7Well, I looked, and it seems like I'm the only person writing about Teen Titans Go! directly. Well, if the title wasn't obvious enough, I'm going to try to fix the show. Now whether I succeed or not doesn't really matter to me, but I do at least want to make it where both original fans and new fans like this because even though I'm nearing my 22nd birthday in two months and two weeks(?) time, I actually like TTG! because I'm still a little kid at heart. But if there's ever a time where reviews are important, it's now. If you have literally anything to say, please say it. I'm writing, but it's up to you on how well I can fix the show because I'm not pessimistic about the show and don't see things like this in a unbiased critical manner. I know it will be difficult, but I see this as a challenge, for me and you. Like a fanfiction version of climbing a mountain or grappling down a gorge. Now before we do begin, let's consider this a beta chapter, or chapter 0. This is just so I can hear those that think this is a good idea, what ideas could work or not, and create a chapter that's innocent enough before actually trying. Well, with that out of the way, let's begin. I don't own anything of Teen Titans.
Raven was watching tv. What was being advertised was rather... odd, to say the least.
"Hey you, you want to sleep but have no time to because you need to go somewhere? Well let us introduce you to the GoPillow!" What was displayed was basically four pillows in four colors with a stretchy strap. "With this, now you can finally sleep while going to work! Watch me for example!" The man happily volunteered as he attached the pillow to the back of his head, the strap on his forehead, and only got as far as the street off the driveway before another car crashed into him. A warning zoomed bottom to up from the screen with a fast forwarded voice.
"Warning: don't drive with your eyes closed. In memory of Don Earlman. Condolences to his family and friends. Only $19.99."
"Who'd be dumb enough to purchase that?" Raven asked rhetorically. From behind, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Robin came into the living room while Beast Boy was talking.
"...And I was like, zoom, whoosh, and a loop-de-loop, and I managed to pull that off while sleeping, dudes." He laughed as he took off his bright green GoPillow.
"Thank goodness you didn't decide to try that in traffic. You could've killed someone!" Cyborg pointed out chuckling as he lightly elbowed his short best friend.
"Yeah, but after watching that stunt performance, I could really go for a sandwich." Robin decided when his stomach growled. This got the two other male titans excited.
"Oh, yeah! I want a sandwich if you're making it, dude!" Beast Boy requested.
"Booyah! Give me some of that action as well!" Cyborg added.
"Three orders of legendary sandwich, coming right up." Robin obliged as he went into the kitchen to literally grab all the necessary ingredients from the fridge and throw them up into the air, neatly landing to make perfectly shaped sandwiches. "Extra meaty for Cyborg."
"Booyah!" He shouted as he chomped down on his.
"Vegetarian friendly for Beast Boy."
"That how I like it! Thanks!" He said gratefully before turning into a pig and horking it down.
"And a bit of both for me." The titan leader said to himself before going to the couch and the four of five titans watching tv. "So, what are you watching Raven?"
"Poorly thought out advertisements." She answered.
"If any one of us should be in a commercial, it should be Robin. You make the best sandwiches, bro." Cyborg complimented his leader. "You could run SubWay out of business!"
"Oh yeah. They got nothing on my sandwiches. Mine takes your taste buds on a flavor journey." He agreed. Beast Boy turned back from a pig and laid on his back licking his lips.
"A flavor journey worth a journey on its own!"
"Oh yeah, I'd crawl over a hundred miles of glass for this sandwich." Cyborg boasted, but Raven cut him off.
"Wouldn't that be easy with you metallic body which can't feel pain?"
"That's besides the point." He pouted.
I'd drive across the country in a car filled with Cyborg's B.O for his sandwich!" Beast Boy added.
"He doesn't have the body to make much of an odor."
"Ain't no mountain high enough to keep me away from this sandwich!" Cyborg tried again.
"Jet."
"Man, you sure know how to put a bummer on these things, Rave." Beast Boy complained.
"That's because for us, the only hard things are stuff beyond our capabilities, and there isn't a lot of that." Raven responded. "And besides, I'm sure with the right ingredients, I'm sure an actual legend of a sandwich can be made." Robin scoffed at her idea.
"Please, I don't just make legendary sandwiches, I am a legendary sandwich maker. Doesn't matter what it's made of so long as I make it."
"Then why don't we have sandwich making contest?" Beast Boy recommended, grinning from ear to ear. "All five of us making the exact same sandwiches from those ingredients Raven come come up with, and see whether Robin or Raven is correct or not! Winner gets to decide what movie to watch tonight!" Starfire came into the room with Silkie in her arms.
"Ooo, are we participating in something together? I thought I heard something of making witches made of the sand."
"Not witches from sand, Star. The classic BLT kind of stuff." Cyborg corrected her.
"No way a BLT will be legendary, even if the ingredients are top quality." Robin argued. "What's the ingredients we'll be using, Raven? I wouldn't want this to be an unfair challenge."
"Well, accounting for Beast Boy, there will be no meat, and no soy products so Cyborg doesn't complain. The ingredients will consist of pretzel bread, mozzarella cheese, lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, bell peppers, olives, pickles and honey mustard." Raven listed off.
