"Why are you always waiting for me to leave? To break up with you!?" Kaito shouted in frustration.

"Because it's the one constant in any relationship I have" Shinichi shouted back tearfully. "No matter what I do or how much I change, everybody leaves in the end"

"But Shinichi" Kaito whispered making his way over to him, having moved to the other side of the room during their shouting match "I love you. What makes you think people leave you if they love you?" he asked softly, heart breaking at the resigned look on his lovers face.

"Because I annoy them. I'm not… I'm not good at talking to people, I never know what to do or say. I miss social ques and tend to ramble and fidget. I'm only good at solving things so it's my go to topic, I'm comfortable with it. I don't feel so afraid when I'm sprouting off facts. But people don't see it that way, they think I'm rubbing my intelligence in their face, or they get fed up with me not being able to understand what they class as normal human interaction" he sniffed.

"But Shinichi, I've heard you talk about football and books, especially Holmes. That's a pretty standard thing to talk to your friends about" Kaito pointed out, trying to make sense of it all.

The detective gave him a sad worn out smile "When I was young, my parents tried everything to make it easier on me, so I could make friends, but nothing worked. I couldn't connect with my peers; couldn't understand why they didn't think the same way as me or saw things the way I do. I just couldn't enjoy the same mindless things as them. Eventually they got desperate and dad gave me a Sherlock Holmes book to read on one of my low days, said it was really popular and he was sure people would be able to talk to me about this if nothing else. I was so excited, finally I thought, I have something I can make friends with. I read every single book within the span of the week. I was really happy to know I liked it and since I took an interest it, it meant I had to know every little detail there was on the series, so then I researched it, learnt all there was to know and began to talk about it every chance I got" he gave a bitter laugh "Turns out my father was wrong, people don't actually like having in depth discussion on the series'"

"And the football?" Kaito whispered around the lump in his throat, not even sure he wanted to know the reason anymore.

"I saw some boys in my class playing it, it looked fun, especially when I was able to apply mathematics and physics to the game. I heard them talking about it in class a few days later. I was already an outcast by then, with only Ran and a very reluctant Sonoko talking to me when there weren't that many people around to witness it, I thought I had nothing left to lose and joined the team. By the time I was in middle school I had already been scouted professionally twice, once with Ran and another contacted my parents. It didn't take long for the team to learn and hate me for it. I was already years ahead of them academically, now I was being asked to play professionally all before I was in high school. In their eyes, I was showing them up. I quit the team as soon as I joined high school and just played on my own. I still love the game and it kinda gives me a chance to talk somewhat comfortably with people, but I've learnt that if I don't support the right team, then I might as well never open my mouth." He explained tiredly, that worn out smile dropping of his face, the energy it used to make it flagging.

"It's funny. I worked so hard to get people to like me, to be accepted and be treated as normal and all I ended up doing was isolating myself further. The only friend I have can't stand to listening to me talk half the time and the detective friends I have don't want to hang out unless it's for a case. In the end, I drove everyone away, even my parents." He laughed bitterly, whipping the tears out of his eyes. He didn't really know why he was laughing, just one of those learned behaviours he had stored up to appear more normal. To laugh in the face of tears because then maybe people wouldn't see the vulnerability in his words, wouldn't find something else to harass and hate him for.

"What do you mean? Your parents adore you" Kaito protested desperately, fervently hoping it didn't mean what he thought it meant.

Shinichi shook his head wearily "Kaito, they moved out and left me on my own a day after my fourteenth birthday. They said they didn't know what to do with me, that they didn't want to see me hurting anymore or feeling lonely. I didn't understand what they meant at the time. I didn't feel lonely, I had them. Then one day I wake up, there's no humming coming from my mother, no scratching of a pen on paper as my father wrote. The house didn't smell of my mums cooking, it was cold and empty. I did everything from that moment on to try and be the son they wanted, to have friends and be comfortable joking around. I got pretty good at the mask I crafted, but then I get comfortable and I forget how I'm supposed to act, and everything just falls down around me. I'm lucky I get a phone call once a month if that, usually from my mother so she can rant about father before hanging up."

"I had accepted the fact I was going to be alone, that I wouldn't have a normal relationship with the people I love. But then you came along with your sunny smile and easy disposition. You didn't seem to mind when I lost myself and rambled on about nothing. You didn't mind my heated debates on Sherlock Holmes or the latest scientific publishing. At one point I thought you were even proud of my skills as a detective and footballer. I was happy with our friendship and then you went and asked me out."

