8Hi guys, welcome to Papa, Can You Hear Me? After hearing that many people were disappointed about the shortness of My Brother's Keeper, I thought about the idea of this world that I had created and decided that it had a lot of potential. Therefore, I'm going to make it into a set of small fics that all take place in the same universe based on My Brother's Keeper. These stories will tell about the history of the Lorien brothers before Lord of the Rings, but after their parents died (which is not a Tolkien thing, but part of the storyline that I have created here). There will be two or three parts to this fic. Please enjoy my work!
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises. I also do not own the song Papa, Can You Hear Me? by Charlotte Church.
Note: In this fic, I have made 50 the age that elves arrive at their majority. This makes Rumil about the equivalent of a 17 year old by human standards and Orophin around five or six by human standards, though he is rather smart for his age, even by the standards of the Eldar.
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Papa, Can You Hear Me?
By: Ponytail Goddess
Chapter 1: Alone
A great golden light swept through the main room of an adequately-sized talan, lighting up even the darkest corners with the flickering glow of candlelight. With all of the candles and oil lamps lit, the room was invitingly illuminated, the light showing through the ceiling, which was partially open, being composed of elegantly-carved wooden, leafy vines that crisscrossed and curved around the ceiling in a natural way. In between the vines were fitted panels of glass that kept the rain from entering the room, but allowed the sun and moon to shine in at other times.
This main room was far from being sparsely furnished. In the far left corner was a huge, wooden weaponry cabinet, the front carved with a delicate leaf pattern, closed and locked for safety. This was next to a large opening to the outside, which sported a large veranda for looking out into the city below. The right wall housed two doorways, one being a large hallway that led to the bedrooms, the other leading to a small kitchenette. Between these two doorways was a large painting of a garden in the moonlight, with two Eldarin lovers sitting on a bench, holding hands. Beneath this was an end table that was covered in a white, hand-woven lace doily, on top of which were a few lonely trinkets, once the treasures of the elleth who had lived in the home no more than a year ago.
However, in the center of the room was the main and most important piece of the room, the ornate table that was held up by wooden vines, spiraling up from the floor, they crawled up the bottom of the table and hung off the edges ever-so-slightly in certain areas. This was surrounded by five chairs, all sitting up on the same wooden vine design as the table. Though only three of these five chairs seated an elf, the table was still seating the most company it had seen in over a year.
Rumil sighed as he watched his two brothers finish up their dinner of vegetables in a light sauce and homemade bread. The day had went abnormally well up until this point. Haldir had actually spent time with Orophin, rather than ignoring him. This had not happened since before their adar and naneth had passed into the halls of Mandos, which made it quite a momentous occasion for all.
Orophin was certainly taking advantage of it. Having a whole year to make up for, he was chattering away to Haldir with an unmatchable fervor. Though Haldir had put up with it all morning before he went to train for his up-and-coming marchwarden test, it was quite obvious that he was growing weary from putting forth so much effort into his family, as he was not used to doing such in the past.
From what Rumil could gather from Haldir's face, he was growing quite depressed. Rumil had caught him staring at the elaborate china cabinet, where their naneth's beautiful china was gathering dust, as nobody wanted to touch it, for fear of breaking the priceless antiques within. Naneth had been the only person who touched the cabinet; she only took out the good china when…
When the whole family was there for dinner.
"Indeed," Rumil thought as he stared at his older brother, who was clearly no longer listening to Orophin's prattle, "He has yet to make peace with it…"
Honestly, Rumil had thought of this earlier in the night. It was their first real family dinner since the incident and it was tradition to get out the good china when the whole family was together, but it just had not seemed right without naneth there and he could not bring himself to open the cabinet. The unspoken rule was still there: only naneth opened the china cabinet. Without her and ada there, using the good china just seemed wrong.
"Haldir!"
Both Rumil and Haldir jumped as their youngest brother yelped for Haldir, now standing up on his chair and yanking on Haldir's sleeve to get his attention.
"Will you take me back to the garden again tomorrow? I want to dig up more worms, just like we did today!" Orophin said very loudly, clearly excited about spending more time with Haldir.
