1Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do not own That '70s Show or any of its characters. I own nothing!
Author's Note: Hello everyone, hope you all are doing well and staying safe. Sorry for not posting earlier in the moth, the days and weeks just kinda got a way from me but I wanted to share this little oneshot that came to me after asking the question of If a Reboot was made with Red and Kitty and only one other member from the gang who would you pick? And with a few people made this suggestion the idea just sprung to life I had to write it down. It's sorta another Life After the '70s story, another glimpse at what Red and Kitty's life after the '70s would like especially if they got some new neighbors. Hope you enoy the story, it's a pure fluff, family, fun one but I hope you like it. Thank for reading, hope you like, please review if you can I'd love to hear your thoughts. And as always, please, Enjoy!
One Flew Next-Door to the Nest
"Red, honey, the new neighbors are starting to move in," Kitty announced, entering the kitchen from the sliding doors, like the president had been the one to buy Bob's house. "Let's go over and say hello."
"No, thanks," replied Red, never glancing up from his morning paper.
He could almost hear her narrowing her eyes at him, "Red."
"Look, Kitty," he lowered the newspaper to face her look of disapproval. "Let's just take a minute to think about this. We're getting up there in age we've got what four to five years top?"
"Keep talking like that and you might just have less, mister," she informed him, her voice sounding more horrified than irritated.
He shook his head and continued. "My point is, less than half of that time is gonna be spent with these new neighbors. Is it really worth going over to meet them?"
Her silence as well as the unconvinced expression his wife stared back at him with, gave Red his answer.
"I guess so," he heaved out as a sigh before he folded up his paper and stood from his seat. "Let's get this over with."
Kitty's smile quickly sprung into place. "Thank you, Red. And you won't regret it. I talked to the man the other day and well, I think it's going to be very interesting."
A loud nervous giggled escaped Kitty's lips but Red ignored it and opened the glass door for her.
"We're too old for interesting, Kitty. I liked the people who moved in after Bob left," he shared as they stepped out onto their driveway. "They were good people."
"Red, no one's lived in that house since Bob moved to Florida two years ago."
Red pursed his lips together and nodded. "That explains the quietness. I'm sure gonna miss that."
"Oh hush," Kitty chided. "Look there he is. Hello there, neighbor!"
Together they headed over to the man who was currently giving his back as he crouched down and dug into a large cardboard box beside one of the back doors of Bob's old house. Kitty's steps of course were quicker, whereas Red sort of lingered behind wearily. He couldn't see the guy's face but could already tell it was young guy which probably meant he'd have young kids. There went his peace and quiet.
Just then the man they were approaching stood up straight and turned around to greet them with a smile. Red's cautious frown switched into one of annoyance when he saw the familiar face grinning back at him and Kitty.
"Oh, hey Mrs. Forman!"
"Kelso, get out of here," he barked out like he was trying to shoo off the neighborhood cat. "We're here to meet our new neighbor."
"Ah, man, we got another new neighbor? Where?" Kelso asked as he stretched his neck back and forth.
Red rolled his eyes. "No, Kitty and I have new neighbors. You don't because despite how much time you dumbasses spent here, you don't live here."
"Oh yeah, I know," nodded Kelso. "I don't live here but I do live here."
A deeper scowl formed on Red's forehead as he took in Kelso's words and the emphasis and hand gestures the kettlehead had used when he said that second "here." It was like he meant here…but he couldn't mean here, here…
"Hi there, neighbor!"
Red could've knocked that dopey grin right off his face. "Oh, hell's bells!"
Beside him, Kitty was wringing her hand together but that was doing little to contain any of the loud, nervous sound of laughter she was making. "Surprised?"
"You knew about this?" Red almost felt betrayed that his wife may've had a hand in this nightmare.
"Well, well yes," she tittered anxiously. "But, but only for the past two days. And I thought about telling you but I knew if I did you'd either never come over here or try to move us out of our house."
Red eyed her silently, those did sound like some good ideas.
Kitty went on. "Besides, Michael here wanted it to be well, a…a surprise. Surprise!"
While another nervous giggle was released by Kitty, Kelso stayed standing beside her grinning like the dumbass he was.
"Pretty great surprise, huh?" he boasted with pride.
"Yeah, right up there with the surprise Laurie had when she announced she'd married Haji."
Kelso yelped out an injured cry. "Oh, come on! It's not that bad. Me moving in next door to you didn't give you a heart attack."
