May 26th 1994

Scully sighed heavily as she waited for the red light to change, nearly to Mulder's apartment. The late night phone call from him had led to her quickly changing out of her pajamas and getting in her car.

Shut down. They were being shut down and reassigned.

She shivered, feeling like ice water had been poured onto her. She could both not understand why they would be shut down, but also knew exactly why, and she did not like it. She needed to talk to Mulder and not over the phone.

When he opened his door, he seemed surprised to see her, but let her in, his eyes both sad and angry. He sighed as the door closed and he looked at her.

"You shouldn't have come over this late," he said quietly and she frowned at him.

"Are you serious? After you tell me Skinner is shutting us down? Where else would I be?" She stared at him and he nodded, guiding her to the couch.

They sat and talked about what Skinner had said, what reason he had given to do this to them.

"I… I shouldn't be surprised, but after all this… the proof I've uncovered." He sighed, pacing the living room. "They think I'm a joke, why wouldn't they shut me down?"

"We, Mulder. We are being shut down."

"Scully…"

"No, it's both of us. This is happening to both of us."

"I know. I know," he said, looking at her as he nodded his head with a tight smile.

"Mulder," she said quietly, hating to see his eyes full of so much sadness.

"Scully…" he sighed and watched his shoulders slumping in defeat.

She got up from the couch and stood in front of him, wanting to tell him it would be okay. She knew she could not, not with complete honesty. Words were not worth anything in that moment, she knew that, and so instead she wrapped her arms around him and said nothing.

He seemed surprised at first, but then he pulled her close, holding her tightly, both of them breathing deeply. She closed her eyes and shook her head against his shoulder, feeling the threat of tears, but tried to push them down.

"I'm so sorry, Mulder," she whispered and she felt him hold her tighter as he took a deep shuddering breath. "I…"

"Scully," he breathed and she pulled back to look at him, needing to see his face.

His eyes were closed and she sighed, as she put a hand on his cheek, her thumb running over the scratch of his light stubble. He opened his eyes and stared at her, his sadness in them as they searched her face.

Without any previous plan to do so, she raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him, holding his face with her hand. As soon as she realized what she had done, she stepped back, her eyes wide, and tried to pull her hand away, but he stopped her.

Holding lightly to her wrist, he brought it back to his face, her hand now in a fist. Keeping her hand against his face, she opened it and placed her palm back upon his cheek. He smiled softly, his eyes flicking to her lips. When she made no protest, he leaned down to touch his lips to hers.

Though she knew it was coming, she drew in a breath as though from surprise and her mouth opened, his tongue sliding inside. His other hand gripped her waist and she leaned into him, grasping at his shirt, holding on tightly. He let go of her wrist and moved his hand to her hair, their kiss becoming more passionate as they moved toward the couch.

He held her as he fumbled, sitting down heavily onto it, with her on top of him. Breaking from their kiss, she stared down at him, feeling the need to apologize and run out as fast as she could.

But then his hand was on her cheek and his thumb was stroking softly, and the look in his eyes made her pulse race. Ignoring the logical voice in her head, she listened instead to her heart and kissed him again.

His hands landed on her thighs as she leaned back and took a breath, his eyes burning into hers as she lifted her sweater over her head, and tossed it behind her.

He drew in a ragged breath and she had to resist the urge to cover herself, the bravery she felt seconds ago, quickly fleeting. Then, his hands were on her skin and it made her feel hot and unlike she had in awhile.

His hands moved around her back and pulled her down to his mouth, her hands landing on his shoulders. She felt him twisting her bra and unhooking it, her body now feeling like hot liquid.

The straps loosened on her shoulders and she moved quickly to take it off, needing to feel his hands everywhere on her body. She was not disappointed, as he had her breasts in his hands at record speed.

"Mulder," she gasped as she arched back, rocking into him, feeling him hardening beneath her.

"God," he groaned, holding her around the waist and leaning forward to take a nipple into his mouth. She cried out as his teeth grazed her flesh and his fingers pressed into her skin.

Her head was racing and her heart pounding, and it seemed like mere seconds until she was completely naked and on her back, the leather cool against her overly warm skin.

