88What If: Humility
"Humility is the virtue that consists in knowing your own limitations and weaknesses ..."
ARC I: Reinventing Life from Zero
Cruel Humility
Two Months since the Last Death (Three Deaths)
What is death? The end of the life. The rule that measures all beings, regardless of species, status, or age, equally. You can escape the pain, you can escape the consequences of your actions, you can even escape any type of problem that may appear throughout your life, but you can never escape death. That is a universal law, which applies even to the heavenly bodies and the universe itself. Everything that has a beginning has an end. Everything except Natsuki Subaru.
And make no mistake, it isn't that Subaru is incapable of suffering, changing, or dying. Subaru is a human like any other, without any quality that makes him stand out above the rest. He isn't very intelligent, and he isn't in excellent physical condition either; definitely, he is mediocre in every way. Except for one detail, and that is that every time his life is severed from him, time itself is rewound in his favor, until he is placed in a favorable position, in which he can escape from any upcoming danger that may end his life.
That is not an ability he was born with. In fact, Subaru is from a different world than the one in which he finds himself in the present. He himself doesn't know why or how he ended up in the fantastic world in which he is now, the same applies to his peculiar ability: Return by Death. He also doesn't know if going back to his world is even an option. One could even affirm that, within himself, he is aware that doing so is impossible; at least is not an option that has been presented to him.
Unaware of the reasons why he is where he is, and unaware of the existence of other people who are in the same situation as him, Subaru decided to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and started an enterprise. The idea crossed his mind shortly after understanding his situation, but at the time it occurred to him, he had yet to solve a problem that, if left unsolved, would lead to the death of three people, including a girl with a big heart that didn't deserve such a horrendous fate...
"¡Subaru! ¡Subaru!"
"What-!? Ouch!"
Subaru woke up abruptly, falling from his bed in the process. Still with his consciousness submerged in the waters of a deep and stormy dream, Subaru blinked a few times. Through the curtain of his room, the rays of the morning sun were filtering. Due to its low brightness, it couldn't be later than nine in the morning; although of course, that time measurement doesn't apply where he is now. Rubbing his eyes, in order to wake up completely, Subaru broke free of the sheet that was binding his body. As he got back to his feet, he heard a voice call him again, while the door to his room was knocked with annoying insistence.
"Subaru! Wake up! I have a message that you really need to take right away!"
Understanding the urgency that carried the voice, Subaru decided not to waste time changing his nightwear and approached the door. The door itself had nothing to attract attention, it was brown, of a wood that could not stand out in any detail and was supported by two rather thick hinges. What stood out was the set of locks and bolts that kept anyone out of the room.
One could relate the exaggerated amount of security at the door, to the fact that Subaru had two months of having arrived at that world, but that would be a misconception. It was due to the three deaths suffered the first day he arrived in that world, that Subaru began to fear that he would find himself involved in a similar situation again. What if the terrifying gut-loving woman returned? What if the trio of fools returned with a group of thugs to take revenge? Those questions would not allow Subaru to sleep peacefully, without taking various considerations before going to bed; and even then, fear would never completely disappear.
"What is it, Leith? You know very well that I've never been a morning person." Removing the last lock, Subaru said that to the person behind the door, as he opened it.
Leith was the name of the guy who was there. Leith hair was combed to one side, like the typical nerd image existing in his world. He wore a brown coat over a white cloth shirt, trying to imitate the clothes of those nobles of the upper class, although it was obvious to the naked eye that the quality of his clothes was very poor. Still, Leith was a man with excellent manners, at least most of the time, who struggled to rise from the social class in which he was born.
"Here." Leith, ignoring Subaru's comment, handed him a sheet of paper carefully.
Subaru narrowed his eyes at the care with which the boy treated said paper sheet. Taking it, he noticed that it was not a simple paper sheet; it was an envelope. The envelope was made from a completely neat white paper, at a level never seen by Subaru in that world. Considering that the printing press there was not as developed as in his world, it was not surprising that the paper was slightly dark in color and rough to the touch, but that was not the case with the envelope Leith had given to him.
"Who sends it?" Subaru asked, looking up to meet his partner face to face. Considering the quality of the envelope, it must have been from someone important.
"Look behind it." He indicated.
