22Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own soul, and even that is debatable.
Notes: This is just a silly little fic I did in about half an hour. Pure fluff. It was inspired by the episode "Pop's Girlfriend", where Virgil bails out of the talent show on Richie because he gets grounded, and Richie actually says that he will be doing Destiny's Child karaoke for the talent show with Daisy and Frieda. Come on, people. Am I just supposed to let that one go?
Warnings: Booty shaking and slight cross dressing!
Bootylicious
Richie was doing the talent show with Daisy and Frieda.
No, No.
Richie was doing the talent show with Daisy and Frieda.
As Destiny's Child.
Virgil had to hold back a bark of laughter. Now that was a sight to see.
He was almost thankful that his pops had grounded him if it allowed him to see Richie in that position. He could picture the blonde now, dressed from head to toe in a monstrosity that Daisy and Frieda called "style", belting his heart out to "Say My Name." It was enough to cause the chuckle he was holding back to escape.
Not that Richie didn't have a good voice. Virgil wouldn't have teamed up with Richie in the first place for the talent show had Richie been tone deaf. Just… the image of Richie trilling and shaking his hips to Beyoncé's part could probably send even Batman into hysterics.
"Speaking of Rich…" Virgil grinned as he saw his friend get pulled into the chorus room by Daisy up ahead. Jumping into the nearest empty classroom, Virgil tinkered with the surrounding electrical currents and tried to catch what was happening on the other side of the wall. When nothing but static came through, he frowned, deciding on the old fashioned way of spying. Creeping up to the chorus room door, Virgil peeked in.
"Okay, we know we already taught you the choreography and harmony to Bootylicious," Frieda was saying to Richie as he sat sloppily on several chairs at once. Virgil held back a snort at the song mentioned. "But Daisy just had a super mondo idea!"
"Oh my God!" Richie cried with false enthusiasm, raising his voice's pitch to match Frieda's, "Really? Ohmigah!"
"Very funny," Daisy retorted as she came up behind the blonde, smacking him in the back of the head. Richie grinned guiltily and positioned himself so that he was straddling the back of one of the chairs he had been using.
"So, pray tell. What is this 'super mondo' idea of yours, fair lady?"
Daisy rolled her eyes good-naturedly and pulled out a stack of sheet music along with a cassette tape from her backpack.
"Damn, girl," Richie commented offhandedly, reaching for the tape. He turned it over and examined the object for a moment. "It's the twenty-first century. Ever heard of CDs?"
"Oh hush, boy. You're even more ghetto than me."
"That's only 'cause my ass is ten times more Bootylicious."
"Oooh, and Richie dives in with a cheap pun," Frieda laughed, sticking her tongue out at her friends. Richie merely chortled while Daisy 'accidentally' elbowed him in the side.
"Hey, hey. Let's not harm Beyoncé."
"Pfft. Boy, please," Daisy scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulders. "I am Beyoncé."
"Well then, Beyoncé. Please inform me of this superior plot you have."
Grinning, Daisy bit her lip in a nervous gesture and laid down her sheet music on top of the piano. Richie cocked his head to the side and got up from his seat, making his way over to the girls. As he grabbed the front page from the piano, he held it in his hands and read the title out loud.
"Brown…Eyes?"
"Yes!" Frieda nearly toppled over with excitement. "It's a love confession!"
"Frieda!"
"A…what?" Richie's eyes widened to a size Virgil had never seen before and Virgil was sure his own expression was mirroring that of Richie's. Daisy blushed and couldn't help a soft giggle.
"For…you know…"
Richie looked down at the music for a long moment, then up at Daisy, and Virgil could practically see the wheels turning in his friend's head as he put two and two together.
"Oh."
Virgil felt himself turn pink at the prospect.
Yeah. Oh.
O:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:O
Virgil didn't see the bad, quite honestly. In fact, all he saw was good. Apparently, though, Richie saw the bad. And bad it was.
Virgil would have been quite content with secretly watching Daisy practice serenading him with a Destiny's Child love song, had it not been for the irritating fact of his best friend sitting moodily in the corner, torn between looking bored and nauseated.
So, apparently, there was bad.
So much bad, in fact, that Richie hadn't even allowed one second to pass by after Daisy and Frieda had finished singing, before strongly insinuating that "Brown Eyes" was out and "Bootylicious" was in.
