there were...holes...where not even his roly poly skin could expand any more. Thus, they broke, spilling his guts out.
Placed upon his corpse was a sign. It read 'He was warned not to eat any more.'
The campers all freaked! They began screaming bloody murder, and ran for their life!
But they didn't get far.
From the ceiling vents, gas issued forth.
Soon, all lay unconscious on the deck floor.
OmiGod!
Owen's dead!
And he was the most popular member of the cast!
No one is safe!
Who will be the next to die?
You'll have to read the next chapter to find out!
