90A/N: Hello and welcome to my sixth fanfic for Bleach. Like the others, this one is a yuri pairing. Retsu Unohana X Soi Fon. If you do not approve of this sort of pairing go find something else to read. This fic is rated M and at some point will contain material of a sexual nature. If you do not approve of that, go find something else to read as well. Everyone else, please enjoy the ride.
DIsclaimer: If I got a free Ice Cream truck, I'd be happy, but I still wouldn't own Bleach.
Loneliness. That's all there was. That's all there ever was. Sure, there were moments of happiness in her past, but none of them were fated to last. For all her longing, she never got the one thing she actually wanted: to be loved.
She had thought she was loved in the past. Certainly she had been in love in the past. Then her beloved left her without a word. Loneliness made her cold, it made her bitter, it made her indignant, but it never replaced in her that girlish desire to have another hold her, to have another love her.
Then, after one hundred years of darkness, her love appeared before her again. Her heart had fumed with choleric anger at seeing the one who had abandoned her, crushed her, yet again. However, in all her fury she had never come close to abandoning the original feelings of love. Her glorious stand came to an end with her, a trained warrior and assassin, at her knees in tears as she begged for answers to her heartbreak. The tears, the cries, the helpless, pathetic display she put on, none of it stopped her love from leaving her behind once more.
"Captain Soi Fon, your opinion please," the powerful voice of Head-Captain Yamamoto arrested the girl from her thoughts.
Soi Fon looked around. She didn't even know where he was at first. Her body felt weak and her mind was cloudy. It didn't take her long to realize she was standing with the other nine active Captains of the Gotei 13 in the Seireitei meeting hall. Everyone was staring at her, waiting for her to make some sort of response.
"Umm... well, you see... I guess that could possibly work..." Soi Fon looked down at her feet as she gave a simple response. She honestly had no clue what they had been talking about before.
Shunsui Kyoraku, the best humored of the group, gave a polite but definite snicker while all the rest continued to stare at her.
"Captain Soi Fon, that response inadequately addresses what has been asked of you," the sixth division's Byakuya Kuchiki said coldly, causing Soi Fon to blush.
"I apologize General Yamamoto and my fellow Captains... I-I... failed to correctly hear the question..." The Captain of the Second Division could not believe how embarrassed she felt.
"What's the matter, Captain, cat on your mind?" Mayuri Kurotsuchi, the bizarre captain of the 12th squad said with a cruel grin. Soi Fon glared at him.
"Shut up, Kurotsuchi!" Soi Fon growled viciously, though her weary condition prevented her from even reaching a fraction of the anger she was truly capable of.
"Enough! We were discussing the preparations we should take in regards to the recent betrayal by Captain Aizen and the others. General Yamamoto has asked what sort of role the Special Forces should play in the upcoming battle. Try not to get distracted, Captain," the youngest captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya, scolded vehemently.
Soi Fon's embarrassment became evident once more, as she tried to come up with a response with her blurred brain, "I see... I apologize... the Special Forces should be ideal for-"
"As I see it, we don't need any of that Special Forces crap, all we gotta do is go in there and kick Aizen and every single hollow loyal to him's ass," Kenpachi Zaraki of the eleventh division said forcefully, his hand atop the sword he wore at his side.
"Yes, but not everyone has your vigor, Kenpachi. Charging into Hueco Mundo and battling every opponent in our way, is a sure path to undue casualties. Wouldn't it be better to see if we could use stealth to eliminate some of our foes?" Captain Jushiro Ukitake said in a weak voice.
"Tch, sneakin' up on people like that ain't how real men fight..." Kenpachi growled mostly to himself.
Sajin Komamura, the bestial captain of the seventh squad gave a low growl, "Back to the Head-Captain's question... what is the outlook for the special forces?"
"Right," Soi Fon tried her absolute best to reclaim her focus, but for some reason her entire being seemed to lack energy, "Even with our stealth training, there's little we can do... Our enemy is largely unknown at this point. Sending anyone in there, regardless... regardless of how well they can conceal themselves, is likely suicide at this point..."
"I agree, it is far too early to take any such risks. We must wait until our enemy makes his move," Byakuya said in his almost apathetic manner. His voice became harder to hear for Soi Fon as he spoke. Something felt wrong. The only thing she could hear clearly was her own heart racing.
