42Daenerys didn't want to let him out of her sight, insisting that the three of them eat lunch together. Daeron and Rhaenys exchanged nervous glances, knowing that after lunch the captain of the guard would certainly report Jon's appearance to their mother.
They had spoken about it and decided that it may be best for Rhaenys to ease Daenerys into it, but neither wanted to broach the topic, tip-toeing around Jon and Daeron's disappearance.
"How were the winds? You weren't gone very long." Rhaenys asked nervously as she cut into some roast goose that she had no interest in eating. Her appetite had disappeared.
"They were fair, especially on the return trip. I wasn't in Essos long."
They sat in silence for a few moments. Daenerys was too focused on Daeron's return to notice the tension. She was overjoyed to have her son safe and home again.
"Did you have safe travels, Daeron? Were there any complications? I imagine it must have been a hard journey home, to have taken so long to return."
Daeron took a small sip of wine, pressing his lips together, bracing himself for her reaction. "The return trip was quite short, actually. I was able to find passage aboard a ship. Not as fast as dragonflight, and the seasickness was hell, but it wasn't a terribly long journey."
"Oh." She seemed slightly put off by the comment, believing that there must have been many obstacles to his return. "I'm sure Jaehaerys refused to allow you to leave."
"Actually, my father helped me to leave."
Daenerys raised her brows. "I suppose he was more than happy to see you go."
"No, he wasn't."
Daenerys frowned for a moment, then tried to return to more pleasant matters. "Rhaenys, how was court?"
"Fine. Nothing of substance happened in your absence."
"I'm glad that you've been able to handle things so well. I'm sure when you and Daeron come into power that you'll have a long and prosperous reign."
Daeron frowned at the thought of becoming King, unable to stop himself. Daenerys noticed, concern flashing to her face. She was scared to discover how Jon had changed him. Rhaenys spoke after a moment, wishing Daeron could have hidden his reaction better.
"Thank you, Mother. You've prepared us well for ruling."
Daenerys smiled at her daughter for a moment before turning back to Daeron, fear creeping into her voice as she finally dared to ask about his father. "Daeron, where did you go?"
Daeron clenched his jaw and swallowed. "Won't you just burn it to the ground if I tell you?"
Her eyes widened in disbelief. The comment had come off harsher than he had intended it to but he was unable to take it back. He remained steadfast as she gave him a dark look. "Is there reason for me to burn it? Is there reason for me to burn Jaehaerys?"
Daeron closed his eyes for a moment, knowing he was an idiot for what he was about to say next. "You haven't needed a reason to burn innocents in the past."
"Daeron!" Rhaenys cried out, terrified. Daenerys turned to steel.
"What did you just say to me?"
Daeron clenched his fists to stop them from trembling as he prepared to reply. Rhaenys intervened before he could. "Mother, he didn't mean it. He's simply reciting the lies Father told-"
"Father?" Daenerys asked harshly, but there was a hint of worry in her voice.
Rhaenys quickly corrected herself. "He's reciting the lies Jaehaerys told him. Too much time away has-"
"I'm not-" Rhaenys cut her brother off with a harsh look and Daeron bit the inside of his cheek to keep from correcting her.
Daenerys gave him a questioning look as she slowly softened a bit. "Daeron, I already told you, it was necessary."
Daeron's nostrils flared but Rhaenys gently placed her hand on his arm and gave him a reassuring look as she spoke. "Of course, Mother."
Daeron wondered if his mother could detect the insincerity in her daughter's voice just as he could. Rhaenys didn't believe it was necessary any more than he did.
Daenerys spoke again, gentler. "You know I only did it for you and your sister. You know everything I do is for you."
Rhaenys gave him a pleading look and he didn't respond. Rhaenys took a deep breath, knowing that she had to tell Daenerys. "Mother, when you were gone, when Daeron came back, well, you see, he, uh, he-"
"What?" Worry had claimed Daenerys' voice. Daeron knew his sister, she wasn't going to be able to say it outright so he realized he would have to.
"Father brought me home."
The room fell silent as a myriad of emotions overcame her. Jon hadn't simply stolen her son from her, he'd seen their daughter as well. They were calling him father. He had been to their home.
