Call Me Selfish

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto. If I did own Naruto I wouldn't have to write annoying disclaimers- now would I?

In honor of the great end of fillers and beginning of Naruto Shippuden, I shall update! It will just take me awhile to get over writer's block.

LAST TIME ON CALL ME SELFISH
"How is Naruto-kun?"
"I am not at privilege to release anymore information on Uzumaki's condition at this time. I hope you'll understand…"
"If you wanted to see Naruto-kun, all you had to do was ask."
It was evident that the Kyuubi was no longer in control.
"Do you know who I am?"
"But I don't know your name," replied Naruto softly.
"…What exactly happened to me?"
He wondered if they dodged the question on purpose.
"Naruto… has amnesia?"
"Please. Watch over my student?"
"You understand, don't you? I can't see him like this."
"You're crying, Sakura-chan."
"Goodbye dobe."
"You really can't remember, can you?"
"The seal is weakening."

Chapter Seven: Familiar Resemblances

"I'm not afraid of tomorrow
I'm only scared of myself." –SR-71

It was late. Most of the ninjas had taken leave. Tsunade wanted to follow but there was someone who had been trying to catch her eye all night. She tried to avoid him still as she took leave of the room. Her brain felt sluggish. She was exhausted and in great need of painkillers. Tsunade could think of no clever response when Iruka had caught her at last.

"My apologies," he had said, blocking the door. Tsunade doubted his sincerity. "I just um… I just need to know. How did this happen to Naruto-kun?"

"How does anything happen?" replied the half conscious Hokage.

She made way to leave again but Iruka still blocked her path. Shizune stepped forth to remove him as an obstacle but was stopped by Tsunade's quick hand. She sighed and shook her head lightly.

"We were careless."

Tsunade then fixed him with such a piercing stare that Iruka had a hard time meeting it.

"Is that perhaps the answer you were looking for? Naruto is this way because we were foolish, ignorant- and we let this happen without knowing. If you really wish, I can take full responsibility for every bruise and broken bone."

"Please. You must tell me. What all is wrong with Naruto-kun?"

"I already said so in the meeting. Weren't you paying attention?"

"Aptly. But you were leaving things out… You must have been," Iruka was staring into her so intensely. "The fox came out again. Naruto-kun didn't just get away with some minor broken bones. The way you described it- it seemed- seemed much more, so much more. Something bad happened to Naruto… didn't it?"

Tsunade bit her tongue. It had to be said. Iruka needed to know it and the sooner it was known the better. But she still couldn't bear to speak. Shizune looked as if she were ready to intervene.

"Is he sick? Blind? Did he lose a limb?" said Iruka urgently. "You must tell me. My imagination is so cruel. I need to know what happened to Naruto, please."

Tsunade sucked on her front teeth before cautiously lowering her voice. She drew closer to Iruka so that unwanted ears would not hear.

"Naruto's memory is not stable right now. My approximations are that he's currently holding onto most of his early childhood memories. Give or take some," explained Tsunade. "I haven't had time to really even brief him on his own condition…"

"So he has amnesia…"

Something seemed to sink inside Iruka. Relief only temporarily captured his features. Naruto wasn't disfigured or handicapped. He wasn't suffering from some unknown illness with his chances of living hanging on the capabilities of machines and tubes. It was only amnesia. But of course that way of thinking was far too brief.

"Is that all that's wrong with him?"

"Is that all? Don't you think that's enough?!" Shizune snapped. It took only a swift glare from Tsunade to shut her up again.

"He broke his wrist and a few of his ribs. But yes, that's basically it."

"How extensive?"

"He appears to have…um some memory gaps in his… current events."

"How current?"

"The last… two or three years."

"Two or three years! That- That's…"

"Yes. Most of his ninja career thus far. I know."

"The most important years of his life," said Iruka. Tsunade had nothing to say to that. Instead she teased the bandages on her arm. Pain was always a good distraction.

"Does he remember me?"

Tsunade swallowed hard. "I don't know."

Iruka didn't seem too daunted by her response. Instead determination swelled up inside him. "I want to see him."

Tsunade's eyes trailed up to the clock on the wall. Both clock hands were stretched up to the ceiling.

