499Author's note: Just in case you were wondering, this is the same story found on Mediaminer. Someone actually suggested I put it on here so I decided to do that. However, if you are reading this story for the first time, I advise not to read that one, I am changing some things for the better.
Finding Peace
Chapter 1-Easier to Run
-If I could Stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I would If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could-Linkin Park
Bulma stares at her husband as he continues to eat his dinner. Her fork plays with the green peas that roll around on her plate, eventually bouncing into some meat. Her eyes flash down to her food then return to Vegeta. Soon afterwards she places her fork down and puts her hand in her lap exhaling loudly.
That was her forth sigh through this meal, and finally Vegeta couldn't take it anymore. He slams down his fork, "Brats leave."
Sixteen-year-old Trunks felt the rising tension and quickly rises from the table, snatching his four-year-old sister.
"But I'm not done." She shreiks but Trunks lifts her up over his shoulder making her happy once again before bouncing out of the room and into the playroom.
Once the girl's giggles fades, Vegeta flashes his eyes to his mate, "What?"
"Vegeta-" Bulma cut herself off. A highly sensitive Sayian can be insulted if words aren't particularly phrased. "Vegeta, I want you to go see a psychiatrist."
He raises an eyebrow, "What the hell is that?"
Bulma pulls a chair right next to him. Her eyes, a remarkable blue, containing a seriousness Vegeta found remotely uncomfortable. "I want you to go talk to a person about your nightmares."
The seriousness deflated. "You are out of your mind."
"Vegeta, it would help. You need to talk to someone about them."
He lifts his fork, picking up a large amount of mashed potatoes, "I talk to you."
"But I can't help you."
"I do not need help."
Bulma sighs, dropping her head, her hair falling in front of her face.
Vegeta put his fork down, this conversation certainly ruining his supper.
"For years Vegeta, you have not gone one night without a flashback. I know it pains you, but maybe if you go to someone who can help you deal with your past, maybe, just maybe the memories will start to fade."
"Woman, I do not need help. They are just memories, they cause no harm."
"Yes, they do." Bulma abruptly stands, pacing the kitchen, "I sleep next to you every night, Vegeta. I see what those dreams do to you."
"I can live with it.-"
"Well, I can't!" She spins, facing him. Tears glisten in her eyes. "I can't take it anymore. Do you know how hard it is for me to watch you? Do you know how hard it is to listen to those dreams you have? I want you to get help. I can't take it anymore, Vegeta.."
Vegeta stands. "You said once that you wanted me to tell you and now you're telling me it's too much for you to handle? I don't need anyone's help, nor do I want it. You wanted to know about my memories so I told you, do not blame me that you are too weak to deal with it."
Bulma closes the gap between them, placing her palm on his cheek but he does nothing to acknowledge it. "I'm sorry I'm not strong like you, Vegeta. But you are weak too. You are not strong enough to handle those memories on your own."
"Watch me."
"Fine. Fine. But when you finally realize that it's not a weakness to admit it, I'll be here. And we'll get you the best psychiatrist in the world, one that can handle the things you've been through, and one that can help you where I can not." She kisses his lips just chastely, pulling back painfully as he refuses to react.
A psychiatrist! What the hell is wrong with her? Who does she think she is? Vegeta pants lightly as he continues to do his warm-ups for his evening training. He pushes himself from the ground on one finger, staring down at the metal tile, sweat falling from his face as he was now on his 3000 one finger push-up under 1000g's. All though his body is working on his training, his mind battles with the conversation he had just finished with his mate.
How can she ask him to go see someone-a human-that he doesn't even know, who doesn't know who he is, to talk to them about his childhood growing up under the crazy lizard, Frieza? That human will not even be able to handle a single little detail from his past then be able to deal with a whole memory. At least Bulma had some background on how bad his life was. He thought she was capable of handling it just a little bit better.
He shakes his head. He should have never mated a human. It is his fault for having a weakness for her. He should have extinguished his lust toward her as soon as it was lit. But no, he let himself take her, and stupidly get her pregnant.
If she wasn't prepared to hear about his memories then why the hell had she asked him to share!? She knows his life wasn't all smiles and laughs. And yet, she did not heed his warning. Stupid human. He is perfectly fine keeping it all to himself. He needs no one. Just like always. He doesn't her. He doesn't need his children. He just needs to be left alone.
Vegeta growls to himself as he flips himself up right and begins punching an invisible force, slightly pretending it is Kakarot before him.
Ok, let's be real. True, the nightmares are getting worse. True, it is even getting to the point where he screams a few times, falls out of bed, and even a couple times attacks the woman. But she is safe. She is in no harm. He just tried to squish her with his body. BUT he realized who it was underneath him and immediately gotten up. She was just a little shaken, nothing that his special touch couldn't cure.
Vegeta smirks.
The flashbacks are expected. They are expected to happen during his sleep and during his waking hours, and while he trains. Who could possibly just forget everything he has seen? Or everything that he has been through growing up under a total maniac? It just isn't possible.
There isn't a reason why she asked him to go to see someone. He has been controlling it for almost thirty years, and can continue the same way as he has done before.
But, he'll admit, he has some sort of escape through his mate. Bulma helps him many times by listening to him speak and then letting him forget it by drowning himself in her body. That is the only cure that would ever work. He doesn't mind it. She sure as hell doesn't mind it. And it seemed that after they've talked, her desire and need for him strengthen ten-fold, making the mating session quite a workout.
He'll entertain the fact that he, just a little, wants to talk to her after his nightmares. Not because he knows directly after they would mate, but because it seemesthat afterwards, he feels...relief. He feels free from the memory as if it were no more. And if that was true...if after every memory he talks about it, it goes away then...he'd only have...fifty more years to go till all of them are gone. He certainly has enough time but...she doesn't.
And what the hell does she mean she can't take it anymore!? She isn't the one that lived it. She isn''t the one that saw it with her own damn eyes. He simply shared with her some details, not even that descriptive and now she is saying she can't take it.
How weak. How pathetic. How human.
Chapters will become longer and more indepth, be rest assured.
