10This fic comes via the combined suggestions of mashmaiden, detective-and-agent-deeks, and psyched1328 over on Tumblr. Hopefully I haven't forgotten anyone. I loosely reference another fic of mine, "The Night that Music Died".
"Well, we are never doing that again," Deeks vowed as he locked the front door and turned off the "OPEN" sign. The last two customers had just left after lingering over their drinks for close to an hour. "Put karaoke night under "terrible ideas".
"It wasn't that bad," Kensi said with a roll of her eyes.
"Uh-huh, then why did you keep covering your ears and finding excuses to go to the office?"
Deeks crossed his arms and waited for her to respond. He eyed her knowingly and she sighed, capitulating.
"Ok, it was that bad. But the customers didn't seem to mind. I think they actually enjoyed."
"People love a spectacle," Deeks pointed out.
"True. What are you doing?" she asked as Deeks started stuffing the "Karaoke Night" banner they'd recently purchased into a box.
"Boxing this stuff up and putting it where no one can ever find it," he said grimly.
"It seems a shame to let it go to waste after only one use." Turning around, Deeks crossed his arms, unconsciously cocking a hip. Kensi followed the movement eagerly.
"Then what do you suggest? We can't ever let Nell or Beale near it again. I would rather jam a skewer in my eardrum than listen to them destroy another Broadway classic."
"You're not being at all dramatic," Kensi said sarcastically. She wandered over the karaoke machine and flipped through the song selections until she found the one she wanted. "How do you feel about one last, very special performance?" She tried to keep her tone nonchalant.
"What do you mean "performance"? Deeks asked suspiciously.
"The kind where you're not wearing a shirt," she said, stepping closer to him. She lowered her voice seductively and popped the first button on his shirt. "And I get to see if you remember any of your old routines."
Deeks chuckled, apparently thinking she was joking.
"Funny." When she just stared at him expectantly, he made a shocked noise. "Kensi, I can't do a strip routine in the middle of the bar."
"First of all, we're the only ones here. Secondly, you don't have to strip. I'll be completely happy with the dance. And no shirt."
"And what's in it for me?" he asked boldly. Kensi walked her fingers up his chest.
"Well, for one you get the pleasure of knowing that you've made your wife extremely happy. And you know how...generous I can be when I'm in a good mood," she said, giving him a seductive look. His eyes darkened and a tiny grin formed as he tugged her against him.
"I think I can work with that." He started to lean down to kiss her, but she pulled back, shaking her head.
"Uh-uh. I need to see some action first." She hit start on the karaoke remote, grinning delightedly as "Hips Don't Lie" filled the bar. Deeks gave her a brief amused, if slightly disgusted, look and then jutted the other hip out. Slowly, he started unbuttoning his shirt, throwing a hip thrust here and there.
Kensi sat down at the nearest table, watching avidly. When he had all the buttons undone, he tossed it to the other side of the stage. He tossed his head, hair flying into his face, and swiveled his hips.
Kensi whooped and clapped. It was a shame she hadn't thought to grab some singles from the register. Then again, that probably would have been pushing her luck. She was lucky Deeks agreed to this at all.
She sighed happily as Shakira sang about reading the signs of her body and Deeks swiveled his hips obscenely. She felt a rush of heat run through her body when he tugged at the front of his jeans, emphasizing the growing bulge there.
Clearly she wasn't the only one enjoying herself. He glanced up at her from under his bangs, his eyes burning into hers. The skin of his chest looked faintly flushed too; she didn't know if it was from nerves or arousal. Either way, it was a good look.
Deeks tossed his head again and suddenly froze, his eyes focusing on something beyond her. Kensi turned around and let out a horrified gasp. Callen stood a few feet away, his mouth open slightly. He looked equally horrified as she felt.
Kensi turned to Deeks, frantically trying to think of some way to explain his bare chest, the popped button on his jeans, the pulsing music.
Deeks hastily turned the music off and crossed his arms over his chest. He was definitely blushing now.
"What the...?" Callen started say, trailing off as he shook his head. Since coming to live above the bar, he'd walked in on his share of weird and inappropriate things, but this definitely crossed a line.
"We can explain," Kensi blurted out desperately. Deeks flashed her a look that clearly questioned her sanity. There was no way they could ever find a reasonable explanation for any of this.
"I don't think I want to know," Callen said. Then despite himself, asked, "Deeks, were you stripping?"
"No!" Deeks insisted, glaring at Kensi again. "I was not stripping. I was just...dancing." His tone was just a little too, or lot, defensive, and Callen's face switched from disturbed to dawning amusement.
"Wait, this isn't the first time you've done this, is it?" Chuckling nervously, Deeks brushed his hair out his eyes, then back again.
"Of course not. Kensi just asked me to dance and promised to-well you probably don't need to know what she promised. The point is, this has never happened before."
"Babe, just stop talking," Kensi begged, covering her face with her hand. "Callen, we're really sorry about the music and-"she gestured to Deeks in all his half-naked glory-"this. We forgot that you were here. But I promise nothing like this will ever happen again."
"Oh, you're not going to get out of this so easily," Callen said, smirking at them. Now that he'd gotten over his immediate horror, he seemed to be enjoying himself. "You definitely looked like you had some intimate experience with a pole."
"I've never pole danced," Deeks muttered under his breath.
"What do you want?" Kensi asked flatly as Callen rocked back on his heels.
"Oh, I don't know. Lunch for a week from my favorite restaurant."
"That place is over 45 minutes away," Kensi said as he nodded.
"I know. And-"
"And?" she interrupted. "You want more?"
"You're not getting off that easy," Callen reminded her.
"Just give him what he wants," Deeks said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He seemed resigned to their fate now.
"You'll also fill out my expense reports for a month." Kensi gasped, outraged, but Deeks just nodded and asked,
"And in exchange?"
"I won't breathe a word of this to anyone," Callen assured him.
"Not even Sam?"
"I'm a man of my word." Deeks scrutinized him for several moments and then nodded sharply again.
"Deal."
"Do you think you could put on a shirt?" Callen asked, gesturing to Deeks' still naked torso.
"Your nipples are kind of freaking me out." Deeks rolled his eyes, but complied, taking the time to fix his jeans as well.
"I can't believe you're blackmailing us," Kensi said and Callen shrugged.
"Well, I could always tell the rest of the team about your extracurricular activities."
"No!" Deeks said sharply. "I never want to think about this night again. Callen chuckled and started to head back up to his apartment.
"Remember, Deeks," he called over his shoulder, "the hips don't lie." Kensi groaned, walking over to Deeks and burying her head in his shoulder.
"This is not how I imagined tonight going at all," she said. Deeks glared back at the karaoke machine.
"I am burning that thing. And I am never, ever dancing like that again. I don't care how you try to entice me," he said adamantly. He dropped a kiss on her head and pulled back. As he resumed packing up the offending machine, Kensi watched the material of his jeans stretch and flex over his butt.
Somehow she thought she could change his mind. Cheered by that thought, Kensi helped him clean up without complaint. Their bedroom was more an adequate to accommodate a strip routine.
"Hips Don't Lie" is by Shakira. Which I'm sure everyone knows.
A/N: I'm not sure if the song quite fits, but I imagine Kensi getting a kick out of it.