Rumil groaned at this. Already, a stack of heavily soiled clothing was strewn across the hallway, waiting to be washed. Though Rumil knew that Orophin was quite fond of insects, he had not been willing to take him into the Lady's own personal garden to dig up worms. It was too much of a mess to deal with! However, little Orophin had gotten Haldir to smile and participate in the great adventure this morning, which was highly unusual. Any smiles from Haldir were treasured greatly by his brothers, as they were few and far between.
After asking permission, Haldir had led Orophin to a large patch of dirt in the garden where nothing had been planted yet, and getting on their hands and knees, the two had burrowed deep into the dirt while Rumil watched them pulling out worms and examining them closely.
Indeed, it was a sweet memory. Though Rumil knew that Haldir had tried to hide his affection for his little brother, it had shown today when he had let the little elfling hold his hand while they tromped back to their talan, heavily caked with dirt and mud.
A small, sad smile appeared on Haldir's lips as he was clearly thinking about the adventure that they had enjoyed today. "I do not know if I can tomorrow brother, but we will go again. I promise." He said softly, patting Orophin's chair to signal him to sit back down.
"Haldir," Rumil said quietly, "If you want to go and train right now, Orophin and I can take care of the dishes."
Haldir now turned his head from the china cabinet to look at Rumil wearily, raising and eyebrow in question of the proposal. "Are you that anxious to get rid of me brother?"
"No brother, you misinterpret my words. I was simply thinking that you look like you could use a little fresh air." Rumil replied as he stood up and started to collect the dirty dishes from the table.
Haldir sighed and paused for a moment. "Perhaps you are right brother. I think I might take a small walk to clear my head." He finally replied, getting up from the table slowly, only to have two little arms latch onto his leg.
"Can I come with you, big brother?" Orophin asked with a large grin, clearly excited at the notion, as he was speaking quite quickly and loudly. "We could catch fireflies and-"
"No Orophin," Rumil said in the best authoritative voice he could muster, "It is late and Haldir needs to rest while he is home. He does not need to be running around and catching bugs when he is tired. Besides, it is nearly your bedtime, young one."
"Aww…" Orophin whined loudly as he let go of Haldir's leg, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, stomping once for good measure.
"Maybe next time Orophin…" Haldir said, smiling down at the little one and ruffling his unbraided tresses a bit before heading towards the door.
"Will you be back to tuck me in?" Orophin asked, tagging along with Haldir as he walked to the door, clutching his brother's left hand with both of his as he looked up at Haldir with soulful eyes.
Rumil could tell that the smile he gave Orophin was forced, but it was there nonetheless. "I will try, my brother. Until I get back, behave for Rumil." He said, bending down to kiss the top of the little elfling's forehead.
"Bye!" Orophin cried out as he watched Haldir descend down the stairs from the open doorway, waving like crazy, though Haldir did not turn around to see it.
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May the light,
Illuminate the night,
The way your spirit illuminates my soul.
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Haldir breathed a sigh of relief once he was out of Orophin's sight. The young one had been smothering him and Haldir could hardly take it any longer. The little elfling was very clingy, which was something that Haldir was not used to dealing with. He did not mind his company, he really did not, but the little one had to constantly be touching him! Haldir did not know how to handle this, as he usually liked to have his own personal space. Though Haldir was slightly annoyed with Orophin, he was even gladder to be out of the talan for another reason.
The family dinner.
It just was not the same, not without ada and naneth. Being at the table with his brothers had roused memories that he had been blocking out, memories of his parents that pained him so. Up until now, this method had been working, but spending time with his brothers had brought the pain back as if it were new.
"Maegkheled," naneth said, addressing ada with a smile and a bit of mischief in her voice, "You look weary and hot…perhaps you should cool off a bit before dinner is ready." She stated, walking into the dining room from the kitchen, placing a salad on the table for their family dinner before approaching ada, who was bent over a book and a few written reports with a very serious and concentrated and look on his face.
When he did not look up at her, Teluial smiled a bit more and up behind his chair, her hands immediately resting on his shoulders. When she started to massage him, he finally looked up. "My love," she said softly, then leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You are working too hard again."
Knowing that she would not let him work any longer in his present state, he sighed and leaned back in his chair, one hand rubbing at his eyes wearily. "Hmm…perhaps you are right…" He muttered, still not all the way out of his working mode.
"I know I am right…" She said, bending over and kissing the top of his head softly.