"Perhaps tomorrow. It's late."

Iruka tried to say something but Tsunade interceded again. "Think of Naruto," she said. "He's been through a lot today. He might remember you, he might not. But if he doesn't do you think he'll really appreciate his school teacher coming in to wake him up this la- early in the morning?"

Iruka half smiled. "You're right. I'll wait until the morning is later."

At last, the man removed himself from the doorframe. He let both the Hokage and her associate leave at last.

"Thank you, Iruka," said Tsunade as she passed.

"Thank you, Lady Tsunade."

Tsunade froze. Iruka was behind the Hokage so he couldn't see the guilty expression on her face.

"I'm sorry for... um being so harsh with you. But you must understand… how much he means- um… how important he is… to me. If… it weren't for you, I'm sure Naruto-kun… well… I'm grateful to you. In a way, you've saved him and me both."

He gave a little chuckle to himself and ducked out of sight at last. There was only silence at his exit. Both women didn't move- didn't speak. Shizune only politely watched the tear roll down her teacher's cheek.

It was five till one, and she was supposed to have gone to sleep. That's what she told Shizune she was doing. She had been lying, of course. But Shizune knew better than to question higher authority. Tsunade hadn't been able to stop thinking about Naruto all day. After all, his condition was partially her fault.

The room was dark when she entered. She didn't want to flick on the lights in case Naruto was sleeping. As quietly as she could, Tsunade slid the door shut behind her. She secretly hoped she wouldn't scare him and held her breath as she moved forward. In two strides she was across the length of the room. Moonlight played from the open window and splashed itself across the unkempt bed. The bedspread lay in a messy puddle of cloth on the floor. Naruto was in neither the bed nor the bedspread.

A light wind pressed against Tsunade's face and brushed her fine light colored bangs across her face. The window was open. In a panic induced moment, Tsunade was sure Naruto had been kidnapped.

But then the rational part of her mind came back. The painkillers had managed to make her rather too jittery. She felt like a bobble head with all the nervous jumping she kept doing this evening.

There was no sign of a struggle. She was confident that Naruto could not possibly be desensitized enough for him to allow someone to sneak up on him. Even if they had managed to catch Naruto off guard and chloroformed him, it was rare there wouldn't be some sort of struggle. Surely Naruto would wake up at least momentarily to the sudden pressure against his face. He certainly would have thrashed about quite a bit before the sweet intoxication overtook him.

Tsunade moved quickly to the window and looked frantically out it. First she glanced downward, preparing herself to see Naruto's body sprawled up on one of the awnings, or through them and crushed on the ground below. But she saw nothing. The moon was fairly bright. She was easily able to tell that if Naruto had jumped, he hadn't fallen. At least not here.

She looked up. There were few handholds, but the pipes might have held Naruto's weight should he have chosen to climb up them.

Tsunade made to follow. She winced when she pressed herself up onto the windowsill with her good hand. The window was rather small, and she couldn't quite trust her arm the way it was. She had to go a different way.

Tsunade drew back and rushed back out of Naruto's room. She slid the door shut behind her again as she left. No need to sound the alarm if Naruto really were safe. But if he was, she might very well wring his neck.

She rushed to the stairwell and climbed up them two at a time. It wasn't long before she was on the roof. She pushed open the door with haste and looked out. He wasn't there. Panic surged its course again, she had to fight it back furiously.

No one knew of Naruto's condition yet. Why would anyone go to the lengths to kidnap him? To what purpose? Could the Akatsuki seriously have undertaken such a risky expense to kidnap Naruto while he was still within the Leaf boarders? They had always seemed so careful before. This would seem almost slapdash- and to think that it could have very well worked without a hitch.

Tsunade could see the former Hokage's faces glaring down at her from here, including her own. It then started to dawn on her- where Naruto might be. She walked slowly to the opposite end and looked down. And there, sitting on the very outcrop, the roof of one of the hospital's bay windows, sat none other than Naruto himself. He looked forlorn and troubled, staring at the faces each in turn.

Naruto seemed to sense her watching him yet again. He looked up and said, "You were right."

Tsunade stared back. "What do you mean?"

He nodded, indicating the fifth face on the end. It was her own face.

