1For my darling Ari
Word Count: 1006
No betas; we die like men
"Where are you off to in such a rush?"
Piers skids to a stop, hand on the door. "Have you seen the time?" he asks. It isn't late, of course. Piers' anxiety always ensures that he leaves much earlier than necessary. "I've got to run."
His cousin stands in the doorway to the dining room, brows raised. "You need to slow down. I've made breakfast," Max says
Piers feels his stomach knot, just a touch of guilt. Ever since his cousin took him in a lifetime ago, this has been their tradition. The first day of school always meant sitting down to breakfast together. It had lasted into his time in university, and now it looks like Max intends to carry it on through law school. Hell, Piers suspects that whenever he finally moves out, Max will still set a place for him on the first day of school.
Piers follows his cousin, smiling when he sees food arranged over the cinnamon-and-cream striped tablecloth. Eggs, sausages, toast, bacon, and fresh, sliced strawberries. Piers often wonders how he got so lucky, how someone like Max could end up in his life.
"I didn't deserve this," he whispers, tugging at the sleeve of his navy blazer. "You didn't have to do this for me."
Max just smiles that smile that lets Piers know how loved he is. Neither speak at first as they sit down and fix their plates. Piers finds himself smiling. These are the best days, the days where time doesn't matter, and he can just relax.
"Look at you," Max says with a sigh, breaking the silence between them. "My cousin, the lawyer."
Piers snorts, eyes rolling. "I'm not a lawyer. Just a law student."
But it's a big deal, even if he doesn't act like it. There had been a time when he never would have dreamt of this being possible. Once, a lifetime ago, he had believed himself to be a lost cause. A little too rough, a little too angry, never good enough, never smart enough, never enough.
Here he is. It's all thanks to Max. His cousin had taken him. He had seen the damage and trauma, and he had decided that Piers was worth saving, that he could give Piers a fighting chance. What would have happened if Piers had ended up bouncing around from foster home to foster home after his parents died? He imagines there would have been more abuse, more fear, more pain, more devastation.
But Max has been there, always so patient and kind. From the moment Piers showed up, trembling and scared, covered in scars and bruises, to the grinning, confident adult he is now, Max has loved him and pushed him through. They have laid down their roots, started their own traditions, and lived their lives as a family.
"Are you okay?" Max asks. "You look like you're about to cry."
Piers blinks, confused. He must have gotten so lost in thought that he zoned out. His eyes flicker to the clock on the wall. "I'm fine."
"Take your time. There's no need to hurry." There's a brief moment of silence, and then, "Isn't this exciting? Are you nervous?"
Piers laughs, the sound high-pitched and tense, betraying the anxiety that he feels. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. As he exhales, he opens them again. "I keep worrying that… I dunno. It's not enough. I'm an imposter, you know?"
He lifts the toast, nibbling the crust. "I can play a part, but does it really change anything? I'm not from money like some of these people are. I spent my youth running the streets, not going to these posh gatherings and rubbing elbows with important people."
Speaking the words aloud fills him with a sense of relief. He's held these feelings inside for so long, but now they're out there, and it feels so good.
"Do you know why you belong there?" Max asks.
Piers shakes his head
"Because you have seen it firsthand. You know what it feels like to be the punk kid people think is nothing but trouble," Max says.
Piers bites the inside of his cheek. To be fair, he had been nothing but trouble in those days. He and his friends had roamed the streets with their stolen cigarettes and liquor bottles, looking for something to get into.
There had been plenty of run-ins with the law. Max had been there, ready to rescue him, always so sure that it was worth it. Piers hadn't always been able to see it; truth be told, he still doesn't quite believe that he's worth it at all. Still, Max believes in him.
"You actually care about the work you want to do," his cousin continues. "Maybe some of your other classmates do. Others care about impressing their parents, or about the money they're going to make."
Piers smiles at that. Maybe Max is right. Maybe this is the moment that every choice has been leading to. Maybe it will be worth it in the end.
"I really have to go," Piers says softly, climbing to his feet.
Max nods. "And so it begins," he says, grinning. "You're going to be amazing, Piers."
Piers nods. He still has his doubts, but his cousin's encouragement is all he needs. He can do this because Max believes in him.
"Don't forget we're doing pizza tonight," Max adds.
"Another family tradition."
"Damn right."
Piers gathers his things with a renewed sense of purpose. This is a new chapter in his life, and these are his first steps. He is still more nervous than he will ever admit, but he thinks that maybe it's going to be okay.
"I've got this," Piers says, and Max offers him a thumbs up for confirmation.
With that, Piers walks away. Each step fills him with a fresh wave of anxiety, but it's okay. Max believes in him, even when he can't believe in himself. He's going to get through the day, and everything will be great.