And that was what had brought Virgil back to the chorus room the afternoon before the talent show, determined to confront Richie about his attitude and ask what exactly was up with it. The sound of the blonde muttering from inside 'caused him to slow his pace however, and stop beside the door, peeking in. His eyes widened at the sight that stood before him.
Dressed in a tight black tank top that stopped just short of his midriff and equally tight black pleather pants that began far lower than any pants had a right to, posed Richie in front of the chorus room mirror.
Not trusting his voice to speak, Virgil tuned in to Richie's electrical frequency to magnify his friend's mumbles in his ear.
"They actually want me to wear this…the hell? Is this some kind of payback for not wanting to sing a sappy love song?" Richie groaned and picked up something long and blonde from the floor. Virgil cocked his head to the side when he realized it was a wig.
"You're doing Destiny's Child, Richie! You have to be a girl!" Richie mimicked in a feminine voice, throwing the wig on. He turned around and eyed himself in the mirror. "Yeah, right. I'm walking out on stage with what I originally planned to wear… Not this…I really don't feel much like giving the entire school license to mock me for the rest of my life…" Richie paused as he shamelessly checked out his ass. Virgil tried to convince himself that he wasn't doing the same.
"Although…" Glancing over his shoulder, Richie made sure the coast was clear, before turning on the stereo system. He grinned as the beginning chords of "Bootylicious" began to play.
"No one's watching now..."
Only, Virgil was.
Virgil definitely was.
And when the third verse kicked in and Richie followed the instructions of the song and "let his booty touch the ground" Virgil definitely had an epiphany.
As well as a need for a new pair of pants.
O:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:O
It wasn't that Virgil was suddenly gay. Or that he suddenly liked men. He just suddenly liked Richie. A lot.
Only that it wasn't really suddenly. Rather, it had been over the course of several years that his attraction towards Richie had grown. It had just taken him a few booty shakes to realize it. And then some.
Taking in a deep breath, Virgil sat down next to Sharon in the back of the auditorium as the lights began to dim. His pops had said that he could go to the talent show if only to support Richie, and only if Sharon accompanied him. He felt that it was a small price to pay if it allowed him to see Richie dance in that outfit again.
The proceeding acts were less talent and more show, and by the time Daisy, Frieda, and Richie were announced to go on, Virgil was nearly dancing in his seat with anticipation, ignoring the odd looks Sharon was giving him. He felt an intense wave of disappointment fall over him when Richie stepped out on stage with an oversized t-shirt, sweatpants that fell down his hips and revealed heart boxers, a sideways visor and about twenty pounds of 'bling' covering what should have been just skin and black material. The crowd, however, had no qualms about Richie's ensemble and went wild with laughter. Especially when the blonde began to dance and sing, repeating all of his sensual moves from before, but with an overemphasized silliness to them.
When the performance was done, Richie was bowing dramatically to dozens of catcalls and hollers, along with an auditorium full of applause. Even Daisy and Frieda, who at first had been horrified at what was happening beside them, ending up clapping and giggling. Richie had stolen the show of course, which was to be expected now that Virgil thought about it. Richie had always been rather popular, especially because of his sometimes sick sense of humor. His little show tonight had been a primary example. And Virgil decided with an astute nod that he'd rather have half the school catcalling Richie because of his official performance tonight than because of his private dance before in the chorus room.
Because that private dance belonged to Virgil.
Virgil wasn't exactly sure when he had decided that the dance belonged to him, but he had, and it did.
And now all he had to do was inform Richie of that fact.
O:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:O
The first time Virgil realized that he was in love with Richie had been when his friend had been shot by Jimmy Osgood at the community center. Sure, they had been dating for quite a few months at that point in time, but Virgil still had never been able to say the 'L' word until then. Since that very moment, however, Virgil said it almost five times a day.
The first time Virgil realized that he liked Richie as more than a friend, but less than a boyfriend, had been when he found himself admiring Richie's adorable laugh. It was somewhere between a chortle and a giggle and wow, it was cute.
The first time Virgil realized that he wanted to shag Richie senseless had been when he had walked in on his friend booty dancing to Destiny's Child in the high school chorus room.
Now, sitting in the Gas Station of Solitude, a root beer in one hand and a video camera in the other, Virgil firmly decided that, while love and giggles probably made the world go round, booty dancing sure added a pretty damn good twirl.
END