"He was here?" her voice was barely a whisper.
Rhaenys swallowed nervously and nodded. "Father-"
Daenerys' eyes blazed and she practically growled. "He was here?!"
Rhaenys' eyes widened and she averted her gaze. "He wanted to see Daeron safely home."
"You should have executed him!"
Daeron clenched his jaw and looked at his mother with an expression of pure fury. "He's our father!"
"He betrayed me and abandoned you!"
Daeron stood and gave his mother a dark look. "My father would never abandon me. You never told him-"
She stood as well, ignoring Daeron and turning to Rhaenys. "Where is he?"
Rhaenys still couldn't meet her mother's gaze. "We forced him to leave the city a few days-"
"Grey Worm!" Daenerys stormed from the room, off to find her commander to send him on a mission to search for Jon. Daeron shuddered to think of what might happen if she were to find him. He straightened, gripping Longclaw's pommel and turning to Rhaenys.
"Well I think that went well, all things considered."
She shot him a dark look. "You did nothing to help that situation."
He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm done sitting quietly while she burns half the country, Rhae."
"Provoking her-"
"What else can I do? I've tried ignoring the bloodshed but I can't have that on my conscience. I've tried running from it but her response to that was to destroy half of Westeros, and probably Essos as well. All I can do now is face her and try to make her see sense."
Rhaenys shook her head. "Daeron, you know why she does what she does. She has to do it."
He clenched his jaw and gripped the pommel of his sword again. "No. No she does not."
Rhaenys sighed and attempted to turn back to her plate despite her lack of appetite. Daeron looked back at her and sighed before moving to leave the room.
When he reached the door the guards stopped him. "The Queen has said you're not to leave this room."
Daeron scoffed. "Let me through."
They didn't move. He debated forcing his way through, drawing Longclaw and giving them no choice. He could use a good fight, it had been over a week since he and his father had last trained. However, he knew it would be foolish to pick one with his mother's guards and he stood down.
"Look, Rhae, now we're her prisoners!" he said sarcastically.
"Maybe if you hadn't provoked her-"
Suddenly Daenerys stormed back into the room. She began pacing, her fists clenched. "You let him get away."
Rhaenys swallowed nervously. "I exiled him."
Daenerys turned to Daeron. "Where did he go?"
"I don't know."
"Daeron, tell me where you were."
"No."
Fire blazed in her eyes. "No?"
"No."
She took a steadying breath. "Very well. I suppose I'll just have to search for him. I'm sure Drogon's presence will loosen the tongues of those that saw him leave."
Daeron's nostrils flared. "You wouldn't."
"You've given me no choice. He's too dangerous to be left alive. I should have killed him years ago."
"If you kill him-"
"Yes?"
Daeron clenched his jaw and shook his head. His hand instinctively gripped Longclaw and his mother noticed the gesture. "Take off that ridiculous sword."
Hurt flashed to his face. "No. Never."
"Daeron, you have no reason to carry a sword. By doing so you insult the entire Queensguard-"
"My father wore this sword to court."
"You're not your father."
"I'm not. I hope someday I can be the kind of man he was, despite your efforts against that."
Rhaenys stood, going to Daeron and gripping his arm, speaking in a low voice and trying to calm him down. "Daeron, please. Stop provoking her. She doesn't deserve this."
"Doesn't deserve- she wants to kill Father, Rhae!"
Rhaenys lowered her voice even more, hoping their mother wouldn't hear. "She's not going to kill Father, alright? But he might starve to death if we're thrown in cells because you can't hold your tongue."
Daeron bit the inside of his cheek and nodded after a moment. Daenerys hadn't calmed, staring at both her children with an expression of anger, tinged with disbelief. Daeron spoke after a moment.
"I'm sorry, Mother. I've been harsh today, I'm still tired from my journey. If you'll excuse me then I'd like to retire for the afternoon."
Daenerys thought for a moment and nodded. Just before her son left the room she called out to him.
"The next time I see you you will not be wearing that foolish sword."
Daeron gripped Longclaw's pommel again and stormed from the room.