"Yes. That is for the best. We must wait to see what sort of enemy it is we face..." Yamamoto's powerful voice was but a muffled whisper in Soi Fon's ears. She could feel her body shaking as her strength left her.
She was still barely conscious as her legs gave out and she fell backwards expecting to hit the floor. Instead her downward progress was impeded as a warm embrace caught her. A gentle feminine voice spoke as everything went black.
"Every thing will be alright, Captain Soi Fon..."
The night air felt cold on her skin as she sat by a tree underneath a full moon. Leaning back to lie in the grass she found her head ease into the lap or another. She looked up with wide, gentle eyes to see her sitting there with a lucid smile.
She was beautiful in every way. Her lustrous dark purple hair, her piercing yellow eyes, her smooth dark skin, that heavenly smile, all of it made a creature so captivating that even the titles "princess" and "goddess" failed to truly capture her beauty.
"Lady Yoruichi, what did I do to deserve the opportunity to feel your warmth like this?" she cooed softly as she ran her smooth, warm hand through her hair.
"You didn't have to do anything, Soi Fon, just be there to feel it..." her soft, lush voice made her heart flutter with every syllable.
"I love you, you know," she said languidly as her eyes found focus in the depths of those belonging to the beautiful creature above her.
"I know. I love you as well, Soi Fon." The words that left her lips, left her feeling as if she was melting into her arms. She felt so happy as she stared up past her goddess and into the sky. A single dark cloud cast itself over the full moon.
"If that is true, why did you leave me all alone, Lady Yoruichi?" she couldn't stop the tears from entering her eyes.
No response came. Her hand stilled at the top of her head. Her hair lost its luster and her eyes lost their glimmer. Her smile finally faded.
"Answer me, Lady Yoruichi! If you really care about me, why did you abandon me?! Why did you leave me all alone?!" she shouted as she sat up and turned toward the other.
Still no response came. Looking at her, she appeared to be completely motionless, frozen to time as if she wasn't even real. As she continued to watch, she began to disintegrate into the air bit by bit until nothing was left behind except for a shapeless mass of blackness.
"Please, I don't want to be alone!" a helpless scream left her lips as her eyes closed.
"You're not alone Captain Soi Fon, I'm here right now," a soft, serene voice whispered. Suddenly she felt warm again. She opened her eyes
Soi Fon was no longer lying in the grass. There was no tree, no moon, no cold breeze, and no Yoruichi Shihoin. Instead the lovesick Captain of the Second Division of the Gotei 13 was in an unfamiliar room, on an unfamiliar bed, resting in the arms of an all too familiar woman, Fourth Division Captain Retsu Unohana.
"U-Uno- Captain Unohana? W-what's going on? Where am I?" Soi Fon said in a frantic fashion as she struggled to sit up. Her body felt so weak.
"You collapsed during the meeting, Captain Soi Fon. This is the Fourth Division's medical wing," Retsu answered politely, an amiable smile upon her elegant countenance.
Soi Fon vaguely remembered the embarrassing meeting. She calmed down as the pieces fell in place. One thing still troubled her however.
"Why were you holding my like that, Captain Unohana?" the younger captain asked with averted eyes and a blush upon her cheeks.
The benevolent woman continued to smile sweetly as she explained, "Your condition left you shivering from cold in your sleep. As a healer it is my duty to do what is best for the patient and that includes using my own body heat to help keep them warm."
Soi Fon would have proceeded to ask why Retsu didn't just throw a few blankets on top of her or something, but now she had a different question. "What condition? What's wrong with me?" she near-demanded.
"You have an extraordinary fever, Captain Soi Fon," Retsu's voice held a slight solemn quality.
"F-fever?" Soi Fon twitched at the sound of the word.
"Yes, the same sort of terrible fever that fell upon you one hundred years ago," the serene woman softly muttered.
Soi Fon remembered what the woman spoke of. Immediately after Yoruichi Shihoin left Soi Fon and the Soul Society behind for the first time, she fell terribly ill. Her body had become weak and non-responsive, to the point where emerging as the new Captain of Division 2 had been nothing short of an incredible feat for her. After months of trying to battle the illness on her own, it suddenly flared up and left her in this same woman's care. Retsu Unohana saw her vacated of physical ill in a matter of days.
