3Disclaimer: I do not own Game Of Thrones. If I did, Jon wouldn't have got that shit ending to his story. Everything you may recognize belongs to HBO.
Jon had watched from afar as Lady Catelyn Stark tended to two of her children. Sansa and Robb had been playing a game and Sansa managed to trip and scrap up her knee. Robb had managed to scrap his elbow, but he was more concerned for his sister at the moment. Catelyn bandaged it up and then placed a kiss on top of it, causing a small smile to appear on the red haired girl's face. When Catelyn finished, she then went to tend to Robb. Jon couldn't help but watch and be envious. The way Catelyn tended and comforted her children whenever they were hurt or ill. Jon had been hurt himself a number of times, but he knew better. Catelyn wouldn't treat a cut on his arm the same as she would for Robb, Sansa, Arya, or Bran. Catelyn did not treat him remotely the same.
For as long as he could remember, Catelyn has not been fond of him. She was an honest woman and she had made it clear that she wasn't happy with him being around. Jon noticed she always seemed upset or angry whenever he'd come around. Jon always wondered what he did to make her hate him so much. So much so that he tried to change her mind and make her happy, just like he had seen his siblings do. But it did not go well.
"Father, why does Lady Stark hates me so much?" Seven year old Jon asked his father one night.
"She doesn't hate you." Ned tried to reassure. Though he knew that wasn't entirely true. Ned knew that Catelyn resented Jon, that it reminded her of his betrayal. She found it difficult to look at Jon, let alone interact with him; even as a young babe.
"Are you sure?" Jon didn't seem to believe his father's attempts at reassurance. "She always looks cross with me." Jon wished he knew what he had done wrong.
"It's not you," Ned could say this very honestly. "It's me."
"What do you mean?" Jon was smart, but that confused him. It didn't make sense to him why Catelyn would act the way she does to him when she was angry or upset with his father.
"She's upset with me, not you," Ned tried to explain so the seven year old understand. But also, without telling him too much. "I made a choice, a long time ago, and she's still upset with me because of that decision." Ned did what he had to back when he first brought that baby to Winterfell with him. He had kept his promise to someone very important to him; that much he didn't regret. He had promised to protect Jon from harm because of that promise, but in doing so it seemed to have burdened him with something else entirely.
"Did you say 'sorry'?" Jon asked innocently as Ned placed him in bed for the night.
Ned chuckled, slightly. "I did," And though she had forgiven him, she knew she hadn't entirely. Ned knew Catelyn saw Jon as a constant reminder. "But sometimes, sorry isn't enough."
"Do you think it would help if I said 'sorry' too?" Jon asked. "I just want her to like me."
Ned didn't know what to say to that. "Get some sleep, alright?" He kissed Jon on the forehead and then left him to sleep. He then kissed his other children goodnight before joining his wife in their bedroom. As he entered, he could hear her whispering something.
"Please take him away," Ned stood there quietly, carefully listening. "Make him die."
When Catelyn opened her eyes, finishing the prayer, she noticed Ned and he couldn't say a word. He saw the guilt and pain written on her face, realizing she had been overheard. The only thing he could do in response was frown and then lay beside her in bed. He knew what the prayer was about. And it only made what Jon had said to him tonight, more devastating.
The next day Jon was out in the yard with Robb. Sansa and Arya were both inside today and Robb thought it they could have more fun since Sansa didn't like to get dirty. But Jon did not feel like playing. He felt horrible since this morning and with every passing minute it only seemed to worsen. Even standing on his two feet felt like a battle.
"Jon!" Robb said loudly, so much so that it made Jon's head spin more than it had been already. "Why are you so slow today?" Robb thought it was odd since Jon usually was faster and more energetic. And then Robb caught a glimpse his younger half-brother's face, which caused him to frown. "Are you okay?"
"I don't feel good." Jon admitted, his voice coming out soft, only slightly louder than a whisper.
"Should I go tell somebody?" Robb figured if he was feeling ill, he should get someone to help. Maybe then he would feel better.
