107Before we jump in, I do want to give a heads up. This first chapter discusses the events of Season 5 Episode 1 when a bullet fired by Jay goes through an offender and kills a little girl, Morgan. I realize this was a hard episode to watch and for that reason, I am giving the heads up in the author's note so that you can turn away if you want to. This is in absolutely no way meant to be any kind of statement, this is just a rewrite of the original episode.
I am in no way an expert on police reform or politics and I would not attempt to convince or influence your beliefs through my fanfiction writing.
Once again, I have to say thank you for taking a moment to read. This story will be multichapter and A/U but follow the cases that Intelligence work through season 5 and part of 6. I have been working on this for a few weeks and I am excited to finally share. Unfortunately, I will not be able to update as often as I normally do, so I hope the longer chapters makes up for this. Thanks to the Let's Talk Upstead group chat on tumblr for the support and thanks to Leigh0723 for doing the beta reading!
Hailey would normally be annoyed that the tv in the Robbery/Homicide bullpen was on. She preferred to do her work with as little background noise as possible. However, the past few days had been but normal. A few days ago, a unit she had worked with made the news due to an officer involved shooting. A little girl, Morgan, sadly had been caught in the crossfire of a gun bust gone wrong and died. She was shocked to hear the officer involved was Jay Halstead. Hailey, as well as the city of Chicago, were glued to the news waiting for updates.
She had only worked with Jay for a few days, but it was enough to see what kind of cop he was. She quickly realized he was the guy you would want next to you in a high stress situation like a shootout. If she had joined Intelligence, she would have hoped to be partnered with him.
Hailey wanted to reach out to Jay, but she wasn't sure he would take her calls. On the one hand, being responsible for the death of a child was devasting and she knew he would need a friend. On the other hand, she was hardly a friend of Jay's. She was someone that worked a case with Intelligence a couple of weeks ago.
She could have been a friend, if she had taken the spot that was offered on the team by Voight. But she wasn't ready, and she knew it. She was aware they did a lot of undercover work, and she had still not recovered from the last undercover operation she did. She still struggled to deal with the emotional trauma the assignment had left her with.
She couldn't shake the nerves that thinking about it brought up, and that was enough to make her turn down the offer. How could she expect a team to trust her when she wasn't sure she could trust herself not to freak out if things went wrong.
Even though she knew he had a team he could lean on, she also knew that he had recently lost his partner to the FBI. She stared at her blank computer screen as she listened to the newscaster in the background discussing the case. She remembered what it was like for herself when she was involved in an officer involved shooting. The looks you get from other cops, the guilt you feel during every waking moment, the nightmares that come nightly. After a little bit of back and forth, she made up her mind and dialed the number to the 21st District.
"21st this is Sgt. Platt." The voice that answered the phone stated.
"Sgt. Platt. This is Detective Upton, Robbery/Homicide." She said a little unsure of if the sergeant would remember her.
"Hailey! What can I do for you?" Trudy asked, excited to hear from the detective again. While initially she had not made the best first impression on the sergeant, Trudy had warmed up to Hailey when she recounted their history together. She gave Hailey her card and told her to call if she ever needed help with anything personal or professional.
"Hey Trudy." Hailey said relieved. "I was calling" she started before pausing. She kicked herself for not thinking of what to say before she called. "I was hoping to speak to Halstead." She finally spit out.
"Halstead?" Trudy asked.
"Ya. I uh" Hailey could feel her cheeks turning red "I wanted to see how he was doing. I heard about the shooting." She said as she rubbed her temples. "I just wanted to reach out."
"He's not here." Trudy said as she let out a deep sigh. "He's been sent home until the investigation is done."
"I see." Hailey said with disappointment.
"Is this your cell?" Trudy followed up as she fumbled through her own phone.
"Yes, this is my cell phone." She responded as she heard a shuffling sound on the other end.
"I sent you his number." Trudy said as Hailey let out a breath of relief.
"Thank you, sergeant. I appreciate it."
"Hailey?" Trudy said hoping to catch Hailey before she hung up.
"Ya?"
"He needs a friend." Trudy said as she hung up.
Hailey nodded to herself as she hung up her end. He needs a friend. The sentence resonated with her. Did he not have any? She did not see his unit turning their backs on him. Was there more to the story than she was seeing? Could the loss of his partner be the reason Platt thought he needed a friend?
Hailey put the phone number into her phone and started typing out a text.
Hey, this is Hailey… (Delete, delete, delete)
Nope. That wouldn't work. No guarantee he would remember her.
Hello, this is Detective Upton from robbery…(Delete, delete, delete)
That sounded like the beginning of an official call.
Hi Jay. This is Upton. You know, the one that spilled coffee on Platt. (Delete, delete, delete)
With a deep sigh, she set her phone down and laid her head in her hands. She didn't know what was bothering her today; why she couldn't find the words to say I'm here if you need a friend. She picked up the phone and decided no matter what popped up on her screen, she was sending it. She let her fingers take over and without rereading what she wrote, she sent it. She set her phone face down on her desk and went back to work.
Jay was sitting in his truck in the hospital parking lot when he heard his phone ding. He had driven around Chicago for a couple of hours after being sent home by Voight. He was trying to clear his mind, but it wasn't working. He tried calling Erin, knowing she wouldn't answer, but hoping maybe this time she would. Ultimately, he ended up at the hospital again, hoping Will would be available for a quick talk. He was just about to get out to look for his brother when he heard his phone.
