82A/N: You know that saying, be careful what you ask for, you just might just get it? That's what happened here.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck
Chuck went to his car Thursday night, ready to go home. He put his key in the ignition, turned it over, and it made a clicking noise. "Nonononono," he muttered. He took a deep breath, tried it again, and it roared to life, but then sputtered, and died. He dropped his head onto the steering wheel and left it there, until a knock on the glass made him jerk his head up. Sarah was standing there.
"Everything okay?" she asked, as he opened the door and got out.
"Nope," Chuck replied. "I was hoping to go a few more months before I had to replace her, but this is really the worst time." He blew out a frustrated breath. "I need to pack, and I have to drive to the hotel tomorrow."
"I could take you," Sarah offered. "I mean, it would be appropriate, given how much we might have to work together."
"I would really appreciate… th… at… listen, don't kill him, okay?" Chuck finished, sotto voce. Sarah tensed. "It's… him."
"Charles…" the tentative voice came. "Miss Walker."
"It's Sarah," she said, spinning and moving closer to Chuck. "If I go to kill him, grab me," she murmured.
"Wouldn't you then kill me?" Chuck asked in the same low tone.
"I could never kill you, Chuck," she replied. "Not intentionally, anyway," she added. His eyes widened at that. "What do you want?" she asked Lester.
"I need to speak with Charles," Lester began.
"Just spit it out!" Sarah barked at him. Lester paled noticeably, and swallowed.
"I… I realized I may have done something against the spirit of our deal," Lester began. Chuck narrowed his eyes at Lester. "I told our new HR director she could room with me."
"Jesus," Sarah said, a disgusted look on her face.
"I fixed it," Lester said. "But, that means we are one room short and the hotel is booked solid. The only fair thing to do was to not let the last person that signed up to go."
"Let me guess, that's Chuck," Sarah said. Her voice was confusing to Chuck. She didn't sound happy. Did she want him to go that badly, or did she just not want to be there without her partner in crime, to deal with this mess.
"And, he has to go," Lester finished. "So, every other room has all the beds booked." Sarah gave him a look. "Sorry, every male room." Lester was silent for a second. "And every female room… except one."
Sarah looked off at the skyline, not saying a word.
Chuck was growing more confused by the second. "So, either I share a bed with someone, or you're proposing I sleep in the same room as a female coworker?" Chuck made no attempt to hide his incredulous tone. "Let's say for just one damn second, the woman was alright with this, because, I'm pretty sure she's not. But let's say she is, because I have to know, Lester, exactly how am I supposed to ask a female coworker that I share a room with her? How, Lester? How?"
"It's me," Sarah said softly.
"See, it's practically done," Lester pointed out.
"Leave!" she snarled. Lester eeped, and ran away.
"I guess I can ask Morgan if I can share a bed with him," Chuck began.
"Or, you can stay in my room," Sarah offered.
"Wait, no," Chuck said, looking at her with shock on his face. "No, you had to deal with his insanity already. I am not about to do this to you."
"Do what to me?" Sarah asked.
"Expose you to my chicken-like legs," Chuck replied, making her snort. "Oh, and that right there, the snorting, that's a deal-breaker, in its own right. I'll be telling one of my world-famous jokes-"
"World… famous?" she asked, an amused grin on her face.
"World famous," he reiterated. "And you'll start snorting and then… well… we just can't have that, can we?"
"You were going to this retreat because of me, weren't you?"
"It doesn't matter if I was or not, you don't owe me," Chuck said. "Taking me in your car is one thing, but if we share a room… do you know what they might say?"
"That I got lucky?" Sarah asked. Chuck blinked, his mouth slowly opening and closing like a fish. "I really don't give a damn what anyone says, Chuck. What do you think they might say if we work together, like we're talking about having to work together?"
"Yeah, but…"
"I know, I know… your chicken legs," she said, shaking her head. "Can't you do some squats, or something?"
