4Author's Note: Intended for the DramioneFanfictionWriters' July trope challenge: friends with benefits. But then I went and completely forgot to make if Dramione. Oops. Hope you enjoy.
Thanks to keyflight790 for beta reading!
-AFOR (August 1, 2020)
What Sort of Benefits?
June
Blaise nearly choked on his sip of champagne, and Draco only just barely concealed his laugh as an overblown sneeze. Theo was sure his own eyes were bulging.
Blaise coughed, and failed to smother his growing smirk. "What sort of benefits, Lovegood?"
He looked rather too pleased with himself for anything good to come of it—something Theo knew from experience.
"Her name's Luna," Theo inserted firmly.
Blaise's smirk flickered.
"Oh, I don't mind," Luna said lightly, turning her dazzling smile towards Theo. "Blaise has called me worse."
Blaise did choke that time, champagne jetting out of his nostrils. And only years of childhood etiquette lessons—insisted upon by Narcissa—saved Draco from spitting out his bite of scone.
Luna smiled placidly.
Salazar, she was magnificent.
When Blaise had, rather knowingly, inquired how long they'd been courting, Theo had spluttered very quickly that no, no – they were just friends. But Luna had tacked on, in a tone as serene as ever, "Friendship has got so many benefits, hasn't it?" Theo hadn't the faintest notion what she had thought that meant, but without a doubt she did not realise how it would be taken.
Less than half a minute later, she'd gone and put Blaise in his place and managed to stun all three of them speechless once again.
Still recovering from Luna's utter breach of 'polite' conversation, Blaise dabbed at several remaining droplets of champagne with his napkin.
Like the well-groomed heir he was, Draco said, as smoothly as he could, "So, Luna, how did you and Theo cross paths?"
"He has an infestation of freshwater plimpies at the muddy end of his pond."
Draco seemed unable to decide upon confusion or amusement. "And do you – er, help to get rid of freshwater plimpies often?"
"Well, yes." Luna tilted her head slightly in consideration. "Don't you?"
Draco blinked, then slowly said, "I – I haven't before, no."
It had been a long time since Theo had seen Draco this flustered, and – Merlin, if it wasn't doing something marvellous for his soul. Draco was almost pink.
"Really? Why's that?" Luna asked.
"I – er, I've never run into a plimpy before."
"Are you sure?" persisted Luna. "They're really very common."
As Draco reluctantly replied, Blaise turned to Theo. "So, you're not courting then?"
"No."
"But she's Luna now, is she?"
"Yeah. What of it?"
Blaise shrugged, surrendering, and went to help extract a rosy Draco from Luna's earnest conversation. If he was honest, Theo was glad the two were going.
"I don't think Draco's interested in plimpies very much," Luna remarked after the other two had gone—heading in the direction of a gaggle of eligible daughters.
Theo didn't remember a better choice he'd made in recent years than his decision to invite Luna Lovegood to be his plus-one for Mrs. Parkinson's garden party. Not only had Luna made the afternoon bearable—a vast improvement from the expected achingly boring—she had made it one of the more interesting afternoons of his life.
Beyond Draco and Blaise, Luna successfully flustered almost every witch and wizard she met, including—memorably—Edwardus Lima. He'd gone quite tight-lipped when she asked if there was much difference between captive mooncalves' mating rituals and wild mooncalves', since she'd heard that some of them quite likedto be watched. Unflappable pureblood matriarchs, who Theo had never seen so much as frown out of place, stuttered and stammered before Luna's looking-glass gaze. But the most impressive upset of the day had easily been Desdemona Rosier, who had dropped her decade-long façade of cloying debutante for a solid three minutes in order to argue with Luna that she must be mistaken, because there was such a thing as a colour just not being suited to someone. And Luna might as well find it out now.
As Theo walked with Luna away from the Parkinson estate, he asked, "So, what do you think are the benefits of our friendship?"