"No," Jon quickly shook his head. He didn't want him to do that. He especially didn't want him to bother Catelyn with this. Jon knew that's what his brother would do. "I'm okay," Jon took in a deep breath, but he found his chest hurting as he took in the breath. "Lets play."
"Are you sure?" Robb was worried now. And he had said he hadn't felt good not even a moment before.
"Yeah, lets…" Jon's voice trailed off as he became dizzy as he attempted to run. He only managed to go a few steps before collapsing.
Robb ran over and shook Jon twice, shouting his name. When he didn't respond, that's when Robb felt really scared. He looked around and didn't see anybody around. "Help!" He yelled as loud as he could and then when he saw no one coming, he ran inside to look for his mother. "Help!"
"What's wrong, my darling?" Catelyn crouched down to the six year old when he came rushing in.
"It's Jon," Robb grabbed his mother's arms and attempted to pull her outside. "I think he's sick." He knew there was something wrong. "He was talking and then he fell over and now he won't wake up!"
This concerned Catelyn and she allowed Robb to lead her outside to where Robb had left Jon on the grounds. She crouched down and couldn't get a response either. "Jon?" She called as she gave him a gentle shake, but no response other than a small groan. She then pulled down the collar of his shirt and then noticed a rash.
"What's wrong with him?" Tears were streaming down Robb's face. "Is he okay?"
"I don't know," Catelyn knew what this was, but she didn't know what would happen. All she knew was that she needed to get him to the healers. "But we're going to help him." Catelyn took the limp boy in her arms and then rushed off to the healer's, placing him on a cot so they could look him over. And it turned out to be as worse as Catelyn had suspected from that rash. She had seen it before but she had hoped she was wrong. "Is it the pox?"
"It is." The healer confirmed.
"What can you do?"
"There is nothing I can do," He answered. "All we can do is keep him comfortable." They had a supply of medicines, but none that would be able to cure this illness. "He may not make it through the night."
"Are you saying he's going to die?" Catelyn asked, looking down at Jon, whom laid on his side unconscious. "There has to be something you can do."
"All we can do is wait," He wished there was more they could do. But there wasn't. "If manages to make it through the night, then he will live." There was a chance that he could survive, but the odds weren't great. He had seen more people die from the pox than live. "And it is going to be a very long night for him."
Catelyn brought Jon back from the healers and placed him in bed. As she did so, Robb had attempted to come in to ask about him. She couldn't give him answer other than she was going to take care of him. She would stay with him the entire night if need be. She pulled up a chair so she could sit by his bedside with him and then sent Robb away, not wanting him to catch it.
Jon started to wake up after Catelyn had sat with him for nearly three hours. "L-Lady Stark?" Jon's voice was low and hoarse and his eyes were only open a crack.
"Shhh," Catelyn shushed him. "I brought you inside."
"I'm sorry." Jon wanted to apologize. He knew she shouldn't have had to do that. If only he had been stronger.
"You have nothing to apologize for." Catelyn knew he couldn't help feeling ill. Especially since she knew how awful this disease was.
"Did I scare Robb?" Jon asked he broke into a harsh coughing fit.
"He'll be okay," Catelyn reassured. She knew once Jon felt better and saw that, Robb would be just fine. "Right now my concern is you." Catelyn never would have thought a day would come where she would be more concerned over her husband's bastard son over her other children.
Jon was surprised to hear Catelyn say that. He was going to ask another question, but then was hit with another coughing fit which caused his chest to burn. He struggled to catch his breath. He shut his eyes and began to whimper from the burning pain in his chest.
"Just rest," Catelyn soothed softly and Jon shut his eyes, feeling too horrible to argue with Lady Stark. "I'll be here."
Jon feel in and out of consciousness, waking up to a harsh coughing fit. His fever seemed to stay high and his chest continued to burn. Listening to his struggles to breath and coughing felt like torture. At points, it became hard for her to watch, but Catelyn could not bare to leave him.