"Yet," Red shot out, it really felt like it was only a short matter of time.
"Red," Kitty warned quickly before turning her focus back to Kelso. "Michael, honey, I am just so happy that you're our new neighbor," she giggles happily this time. "You know, I've always dreamed that one of you kids move in next door to us."
"Yeah, I'm pretty psyched too," Kelso nodded and grinned some more. "Cuz, I've always dreamed of living next door to a hot mom too."
A bashful giggle from Kitty made Red roll his eyes just before he caught her fluffing her hair a bit. "Oh, Michael. Red, did you hear that?"
"Yeah, I heard." Red grumbled frowning at the younger man. "And you better watch it Kelso or the next thing you're gonna hear is the sound of my foot when I shove it up your ass."
The smile on Kelso's face had still yet to flatten. "See? I'm even excited to live next door to that!" he exclaimed gleefully. "Man, this is gonna be the greatest!"
Red shook his head, still trying to understand it all "How could Bob sell his house to you?"
"Guess he wanted to make sure it went to a nice family," Kelso guessed with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Family?" Red repeated. "You don't mean…there's more…more Kelsos that are gonna be living here, do you?"
"Sorta. I mean one of them's not exactly an official Kelso yet, but I'm working on it," Kelso explained and turned his head towards his new home. "Hey babe, come on out here!"
When Red looked over in the direction that Kelso had turned in, it didn't take long for him to spot the somewhat familiar tall young woman walking out of the house with the littlest Kelso sitting on her hip.
"Oh look Red, it's Brooke and Betsy," Kitty was quick to inform as though he hadn't seen them himself. "You like Brooke and Betsy."
"Only because the tall girl here's not really a Kelso and the little one doesn't talk much," Red pointed a finger at the toddler aged child. "You keep that up and you'll be alright in my book, kid."
Shyly, the kettlehead's daughter nodded her head before she leaned it onto her mother's shoulder, cuddling closer.
Kitty gave another infamous giggles. "I think what Red means to say is, Hello neighbors!"
"Hi Mrs. Forman, hi Mr. Forman it's good to see you both," the always polite young woman greeted.
"How's the unpacking going, dear?" was the question that Kitty seemed to need to know the answer to first.
"Ugh, it feels like it's never gonna end," Brooke vented, shifting her daughter slightly. "I only just started to take a break now because I know somebody gets cranky if they don't eat lunch."
"Hey, a full tummy is a happy tummy," Kelso said as if he were making a point.
Meanwhile Kitty shook her head and tsked. "Well don't you worry about that, I can whip you up something to eat. You, Michael, and little Betsy."
"Mrs. Forman, you don't have too…"
"Oh, but I want to," Kitty insisted. Red debated telling the tall girl not to fight it, when Kitty continued with what she had to say. "This way you won't have to stop working until the food's already done and you can have a real break where you can relax and not have to worry about making food."
"You don't have to go to that much trouble. Really…"
Kitty reached out and place her hand on the young mother's arm. "Honey, it's not any trouble. It's the neighborly thing to do."
Red nearly groaned at this not so friendly reminder.
"Well, okay then," she finally agreed, smiling softly.
"Okay, yay! Now you can go back over there and finish up with whatever you were working on before and I'll work on lunch," Kitty nearly sounded giddy as she shared her plans. "And when I'm done with the food, I'll run it over to you and while you eat, I'll come back here to change so Red and I can help you finish all your unpacking.
Brooke was smiling. "Sounds great, thanks, neighbor."
"Neighbor," Kitty repeated, her grin growing more and more. "Oh, I have missed that!"
The two women shared a loud, happy giggle before they each headed off in separate directions and disappeared into their own homes. This left Red and Kelso standing in Red's driveway. One of course looked much happier than the other.
"This is great, isn't it?" Kelso grinned as he watched the women disappear. "Our chicks are friends and are being all giggly together. And now we're gonna be living next door to each other, we're like Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone!"
Kelso then proceeded to give a chuckle that sounded nearly identical to the short annoying cartoon character. Red did not think this was a good sign.
"Yeah, you're a real yabba dabba dumbass," Red muttered dryly, but Kelso just grinned back and nodded his head.
"Oh, hey!" he shouted out, like he'd suddenly been struck with an idea. "That reminds me, now that we're neighbors and all I figured we should probably talk about you know, the important neighborly things."