Mulder was over her, staring into her eyes. Behind the fire of desire, she saw a second of hesitation. She could feel him, hard against her, and she ached to have him inside of her.

"Con… condom," he stuttered out and started to move back.

"It's okay. I… it's okay," she whispered with a nod and he stared at her. She nodded again and reached for him, bringing him back as her leg wrapped around him and he slowly slid inside of her, both of them exhaling simultaneously.

Keeping a tight grip on him, she silently told him to keep still as she grew accustomed to his size. With a nod, she loosened her grip, and he pulled out slowly, causing her to gasp in a sharp breath.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked and she gasped again.

"No. It feels so good," she breathed, shaking her head, crying out as he slid back in, deeper than before.

"Scully," he groaned and she gripped his sides, echoing her pleasure as she said his name.

Everything else was forgotten as they moved together. He made her feel things she had never felt before, her body responding to his touch. Even without speaking, and having never taken this step together, they fell in sync. He seemed to read her mind as he shifted his position a little and she saw spots behind her eyes at the sensation it created.

"Oh, Mulder," she moaned with a whimper, her fingers laying claim to every inch of flesh they could touch.

She was nearing her peak faster than she ever had in the past, with another or on her own. She felt it everywhere, like an electrical charge building in her body and about to explode. Unable to focus on anything else, she held onto him and her breath, as with another push, she fell.

Calling his name and pulling him closer, she pulsated around him, the spots behind her eyes growing larger and her hearing fuzzy as blood pounded through her veins. Disconnected from anything except the way she felt in that moment, she was only aware she was pressing her nails so deeply into him, when she began to return to herself.

"I'm hurting you," she panted and she ran her hands over him soothingly.

"Quite the opposite," he breathed, thrusting slowly, as she still quivered around him.

"God, Mulder," she whispered as he began to go faster, seeking his own release.

Holding him close, his breath was hot on her neck. The hairs on his chest created a sensual friction and heightened her own recent release, bringing her near the edge once more; something that very rarely happened for her.

"Sc… Scully," he stuttered, as he pushed into her harder than before. "Ohhhh." He stilled and shuddered against her, his hips thrusting slower, as he stayed deep inside of her. He breathed deeply, whispering her name, as he lay heavily upon her.

Her body was thrumming as she tripped over the edge again, quieter than before, but still feeling amazing as it happened. She heard him repeating her name, his lips against her throat, as she ran her fingernails up and down his back.

Minutes ticked by as they remained together, and then reality began to set in for both of them. He shifted and pulled back, looking at her with an unreadable expression. He moved, leaving her laying on the couch, as he picked up his underwear and left the room without saying a word. She could hear him in the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, as she covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes.

She had slept with her partner.

Ex-partner, her brain reminded her, and she shook her head. As if that made any difference. He was still her partner, it did not matter if they were working together or not.

And now she… they had crossed a line they would never be able to uncross. A line she had set after breaking things off with Jack. A promise to not become involved with someone she worked with so closely. Now she had gone and fucked it all up.

Quite literally.

She had not anticipated this being what happened when she came over tonight, not in any way. And know they were both facing those realizations… alone.

She had to talk to him. Needed him to know that she had not meant for this to happen, as utterly amazing as it was. Standing up, she wobbled a bit as she picked up her underwear and slid them on. Grabbing his shirt, knowing it would cover more of her body, and unable to find her own, she put it on, buttoning half the buttons on her way to the kitchen.

"Hey," he said, looking over at her quickly before looking away as she walked into the room. "I uh… I was… looking for… some um…"

"Mulder," she interrupted, now hating that she had chosen his shirt, knowing that it might send the wrong message. She tugged at it and could not meet his eyes. "Mulder, I… that was not why I came over here tonight. I don't… that's not… I'm not..." She closed her eyes and crossed her arms tightly, holding onto her body, not sure why she was unable to just say the words.

"Scully," he said softly, his voice close, and she opened her eyes, surprised to find him standing closer to her.

