6Disclaimer: I don't own Eva, cuz if I did I'd be dead right now. So don't complain.
By the way, thanks to all my readers of my Stuff that Eva Chara will Never Say thing; the reviews, they were great, I'm gonna write more soon cuz you all apparently liked 'em. Lala...::is a shameless advertiser:: Go to mesite cuz it's kewl XD;;;;;; .com
-
She Wasn't Supposed to Think
By Hino
-
There he was, stumbling along as usual. Shinji, the class loser. The boy could barely stand up with out falling right back down. That was Shinji for ya in a nutshell - a kid who could never get his footing. Poor child, Rei thought; he doesn't have a chance in the world. Sure, a man could make any situation a living heaven if he wanted to, but Shinji didn't want to. He'd rather sit and rot than make an effort to be happy. Sure, he *wanted* to be happy, Rei knew, but he was too afraid to let himself admit it. The boy was a liar in practically every way - even to himself. And, man cannot survive if he doesn't even let the truth be told to himself.
Rei sighed, removed herself from her window where she'd been watching Shinji walk home, and retired to her bed. It was only four PM, but she was already tired. It's strange - her life was such an empty void, and yet, something had been able to wear her out by only four in the afternoon. After all, what was there in life? For that matter, what *was* her life? /Life is simply the instrumentality between me and others...so, myself and Ikari-kun.../ here she paused. /Yes, Ikari-kun. But there are others in my life - Commander Ikari...Major Katsuragi...the Second.../ again, she paused. /There are others in my life, but it's not the people who decide my life, it's the instrumentality between us/
All her life, Rei wondered what exactly the hell was going on - literally. But, since she was raised to be a doll, she acted like a doll, and did her best to just keep her mouth shut and follow orders. /Instrumentality determines my life, but I do not have anyone that I've communicated with...I never communicate with anyone, if I don't have to, even the Commander/
Rei stood up and went back to stand by the window. /Lack of instrumentality leaves me with a plain of nothingness, a void so empty that I should, realistically, not even exist/
Shinji was a soul who did not want to communicate with others - at all. More than anything he was afraid of what they would say, so he kept to himself as much as he could. /Ikari-kun is like me, in that way,/ Rei thought. /He lacks instrumentality, and feels that he serves no purpose./
But the similarities between Shinji and Rei did not stop there, she knew. /Shinji serves a purpose. It's just that, like mine, it is/ she stopped to think of an appropriate phrase, /very shitty./ Rei face-faulted at her own words, but then realized how incredibly true they were. /My reason to live isn't something that even makes me happy...is that why I'm always crying?/
Yes.
Rei picked up Gendou's shattered glasses and held them in front of her eyes. /If my reason to live is worthless.../ as she began to crush the glasses further, glinting shards fell to her feet, /... then why do I continue to live?/
A swift slash of glass against skin left the poor girl at rest, though, to what extent, no one else would ever know.
-
Love it? Hate it? Wanna be an immature little moron and flame me for killing Rei? Go ahead! dotty675