"Why does this happen to me?" Soi Fon asked in a low, almost vulnerable fashion.
"I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you that, Captain," the healer said dourly as she shut her eyes.
"B-but I don't understand! Why would she... why would that cause my body to become so weak?" Soi Fon pondered how miserable she must have looked.
"We shinigami are spirit forms, Captain Soi Fon. There is no difference between one's spirit and one's body, and one's heart happens to be steadfastly linked to one's spirit. It shouldn't be surprising then to lean, Captain Soi Fon, that most of the illness facing shinigami would be psychophysiological," Retsu's eyes held kindness and sadness as she spoke.
"Psycho-physio-logical?"
"It refers to a physical ailment brought on by an emotional trigger rather than a pathogenic one. Such illnesses can be detrimental to a shinigami's general health and wellness," the benign woman's eyes held concern.
"How do I get better?" Soi Fon asked, she wanted desperately to rid herself of the aching weakness gripping her body.
"Just like I did one hundred years ago, I can treat the symptoms just as one treats the symptoms of any pathologic disease. However, you will run the risk of the symptoms reemerging whenever the trigger resurfaces."
"So basically, all I have to do is avoid Lady Yoruichi the rest of my life and I'll keep my health..." Soi Fon sad gravely, as if it was a horrible, bleak prospect.
"If only it was that easy," Retsu gave a deep sigh.
"W-what do you mean by that?!" Soi Fon asked immediately. She couldn't see anything easy about it at all.
"Tell me, Captain, would avoiding her keep you from thinking about her and having dreams like the one just now?" The question made Soi Fon shiver.
"Of course not! I-I l-love her. Forgetting her entirely is impossible," Soi Fon near shouted, scared and angry.
"I never said to forget Captain Shihoin, Captain Soi Fon. In fact, that would probably be the most unhealthy move you could ever make," Retsu said in such a tranquil manner it forced the other's temper to immediately even.
"So what do I do then? If I couldn't get over her in a hundred years, how am I supposed to now?" the smaller girl said with a downtrodden expression.
"Maybe you went about it wrong the first time..."
"I devoted that entire century to training to become stronger than her..." the younger captain reflected.
"As I see it, you aren't the type of person where that sort of thing works, Captain Soi Fon. Surpassing her was never something that truly mattered to you. All that ever mattered for you was one thing," the fair captain divulged her view.
"And what is that?" Soi Fon asked, knowing the answer she would receiving and how very true it was.
"Love," Retsu said in a faint voice, almost as a whisper, "You desire to be loved. It's the only thing you truly want and thus is the only thing you truly need."
"I..." Soi Fon started. There was nothing she could think to say. Soi Fon had always thought she was strong. She was a trained shinigami and assassin, a captain of the Gotei 13, words like "love" were supposed to have no meaning to someone like her. But Retsu Unohana was one of those women whose very presence was so daunting it couldn't be challenged. Hearing it from this woman's lips, Soi Fon knew it was true. She really was weak after all.
"You were brought up, Captain Soi Fon, to lead your life with the sole purpose of serving a single person. Captain Shihoin was the meaning of your life. Now she is no longer within your reach," the soft-spoken woman offered a modest smile.
"You don't have to tell me that, Captain," Soi Fon said with a hint of bitterness.
"It has become instinctual for you to want to live for someone else's sake. Your spirit does not feel at ease when it is intimately alone. That is why, when you are reminded of you're loneliness, your health deteriorates," Retsu's smile became a memory as her expression evened.
"So you're telling me I need to find someone new?!" the Second Division Captain shouted, not because the idea made her angry but because it frightened her.
"That seems like the most obvious course of action..." Retsu's reply came promptly, her not flinching in the slightest at the other's raised voice.
"And why should I believe you?! What makes you think you understand me so well?!" Soi Fon didn't want to yell at this woman who seemed to embody warmth and kindness, but her body was cold and in pain, her mind was a little fogged and Retsu Unohana was asking her to give up on Lady Yoruichi.
"That is just my diagnosis, Captain Soi Fon, as an experienced healer and as a friend..." these words caused Soi Fon to realize how stupid she was acting.