Subaru looked down at the envelope again, but before doing as Leith had told him, he ran his finger over the wax seal that held the envelope closed. There was not much to point out, because the letter that was drawn on the wax was unrecognizable to him.
In the time he had since he came to that world, Subaru dedicated part of it to studying the writing of that place, which was very different from his native home; curiously, both places shared the spoken language, with the only difference of some accents.
In that world, the writing is divided into three types of glyphs, i-glyphs, ro-glyphs, and ha-glyphs, the first being the most basic and the other two being of a more advanced level. Until now, Subaru has barely managed to reach a medium level of understanding of i-glyphs, although that is not very far from what a child of that world can read.
With that in mind, the character marked on the envelope seal was nothing more than a meaningless drawing for Subaru. Realizing that he would get no information from the seal, he finally turned the letter over and saw that there was information written there. Seeing it, he couldn't help but frown. That information was also written in glyphs that he was not able to read, and Leith knew that Subaru could only read i-glyphs. So why did Leith insist that he turn the envelope over?
When Subaru was about to point out that mistake on Leith's part, his gaze caught something that did indeed make sense to him. Right on the left side of the envelope, in the lowest part of it. It was a name, or so it seemed. Subaru brought the envelope closer to his face so he could be able to read better the only i-glyph words on the entire envelope.
"Anastasia... Hoshin... Anastasia Hoshin." Subaru repeated the name, as if hoping to understand what Leith apparently hoped he could understand. But after a moment, he gave up and looked back at the guy. "Am I supposed to know what that name means?"
Leith sighed at Subaru's comment. "I really don't understand how you have been able to survive all this time."
"I already told you that I came here from after the Great Cascade, that you don't believe me, won't change that I'm someone new in this world." Subaru replied, shrugging his shoulders as if that was a worn detail.
Subaru initially thought about lying about where he came from, but after many people began to doubt the ideas, he was trying to sell them, he decided to choose to tell the truth. That was perhaps not the best solution to the problem, as people began to doubt his sanity more, but at least it solved the annoying insistence that some people had to find out where he came from.
"Anyway, leaving that aside… I can understand that you don't know many things, still... you really don't know who Anastasia Hoshin is? Didn't you leave the workshop yesterday during all day?"
"Well, I was working on a new design, so… no. Anyway, stop playing the mystery and tell me who's this Anastasia Hoshin." At Subaru's exasperated response, Leith sighed again.
"Whatever. Do you remember that yesterday it was revealed who're the five candidates for the Royal Selection?" Subaru nodded at the question. In the time he was in that world, Subaru learned various things from the world he was at.
It is made up of a single large continent, with no oceans, which is surrounded by the Great Cascade. This continent is divided into four major countries, the Holy Kingdom of Gusteko to the north, the Holy Empire of Vollachia to the south, the States of the Kararagi City to the west, and the Dragon Kingdom of Lugunica to the east. Subaru is in the latter, specifically, in the royal capital, Lugunica. In addition to these four main countries, there are others which are smaller and of lesser importance scattered throughout the continent.
Regarding Lugunica, is governed by the royal family, although recently this was eradicated by an illness, so a selection is about to be made to tell its next ruler. The importance of this fact is due not only to a political issue, but also because the future of the country depends on it. Its name, Lugunica Dragon Kingdom, comes from a pact made hundreds of years ago, between the royal family and the dragon called Volcanica. This dragon is the one who protects the country from all catastrophes, so keeping such a pact is truly a matter of life or death for the kingdom.
"So, this Anastasia Hoshin is one of the candidates?" Subaru questioned; Leith nodded. "And what with that? You know I'm not interested in politics…"
"That is why I say that your ignorance of the current situation's so dangerous! Anastasia Hoshin isn't only a candidate for the throne, but she's also the owner and president of one of the most important companies in Kararagi, the Hoshin Trading Company. She's considered a genius next to the legendary merchant Hoshin of the Wilderness, from whom she took her last name and the name of her company. That a person like her is interested in us... in you, is something that we cannot miss."
"Okay, okay... From what you say, I understand that she's a person that I should have been aware of since I entered the world of commerce. In that case, let's open the envelope and see what the letter inside say." Subaru, realizing that this was a great opportunity for the business he was beginning to bring to life, broke the seal and took a paper sheet out of the envelope. The letter was written on the same type of paper as the envelope and was written entirely in glyphs that were unknown to him. Without saying a word, he held out the paper to Leith, who took it without questioning his actions.