"Now that sounds like a sandwich with flavor, even without meat." Cyborg admitted while licking his lips."
"Then what are we waiting for? Titans, GO!"
At the grocery store with the T-Car parked outside, the five titans were going over who should get what, with Raven splitting them off.
"Cyborg, you will fetch the mozzarella cheese and cucumbers."
"On it." He nodded as he walked off.
"Beast Boy, you will fetch the lettuce, pickles and honey mustard."
"I can dig it." He obliged as he ran to one of the carts and pushed it before jumping to ride on it, laughing all the while.
"Starfire, you'll be getting the tomatoes and bell peppers."
"I shall retrieve them." She agreed as she flew over the isles.
"Now you'll get the pizza bread while I find the olives."
"Fine." The two nodded and went their separate ways through the store.
Cyborg grabbed hold of the cucumbers after finding several blocks of mozzarella cheese when he spotted something peculiar. A girl with grey skin and pink hair.
"Jinx?! What are you doing here?" He questioned, turning his hand into a cannon. She turned towards the threatening voice and gasped.
"Cyborg? Wait, wait, truce!" Her white flag tactic confused the metallic teen.
"Truce? What for?"
"The hive and I are shopping, duh. You think evil doesn't need to eat?" She inquired skeptically.
"Well... no but... I would've thought you'd be robbing the place while getting the new PS4." He replied, lowering his arm.
"Please, for one, Gizmo would've already made something equivalent to a PS5, and second, if we tried robbing literally everything we go to, then jail would be our permanent home because of you guys and we're not going to do that all the time. They give you a bucket for a toilet for crying out loud!" The metahuman told off the hero irritated.
"Hey, hey, I get it. Look, as long as you guys don't do nothing, I won't fight you." He surrendered, somewhat embarrassed.
"Thank you." Jinx nodded yet still a bit annoyed as she walked off, leaving the cyborg wondering what just happened.
Beast Boy was having the time of his life, just cruising through the isles, grabbing whatever looked good. He already got what was assigned to him, but then he just kept getting more food. Microwave and oven pizza, popcorn, candy, soda, chips, ice cream, whatever that made for a good party. Unfortunately, he stacked the food so high he couldn't see where he was going, and thus crashed into something. The green titan yelped as he plowed through his snack tower and accidently pushed all of the food onto whatever he drove into. Trying to get up, he sputtered,
"Augh! Sorry dude, I totally wasn't..." He stopped talking when he saw that the thing he crashed into was none other than Mammoth, drenched in soda and ice cream that had burst upon impact. The changeling smiled nervously before Mammoth growled and raised a fist. Crying out in panic, he turned into a hummingbird and dodged before the brute's fist smashed into the cart, destroying the food cart. Flying away from the giant human, he reached the end of the isle before turning into a cheetah and ran right back to his attacker, getting ready to catch the speedy cat. But he was unprepared for the cheetah to leap and transform into a gorilla and deliver a dynamic punch to his face, sending his falling onto his back hard enough to crack the floor. While he was getting up, Mammoth wasn't expecting to see a horse's rear end that wound up kicking him in the groin. He crouched over in agony before Beast Boy followed up with two horseshoes in the forehead, knocking him out cold, his forehead having two U's. Upon returning to human, Beast Boy quipped, "Why the long face?" He chuckled to himself before looking back to the destroyed food and sighed sadly.
Starfire as acquired a bag of the tomatoes and bell peppers when she was caught in a green forcefield. She gasped before turning to see See-More. He chuckled to himself.
"Gizmo may have said don't engage the titans, but he didn't say anything about capturing them while their backs were turned. Now you're mine."
"I do not think so." She objected as the warrior focused all of her starbolts from her hands and eyes into one point; the direction of his eye. All that concentrated light energy rendered the ocular villain blind.
"Augh, you blinded my-!" He cried out before Starfire punched him out. She turned away angrily scoffing before going back to her dropped groceries and floating away.
Raven found the part of the store where they had olives, but also a bunch of Billy Numerous clones making a racket with all their shenanigans and hootnanny levels of playing around. The sorceress snapped her fingers to make all but one to remain by opening a portal under each clone to fall through with a unified shout. The one remaining stayed still and stayed quiet as she got her olives and left. He sighed in a bit of relief before returning back to his one self, but unfortunately, that one wasn't him. The real one was in a jail cell, scowling from getting in there from just having some grocery fun. By the time the titans all found Robin, they found him chatting with Gizmo while carrying his bread to the checkout.
"Dude, why are you hanging out with Gizmo?!" Beast Boy questioned.
"Oh, I was going to beat him up, but he said truce and how about they weren't doing anything evil at the moment. So I told him, "Fine, but if you even so much as litter, you're going down." Gizmo nodded in agreement to what he said. The other four titans looked around all the sudden shifty and nervous like, least of all Raven, before she rapidly spoke,
"Oh, that sounds nice, oh, look at the time, got to go home." She then threw some random money at the employee working on the cash register. "Here's your money, bye." And with that, Raven teleported the titans and the T-Car back home.
"What was that all about?" Jinx came up and asked her leader, only seeing about the last part of what happened.