He looked up and over his shoulder, a fatigued smile on his face. "Is there time for me to go and have a cool bath before dinner is ready?" He asked, turning towards her and putting his hands on her waist playfully.
"Oh, most certainly!" She said with a wink, then quickly grabbed a nearby water pitcher and poured it over his head! Ada could only stand there in shock, sputtering, after the water had soaked through his clothes and into his hair.
The pair stood there staring at each other in mock silence for a few moments, Maegkheled blinking as droplets of water rolled down his face. Suddenly, Teluial laughed a bit as Maegkheled gave her an ornery grin before bolting up out of his chair and chasing her out of the talan, both laughing crazily as they banged down the stairs.
"You play with fire Teluial!" Haldir heard his father cry out as he walked out onto the landing to watch their crazy game below.
"I am certain that I just extinguished that fire—EEP!" His mother yelped, as his father enveloped her in a soggy hug, which was followed by a deep kiss.
"EEEEEWWWW!"
Haldir turned around to see his 16-year old brother Rumil, staring at the scene as well, thoroughly disgusted with his parents and covering his eyes with hands. "THAT'S GROSS!"
Smiling, Haldir uncrossed his arms and reached down to ruffle the little guy's hair. "You may think that now Rumil, but one day you will want to kiss ellyth too."
"EWW! I WILL NOT!" He cried out, then ran back into the flet as Haldir chuckled at his brother's antics.
Coming back to reality, Haldir sighed heavily as the pain of loss hit him again. He stopped walking and rubbed one his hands over his face, trying to get a hold of himself before he entered the training field. "Forget it…" He thought to himself, "Let it go. You cannot train like this and you really do need to work on your long knives…"
Being one of the candidates for the newly open March Warden position was really putting a lot of pressure on Haldir. There were many things he needed to improve on if he was to pass the tests.
Pushing everything else out of his mind, Haldir entered into the training area as calmly as he could. It was time to practice.
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Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa, can you find me in the night?
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Back in the warmly lit talan, two figures, one large and one small, sat on their knees around a large wooden bucket full of steaming water between them. Rumil watched as Orophin carefully tried to clean off a silvery plate, swirling the white dishrag around on it very slowly.
Though Rumil could have had that plate done a few minutes ago, Orophin had been eager to do something other than dry the dishes, so Rumil had decided to let him try. The little elfling seemed to be struggling with the task though and was unable to get some of the stuck on food off of the plate. Calmly, Rumil reached over with another dishrag and started helping him, only to have the plate yanked away from him.
"Stop it! I want to do it!" Orophin cried out, rather upset that his brother would not let him do it himself. Clearly irritated, he pushed the dish all the way under the water and scrubbed as hard as his little arms would allow.
"Brother, it is late…" Rumil said sternly, being equally annoyed with Orophin at this point. "Hurry up and finish. It is past your bedtime."
"It is not! Besides, Haldir is not back yet! He said he would tuck me in!" Orophin declared loudly.
"He said he would tuck you in IF he was back in time. I do not think he will be able to oblige you tonight. Now give me the plate!" Rumil commanded sternly, grabbing the plate, despite the fact that Orophin had not let go of it. The two had a small struggle which resulted in the plate being flung across the room and hitting their mother's painting of the two Eldarin lovers in the garden, which fell from the wall. The painting burst free from its frame, which cracked immediately upon contact with the floor.
Both brothers stared at the broken frame in shock, silently analyzing the damage. Finally, Rumil stood up and glared down at Orophin, who met his eyes with a guilty look. "Brother, I'm sor-"
"Go to bed. Now." Rumil said in an eerily soft and calm voice. He closed his eyes when and tried to stay calm. When he opened them, Orophin was gone, though he could hear soft sobbing coming from his room.
Knowing that he was just as much the cause of this as Orophin was, Rumil shook his head in defeat as he walked over to the wall and looked down at the painting in the smashed frame.
Haldir was going to be very upset.
Carefully, Rumil squatted down and removed the broken frame from the priceless painting. Luckily, the painting was unscathed. However, the frame was no longer useable. Picking up the beautifully-carved wooden shards, Rumil walked into the kitchen and put them beside the woodstove to be used as fuel. Slowly, he walked back into the front room to try and figure out what to do with the painting.