Rhaenys remembered the first time she had seen the chest, all those years ago. She must have been around age six or seven. She had had a bad dream and had sought out her mother, needing reassurance but not trusting Daeron to provide it.
Their chambers were still connected at the time so there weren't any guards to alert her mother of her arrival. Silently she had crept into the room, finding her mother with her back to her, the chest open in front of her. As she neared her mother she saw the contents, confused as to what they meant.
The chest held a variety of clothing, men's clothing. Heavy furs and dull dark linens occupied a majority of it, but she saw a polished gorget and black gambeson as well.
"Jon…" her mother's voice was a whisper, laden with sadness as she clutched a dark grey tunic to her chest, reveling in the scent, drawing upon it to bring some long lost memory back to her mind.
"Muña?" When Daeron and her were younger they hadn't been as formal with their mother.
Daenerys quickly turned, returning the tunic to the chest and quickly wiping away her tears. "Yes, sweetling? What's wrong?"
Rhaenys gave her mother a concerned expression, forgetting her own troubles. "Are you okay?"
Her mother pressed her lips together and gave her a quick nod, trying to force away her emotions.
"I'm okay, sweetling."
"Who's Jon?" Rhaenys had only heard her father referred to as Jaehaerys, her mother wanted to erase his ties to the North and the shame he'd had to endure as a bastard.
Daenerys looked away, trying to keep her emotions at bay as tears threatened to come through again. She hadn't wanted her children to know that name. It was easy for her to tell them of Jaehaerys, of the war hero. It would be impossible for her to tell Rhaenys and Daeron about Jon, about the man she had loved. The man that had broken her heart. She wanted them to know that their father left, that he wasn't worthy of their love, but she couldn't allow them to feel the pain of believing she wasn't worthy of his.
"Jon was… Jon… Jon's gone now, sweetling."
Rhaenys came closer to her mother, moving to comfort her. "I'm sorry, Muña. Did you love him?"
Daenerys drew her daughter in for a fierce embrace, finally allowing her tears to return, never wanting to answer that question. She wanted to hate him. Wanted to believe that she was never weakened by love, never as helpless as she had been. But in that moment, as she held her daughter, she couldn't lie to her. She could never outright say it but she wanted Rhaenys and Daeron to know that she had loved their father.
"Yes, sweetling. I loved Jon very much."
Rhaenys felt her nightdress growing damp with her mother's tears. She rubbed her mother's back, unsure of how to proceed. "Can you tell me about Jon?"
Daenerys pulled back suddenly, worry overtaking her as she shook her head and quickly shut the trunk.
"You should get back to bed. Come on, I'll tuck you in."
Rhaenys gave her mother a concerned look but followed her as she led her back to bed, sparing one last glance at the trunk. She thought about the trunk often over the years. That night was the first time she had ever seen her mother cry.
When she was a little older she had found the trunk in one of the rooms connected to her mother's, buried under several blankets. When she had examined the contents on her own she had been mystified. She recognized the clothing as Northern, but the gambeson and gorget were distinctly Targaryen, bearing their dragon sigil, but they were untouched. They had never been worn.
Eventually she had put two and two together and realized they were her father's old clothes, what he must have left behind when he left them after the war. For a few years she had avoided the trunk, wanting to light it aflame. It was always in the back of her mind, no matter how much she wanted it gone forever.
She'd never known her father, never known what he looked like. What his voice sounded like, what it would have felt like to have been kissed goodnight by his bearded face. But she knew his scent, knew what clothes he would have worn. She had a small window into the man that had sired her and when she grew a little older she had visited it a few more times, wishing she could have more of him but savoring the small connection.
That night, the night Daenerys came home after Daeron's return from beyond the Wall, Rhaenys saw the chest in her mother's chambers.
She could hear her mother speaking from the hall, destroying her hopes of slipping away to visit Jon while Daenerys slumbered. She had promised Daeron she would visit their father if she could slip past the guards, but the patrols had been doubled and she didn't dare go while her mother was awake, in case Daenerys decided to call on her children. Rhaenys couldn't help but eavesdrop at hearing the raw emotion in her mother's voice. She had never heard such sorrow come from her mother.