"I apologize, Captain Unohana. it was out of line for me to raise my voice like that," the apology put a soft smile on Retsu's face.
"I understand how much she means to you, Captain Soi Fon. I understand how difficult it is."
Soi Fon looked at the other woman. Maybe she was weak, but she wasn't helpless. She had ambition. She didn't want to become just a miserable creature, too broken to be of any use. She was the type to face any difficult obstacle head-on and find or make a way to overcome it.
"I suppose I will try. I don't know what luck I'll have. As Captain of the Second Division and Commander of the Special Forces, I doubt there's anyone even worth my time," Soi Fon said in a bit of a huff, a snarl still about her face.
"I could assist you then, Captain Soi Fon," Retsu said with a fuller smile.
"Assist me? How?"
"People have a strange tendency to do what I tell them. I could arrange meetings with people who are maybe worth the time of even someone such as yourself," Retsu's gentle smirk stayed as she spoke.
"And why would you do something like that?" Soi Fon asked, slightly intimidated by the somewhat blunt statement.
"As I said before, it is the duty of the healer to do whatever it takes to address her patients' ills in the best way possible," the Fourth Division's Captain replied.
"I see," Soi Fon stated simply. She knew that if left lone she'd have put a half-hearted effort into this. Retsu probably knew this as well.
"Then it's settled. I'll begin making arrangements right away," Retsu said as she stood to leave. Soi Fon stood as well.
"Thank you for everything, Captain Unohana," Soi Fon gave a gracious bow before walking ahead of the woman and toward the door.
"And where do you think you're going, Captain?" Retsu's question sent a shiver down Soi Fon's spine.
"Y-you're done looking at me, right? I was going to head back now..." the younger captain turned around nervously.
"But, Captain Soi Fon, that's simply out of the question. Your fever hasn't gone down completely; you still need to rest," the poised woman said as hospitably as ever.
"It's just a fever, Captain. I'm sure I'd be able to manage it fine on my own," Soi Fon assured with a soft laugh.
"Your fever hasn't gone down completely; you still need to rest," the woman repeated in the exact same tone as before. For some reason, this time it was more convincing.
"A-alright..." Soi Fon said softly as she walked back towards the bed and sat on it once more.
"Rest well, Captain Soi Fon," Retsu's pleasing voice filled Soi Fon's ears as she laid back onto the bed. As she closed her eyes she wondered what sort of dream might await her this time.
A/N: That's it for the first chapter. I hope it wasn't boring. I tried to make it sweet and cute, something not very hard with these two. Retsu is such a fun character to write. And of course Soi is just adorable. The next chapter should be fun with a bit more humor. I don't know what else to really say. Tell me what you thought. i like reviews.
In my weekly poll this week I asked my readers who they thought would make a better main character of Bleach than Ichigo out of a selection of characters i chose. After seeing the results, I have to say that my readers really suck right now (not really, you guys are awesome and your reviews make me happy). 13 out of 31 of you think Hitsugaya would make a good main character, and you should all know by now that I irrationally hate him. Good thing you had some sense and at least put Soi Fon ahead of that bastard with 18 votes. That would be an interesting show, the romantic adventures of Soi Fon and her Yoruichi-sama (yes, I actually prefer Yoruichi-sama to Lady Yoruichi, but just using selective honorifics seems slightly tacky to me and since I don't have the patience to memorize how each and every character refers to every other character, you get stuck with it). Grimmjow was another leader in the poll at 10; I can see a show focusing on a character like him. Rangiku and Karin tied for fourth. I'm not sure how good a show with Rangiku as the lead would be she seems, more a supporting type. Karin on the other hand, I could see, just make her the Kurosaki Rukia gives her powers too. The only thing that would change is it'd be Rukia and the tough loli girl instead of Rukia and the good-natured punk, considering all the Ichigo X Rukia vibes, imagine the yuri subtext that be there if Karin was there instead. Most everyone else did alright. Tessai of course did terrible. i really only put him on the list because his outfit in the recent manga chapters is just incredibly awesome. Chojiro also did horribly, but I really wasn't being serious about him, even if he does fascinate me for some reason due to his complete lack of significance.
Anyways, another pointless Bleach opinion question for me to eventually babble about this week. Vote if you like, just remember to review.