"Oh, where do I start? There are so many, of course. You're terribly funny, you know? And a much better research partner than Dean. And I think we make a rather good pair of museum-goers. …" She trailed off into some thought for a moment. "I've never had a good person to go to museums with before, you know? Hermione always reads every sign and she barely even looks at the artifacts."
Theo smiled. Of course. It was all so innocent—just like Luna. And they'd had a lovely time at the Victoria and Albert the previous Saturday.
"Do you – oh, never mind," he said, immediately thinking better of mentioning it.
"Theo?" Luna asked, so openly that it seemed hard-hearted to refuse her. "What is it?"
"It's nothing really, just," he faltered, searching for the words. "Just – friends with benefits tends to mean something else. You might not want to say that to other people."
Luna frowned slightly. "But there are so many benefits to being friends with you. You're wonderful!"
He was certainly blushing. "That's not really the point. It's just that people will think you mean something else."
"Like what?"
"Like, that something – er, improper is happening between us."
"But there's nothing improper happening."
"No."
"Then what does it matter what they think?"
He had no good answer.
October
Theo had spent the better part of the last four months sunk knee-deep in mud and marsh beside Luna. It had taken some time to get used to the feeling of being partially underwater. He still felt unsteady and awkward trying to manoeuvre through the pond in stiff rubber boots, with water pressing in at all sides. Both Luna and he had charmed their clothes water- and muck-repellent, but they wore wellies and dungarees nonetheless as a precaution. She'd lent him a pair of each, and he was half sure the dungarees were actually a shrunk-down pair of Longbottom's and the wellies were an old set of her father's.
In contrast to his discomfort, Luna seemed utterly at ease—the mismatch of the lumpy scarf she'd thrown on for the cold complemented her heedless spontaneity in the best of ways. She had her straggly blonde hair caught up in a plait and twisted into a low knot against the back of her neck. A distinctly hand-knitted, bottle green bobble hat sat halfway off her head, threatening to fall at any minute.
Freckles, flyaway hairs, and inescapable eyes had never been more distracting. Theo had lost count of the number of times he'd lost count of the plimpies he was supposed to be tallying because he'd been staring at her.
Really, he could only blame himself for his fascination. It had started the week before Mrs. Parkinson's garden party when Luna had mentioned she was reading Edwardus Lima's book on mooncalves, which had led to a lovely afternoon with her at his side and a number of unwelcome new feelings. It served him right. He shouldn't have invited the witch. Despite it being an entirely pleasant afternoon, one not-so-innocent question from Blaise and an innocent answer from Luna later, Theo had fallen asleep that night picturing what it would be like to be friends with benefits withLuna.
The fantasy had refused to quiet down all summer and so far into autumn. Instead, it had only gotten louder.
"Theo?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you please hand me the net?"
He slogged through the water towards her and handed over the mud-crusted net.
"Thanks."
Luna waded forward until she was up to her waist in the murky water, trying to spot movement of a plimpy. A gust of wind whistled by, stirring loose strands of her hair in gossamer swirls and spirals. They danced across her jumper—the one he'd been dying to pull off her for weeks. Theo had no good reason why a wool jumper was far and away more enticing than any of the thin t-shirts she'd worn over the summer, but his distraction was increasingly getting worse.
Net flying through the air, Luna lunged forward without warning.
It seemed that she'd captured it, and then she'd plunged into the water below.
"Luna!"
He pushed forward as fast as he could, but between the silt and weeds, it was only a brisk wade. Before he reached her, Luna resurfaced, dripping wet. Evidently, the water-repelling charms had not prevented the water seeping in through her collar or sleeves.
Theo helped her right herself. "Let's get you inside."
"Okay-ay," Luna said through her chattering teeth.
By the time they got inside, Luna shook with cold and her teeth clattered against each other. Even after he'd lit a fire, she continued to shiver. He hurried into the hall to retrieve blankets from the linen closet.