"I didn't know what to do. Here was this Angel who liked me as I was, offering to spend more time with me. I had never felt love like that before, to me it was a definition in a dictionary, something people used to be evil to others. You started getting closer, breaking down the wall I had put up to protect myself. Before I knew it, you had become everything I ever wanted, the only persons approval I sought. I didn't feel lonely anymore. It scares me Kaito. I don't know what is expected of me, I don't know how to make you happy or keep you beside me. It's not like I can ask anyone. I hear their whispers when they think I'm not listening, wondering how you put up with me or if there was something in it for you. So yeah, I'm always waiting for you to leave because I know at some point this fairy tale will end. If all my experience has taught me anything, it is that people don't like someone like me, and that prince charming only exists in the story books my mother read to me." He informed him cynically.

He'd tried, god had he tried to be what Kaito wanted, to be the "normal" human but he just couldn't do it. He'd spent months trying to gather data, research papers and statistics but nothing could be used, he couldn't apply any of it to their relationship. In the end he was left spiralling, drowning in a sea of black he just couldn't navigate because the information wasn't there!

He felt ashamed he had to admit this, angry at himself for failing, bitter in the fact he'd once again proved society right, that he couldn't be the same as them. But most of all, he felt heartbroken because he knew that now he'd owned up to his failings, had casted light upon his disgusting form to Kaito, that he would leave and no longer feel that love Shinichi had treasured so much.

His head dropped, no longer being able to stomach looking at the man who had successfully stolen the one thing he thought nobody could have, and it was all his fault for not being enough that he'd lost a piece of him that was so precious.

Kaito took a deep breath and swallowed back his tears. He had a better understanding to how the detectives mind worked now. Why he was so wary to get close, why he never stood too close or asked too much. Was always grateful for the smallest attention.

He'd had his suspicions of course, but he never had any solid proof to back up his claims. Oh, he heard the rumours alright. The ones that spoke of the detective as being heatless or merciless. Spoke of someone cold, who didn't care for the lives he saved. Told stories of a man who was obsessed with murder. Who was arrogant and detached.

Kaito had never believed them to be true, nor could he find the source of these slanders. He knew how kind and soft the detective was. How he cared too much for people who didn't care at all. He knew the arrogance was a mask to protect himself, that he wasn't obsessed with murder. He just wanted justice and couldn't resist a challenge.

He couldn't understand how they couldn't see just how sweet the boy was. How he was always eager to help and to please people. How he tried so hard to make those around him happy, disregarding his own happiness and health to do it. While it was true they saw his intellect, they didn't see just how brilliant it was. How quick he could pick things up and the ways his eyes sparkled when he figured something out. They didn't see the man who got excited by new things, who happily worked out every trick behind his magic but would only smile secretly to himself, still in awe and wonder of them, never sharing the tricks behind them with anyone. If that was someone who didn't care for those around him, then he really wanted to meet the person who started that bullshit because it couldn't be further from the truth even if they tried.

He'd known for a while the detective was lonely. He could see it in the stoop of his shoulder, in the shadow of his eyes. It was hard to miss the instant agreement he had to anything, the almost desperate acts he did to try and please his friends. How he longed for their praise but never seemed to get it.

That had always confused Kaito. How could someone look at Shinichi and be annoyed or even angry at him for trying to cheer them up? By speeding up the catching the criminal process so they could leave and do what they wanted, how could they look him in the eye and scold him, blame him for someone's death when all he wanted was to be acknowledged? How could they listen to his fascinating facts and rebuke him for them? Even when Kaito knew the facts the detective was sprouting was tailor made for them. Why else would the detective spend hours looking up how to make good luck talismans and where they originated from if it wasn't for Kazuha? Or how he knew the complete history of Kendo and took the time to learn the basics to try and connect with Hattori? And how could Ran, the girl who had grown up with the detective, not see that every story he told, every account he recounted was for her. To make her laugh and to make her feel apricated.

How could nobody see this!? And those that did how could they misunderstand?!

Kaito had also noticed alongside the ignorance, that Shinichi would stop mid word in a story, and nobody ever noticed. They never told him to keep talking or to apologise that they weren't listening. He just. Stopped. Talking. And. They. Carried. On. Regardless.

