4Author's Note: A guest reviewer on my current O.C. story, "the grounding", provided me with this prompt: "Could you write a piece about the ride home from juvie. What was Kristen thinking and Ryan." This is probably not exactly what you had in mind, but the prompt kinda stuck with me and I figured why not? Just a quick one-shot where Kirsten is The Mom. Thank you for the prompt!
Before
Sandy would hate that they're doing this by themselves, so Kirsten doesn't tell him. They'll tell him later. She hustles her guests out of the house - sorry, ladies, family emergency - and, deftly ignoring Julie's scrutinizing gaze, meets Seth in the car within the promised fifteen minutes. It doesn't matter what rumors they decide to spread about her; what matters is her son.
Her son, who is slumped in the passenger's seat, doing his utter best to be stoic and silent. Kirsten slides into the driver's seat and looks at him, takes in every anxious angle of his face. Seth had started talking at ten months, looking up at her with bright, happy, intelligent eyes and saying mama mama mama. He hadn't stopped, not really, since.
"We're going to do this," She says, because she has to. "And then it's going to be back to normal. All right? No more trying to sneak out, none of that."
Seth rolls his eyes, like she can't see the tears glinting in them. "Because normal was so much better."
"Seth, you got drunk. You lied to us. And the model home?" Kirsten says, pulling on her seat belt and turning the key in the ignition. "None of this is like you."
"Having someone like me isn't like me, Mom," He says, and turns his face towards the window.
During
They wait for an hour and twenty-three minutes to be let in to see Ryan. Seth's leg doesn't stop bouncing the whole time.
"Next time, make an appointment, ma'am," The guard who leads them to the door says. He is tall and muscular and she sees the mace and the taser that he wears around his waist. And even though he's angry at her and has made no secret of it, she feels Seth at her back, pressed in tight like he was a kindergartner again and she was about to leave him in a place that was scary and unfamiliar.
Then he sees Ryan, and he leaves her. Like they always said would happen when she did drop him off at kindergarten - once he sees his friends, he won't even notice you're gone. Except, that day had never come in kindergarten, and eventually Sandy had taken over dropping him off so they could get through one day without her in tears.
When she steps over, Ryan can't even look at her. He looks young and scared and frail in that blue jumpsuit, surrounded by guys who are much bigger than him.
Guys who say things like - like that, while there are guards here.
And she knows there's panic in her voice when that guy starts approaching, and Ryan doesn't even hesitate. His whole body in front of her, in front of Seth, taking on the man - not a boy, how can he belong in the same place as Ryan when he completely dwarfs him, when his threats are I'll kill you, when there's a red and angry puncture wound on the side of Ryan's neck -
Seth is behind her again, close enough to touch, and for a minute as the guards haul Ryan past she sees her baby in the wide frightened eyes that flick to hers.
Ryan is just a kid. And his mother isn't here.
But she is.
After
Never mess with a mother on a mission. That's what the prison guards learn in the wake of Kirsten Cohen, who finally slams her purse down on a counter in front of some apathetic guard who keeps insisting guardians only and says, "Give me something to sign and then give me Ryan."
When Ryan is finally released to them, thankfully in one piece, Seth embraces him. "Dude, that was so intense," He says. Over Seth's shoulder, Ryan's eyes meet hers - uncertain, uncomfortable, but filled with gratitude.
On the ride home, Seth sits in the front seat, but he keeps craning around to look at Ryan, chattering non-stop with enthusiasm she hasn't heard from him in years. And every time Ryan catches her looking at him in the rear view mirror, he smiles - this small, timid, thank you of a smile - making it harder and harder for her to keep in mind he has a family, we just have to find them. His mother didn't know he was there. She didn't know. She'd gotten him out last time. She would have wanted to do it this time too.
When they pull into the driveway, Seth turns back around and looks at her as he says, "Dude, um, you any good at Jenga?"
"You can play video games with Ryan," Kirsten says, rolling her eyes as she pushes the door open. "Just don't tell your father."
Seth leans over and hugs her before she can get out of the car. It is quick and it catches her off guard, especially when he whispers, "Mom, you're so much better than Carol Brady. Carol Brady wishes she was as cool as you."
Forever
"We have to find his mother," Kirsten tells Sandy when he gets home.
She didn't know it yet - would never have imagined it then - but Ryan's mother was already right there.