He sighed as he stared at the two lovers in the garden, frameless, lying against the wall. This painting was their mother's pride and joy—light pastel colors swirling around to create the moonlit sky with lush greenery in the garden below, scattered with the brightest flowers, all painted to perfection.
Rumil did not know what to do. Haldir was definitely going to find out about this and he would not be happy. Deciding that his fate would be the same no matter what he did with the painting, Rumil set it gently upon the clean kitchen table and then headed out the door and started up the stairs to the stargazing platform, his absolute favorite place to be at night.
As Rumil settled himself down into a comfortable position on his back, he frowned as Orophin's small sobs caught his ears again. This made Rumil feel terrible; he had not meant to be so harsh with the little elfling. He was not even angry at him any more—Rumil could not stay mad at anyone for very long. It simply was not part of his easy-going nature.
"I will have to talk to him about this in the morning." Rumil thought as he stared up into the familiar night sky. Finally the sobs faded away and turned into rhythmic breathing, signifying that his brother was finally asleep.
Stretching his legs and arms out as far as they would go as he yawned, Rumil then bent his elbows and brought his hands behind his head, laying with one of his knees bent up toward the sky. Quickly he glanced at the stairs to make sure that nobody was coming, then, deciding it was safe, started to pass the night as he always did.
"Ada," he whispered, staring into the heavens above, the bright stars glistening down on him from the dark, unending abyss above him. "I miss you. I hope I am not making a fool out of myself, talking to you like this, but I like to imagine that you can hear me, wherever you are…Mandos' Halls still, I presume-"
Rumil immediately stopped and jerked his head towards the stairway, as he thought he had heard something. He did not want to be caught talking to himself—that would simply be too embarrassing. However, he saw that it was only a small grey squirrel, climbing back up to its home in the mallorn tree. Quickly, he brought his focus back up to the sky.
"Ada," He whispered again, as to not draw attention to himself, "Haldir has finally returned to us. He is still very upset about your death though and nana's as well. He does still love us though, which is something…anything is better than nothing, especially as far as Orophin is concerned. That elfling needs all of the love and coddling he can get, which seems to be more than I myself can give to him alone. I just hope Haldir does not let Orophin down, as he is his role model. I do not think Haldir understands how much Orophin looks up to him. Then again, maybe he does…one never knows what Haldir is thinking."
Rumil sighed and closed his eyes, picturing his father in his head to the best of his ability. Maegkheled was so tall, so handsome, strong, and proud—just like Haldir, but nothing like himself. "Ada, why am I not like you? I am such a dreamer and I feel like I do not meet your expectations, just as I do not meet Haldir's. I know that I will join the guard and be a good enough warden, but I will never be at Haldir's level. He is so highly motivated, persevering through thick and thin. I cannot do that. I am not that strong. Not when I am alone." He murmured, opening his eyes with the hopes of seeing his father sitting beside him, there to console and reassure him as he always had…but Rumil had no such luck.
He was still alone.
After checking to make sure that he was alone again, he rolled onto his stomach and chanced a quick glance into the room of his dream elleth. Indeed, she was there, sleeping in all of her glory, the white satin sheet barely covering her delicious curves from Rumil's prying eyes. After seeing that she was there, Rumil promptly rolled back into his prior position, taking in a slow and deep breath with the hopes of relieving some of his pent-up sexual tension. Though it took more than one breath, when Rumil turned his thoughts elsewhere, the tension receeded, as it always did. Staring at the stars again thoughtfully, only one thing seemed to come to Rumil's mind.
"Ada…am I destined to always be alone?"
Little did Rumil know, he was rarely ever alone when he was on the stargazing platform.
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Papa, are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?
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With a small flicker of his eyelids, Orophin suddenly found himself quite awake in the middle of the night. He had been startled by an odd dream; it had not been a particularly scary dream, but it had been rather off-putting. Orophin had dreamt that his brother Rumil was made up of his colorful wooden building blocks. Haldir had touched "building-block Rumil" in the dream and Rumil had fallen to pieces. Orophin certainly knew that he brother was not made up of colorful blocks and could not be broken as such, but it had been enough to make him wake up, awe-struck by such a dream.