"Not all of us can have perfect legs like you," he replied, thinking it was a great comeback. As soon as it came out of his mouth, he realized that was not the case. "I-I… uh…"
"They are pretty amazing," she said, twisting one as she looked down at it, and then back at him, grinning.
"Lot of squats?" he asked, crossing his arms and trying to appear as clinical as he could.
"God-given blessing," Sarah replied, shrugging. "But I do run."
"In addition to running away from Lester and his awful comments?" She snorted again, and then swatted him as he chuckled.
"Do the legs not make up for the snorting?" she asked. His throat went dry. "I thought so." She smirked at him. "Get in the car, I'll drive you home, and then tomorrow I'll come get you and we'll spend the weekend together."
"What if you can't stand me?" Chuck asked.
She was silent for just a second. "I think we both know I can stand you just fine."
Chuck had no response to that.
}o{
"Are you gonna say anything?" she asked, a few minutes into the drive to his apartment.
"Did you hear the one about the woman that found out her husband replaced the bed with a trampoline?" Chuck asked. She shook head. "She hit the roof."
Sarah slowed the car, and pulled to the side of the road. "Get out," she said, grinning.
"But then I'll miss your legs," Chuck countered.
"Well played, Bartowski," she murmured appreciatively. "Well played." She checked traffic, and merged back in, seamlessly. "Are you okay with sharing a room with me?"
"I mean… I don't know if you're aware, but you are extremely attractive," Chuck began. She chuckled at him. "And I try and be as respectful as can be-"
"Chuck, I'm not going to parade through the room naked," she told him.
"Didn't think you were," he began.
"Half-naked, maybe, but never fully naked." Chuck wheezed a bit as she burst out laughing. "God, you are too easy."
"I'm not touching that line," he muttered. "If you're okay with it, then I'm okay with it. I just think it puts you in an awful position."
"What if I tell everyone that my room assignment got messed up, and you offered to let me stay with you?" Sarah asked. "I mean, that way, you would seem like the gallant gentlemen, and those that would think the worst would high-five you."
"Whereas if you offered, you're obviously a sex-starved maniac," Chuck began.
"Obviously. And don't forget, I probably lured you into my room," she added.
"You don't give a flip what they say," Chuck said softly.
"Nope," Sarah replied. "I've been accused of everything in the world to get where I am in my line of work. And I am just tired of it. What I do know is that you are a decent guy. What I also know is enough Brazilian jui-jitsu that if you try anything I don't consent to, I can easily defend myself-"
"Wait, you didn't want me to?" he asked.
"And," she said, ignoring his interruption, but grinning, "that I need a weekend away from work, and even though we'll be going with our workmates, I'm pretty sure we can have fun."
"Sounds good," Chuck said, nodding as she pulled up in front of his apartment. "Listen," he said, turning to her. "Thank you. For everything."
"Thank you, for everything," she said, reaching over and squeezing his hand. "Any last jokes before I leave?"
"Are you sure? Because one of two things could happen; you might never pick me up in the morning, or want to spend the night." She gave him an amused look as she shook her head. "Fine, don't say I didn't warn you."
"Give me your best shot," she told him.
"In today's top story," Chuck began, sounding like a newscaster. "Convicted hitman Jimmy 'Two Shoes' McClarty admitted he was once hired to beat a cow to death, in a rice field, using only two small porcelain figures." He paused dramatically. "Police admit this may be the first known case of a knick-knack-paddy-whack."
Sarah just stared at him, and then burst out laughing. She leaned toward him, still laughing, and held onto his shirt. "That was awful!" she managed to get out.
"So, we still rooming together?" he asked.
"Oh, absolutely," she replied. "I'll see you tomorrow." He got out of the car. "Chuck?" she called after him, and he turned around.
"Yes, Sarah?" he asked.
"You will be respectful in the room, right?" Sarah asked.
Chuck paused. "I will be exactly as respectful as you want me to be." She winked at him, and drove off. What the hell had he gotten himself into?
A/N: Strap in folks, this one's gonna be fun. Have you wondered who might be behind the idea of the INTERSECT conference?