So the first chance he got, he'd introduced himself to the jittery detective. Pretending he didn't see the suspicion in those gorgeous eyes as they worked out exactly who he was. Their friendship was slow to grow. He could tell the detective was hiding, that he was only projecting what he thought Kaito wanted. It took a while but eventually the real Shinichi began to slip through, and he steadily fell in love.

Of course, there was moments where Shinichi frustrated him, like when he was late to something or forgot certain dates, but he understood the detectives mind was always working and he couldn't help when he got distracted. Hell, he knew he was guilty of the same fault when he got swamped with designing a new trick. The magician welcomed all his fault with open arms and tried to never hold the few he couldn't help being annoyed at against the detective. He thought they were fine, until Shinichi began getting distant again. Always agreeing to what Kaito wanted to do, even when the magician knew he would rather be doing something else.

It had upset him, all they had been through and suddenly it was like his boyfriend was a stranger again. That's how this fight – though rare to have- had started. Now a part of him wished he had never opened his mouth. Although a larger a part was grateful. Finally, he knew what had been bothering his lover and could start laying the groundwork, so he never felt this way again.

"Shinichi, I want you to listen carefully to what I have to say" He told him, tone serious, the usual playful natural evaporating. He stepped closer to the detective and cautiously pulled him into his arms, giving a silent sigh of relief when the other sagged against him, nuzzling into his neck. He'd been afraid the touch would have been too much. He'd always been an affectionate person, but for someone like Shinichi, who had very limited physical contact it was sometimes overbearing, even when it was obvious he really wanted to be held.

He'd gotten better over the last few months, even initiating some of the hand holding. He'd understood it was something he wasn't used to and would take time. Plus, it was adorable how shy and slightly hesitant he would be at first before throwing himself into it wholeheartedly, just like everything else he did. It became obvious the first few minuets into their meeting that Shinichi was touched starved, so Kaito had made a point of always touching him when Shinichi would allow it. And given the situation, he felt they both needed this hug.

Once Shinichi had settled into his arms and made a soft noise at the back of his throat Kaito continued.

"I'm not like most people, but I think you already know that" he smiled at the weak laugh he got "I don't care about other people's views. I'm only interested in yours. I love you the way you are. I don't want you to worry about if you're making me happy or any of that other crap. I don't expect anything from you." He told him seriously.

"Ran, your parents and everyone else that is now on my shit list was wrong to treat you that way. I love how your brain works, I love how shy you are. I also love that when it comes to talking to strangers you trust me to take the lead. So stop pulling away. I don't want you to change and try and make yourself up into this person you think I want. I don't." He pulled back, hands coming to cup Shinichi's face. The pad of his thumbs gently wiping the tears away as he looked into his eyes.

"And fuck everyone else. The important thing is that we talk about this stuff, okay? If you're feeling overwhelmed or are unsure about where you stand talk to me. I'd list every reason under the sun why exactly you belong with me. Although it will take the rest of my life to tell you every little thing, I love about you"

"I love you Shinichi, I really do. So please go back to my Shinichi, the one who holds heated debates with me about the latest's publishing. Who matches wit with me and isn't afraid to call me out on my bullshit. I want my Shinichi who will hold my hand out in public and isn't afraid who sees us. Who tries his best and cares too much for the people around him. The Shinichi that is shy but tries to move past it and enjoy the moments. Do you think I could have him back?" He asked softly, looking at Shinichi with hopeful eyes, giving a soft smile when the other nodded his head, a small smile of his own spreading across his lips.

"I'm all for you changing and growing into the person you want to be, but not at the expense of your own happiness. Just don't try and hide from me okay? We will grow together. No expectations needed." He promised firmly.

"Okay." Shinichi sniffed "I promise I will try and come to you when I don't feel great, but only if you promise stand beside me when I wobble" The detective stipulated.

"Darling, not even the gods themselves will be able to sperate me from your side. You've got me for life, no take backs. Pinkie promise" he held up his pinkie, giving a relieved laugh when Shinichi gave a wet giggle before wrapping his own pinkie around it.

"Good cause I don't think I could ever really let you go" the detective admitted softly, blushing at his admission. He still had no fucking clue what he was doing, still felt like Kaito could do better, but he no longer felt like he was drowning. Kaito was here with him, even though he now saw who Shinichi really was. He couldn't wrap his head around that fact. He was in awe of the being before him, the being who loved him. Never had he thought somebody would take him as he was and even prefer it to his masks! It was like a dream, a dream he wished never to wake up from.

