1The Way We Are
In the six months that Anna had been Queen of Arendelle, she had learned a lot. She always knew that rulers had a lot of responsibilities, but she never imagined the physical and emotional toll that it took on you. A typical day was full of meetings, writing letters, coming up with new laws to possibly implement, all the while trying to find time to do the simple things like eat, bathe, and spend time with Kristoff and Olaf. Much to her delight, Elsa came to visit at least once a week, which was a big joy to Anna. Since her sister moved to Northuldra, she didn't see her as often, so every chance she got to see her, Anna was overjoyed. Truth be told, even though it had been months since their last adventure, Anna still wasn't fully comfortable with how much their lives had changed. When she finally got Elsa back in her life three years ago, Anna thought it would always be this way: her sister being by her side through thick and thin. Then all of a sudden it wasn't that way. Through their adventure in the Enchanted Forest, Elsa had finally found herself in a place where she was truly meant to be. Even though Anna understood this, she couldn't help but wish that things were different sometimes. She wished that Elsa was still queen, and that she could see her every day. There were times when she wanted to tell Elsa how she felt, but she didn't want to trouble her. The freedom that Elsa craved for many years was now her own. It would be selfish for Anna to want to take that away from her. Still, the desire for the way things once were was overwhelming.
One afternoon, after her last meeting of the day, Anna was going through her agenda for tomorrow. Just a glance at the list of things that she had to do made her sigh out loud. It never seemed to end. After writing down one more thing in her notebook, Anna got up and walked over to the window. The sun was beginning to set, but the entire kingdom could still be seen. As she gazed off into the harbor, a figure began to emerge. It was an all to familiar figure. There racing across the harbor was Elsa. She was riding the Nokk, racing towards the docks. Not wasting a second, Anna ran downstairs into the courtyard, where she waited for Elsa to arrive. When she did, Anna ran into her arms, hugging her tightly. It had been a week since she'd last seen her, so this was a real treat having her visit.
"Elsa! It's so good to see you!" Anna cried.
"It's great to see you too, Anna! I thought you could use a visit," Elsa said.
"You have no idea. It's been so stressful lately. If it's not one thing, it's another," Anna revealed.
"Well, tell me about it. You know that I'm always here to talk too," Elsa said.
There was something off with that word: "always." Yes, it was true that Anna and Elsa could see each other whenever they wanted, but they weren't together anymore. There was the spiritual link to each other, of course. After all, she and Elsa were the bridge between humans and spirits. But the bond that they had renewed three years ago after the Thaw wasn't the same anymore. In all honesty, it ate her up inside at times. She wanted so much of what she couldn't have. Those days are gone now. This is the future.
"It's nothing, Elsa," Anna sighed.
"Anna, I can tell that you're upset. Please talk to me."
"Can we sit down at least?" Anna said.
"Of course."
The sisters sat down on a bench in the courtyard. Even though they were sitting together, Anna didn't look at Elsa. This was very unusual. Usually, Anna couldn't take her eyes off of her sister.
"Are your duties getting to you?" Elsa asked. "I know that it can be overwhelming at times, but if there's anything you need…
"It's not that, Elsa!" Anna exclaimed.
Elsa was shocked by Anna's tone of voice. Whenever she was upset, it was usually because of something she did. Was that what it was?
"It's me isn't it?" Elsa said. "I can tell by the way you're avoiding eye contact with me."
"I don't want to talk about it, Elsa," Anna protested.
"Remember how you said no more closed doors between us?" Elsa reminded.
The irony of that was huge. Anna was always reminding Elsa of that, but this time it was the other way around. She would be a hypocrite if she didn't open up to Elsa.
"I just…I can't help but thinking of the way things once were," Anna confessed.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I miss the way our relationship once was. You know, the two of us spending every day together. You ruling the kingdom, and me being by your side every step of the way. Now we're living completely different lives," Anna said. "There's a part of me that can't accept that."
It didn't surprise Elsa that Anna felt that way. After all, thirteen years of no contact with each other, the idea of separation so soon after their reunion was unbearable. Though she loved her life in Northuldra, there were times when she too thought about the way things once were.
"I know how you're feeling I…
"No, you don't, Elsa!" Anna snapped.
"You're free! I'm confined to Arendelle where I'm responsible for everything! Not to mention, I don't have my sister by my side like I was with you when you were Queen," Anna pointed out.
"Anna, can I please…
"I know that you're happy with where you are, and I'm happy for you, but it feels like we're separated again. I thought we were meant to be together."
"Anna! Listen to me!" Elsa said, raising her voice.
"I understand that things are very different for us now. There are times when I myself can't believe how much is changed, but please don't think for one second that we're separated again. Our bond is stronger than ever," Elsa said.
"How? We only see each other once or twice a week?" Anna asked in disbelief.
"Our love. I can feel your love for me whenever I go. When I'm riding the Nokk or spending time with Bruni, I can feel your presence with me. As I told you, we'll continue to do this together, because we're sisters."
"I feel you too, Elsa, but I can't help but want you by my side all the time," Anna said.
"I understand, but there are many different paths in life, and even though we want to be on the same path as someone, if our true calling is elsewhere, we must follow it. That's what I did. You and I are where we belong. That's what our parents would have wanted," Elsa said.
"I just miss the way we were, that's all," Anna whispered softly.
"The way we were? Anna, we're still the same. We may have different roles now, but we haven't changed. We're still sisters, and best friends. If you need me, I'll be here. Don't ever forget that."
By now tears were streaming from Anna's eyes. The mixture of both pain and love was too much to bear. She fell into Elsa's lap, letting her older sister gently run her fingers through her hair.
"How could I be so selfish? You've got your own life now. I have to accept that. Deep down I know you love me, even if you're not always physically here with me," Anna sobbed. "Please forgive me, Elsa."
"Anna, there is nothing to forgive. You told me how you were feeling, that's all. For that, I thank you."
"You know how you once said that I saved you twice?" Anna said. "Well, you've saved me as well."
Elsa smiled. There was so much about Anna that she loved. What she did to deserve her, she would never know. Instead, she chose to cherish her. For when their mother saved their father, the spirits not only blessed her with her powers, they blessed her with Anna.