Red was almost afraid to ask but realized it might be worse if he didn't ask at all. "Like what?"
"Like the planning of this year's Veteran's Day Barbeque."
A furrow formed in Red's brow. "Kelso, it's August."
"It's never to early to start planning," Kelso defended his conversation. "And since I'm new to the neighborhood, I thought it'd be the perfect reason for me to host it over at my new place this year."
"Kelso, being new to the neighborhood doesn't make you qualified to host the Veteran's Day barbeque," Red firmly shared.
This seemed to be new information to the tall man and not the kind that sat too well with him. He huffed and scoffed before crossing his arms over his chest. "Oh, yeah? Then what makes you so qualified to do it?"
"I'm a veteran," Red said simply but with a hint of pride.
"Oh, come on," groaned Kelso while rolling his head and eyes. "Anyone can say that they're one of those guys. I could say I'm a veteran too!"
Red glared angrily at the dumbass in front of him, he could practically feel the back of his neck getting hotter. "Kelso. You do that and the only thing they'll be calling you is an ambulance after I kick your ass!"
"Okay!" swiftly, Kelso lifted his hands to defend himself. "I won't! I mean I could, but I won't. And I still think I should get the chance to throw the Veteran's Day barbeque."
"Why's that?"
"Because I'm good looking," Kelso answered as if the answer should have been clear from the start. "And it's a scientific fact that the more people go to parties that are being thrown by good looking people. And you don't mess with science, Red."
Looking skywards, Red dropped his head back in annoyance. He was going to live the rest of his life next door to this dumbass? Was it too late to move him and Kitty down to Florida?
"Does that mean I get to host it?" Kelso question interrupted Red's thought.
"Kelso," Red drew his chin back down to glare directly at the young man before him. "You're not throwing the Veteran's Day barbeque because Veteran's Day is my day because I'm the veteran, damn it!"
"Fine!" Kelso exclaimed, but despite his verbal agreement he still appeared determined. "Then I call dibs on next year's Fourth of July party!"
Fourth of July? That was almost a year from now!
Red scowled a scowl so deep, he felt a pain in his head—though it could partly be in fault to Kelso. "What? Why would you…"
"Cuz I'm good looking!" shouted Kelso before Red could finish phrasing his question.
"Is that the only reason you've got?" Red continued to frown.
Kelso gestured towards his smirking face. "Hey, when you're this good looking, it's the only reason you need."
By this point, Red had had enough of this whole conversation. "Go home, Kelso," he ordered.
"Fine!" Kelso shouted before marching off just a mere few feet so that he was no longer on Red's property but on his own newly bought property. The two men could still see each other perfectly and to Red they were still much too close for his liking.
"I don't see how this helps any," Kelso said from his own yard, his voice getting louder with each word. "Cuz it's just making me talk even louder! And we're still talking about how I should be the one to throw the Fourth of July party!"
Once again Red dropped his head back in annoyance. One of his go-to ways to get Kelso out of his face was no longer going to work if Kelso's home was just literally a few feet away from his own.
"I still don't get that head thing, Red! Does that mean you agree?" Kelso wanted to know, stretching his neck a bit. However, Red didn't respond with any answer and instead turned his back to Kelso and walked off to his house.
"Ok, alright, you think it over! We can talk about it at game night this week!" came Kelso's shouting voice from behind Red. "I'm thinking a round of Parcheesi at your house!"
As soon as Red was in the safety of his kitchen, he shut the sliding door behind him—and not a moment too soon. Kelso had been going on about the kinds of snacks he thought should be part of the suggested game night. Red staggered over to his seat at the kitchen table, slinking into it, he scrubbed his face with his palm.
"So," he could hear his wife's nervous tone. "What did you think of our new neighbors?"
Removing his hand from his face, he looked over to the stove where Kitty was making soup and grilled cheese sandwiches "I never thought I'd say this, Kitty," he sighed exhaustedly. "but I miss Bob."
The End
Author's Note: So what did you think? Yay? Nay? A little of both? Hope you enjoyed reading this piece as much as I liked writing it and I hope it could bring a smile or laugh to you for a moment or two. :D
Did you guess Red and Kitty's new neighbors correctly? Would you want to see more of the Kelsos' as the Formans' neighbors?
Until next time, thanks for reading, hope you liked, please review and lemme know what you think, take care, and have a nice day!
