There were many things River Song hated about her Reality Walking abilities.

She hated waking around in a different body. She'd had many of them to this point, including back in her Home reality. She didn't want different ones.

She never knew as much as she wanted to know. In every word, the people there seemed to know River better than she knew herself. She never got to chose her facts, they were always chosen for her.

There were historical facts that never matched up with what River knew. There was no 'Doctor' in the other Realities, just people like him.

River was never in control of where she went. She imagined this was how it was for the Doctor and his TARDIS. She was a pilot with a destination in mind, but the transportation took her where she was needed. River hated not being in control of where she went. She'd had enough of that in her life.

There weren't any other Reality Walkers. River was alone in all of these worlds.

Except once.

Morgan Spencer.

River remembered that name like one remembers a first love. At the time, River had been a stupid girl with no idea what the rules of Reality Walking were until Morgan hardwired then into River's system (the robot pun was not intentional).

Morgan had been the only one River had ever met.

Which of course was why River should not have been so surprised that Morgan was Terra Stardust. Really, not that big of a jump.

River had wished to spend more time with Terra. According to Terra, it had been centuries for her since SASHA. There was so much that Terra could tell River about her powers. River was used to knowing everything about herself. Her origins, her past, her abilities. Even with that, Morgan Spencer always knew more about River than River did.

Being a Reality Walker would be more information that River needed. Where did they come from? What were their powers originally used for? Was there a reason River could never find one besides Morgan/Terra?

None of those questions would top this one:

What in the Author's name was she doing on Asgard?

==L==

Here, she was in Asgard.

River had spent a month in this place. She hated every second of it.

The people here called her Lady Freyja. River had no idea who Freyja was. They spoke of her being something called Vanir, which River had very few ideas about. River supposed she was lucky that this world let her keep her 'River Song' face. The blonde hair suited for the many fair haired people on Asgard.

She had heard about the Norse gods, she wasn't an idiot. She wasn't sure why she had been dragged into this world. Her last memory was lying in a hospital bed with the Sisters of the Infinite Schism. Terra had been smiling knowingly at River. Next thing River knew she was waking up on an Asgardian bed.

River figured that Terra had done something to send her to this Reality. What was the point of sending her here? River didn't see a point to it. All of Asgard was full of people who were so dense. She spent most of her days sparring with Sif and the Warriors Three.

That had been a good First Day. Apparently Lady Freyja had some experience fighting, at least enough that none of the Warriors were surprised to see River walking on the battlefield. If anything they were surprised by River showing up in an olive green tunic, black pants, and boots. She supposed she was supposed to wear one of their getups. She refused.

It amused the leader of the Warriors. An Asgardian that River found out was their eldest prince and soon to be king, Thor Odinson.

He sparred with River on two occasions. River learned quickly that beating him lead to rainy days, until he defeated her in sparring. River didn't like how the weather ruined her hair, so she avoided sparring with Thor.

Apparently defeating him the once was all she needed to do for gaining the respect of Prince Loki Odinson.

Though gaining his trust hadn't been a problem. Whoever Freyja had been, she had Loki's trust.

River hated it when her backstory included friends. The only time it paid off was with Morgan/Terra/Oil.

Loki turned out to be an accomplished battle mage. River watched him practice his spell work (his way of showing off, which he vehemently denied) which included duplication, levitation, and glamours.

It had been impressive, yes. River would never admit it. She didn't like working with magic. It left her feeling like her skin was a size too small for her body. Which didn't help, as right now her body was a size smaller than her actual body back Home.

Still she watched Loki perform his spells after sparring with the Warriors three. Know your enemy, and all that.

A month after her arrival in Asgard, she was sparring with doubles of Loki trying to find the proper one.

His illusions were damn good. River was used to hologram illusions, or ones created by the aliens that raised her. Magical illusions were above her paygrade.

River was soundly defeated when one of the illusions threw her out of the sparring ring. She tossed her blonde hair back, the curls disappearing in her sweat. She narrowed her eyes at the Trickster.

The prince was grinning at her with delight. River had seen this grin on children who had gotten away with a clever trick.

River helped herself to her feet. The pale bastard didn't have the decency to look winded. On the other hand, River had taken on three men at once and could still walk straight. A personal best by River's account.

She reached out her hand to shake Loki's, signalling the end of their spar, when a loud shout came from across the training field.

River and Loki turned their heads that way.

They saw Thor, standing proud in the middle of fallen Asgard soldiers. He must have won his sparring match. Everyone not on the floor was cheering for Thor.

River grimaced. She didn't have taste for braggarts.

Loki didn't have the taste either. For a moment River felt for the Prince. She had been here a month. Loki had grown up with the lot of them.

"He has been this way since Father announced his coronation." Loki grumbled. "The coronation is in a week. You would think the oaf would be doing a better job of proving his merit as king."

River glanced back to Thor. The God of Thunder was waving his hammer in the air without a care, rilling the crowd further. She didn't see a leader there, she saw someone who could stand to be knocked off his feet.

"Hopefully when he's crowned he'll shut up." River remarked. She went over to a rack for weapons. She wished they had guns. She was much more suited for a gun or poisons than a sword.

Loki laughed at her remark. River knew that if anyone else had heard her, she'd be arrested for speaking that way about the heir to the throne. Lucky for her that Thor was not her king, yet. "I suspect not. He's been this way since we were children."

"Just another reason I pity your childhood." River remarked. 'And I spent mine locked in a spacesuit, escaping only to die.' She picked up a smaller sword than the one she was using. It looked more like a katana, which River had some experience with.

"Father always said we were born to be Kings. I think that thought went straight to my brother's head."

"Good thing something is in his skull. For a long while I presumed it was empty."

"You are not alone in that thought." Loki grumbled. He glared at his brother. "Thor is not fit to be King yet. If only the All-Father could see. Maybe then he would wait until Thor was better suited for rule."

Loki gained a glint in his eye, turning back to glare at Thor. River had seen in when they fought. It was a look right before Loki would throw a new as of yet unknown spell at her.

River Song herself got that same look before stealing a bus, or that gorgeous red car that she'd left in a maze.

He was coming up with a plan. A plan that would most certainly not go well for Thor.

As a psychopath herself, River Song knew from experience that she couldn't sway him. With how loud Thor was shouting she wasn't sure she even wanted to stop him.

Which meant River had to find the only person she knew that could stop psychopaths.

River put the katana back. "I know someone that would be more than eager to help."

That got the Trickster's attention. That spark of mischief was subdued in his eyes. If River didn't sell this enough... "Truly?"

"Yes." River leaned in closer to Loki. "If we can manage to bring her here, you will follow every detail of her Plan to the letter. You will treat her word as gospel. She hates when others deviate."

"Anything to prove to Father wrong about Thor." Loki replied.

"Her name is Morgan." River began. "You'll find her on Midgard."

==L==

AN: So here we are, you and I on the cusp of a great adventure.