"You think I'm an Angel?" Kaito teased good naturally, remembering his earlier comment, internally melting at the adorable confession. Now the serious talks were over for the moment, he wanted to make his darling smile, feeling like he hadn't seen it for so long and desperate to know if it was still there.

"No, you must have misheard me" Shinichi denied shaking his head vigorously, but he couldn't stop the smile and soft eyes the nickname brought up. Really in his mind Kaito would always be an angel, even if they had parted ways here, he never would have thought ill of him. He loved the magician too much, so he was positively over the moon to discover Kaito planned for them to be together for a very long time.

The little nickname had come about by accident but had somehow stuck. He'd just looked up one day and there Kaito was, wings of white and the sun as his halo, performing a magic trick for a little girl that had fallen and scrapped her knee. There was something so innocent and holy about the image that it had become a big part of how he saw the magician. Of course, he could still see his devil horns while he caused mischief, but those wings always remained. Becoming his very own personal guardian angel. Somebody who was always there when he turned around or looked up from his feet. Who held out his hand when he fell or gave a reassuring smile, even when he didn't need one. He was this little ball of sunshine that seemed to get bigger and brighter the longer he was in his presence, saving him from his dark, isolated world.

Some days he truly believes Kaito was an angel, that a god he couldn't reconcile believing in had sent him to him as a final lifeline. Maybe it was silly to give someone so much power in his mind, putting them on this ethereal pedestal but he'd always believed in the evidence set before him and he saw no reason to go back on that. Kaito is and always will be an angel, the world just hasn't seen it yet and Shinichi was blessed that he could and that he'd chosen to love and guard him.

He'd planned to never tell thief of this. It was a secret he intended to take with him to the grave but seeing Kaito like this. A smile so wide he though his face would split, eyes shimmer with delight and affection, he suddenly thought it would have been a travesty to deprive his angel of such a joy. In fact, he would go as far to say that he would have regretted never telling him. His angel should look like this always. He would say his silly nickname as many times in front of as many people if it meant Kaito would always be this happy with him.

"Nuh uh, you said I'm an Angel" Kaito grinned tightening his hold on Shinichi's waist as he playfully tried to pull away "I'm going to get that on a t-shirt"

"Shut up" Shinichi turned his head away to hide his blush, secretly planning to do just that. He couldn't wait to see their friends faces when Kaito wore a shirt that stated he was an Angel opposed to the Devil they all thought him to be, grinning at Kaito's laugh.

"Can this Angel have a kiss?" Kaito asked smiling handsomely, eyes shimmering in delight. Shinichi tried very hard not to melt at the look, but like every other time before that he ultimately failed.

"I dunno, can you?" Shinichi grinned mischievously, feeling lighter than he ever had. Giddy over the prospect that Kaito would never leave him.

"Ooh Mister Big Bad Detective is playing with fire if he thinks he can challenge this great Angel. I might just have to steal a kiss for that" He threatens jokingly, the pad of his thumb gently caressing the youngers cheek.

"You can't steal from the willing" Shinichi pointed out happily, winking when he saw interest light up in Kaito's dazzling eyes.

"So is that a yes?" The magician perked up, Shinichi imagined him having doggy ears standing to attention and a tail wagging. Learning closer until his breath was ghosting across the footballer's lips.

"Yes" Shinichi whispered, eyes darting down to those tempting lips, unable to stop the dopy smile from forming. Heart thudding in his chest. No matter how many times they kissed, Kaito never failed to stir up butterflies by being this close.

Their lips met in a soft embrace; Shinichi unable to stop the lovesick sigh from escaping. While it was true he was always waiting for somebody to leave, worried about how he was coming across and trying to be something he just wasn't. He suddenly found that very loud fear quieting when it came to Kaito. While he knew he'd never be a hundred percent certain the friends he'd made and would make would never leave him, something in Kaito's eyes made him feel certain that wouldn't happen when it came to the magician. He didn't know how he did it, whether it was by magic or simply in his never-ending trust and belief in Kaito, but he knew, even if science couldn't explain it, Kaito would never willingly walk away from him.

And he could say with certainty he would never walk away from him either.

Turns out Shinichi was seen as a freak to the world, an abnormality in society. Somebody nobody could understand or even wanted to, but to Kaito he was none of those things. He was Shinichi and for the first time ever he truly believed that being him was enough.