When it got dark, Catelyn left his side only momentarily to light some candles. And then she began to pray softly. Every time he coughed and cried, she was hit with a massive wave of guilt. More than she could comprehend. She remembered praying that the gods would take Jon away so she wouldn't have to look at him and get the constant reminder of Ned's unfaithfulness. She wanted him to die so she could be spared that pain. She didn't believe in coincidences and now that Jon had this illness, she felt great shame for herself. Had she condemned a child to a slow horrible death? And for what? Because she was jealous of his mother—a woman he didn't know. Because she was angry at something her husband did. Jon was only a little younger than her oldest and she had been very cruel to him since the day Ned had brought him home.
Catelyn realized then in that moment that she was a horrible woman. So she started to pray, not wanting Jon to die because of her weakness.
"Please spare him," Catelyn pleaded to all the gods. "Let him live." She looked back to make sure he was still asleep. "If he lives, I'll be a mother to him. I'll love him and I'll beg Ned to give him the Stark name. Just please let him live."
When Catelyn looked up, she noticed Ned in the doorway.
"That's a change from the other night," He commented as she stood and then sat back over by Jon's beside. Ned shut the door and then put an arm on her shoulder. "Cat, I'm sorry."
"I know you heard me the other night," Catelyn looked up at her husband. "I don't think you're the one that needs to beg for forgiveness."
"Actually, I think do."
"I prayed for a child to die, Ned." Catelyn knew that was a horrendous thing to say about any child. And this one may not be hers, but it belonged to Ned.
"Because I lied to you."
"What?" Catelyn didn't understand.
"He's not my son." Ned said, his voice in a low whisper.
"What?!" Catelyn practically yelled, only to be shushed by Ned in response. She took a breath and lowered her voice. "What do you mean? Jon isn't your son?" Catelyn wanted to make sure she got this right. Ned shook his head. "Then," She looked over at the sleeping boy. "Whose is he?"
"Lyanna's."
"Your sister?" She felt confused.
"When I went away, I found Lyanna in a tower in Dorne where she died." Ned began to explain. "She died from childbirth." Ned looked over at Jon. "She told me his name was Aegon Targaryen and that I had to protect him or else Robert will kill him."
"And he would." Catelyn started to understand.
"On her deathbed, I promised her I would protect her son and I thought this would be the best way."
"By lying to me?" Catelyn felt overwhelmed by more guilt. She had treated Jon so harshly because she had believed the lies about Jon being his son. All she could see was betrayal when he looked at him.
"Cat, we were barely married," Ned sighed. "And at the time, I wasn't sure how well you'd keep the secret." It had been a hard choice to make. "I couldn't risk his life. So I did what I thought I had to."
"What made you change your mind now?" Catelyn was curious. Why not in the last few years? She hadn't changed in how she treated Jon.
"Because Jon asked me why you hated him," Ned answered. "And I didn't know what to tell him."
"I did," Catelyn felt horrible for it, especially now. "Because all I could see was what you did and some woman you refused to talk about." It had been a mix of jealousy and pain. She had known it wasn't fair to project that onto Jon, but she couldn't help herself.
"I heard you pray just now." Catelyn nodded. "Did you mean it?"
"I did," Catelyn had meant it, for as long as the gods spared him a horrible death. "He doesn't deserve this."
"I meant about giving him the Stark name."
"Well, I certainly see no reason not to now." Catelyn went over to Jon's beside and then leaned over him, smiling slightly. "And I'll be a mother to him."
And when Jon Snow got better, Catelyn kept her word on those promises. And no longer was he Ned Stark's bastard, but he became their legitimized son, Jon Stark. And Catelyn became a mother to him; and loved him.
A/N: I finished the series yesterday and I honestly see why the world was disappointed. But anyways, I had to write something with my favorite character. He deserved so much better from that finale as well as his treatment growing up. If only Catelyn had known. And I always manage to get a story up on my birthday so here we go!
Please don't forget to review.
