Prologue

Tonks knew by heart the story of when the raw urge to shift had first started. Her mum often told people that she had begun changing from a few seconds after she was born. The healer hadn't even finished cleaning her when the Metamorph's hair grew longer and thicker, shifting from dark brown to angry red before, as she was finally placed in Andromeda's arms, settling on lilac.

The Metamorph couldn't recall, however, when she had first started learning she had to control such urges. Tonks couldn't place the moment when she noticed that her shape-shifting abilities were sometimes unwelcomed or when she realized that there were boundaries she should not trespass.

Although Tonks had a feeling that it hadn't been the first time it had happened, the first clear memory of someone reacting badly to one of her shiftings was imprinted in her mind. It was also one of her very first cloudless recollections: the time when Sirius Black, her mother's cousin, was imprisoned in Azkaban for betraying his best friends.

Tonks had been a spirited eight-year-old back then, who used to think the world of her second cousin since he was the only one who seemed to understand her desire to turn everything into a silly joke. She had quite a few fuzzy memories of his bark-like laughter and the lousy motorcycle.

The Metamorph couldn't recall if it was her desire to comfort herself or just because she wanted to see her mother, who had been crying for a long time, laugh. Or, perhaps, she was just tired of being she — and, while Tonks wasn't sure if it had happened before then, she knew it happened several times in the years to come.

It took Tonks many attempts before she could morph herself into an eight-year-old boy who shared some resemblance with Sirius. He — and the Metamorph felt back then that the change of pronouns felt right only because it completed the character portrayed — couldn't do more since his skills were still in development, but felt great about the results.

Indeed, looking at himself in the mirror, he realized it felt right in a way he couldn't describe. Maybe in the same way how his elbow had felt after his mum had healed it, a few weeks before, after a bad fall from a broom. Or, perhaps, like when he placed the last piece of a puzzle he had spent ages trying to complete.

Tonks never could figure how long he stood there, staring at himself in the mirror in amazement, studying the features that felt to be more his than Sirius', and wondering how to describe his feelings to his mum and dad. The magic of the moment vanished when Tonks saw his mum's reflection in the mirror and noticed an expression of pure horror in her face.

Right then, even before his mum started yelling at him, the Metamorph realized changing his face into her cousin's had been a terrible idea of a joke. He couldn't figure if it was because Tonks had morphed into Sirius or a girl turned into a boy, or if both had been the cause of his mum's horrified gaze.

Afterwards, Tonks had cried herself to sleep, hoping to forget what had happened. Still, even years after, she would recall the word professed in anger and hurt. The word her mum had apologized for at the moment she realized she had said it. The word she would never, no matter how upset she was, repeat again.

Abnormal.

~~/~~

A Prequel of the fic "The Others".

I know the usage of pronouns right now is not quite right and there is some heavy misgendering going on here. Bare with me for a little longer, though.

Tonks doesn't quite understand what is going on with her/him and, since this fic is set in the 80s, information about gender identity is not out there. Since this is Tonks' point of view, I will try being true to what she/he is or is thinking.

I promise the misgendering won't last forever (neither in here nor in "The Others").