"You are the fifth."

Tsunade smiled lightly. She rested her chin in her palm and her elbows propped against the small roof wall.

"Did you think I was lying?"

"I didn't know what to think," responded Naruto honestly. "The last thing I remember is old Sarutobi being Hokage. But my memory seems to be filled with a lot of holes."

His tone seemed to indicate that he knew more about his condition than he let on. Tsunade guess that Sakura must have told him.

"I'm sorry. I should have let you known a bit more. I just didn't want to overwhelm you." Tsunade sighed deeply. "I suppose letting those two visit was a bad move."

"No, it's alright."

His tone startled Tsunade. He wasn't accusatory like his usual self. He was relenting, quiet, almost unassuming in that way. She half wondered if his condition had mellowed him but then she realized it. Without his memories, Naruto wasn't Naruto. This person sitting there before her was only half a person. The rest of him was lost somewhere else, locked away inside his head, because of her.

Tsunade climbed her way over the wall and landed gently at Naruto's side. They sat side-by-side staring up at the looming faces before them.

"It's alright," continued Naruto. "I'm glad there are people who were concerned about me. It makes me feel better actually, even though Sakura-chan cried a lot... Even if I can't quite remember them, it's good to wake up finding yourself missed. It was pleasant… surprising but in a good way."

Tsunade let the silence hang after he finished. She wasn't eager to ask her next question despite how desperately it clung to her tongue.

"How much do you remember, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto didn't answer right away. He appeared to be thinking. "I'm not sure. I mean, how can you truly know what your missing if you can't remember it not being there? The best way I can describe it is being patchy. I feel as if I'm only twelve but obviously I'm not." He paused. "I have pieces from what feels like all over. I remember two giant statues and this waterfall. And I remember falling over and over into hot springs. And snow on a bridge- with needles sticking into me. And bells. And there are things about my past too. I think I lived alone but there are times I felt as though I wasn't."

This part of Naruto's speech intrigued Tsunade more than any of the rest. She hadn't any real knowledge of Naruto's past. She had known he lived alone through the majority of his childhood, but certainly he had to have been cared for by someone before this. Certainly they hadn't thrown a four year old into a dank apartment and expected him to pay rent.

"Who was it that you remember, Naruto-kun? Do you recognize them?"

"Him," Naruto said pointing upwards.

Tsunade's heart hammered. For a second she thought he had pointed to the Fourth's face.

"Old man Sarutobi. I remember him buying me pastries, taking me for walks around the parks, and he'd give me a little bit of pocket change every time he came to visit. It's funny… I never went outside without him. I don't remember why."

She knew why. Tsunade had found several reports of victimization in Naruto's early childhood. One of the most severe was when he had been beaten to nearly an inch of life. He was only three years old.

At five he had been kidnapped off the street, tied to a stake just on the city limits. The crowd had soaked him in kerosene and was planning to light him on fire. It took several ninjas, most of them Jounin, to break the mob up and save Naruto. Six townspeople and one ninja died.

Less than six months later, the stunt was tried again. It was just some punk teenager who lost some siblings to the fox demon. Naruto managed to bite the poor novice kidnapper's ring and pinkie finger off. He and the kidnapper were tried and Naruto's actions were just barely written off as self-defense. It took a long time for the court to be convinced of Naruto's humanity. Many wanted him caged, like some sort of dog. Others wanted him put to sleep for attacking people.

The next few years of his life were littered with assassination attempts that he hardly ever knew about- having being stopped long before execution. The violence didn't die down until Naruto was seven years old when he entered the academy.

Tsunade was glad Naruto couldn't seem to remember why he was afraid of leaving the house without the Third by his side. She hoped he never remembered.

"Obaachan," Naruto said slowly as if unsure that he wanted an answer. "What happened to old man Sarutobi?"

"He died. There was a battle and he… didn't make it back. At least that's what I understand. I wasn't here at the time."

"I see," Naruto closed his eyes. "I don't remember… was I there?"

"No. No, I don't think so. You were off fighting too. I don't recall who found the Third."

"I was?" said Naruto surprised. "Fighting, really? Me?"

"Fighting really."