"Ahem!" Leith cleared his throat and proceeded to read the contents of the letter.
Subaru stared in horror at the future that was about to reach Satella, the kind and stubborn girl, Felt, the thief girl, and Old Man Rom, Felt's adoptive grandfather. Subaru had considered escaping, selling the cell phone he brought with him from his world, and starting to do business with his knowledge of the "new world", but his conscience stopped him.
The family, the woman carrying tomatoes, the tomato that fell, the tomato that was crushed by a carriage. None of that could be related to what was about to happen, and even so, it was enough to remind him of the terrible fate that these three people were about to suffer at the hands of Elsa, the terrible woman who rejoices at taking the bowels of her victims.
With that in his mind, Subaru entered an alley, where sooner rather than later he encountered the three insistent thieves. Regardless of how many times he had died so far, their presence remained an inevitable fact. Therefore, Subaru had already concluded that these men had decided to assault him since before Subaru spoke to the apple guy.
Without much time to act, Subaru began to think about what the correct course of action would be to take. He was aware that while he could defeat them if he attacked them in the correct order, he still risked himself to get stabbed in the back, just like his previous death. With that in mind, Subaru decided to leave his stupid and unwarranted pride behind and began calling the guards using a female voice.
They are more likely to come rescue me if they think I am a woman, he concluded. Subaru knew of the existence of guards, not only because during his previous tours around the city he saw more than one guard wearing his armor. But also, during his previous death, he heard the three stupid muggers talk about the possibility of being arrested for the crime of having murdered him.
And although for a moment he feared that no one would come to his rescue, a red-haired man of intense aura finally appeared on the scene. The goons fled, not without first claiming that the man was the Sword Saint. From their reaction, it was obvious that he was not a simple guard, which surprised Subaru since he was finally starting to have some luck since he arrived in that world. The man, who was apparently named Reinhard, exuded an aura of kindness and incomparable power.
"So... Subaru. Is there anything else you need my help on?"
Subaru smiled, excited, and began to ask the knight, who according to his words was off duty, to accompany him to the Old Man Rom's Loot Cellar and then... he stopped. Reinhard looked at him puzzled, as he considered what he was about to say. Subaru must be sincere, in his heart two unpleasant emotions pulsed and intermingled: envy and pride.
Of course, he was grateful to the knight for saving him, and of course he wanted to ask for his help. He had already made him come to that alley, why not go a little further and take him to the Loot Cellar? It is true that the danger presented by Elsa is enormous, but that is no reason not to ask Reinhard for help, quite the contrary; but Subaru was aware that he would not be able to fulfill his promise if he took Reinhard with him.
Because Subaru told Satella, on their deathbed, that he would save her. If Reinhard accompanied him, Subaru would be relegated to be a mere spectator, nothing more. With that in mind, Subaru was about to settle for telling the flaming redhead to look for Emilia in order to warn her that it was better to avoid the Loot Cellar, and that he would take the responsibility for returning what had been stolen from her. But before doing so, Subaru recalled the pain of his previous three deaths.
Being stabbed in the back can be considered a disgrace to a knight, but it still doesn't compare to the pain of feeling how your abdomen is being cut opened. The feeling of how your bowels spread on the floor, while liters of blood flow out of your body, leaving you dry. All while the cause of such pain rejoices of your death. No, Subaru would not be able to deal with something like that again.
Furthermore, Subaru couldn't afford to be so selfish. It took three deaths... no, less. With only one death it was enough to understand how weak he is compared to the people of that world, compared to Elsa. If he goes in place of Reinhard, all he can do is condemn Old Man Rom and Felt. And what will he gain if Reinhard finds Satella and tells her not to go near the Loot Cellar? Most likely, that just drives her to go there.
No, to follow that path would be to follow the path of pride, the path of envy; the envy he feels for beings like Elsa, with her enormous power and coldness, or Reinhard, who with his mere presence deals with the thieves who have already killed him once. So, the only option would be to be humbler and accept his limitations as the simple human that he is.
Thinking deeply about it, it's even likely that everyone's death was only due to his presence. The first death, he found the body of Old Man Rom, and that caused Elsa to kill him and Satella. The second time, Elsa murdered them for saying that he would return the insignia to Satella. And that made sense, Elsa in the first place was the one who hired Felt to steal the insignia.