He thought for sure it would be Will responding to the earlier text saying he was stopping by. Instead, it was an unknown number with an unexpected message.
Hey Jay. This is Hailey Upton, we worked the Lavar Spann case together a couple of weeks ago. I was just reaching out to let you know I am sorry about the shooting. I know Intelligence has your back but if there is anything I can do or anything you need; this is my number.
Jay blinked a few times as he reread the text over and over. He remembered Hailey, even though they only worked the one case together. He was surprised to hear from her, but not at all disappointed. He chuckled at the thought he could have forgotten her after the way she kicked Hank out of the initial crime scene. As Jay typed out a response, he realized it was the first time he had smiled since the gun bust went terribly wrong.
Thanks Hailey. I appreciate it.
After Jay's response, Hailey continued to follow the investigation. She checked in with Platt to find to see if they had heard anything. She called Voight to find out if Jay needed character witnesses. She was about to reach out to Jay again when her phone lit up with a new message.
I'm cleared. Ballistics came back, bullet travelled through offender then went through the door and hit Morgan. Alderman Price invited me to a press conference to announce it.
That is such a relief Jay. I am happy to hear the news. Hailey typed after letting a deep sigh of relief.
Doesn't change the fact that I am responsible for her death.
Jay was taken back by his text. His guilt had been eating him alive, but he had not shared it with anyone except Will. Had he really revealed that much to someone who was practically a stranger?
It could have happened to any cop in that situation Jay. It was a cruel twist of fate that carried the bullet through the door. What are the details for the press conference?
3 pm at the community center in Morgan's neighborhood.
Hailey looked at her clock. It was already 2 and she still had a ton of work to do.
I am going to try my hardest to be there.
Jay once again felt a smile grow on his face. It was a small one, but it was the first one he had since the last time he spoke with Hailey. Not even news of the investigation clearing him had been able to make him smile. They proved he did not purposely or recklessly kill Morgan, but he was still the one responsible for her death. It was still a burden he would have to carry.
Jay wanted to tell Hailey not to worry about it, but truth be told, he could use someone in his corner for the conference. He wasn't sure what to expect so knowing he had a least one other person there supporting him made him feel better.
By the time Hailey got to the front of the community center, the press conference had already ended. She looked around at the scattering crowd and spotted a familiar figure. She ran to catch up to Jay not wanting to miss him.
"Hey!" She yelled as she got closer.
"Hey." Jay called out as he turned towards her voice.
"Sorry. I got here as fast as I could. It's over?" She asked keeping her eyes glued to his face as they walked across the street.
"Yeah, just ended."
"How'd it go?"
"It was good." Jay said while letting out a sigh. "Really good actually. Price was very gracious." He said with a confused look on his face. He stopped in front of his truck and when he turned to see Hailey smiling at the news, he couldn't help but smile back. "I'm not really sure what prompted all this, but—"
"Hey, take yes for an answer." Hailey said with a shoulder shrug and smile.
He wasn't sure why she was going out of her way to reach out to him, but he appreciated it. They stood there for a few seconds just looking at each other, each one feeling at ease with silence, before Hailey finally broke it.
"If there is anything you need, please let me know." She said with a kind smile.
Jay nodded in response and was able to muster a small smile for the detective he hardly knows.
"I'll be ok eventually. I think I just gotta make sense of it all."
"Yeah." Hailey said as she looked away. "It's tough. Trust me." Jay noted the sad smile on Hailey's face and the way she folded her arms across her chest. He realized then why she had been reaching out.
"Have you…" Jay couldn't bring himself to finish the question. He didn't need to; Hailey understood exactly what he was asking.
"Yeah." She said as she tilted her head and nodded slowly. She didn't know what prompted her to answer, it was not something she ever talked about and not something she wanted people to know. "Different circumstances, but…." She answered.
He looked at her and nodded in understanding. He put his hands in his pocket and met her gaze. He noted the relaxed posture and peaceful look on her face. She had clearly been through a tough situation like he had; and seeing her come out of it at peace made him hopeful for his journey ahead. After a few seconds of looking at each other, Hailey once again broke the silence.
"Talk to Morgan's mother yet?"
"No." Jay said with a firm head shake. "I don't think I am ready." Hailey noted his tense shoulders and how his eyebrows had been furrowed throughout the whole conversation. She wanted so much for him to be able to move on.
"You're never going to be ready." She said softly. "You just have to do it."
For the first time that conversation, Hailey saw his smile reach his eyes. She found the smile to be contagious as she felt her face light up seeing it. Jay nodded in understanding.
"I can go with you. If you think that helps?" She offered.
"Thanks, but I think I need to do this alone."
"Let me know how it goes. And seriously, if you need anything, even just someone to sit next to you at a bar, please let me know." She said as she reached out and placed her hand on his arm.
He smiled at her and she turned to walk away but didn't get far.
"Hailey?" She heard Jay call. She turned around to see Jay still standing next to his truck.
"Thank you." He simply said.
"No problem." She said as she walked away.
Thank you for reading. Due do the workforce returning to the office, I will not be able to update as frequently as I would like. I am aiming for once a week so fingers crossed!