She had come to her mother's bedchamber through one of her adjoining rooms and wasn't troubled by any guards. The door was slightly ajar and Rhaenys could clearly see her mother, sobbing softly, wrapped in one of Jon's old furs.
"Why, Jon? Why did you leave? After all these years I'm still asking myself every second of every day, what did I do to deserve your betrayal? Why did you stop wanting me?"
Rhaenys felt sorrow pooling in her own eyes. Just a few weeks ago she had lain in Daeron's bed, holding one of his pillows to her chest and sobbing, calling out for him.
"Jon, you took him from me. You took our son. You already destroyed my heart once, already betrayed me once, why must you take him from me as well? Have you not caused me enough pain?" Anger was beginning to seep into her voice, though the pain was still present, tears were still dripping from her eyes.
"I loved you. I loved you and you left. I lost you. I can't lose him too. I can't. Please, Jon. Please don't take him." She held her legs close to her chest, hiding her face in her knees.
Rhaenys felt moisture on her face as she watched her mother falling to pieces. She took a deep breath and soundlessly pushed the door open, silently crossing the room to sit on the bed next to her mother.
Daenerys jumped at feeling Rhaenys next to her, and immediately moved to wipe her eyes and put on a strong face. Rhaenys grabbed her hand and gently eased it away from her tears, moving to wipe them away herself.
"Rhaenys-"
"Shh." She wrapped her mother in an embrace, wanting to shield her from the rest of the world. From Jon most of all.
"It's alright, Mother. I'm here. I'm never going anywhere."
Daenerys was still trying to regain her composure but after a moment she broke, holding her daughter tightly to her, silently sobbing into her shoulder.
"I love you. It's going to be okay." Rhaenys gently stroked her mother's hair, which had broken free of its braids. "It's going to be okay, Mother."
Daenerys took a deep breath, pulling back to wipe away her tears. She brought a hand to Rhaenys' cheek and gave her a genuine smile.
"I love you, my sweet girl."
Rhaenys returned her mother's smile, relief flooding through her. After a moment her eyes fell on the chest and she nervously bit her bottom lip. Daenerys grew a little red, either from embarrassment at having kept Jon's clothes or from irritation at the thought of him and what he had done to their son.
Rhaenys spoke as her mother moved to remove the fur she had wrapped around her.
"This isn't the first time I've seen this chest, you know."
Daenerys swallowed nervously. "I know."
Rhaenys turned to look at her, eyes full of empathy. "I was in the same state you are when Daeron left."
Daenerys moved to swipe at her eyes. "I'm not-"
"It's okay, Mother. It's okay. It's okay to miss him. I'm your daughter, if you can't tell me then who can you tell?"
Daenerys looked at her with regret. "I should have been there for you when Daeron-"
"It's okay. We were both grieving."
"No, I'm your mother, I should have looked after you better."
Daenerys wrapped her arm around Rhaenys and her daughter leaned into the embrace. After a moment Rhaenys spoke again.
"Over the years I've gone looking for this chest a few times."
"You have?" Her voice was small, apprehensive and fearful.
Rhaenys nodded. "Once or twice it was because I wanted to burn it, but other times it was because I missed him, too."
She took a deep breath and continued, hoping she wasn't hurting her mother. "You were always enough when we were growing up. Daeron and I didn't want for anything, you gave us a wonderful childhood. But I always knew he was missing. I always knew that he should have been here."
"Rhaenys-"
"I'm glad you kept some of his old things. I never knew him but I knew what it would have smelled like if he could have held me. I had an idea of what he would have looked like. I didn't have much of him growing up but having this was enough. Having this gave me a small connection with him, at least."
Tears had made their way back into Daenerys' eyes. "Mother?"
She pulled Rhaenys close to her again, holding her for a few moments. "I'm sorry, sweetling."
Rhaenys pulled back, shocked. "Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?"
Daenerys pursed her lips and shook her head slightly, trying to regain her composure. "What Daeron says is true, I never told him about you-"
"He left you, Mother. That's not your fault. Do you hear me? That's not your fault."