"Wow. Was I any good? Who did I fight? Lots of really strong ninja? Was I spectacular?" He was looking up at her, his blue eyes shining expectantly. For a moment or two, she could see the old Naruto shining back. He was still there, somewhere.

"I wasn't there, Naruto-kun. I'm not sure."

And then he was gone again. Naruto's eyes went dull once more.

"Oh," He said without any enthusiasm. "I kind of hoped I would be good. But I don't remember ever being good. I can seem to only remember my mistakes."

He looked curiously around at the fifth and said, "What kind of ninja was I?"

"A very good one," said Tsunade honestly.

Naruto made a face. "You don't have to flatter me just because I don't remember. I can take the truth."

"You were Konoha's number one loud-mouth knuckle-brained ninja," said Tsunade with a smile. "But you were also the most surprising, most promising… and most amusing one to watch."

She made Naruto smile at that. He didn't seem thoroughly convinced. Tsunade realized she probably would have never said such things to Naruto if his memory were still in tact. But she felt urgently as if it were her job to remind him of how great he actually was. If she inflated his ego, then it would only be a small price to pay just to see him smiling again. Tsunade felt that his smile would be in short supply for quite a while.

"I don't suppose I'm anywhere near becoming Hokage yet? Runner up at all?"

"Not quite," smiled Tsunade. "But someday."

He laughed. It was a sweet sound. It was almost like his old laugh. This new one sounded hollow and weaker- less confident.

"Naruto-kun," she asked. "How did you manage to get up here?"

"I climbed."

"But you could have seriously hurt yourself," reprimanded Tsunade.

"Oh my wrist doesn't hurt so bad anymore," said Naruto. "I only just banged my head on a low hanging gutter."

This didn't comfort Tsunade. She quickly moved to check his forehead. She only just moved his bangs to see the bruise when Naruto quickly recoiled. There was a flash of fear in his eyes.

"I won't hurt you, Naruto-kun."

"It's fine," said Naruto at length. His eyes were still suspicious. "I just… don't want anyone to touch my head. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," answered Tsunade tentatively but inside her guilt swirled. "It's understandable."

"Thanks." He rubbed his eyes lazily and then stood up. "I came up here when I couldn't sleep. But now I'm sleepy. So I guess I'd better go back in."

"Take the stairs please."

Naruto smiled. "Sorry. I'll try not to forget."

He hoisted himself up the wall with surprising agility for someone with recently broken ribs and wrist. Had they already healed into place? And before she could contemplate it any longer, Naruto was gone.

"Well Sarutobi-sensei," said Tsunade to no one. "I've certainly made a mess of him haven't I?"

She forced herself to look her teacher in the face. But he didn't look the same in stone. Tsunade had to admit she didn't look quite so good in stone either. Only the fourth really seemed to make the whole immortal stone bit impressive. He really should have been the whole attraction.

"It's strange. Without his attitude, loud shrieking, bold and clumsy actions- he acts a lot like…" she paused and shook her head. "Sometimes I wonder how much Naruto really inherited from you, Yondaime-sama."

The stone face said nothing back. Tsunade smiled. She pulled herself back onto the hospital roof with her one good hand.

"It would be a hellva lot easier to take care of your successor if you didn't place that damnable fox inside him."

And in the low moonlight, she could have sworn it looked as if, for the first time, the former Hokages were smiling at her.

To Be Continued…

Please R & R!

I'm exhausted so I shall keep this as brief as I can. This chapter was mostly just a talking chapter, which was why it was so hard to write. Hopefully the next chapters will be more eventful. Naruto will have to start training again, something that is always fun to look forward to.

So yeah thanks to all who kindly reviewed last chapter. That would be DarkRavie, Pink Pagoda, Daughter of Ashes,Marz1, Arxilla Uchiha, toastnchips, The big M, The Violent Tomboy, KunoichiRena, loaned, Kitsune Foxfire, Anime ADHD, DaisyAnimeluvr, AnimeKage, Sillvog, Itallia, isthisparadise, sunny-rain, and XOXGracieXOX. 19 reviews last chapter and I'm hoping those patient people come back. But beggars can't be choosers.

Stayed tuned, I guess. It may take me awhile but I am slowly and surely working on my fan fictions.

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