Although, it is also very possible that Elsa murders everyone regardless of the result... For the same reason, the body of Old Man Rom was laying death in the Loot Cellar the first time around. And nothing is going to stop Satella from going for her insignia, that's for sure. So there is no way he, Natsuki Subaru, can prevent the death of Satella, Felt, and Old Man Rom. Satella... the girl who saved Subaru before his first death, the kind-hearted girl who doesn't accept that she has the weakness of needing to help anyone in trouble who crosses her path, regardless of whether she needs help herself.
Satella… From her reaction the last time he met her, it became clear that this was an alias. But why did she react so badly to that name? The people around him did too. So, chances are Satella, or as she put it, the Jealous Witch's name, was an alias that was meant to drive Subaru away. If the Jealous Witch can cause such a stir, to the point of being considered taboo, then there is no doubt that driving him away was the objective of "Satella".
So, recapping. Subaru is weak, unable to influence the fight against Elsa. "Satella" is not interested in being bothered by anyone, so she is willing to use a taboo as an alias; although of course, that is not useful against an ignorant like him. If he does nothing, the three people involved are most likely to die by the end of the day. And finally, in front of him is a man capable of scaring criminals with just his presence, Reinhard. No doubt…
"I need to accept my shortcomings and be humbler... I'm sorry, "Satella", but I can't be the one in charge of fulfilling the promise."
"Did you say something, Subaru?" Reinhard questioned him, bewildered.
"No, no... It's nothing." Subaru said, by then he had closed his eyes. After a moment, he opened them again, as he locked eyes with Reinhard, who was waiting attentively for what he was about to say. "Reinhard, this may be shameless of me, but I need to ask you for another favor."
"No problem, Subaru. If it is within my range of abilities, I will gladly do so." Radiating even more aura that conveyed confidence, Reinhard replied with a smile. Subaru, inwardly, cursed his own weakness; he cursed himself for not been as trustworthy as that man.
"I will be brief. There's a Loot Cellar, located deep in the ghetto, where stolen goods are stored. There, the sale of a stolen insignia is about to happen, and the buyer's a gut-obsessed killer named Elsa." Subaru could notice that the redhead's expression changed upon hearing Elsa's name, hi face took on a serious tone. "Does the name sound familiar to you?"
"Yes. She is a very dangerous person who usually works in the north, who is even known here in Lugunica. Can I trust the information you just gave me?"
"I can understand if you don't believe me. But on your doing so, depend the lives of three innocent people… Or at least one innocent girl. So, I beg you, go to that place and stop that despicable killer!" Swallowing his pride further, Subaru ducked his head, pleading for Reinhard to accept his request.
"You don't seem to be lying to me... Okay, Subaru, I will trust your word. Leave it to me, I will stop Elsa."
Subaru, without understanding very well, felt his cheeks begin to moisten, as he watched the knight of enormous mettle leave the alley. After a few minutes, he dropped on his knees. There was nothing more the weak Subaru could do anymore. If Reinhard were to fail against Elsa, then Subaru really would have run out of options.
"I leave everything in your hands... Save "Satella" for me, please. Fulfill the promise that I couldn't keep… Reinhard."
Soon after, Subaru left the alley and began to walk aimlessly. Seeing Subaru's condition, the apple man took pity on him and offered him a basket of fruit, that he could survive with for a while. Subaru refused, and instead decided to ask him if he knew of any merchant to whom he could sell his cell phone, which in that world was mistaken for an expensive "Metia."
With the money from the sale, exactly twenty-one sacred gold coins, Subaru managed to afford a room in a tavern. After a night in which he was unable to sleep due to the constant fear of being attacked, Subaru went in search of some craftsman interested in giving life to the ideas he brought from his world. Of course, Subaru was ignorant of the inner workings of most of them, so he would have to settle for giving life to the least complex to reproduce.
After several days of negotiations with multiple craftsmen, blacksmiths, tailors and merchants, Subaru began to lose hope in finding someone willing to work with him. It was then that he met Otto, a friendly merchant who knew an artisan who might be interested in a new business like his; this is how he met Leith, with whom he formed a commercial alliance to reinvent objects from his world.