Daenerys looked down and swallowed. "Daeron thinks I'm a monster. Your father must think that as well. That's why he left."
Rhaenys gently gripped her mother's face and guided her eyes to meet her own. "You are not a monster. Never think for a single second that you're a monster. Everything you've done has been to protect us. Without you Daeron and I wouldn't be this safe, we wouldn't be this happy."
She chewed at her lower lip for a moment, conflicted. Finally she decided against admonishing her mother's actions for the time being. Now wasn't the proper moment to tell her what she really thought of her habit of unleashing Drogon's wrath.
"Father didn't leave you because he thought you were a monster."
"He didn't?" There was suddenly hope in her eyes. Rhaenys had never seen anything in her mother that resembled the spark of possibility that suddenly presented itself. Rhaenys smiled and nodded.
"Father told me that he was a bastard all his life, that his family was ashamed of him, that they wanted to hide him and forget him. You did the same when you discovered who he really was."
"I didn't-"
"I don't know what really happened, Mother. But that's what he told me. He thought you were ashamed of him, that it would have been wrong for you to be together. He was raised to believe it was wrong to lay with family, raised to believe his true father was a rapist and murderer. Everything in his life changed and he didn't know what to do."
Daenerys was silent as Rhaenys continued. "He loved you, Mother. But he couldn't be a secret to be hidden away. After you burned King's Landing he knew he couldn't simply stand in the shadows for the rest of his life, couldn't stand by and watch you murder people-"
Daenerys opened her mouth to object but Rhaenys continued. "-even if you were only doing it to protect our family. A family Father felt he could never be a part of."
Daenerys silently shook her head, speaking after a moment. She gestured to the gambeson and gorget, two items that had always mystified Rhaenys. She didn't understand why they had never been used, why they would be made for someone so clearly opposed to their house.
"I did think he was a threat to me, a threat to the throne. He no longer loved me or wanted me, but I still wanted him. I had these made for him before he left. I never got the chance to give them to him. He pushed me away, he didn't want to be my family. I had these made because I wanted to tell him that he didn't have a choice, he was a Targaryen, he was my family and I was going to love and accept him regardless. That he would be a father to Targaryen children, that I would accept him as my King even if it would have been a loveless marriage.
"I wanted him to be my family, I didn't want him to have to hide away. I had won the throne and ultimately I decided he was more important than a crown. That our family was more important than my ambition. He left before I could tell him."
Rhaenys stared at her, in shock. "Why didn't you go after him?"
Daenerys sighed, pulling the fur a little closer despite the crippling southern heat. "I did. When I went north I sent men to find him but the Free Folk told me he wasn't with them. I scoured every keep in the North but he wasn't there. I asked my informants across the Narrow Sea to keep an eye out for him but they never found him. He didn't want to be found and eventually I stopped looking."
"But you're looking now."
"I am. I don't want Daeron running off to find him again."
Rhaenys swallowed nervously. "What will you do if you find him?"
"It depends. When I find him I'll allow him to explain himself. But I think it's likely he'll have to die."
"Why?" Her voice was filled with sorrow and fear. Daenerys reached for her daughter's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "He has caused us too much pain, he's too much of a threat. He has turned your brother against me and I can't allow him to convince Daeron to leave again."
"Please don't kill him, Mother. Please don't."
Daenerys stiffened again, returning to the queenly persona she usually adopted. "Why are you suddenly arguing in favor of the man that abandoned me? That abandoned us?"
Rhaenys bit her lip nervously. "Please, Mother. It will destroy Daeron. It will destroy our family."
"What would you have me do?" There was a quiet fury in her voice.
"Imprison him. Exile him. Anything but execution. Please."
Daenerys shrugged off Jon's old fur. "I'm sorry, sweetling."
"No! Please, Mother. Please!"
Rhaenys, usually so gentle and soft-spoken, so eager to please her mother, was raising her voice for the first time. It caught Daenerys off guard, her eyes filling with hurt before hardening. "Leave me, Rhaenys. He's poisoned you, too."
Rhaenys stood, tears threatening to break through. She hurried and left the room, her heart filled with fear and hurt.