Sitting up, Orophin wondered if Haldir had finally come back home. Orophin knew that it must be late, as he could hear Rumil lightly snoring outside from the stargazing platform, which he seemed to fall asleep on quite often. Silently, so that he would not wake Rumil, Orophin slid off of his bed and slowly trekked out of his room, opening the door slowly so that the old hinges would not moan.
Orophin was home-free once he closed the door silently to his own room. His excellent elf eyes prevented him from running into the furniture of the front room, despite the fact that it was almost pitch black in there, as the moonlight was blocked from entering many of the windows by the highest branches of the mallorn tree that their talan was situated in. Shadows moved throughout the room as the branches outside blew with the breezes, but Orophin was quite used to this and was not alarmed, determined to make sure that his brother had made it home safely.
Without making a sound, Orophin grabbed Haldir's door knob and turned it, holding his breath so that he would not wake his ever-alert brother. Quickly, Orophin peeked into the darkened room and frowned when he saw that his brother's bed was empty and looked untouched.
"Where is Haldir? Why did he not come back home?" Orophin thought to himself, his little eyebrows furrowed at this puzzling predicament. It was the middle of the night! Surely Haldir did not need to practice this long…
...unless…
"Oh no!" Orophin thought to himself, "He must have seen the painting I broke, got mad, and left!"
A small tear streaked down Orophin's cheek as he stood in his brother's doorway feeling quite guilty of his actions. "I did not mean to do it," he thought, "It was an accident! Now he will go back to being mean again and it is all my fault!"
After thinking that, Orophin leaned his back up against Haldir's doorframe and cried, slowly sliding down it until he ended up sitting on the floor in a very scrunched up position. He sat there for a while, his mind blank as small tears ran down his cheeks at differing speeds. Even now, he remembered to be silent, as Orophin was quite certain that waking up Rumil and explaining the situation would just make him angry too.
Soon, a small time had passed and Orophin managed to get a hold of himself, wiping the tears off of his nose and chin, then tasting the salty liquid when he put his pointer finger in his mouth as he often did when he was upset about something. It was at this particular moment that an incredible idea hit Orophin.
"Wait…that one time when Haldir was angry, he said that elves should not sit and cry about things, but should do something to fix their problem instead… I know! I will go find Haldir and apologize! Then he will forgive me, come home, and tuck me in!" Orophin thought, getting to his feet abruptly; he perked up tremendously after having this new, albeit rather impractical idea.
Quickly, Orophin scampered over to the hall and pulled his heavily soiled boots out of the muddy clothes pile from earlier and pulled them on. He did his best to tie them on his own, but one ended up rather loose, while the other sported a large knot instead of the typical bow. Orophin ignored this though, as the only thought in his head was to bring his brother back home before Rumil found out and got mad again.
Tracking dried mud clumps all across the front room, Orophin silently turned the doorknob and pushed the door open with ease, pausing in the doorway for a moment while staring out into the eerily lit woods beneath him. Rumil had always told Orophin never to enter the woods alone, especially not at night. The more Orophin thought about it, he remembered Haldir warning him about this as well, though it was before their parents had died and their world had turned upside-down, of course.
But Haldir was out there and angry with him. Orophin had missed Haldir's presence in his life greatly over the past year and did not want to lose his brotherly love for another long period of time just because of breaking naneth's painting. He had to do it. He had to be brave and go out by himself. He had to apologize to Haldir and make everything go back to normal again. Going out after dark surely would not be that bad anyway. After all, Orophin had been to the warden's training area once or twice…he would be able to find it easily enough.
With a small boost of courage, Orophin stepped out the door, pushing it closed behind him as he started to walk down the stairs. Unbeknownst to Orophin, the door did not close, as he did not push it hard enough behind him. The metal latch started to click, but then came loose, leaving the door open and swaying lightly in the breeze.
Walking slowly, Orophin was in the most alert state that he had ever been in his life. He heard every little noise as he walked down the dimly lighted stairs slowly. A few of the older wooden stairs creaked a little bit, which scared Orophin at first before he remembered that they always did that. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he stared off into the forest path, which was dimly lit with a blue-tinted light. After pausing for a moment, Orophin started to take a few small and shaky steps into the great forest…
…alone.
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So, what did you think? Please tell me if I've contradicted myself somewhere between the two stories. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed it. Hopefully I'll be able to manage a decently quick update once I get out of school in one and a half weeks. Until then, wish me luck!
-P.G.