"Who knows, and I don't care. Good riddance to those snot-munchers." The little kid shrugged before police sirens came to the store. It was then that they happened to see the tv screen showing various parts of the store where two of their teammates were beaten and Billy was gone. "Ugh, those titans!" Gizmo screamed in a tantrum.
Back at the tower, the titans have all of the ingredients they had to make five sandwiches each.
"Now it's time to show you all how a master makes a legendary sandwich. Titan's, COOK!" Minute 1. Robin set all of his bread in a single line, sword in hand. With a single swipe, the Boy Wonder nearly sliced through all of them, allowing only enough to pull open instead of having ten pieces of bread. Minute 2. Raven was focusing her magic on her lettuce, cucumbers, pickles, tomatoes and bell peppers before splitting them apart in nice even slices to lay perfectly on the bread. Minute 3. Starfire was spending the time to squirt about one fifth of the entire honey mustard bottle into her sandwiches, before sucking up the rest to enjoy the sweetness. Minute 4. Beast Boy, wearing a hair net, sliced and diced his cheese with tiger claws, providing him plenty of thin cheese to lay. Minute 5. Once all the sandwiches were made, Cyborg placed all 25 sandwiches into the biggest oven they had in the tower, set the oven to heat setting 2, and turned it on. The inside of the oven burst into flame, looking like the inside of the sun for 5 seconds before turning off, making a cheery ding noise. Cyborg took out the sandwiches, roasted to perfection.
The titans sat around the table with the 25 sandwiches set aside on the counter. Robin was dressed as a waiter.
"Titans, we're going to have our first sandwich contest. As Beast Boy said, whoever wins will get the right of choosing tonight's movie. I'll save mine for last because that's what you do with the best." He boasted, making the others roll their eyes. "First is Cyborg's." With that, he presented them the metal man's dish that looked pretty good enough. They each all took a bite, smiles growing on their faces, but then frowning upon further tasting.
"I don't know. It tastes somewhat metallic." Beast Boy critiqued.
"You used your body, didn't you?" Raven asked the metal titan, whom had to hide a blender for a hand behind his back.
"Maybe." He said, looking away.
"Disqualified." Robin ruled out. Cyborg pouted.
"Next up is Beast Boy." Biting into his sandwiches, all but Beast Boy noticed something wrong immediately and pulled out a few green hairs from their mouths. Robin looked at the youngest member annoyed. "Seriously?"
"Aww come on! I wore a hair net!" He pointed towards his head.
"But not the rest of your body. Disqualified!" Beast Boy turned into a puppy, giving him the sad eyes.
"Next is Starfire." However, something that even the titans could see was wrong is that there was a lot of yellow.
"Starfire, how much honey mustard did you put in this?" The green shapeshifter asked the alien princess.
"About 1/5 of the bottle into each."
"Unfortunately Star, that is way too much for a sandwich. Disqualified." Robin ruled out, causing her to slightly cry. Not wanting to see her cry, he quickly added, "But we will try anyway, because we know you wanted to make our that much sweeter." The others nodded sympathetically, helping her smile even with the sad eyes. They each took a bite, admittedly smaller bites then normal, but still tasted the overload of the sweet honey flavored condiment.
"Well, at least I have a sweet tooth. Nice job, Starfire." Beast Boy complimented her. She giggled in response.
"Thank you, friend Beast Boy."
"Now for Raven's." When they each took a bite, all but Robin hummed from deliciousness.
"Oh man! All the vegetables and cheese; they have the perfect placement and amount! Booyah!" Cyborg praised.
"There's not a single imperfection with the cheese slices." Beast Boy observed opening his.
"The tastes are all so wonderful." Starfire stated as she eagerly ate more of her sandwich. Raven slightly smiled to their compliments.
"It does certainly taste better than the average sandwich, but there's no doubt I'm going to win. Now for my-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" What happened was that for Robin's sandwiches, Silkie ate his five, having chomped down on the last one by the time they noticed before the silkworm grumbled and threw up, his work ruined.
"Huh, guess Silkie didn't like his sandwich." With mischievous smiles, all the other titans held up cards that respectively showed,
"Dis/qua/lif/ied!"
"No! I am a legendary sandwich maker! Silkie wasn't even part of the tasting group!" He tried defending, but Raven somewhat smugly shut him down.
"If a self-aware bug doesn't like your food, then you're not legendary. That now makes me the legendary sandwich maker. And since I'm the winner, we're going to watch Good Will Hunting." The other titans cheered as they rushed into the living room, leaving a depressed Robin as he followed.
So, what do you think? I put a lot of thought and effort into this to make it feel more... down to Earth, in lack of better terms? I'm eliminating everything wrong with TTG!. The titans will be nicer, there will be character development... or at least their characters won't be stagnant, better continuity, good lessons... maybe even ones that are rarely spoken, more action if I can, and etc. Tell me how I did on this, and tell me what I should do to fix the episode; Pie Bros. Finally, what episodes should I avoid? What are so bad that they are unfixable? I mean, some are just rotten to the core with no chance of saving. Let me know in the reviews below.