Luna stood facing the blazing fire when he re-entered. She'd shucked off her wellies, which lay discarded to one side, dripping onto the carpet. As he watched, she undid her dungaree hooks, letting the straps slither down her back.
"Luna!" he exclaimed. "Luna, what are – are you—"
She turned and calmly explained, "I need to get out of my wet clothes, or I'll catch hypothermia."
"Oh – oh, okay." He nodded.
Luna smiled and shimmied out of her dungarees, leaving her pale thighs sticking out from beneath the hem of her jumper. Then her hands went to the hem and she pulled it up over her head. Salazar! Her bra and knickers didn't match—as befit her—and the respective green satin and black cotton covered her as thoroughly as they could. It was better than he'd imagined.
"Those look very soft." Luna glanced towards the stack of blankets in his arms.
"Oh! Yeah, here." He stepped closer, unfolding a heavy wool blanket, and draped it over her shoulders.
"Thank you." She pulled it tight around her and it enveloped her like a giant's cloak.
"Not at all. Are you – are you okay?"
"Yeah." She settled herself onto the sofa. "I just need to warm up a bit. Will you keep me company?" She patted the space next to her.
"Yeah, okay."
It only occurred to Theo later, as he stared out at the deepening sunset, Luna's head resting sound asleep against his shoulder, that magic would have worked faster—heating charms, drying charms, pepperup. But he couldn't muster any regret.
January
"Theo?" Luna whispered, late one night.
"Yeah?"
She shifted in her position as the little spoon, nestling closer against his chest and tilting her lips upwards towards his ear. "I have a secret."
"You do?"
Half the time Luna didn't even realise she was talking aloud until he suggested a solution for whichever problem she was thinking through at the time. How in the world had she managed to get a secret, let alone keep it?
"Mmm-hmm. You remember Mrs. Parkinson's garden party?" Luna waited a moment to let his memory catch up.
"Yeah." Like he would have forgotten.
"I know what friends with benefits are, Theo," she breathed.
He gasped. He couldn't help it. "You lied?"
"I pretended—to give you time to think it over."
"You lied – fine – pretended just to get into my pants?"
"Well, they've got such cute patterns—all the little pygmy puffs," she cooed.
"Luna!" he laughed. "So, you've been playing innocent this whole time?"
"I've wanted to shag you silly since the first time we met in June, and I've been trying to seduce you for months, Theo. What ever made you think I was innocent?"
"Luna! Why not say something? It's been so awful—"
"Oh, yes. I know," she said patiently, and even though he could not see her face he knew she was smiling to herself. "You think I didn't notice you staring at me when I wasn't looking? Or how distracted you were?"
"You did?"
"You kept losing count."
He shook his head. "I still can't believe it. You knew, and you – all of that! You were doing it on purpose!"
Very kindly and gently, Luna said, "Theo, I don't know how much more obvious I could have been. Blaise – well why do you think he asked if we were courting?"
"Cause he's a git."
"Theo, Blaise and Draco realised right away, in June,that I wanted to court you."
He propped himself up to see her better. "They did?"
Luna smiled. "Everyone did."
He let that sink in. "So, when you fell into the pond?"
Her cheek dimpled. "It might not have been entirely an accident."
"And the jumper?"
"Oh, very intentional."
"I was genuinely worried, you know. I thought you might've caught hypothermia."
She stroked his arm. "And you took such good care of me."
He shook his head again. "So, Blaise and Draco have known since June?"
"Yes."
"That you want to court me?"
"Yes."
"And do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Want to court me?"
Luna rolled to face him fully. "Considering we've been shagging since Christmas, I think I've made it sufficiently obvious that I do."
"So, this," he gestured at them, "is what?"
"I think I'd call us a couple, Theo."
"Not just friends with benefits?"
Playfully, she said, "Well, I like to think relationships are just very good friendships with a great number of benefits."
"Yeah? What sort of benefits?" Theo asked, his mouth just barely skirting above her earlobe.
"Would you like a practical demonstration?"
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