3Summary: Hope is kidnapped, but she's not worried. In which the Mikaelsons have watched too many Liam Neeson movies, Caroline is exasperated, and the kidnappers are confused. But really, it's just a typical day in the Mikaelson household. Or, the Taken-inspired AU that nobody asked for. Established Klaroline.
A/N: No Haley or Klaley. Hope is Caroline and Klaus' baby, and that's all you need to know for this humorous AU. Also, I don't own Taken, TVD, or TO. (Taken quotes in bold text.)
Family Movie Night
The van pulled up beside her one day as she was walking home from a quick trip to the store. Almost too quick for her to do anything about it, much to the dismay of her not-so-covert bodyguards trailing behind her at a respectful distance in an attempt to give her a measure of "privacy."
The doors to the van slid open and two men wearing ski masks jumped out, waving guns. One barked, "Get in!"
Flustered, she obeyed, giving her bewildered bodyguards a shrug before she hopped into the kidnappers' van.
Eh, her family would come for her soon enough.
It was movie night again at the Abattoir.
Nearly two decades ago, Caroline had instituted "mandatory weekly movie night" as a way to catch the Mikaelsons up on the times.
To nobody's surprise, the Mikaelsons unanimously agreed on yet another Liam Neeson film.
It had started off as an innocent prank one Christmas many years back, when Caroline gifted Kol a collector's set of the Taken films for his birthday. He loved it immensely, looped his entire family into it, and the obsession never went away.
(They even managed to invite – er, bribe his assistant into rearranging his schedule – Liam Neeson to the Abattoir a couple years back.)
Their favorite scene was about to start when they received the call.
"Call your rich daddy so we can set up a ransom." One of the kidnappers ordered as he shoved a cell phone at her.
Hope frowned and asked, "So… you don't know who I am?"
The kidnapper scoffed. "We don't keep track of who every rich kid is. You were just an obvious target with your expensive clothes – your bodyguards weren't discreet at all."
She obligingly typed out her dad's number and pressed the call button. He picked up after a couple rings, his voice suspicious as he asked, "And just who might you be?"
"Hey dad, it's me," Hope greeted. "So… I might have gotten myself into a situation…"
"Do the speech," Kol whispered.
Klaus nodded and recited, making his voice low and dangerous, "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you're looking for. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money."
"Bullshit!" One of the kidnappers yelled in response.
Klaus ignored him, continuing, "But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you."
The kidnappers scoffed over the phone.
"Wait," one of the kidnappers said. "Are you… are you seriously quoting Liam Neeson right now?"
Again, Klaus ignored him as he finished menacingly, despite the rather serene expression on his face, "But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."
At this point, Kol was curled up on the couch, silently laughing, one hand pressed to his stomach. Elijah sat on the armchair beside him with a look of exasperation on his face, even as his lips twitched with amusement.
"Dude!" One of the kidnappers shouted. "Are you seriously quoting Taken?! We have your daughter, she's our hostage, and you're quoting a movie at us?"
On the opposite end of the room, Freya rolled her eyes as she obligingly cast a tracking charm, checking for Hope's location on the map spread out in front of her. Beside her, Rebekah and Caroline stood with their arms crossed, identical looks of vexation on their faces.
"Well," Klaus responded thoughtfully. "We do have more money than we know what to do with. But I can also tell you mate, that you're way out of your league. I can promise you that we know where you are and you'll see us soon."
With that, he hung up and turned to his older sister expectantly.
Freya sighed. "Yes, Niklaus. She's about fifteen minutes past Bourbon Street in an abandoned apartment building. I already texted you the address."
Klaus grinned in respond, turning to his siblings as he said, "Brothers, sisters, shall we?"
"I thought you'd never ask!" Kol responded, jumping up from the couch.
The Mikaelson siblings returned home less than twenty minutes later with Hope in tow, perfectly intact and not a drop of blood on any of them.
"Hope Elizabeth Mikaelson, don't you dare do that again!" Caroline scolded, even as she rushed forward and hugged her daughter.
Hope grinned unapologetically. "Sorry mom. But you know how dad and Uncle Kol get. Plus, I knew that I'd be fine. I bet you weren't even worried."
"I'm always worried!" Caroline insisted.
"As you can see, love, she's fine," Klaus grinned.
"Do I want to know what you did to her kidnappers?" She responded dryly.
"Nothing to worry your pretty little head over, sweet Caroline!" Kol chirped cheerfully.
Beside him, Elijah and Rebekah kept their mouths shut, matching expressions of grim satisfaction on their faces.
Caroline sighed. "We're never watching Taken again."
FIN.