"I don't want you to think less of me," she whispered, cutting across anything he would say, dropping her eyes to the floor, feeling close to tears.

"I would never," he answered, frowning as he shook his head slowly.

"I don't… I wouldn't have…"

"Scully… it wasn't just you," he said softly, and she looked up as he stepped closer and she automatically stepped back. He paused and they stared at one another.

His hair was mussed from her fingers running through it and his lips were swollen from her kisses. They were both nearly naked as they stood in his kitchen. Christ, they had been completely naked just moments ago.

He had been inside of her…

"I know it wasn't just me, Mulder. But I…"

"Scully…"

"It's different for a woman," she said quietly and he looked at her in confusion.

"Sex?"

"No. Well, yes… but it's not what I meant."

"It's…"

"It holds different consequences for women… personal, career… I…" She shook her head, feeling it spinning with the realization of what they had just done.

"What's the worst they could do? Split us up?" he asked with a sardonic smile and she closed her eyes.

"Mulder…"

"Do you regret it?" He asked it so quietly and yet it felt so loud. The only question that truly mattered. She opened her eyes and stared at him, his eyes searching her face.

"No," she whispered, and he smiled softly with a nod and she bit her lip.

"I know it wasn't why you came here tonight, Scully. I would never have assumed or imagined this would be where the night led. I don't regret it, and I would never think less of you. Never." He shook his head and she sighed.

They stared at one another and she dropped her head, looking down as she nodded, her mind reeling. She saw his feet as he stepped closer and she took a deep breath before looking up at him.

He shook his head with a hesitant smile as he stared at her, his eyes roaming across her face. He brought a tentative hand to her cheek, his fingertips grazing lightly, as so many questions were asked silently. He opened his mouth to say something and she shook her head slightly, knowing they had reached an understanding.

She placed her hand over his wrist, mirroring his touch from earlier. Taking a deep breath, she moved her hand up to his and brought it down, holding it within her own. Thinking about what he had said, she felt emboldened.

Tugging at his hand, she stared at him as she pulled him out of the room. Continuing through the apartment, she stopped at the door beside his couch and smiled at him hesitantly as he looked at her questioningly.

"I'm assuming this is your bedroom," she said softly, still a little unsure of where they stood, literally and figuratively, but letting him know she had no plans to leave yet.

He nodded as he kept his eyes on her, making completely sure this was what she wanted. When she smiled slightly, he chuckled softly with a nod.

Opening the door, they stepped inside. He apologized profusely for the mess in the room, but she did not really care how it looked. He began to move boxes around and create a space, as she made her way to the bathroom.

Staring at herself in the mirror, she took a deep breath, worrying again that despite what he had said, that this had been a mistake. Deciding to stop listening to her head, she used the bathroom and washed her hands.

Walking into his bedroom, he stood waiting nervously as she walked past him and pulled the covers back on his bed. She looked at him, silently asking if it was okay, and he nodded with a smile.

She lay on her back as he used the bathroom, the covers pulled up to her chest, as her head yelled at her to get up and leave. Now.

Ignoring it yet again, she glanced over as he joined her, neither of them speaking. Several minutes of silence filled the room, as too many thoughts began to crowd in.

She heard the blankets rustling and then his hand found hers in the dark, his fingers squeezing as he held on tight.

When she left a few hours later, she did so with both a confused head and heart.

Despite her words to him in the kitchen, of her worries regarding the consequences of the line they had crossed, she had been the one to once again seek him out in the darkness. She had kissed him first, pulling him on top of her, as she breathed his name. His fingers had been hungry, as well as his mouth, but she had instigated it.

Again.

Leaning her head back against the elevator wall, she closed her eyes as it traveled to the ground floor. Walking out, she knew they could not do that again, no matter how mind-shattering amazing it had been.

He was her partner for God's sake.

Not anymore, her brain reminded her yet again, and she sighed, wishing it would just shut the hell up.

Enough.

They could not do that again and she knew it. Giving into that temptation once was enough, but twice ? No… they could not do it again.

She needed to be smarter and not allow her emotions to take precedence. She could no longer afford to listen to her heart.

It was too steep of a price to pay.