10Hikigaya Hachiman: The Omniscient Consultant
Complete Summary: "They say you are the person to go to when things don't make any sense." "I guess, I am." "They say you know everything about this world." "I wouldn't say everything. But I know more than your average human being." "Average human being?" She repeated his words and looked at him – half uncertain, half hopeful. "Are you saying, you are not a human being, Hikigaya-san?" "I never said that. " He lied with practiced ease. "I just said, I am not like the average human being." "Then can you help me? I have nowhere else to turn to and people will laugh at me or worse, think I am crazy. And I can't really blame them. Even now, I think I am losing my head. But what I am about to tell you is the absolute truth!" "Ah, then you have come to the right place." He looked at her with a smile, eyes blank of emotions. "Let's hear your request."
In a world, where the supernatural elements and the futuristic outlook and the hidden worlds are slowly starting to emerge and come out from the shadows and are looking to assimilate themselves in the normal, day to day existence, there is him.
Hachiman Hikigaya: The Omniscient Consultant.
"So how does your powers work?" Haruno Yukinoshita was blunt to the point. She crossed her legs. Hachiman watched her skirt move up her thighs a little. He kept his eyes strained to her face. "Can you read our minds? Are you a telepath? Is that it?" Then there was a teasing smile which showed up on her lips, as she pouted. "Ne, Hikigaya-kun, do you know what I am thinking right now?"
"I have no idea, Haruno-san. Though I can make a simple guess." Hachiman offered and looked deep into her eyes. "You are thinking how I can use this to my advantage. Am I correct?"
"Well you are certainly not a telepath, that's for sure." Haruno crossed her arms. "And in case you were wondering, I was thinking how you still look the same after all these years. I mean look at you!" She poked him in the ribs. "Apart from growing a few inches in height and gaining a bit more muscle mass, you look practically the same as back in high school."
"Did you become a victim of a vampire attack?" Yukino Yukinoshita asked. There was a playful tone in her voice, which he couldn't place. "I heard that you spent some time abroad over the past couple of years. It would explain the look in your eyes, which is still as rotten as that of a dead fish." Yukino covered her breasts, mockingly. "Suddenly, I fear for my chastity."
"No, I'm not a vampire. And if you are still a virgin after you finished both college and high school, then I bet you aren't going to throw it away over a guy giving you a rotten look." Hachiman said with a smile. "And most vampires aren't particular about virgins. Some are more into older women."
"Really? Is that a fact." Shizuka Hiratsuka slammed her hands on the table. Then she looked embarrassed and fidgeted. "But, I heard vampires bite and there's a lot of blood. And well, aren't they like a million years old? Wouldn't it be like going after a minor?"
"Well, if they all think about that, then they would never get laid." Hachiman said with an air of experience. "And trust me, you don't want to deal with a sexually frustrated vampire or a demon lord or a God or a…well, it's actually a pretty long list. But what I'm trying to say is this!" He looked at her, right in the eye. "Both parties have to be eighteen years old or above! Anything below and you end up in jail. Isn't that right Saki?"
"Yeah, I guess." Saki Kawasaki blushed. He had been calling them by their first names the entire time. Must have been something he picked up abroad. She tried not to think much about it as she ventured a guess with her own line of work. "How about those special contractors or high level espers? Do you have superpowers like that?"
"Hmmm. Well, it is somewhat like that. But not exactly." Hachiman had to think. "But, good guess, Saki. You were almost too close. That just shows how much you know and how much you have learned because of your work."
Saki Kawasaki blushed. Since when he had become so good, dishing out compliments, she wondered. And it looked like he really meant it. "Well, your name has cropped up multiple times in the police files."
"Saki when you say it like that, you make me sound like a criminal." Hachiman said.
"Ah, sorry." Saki Kawasaki looked at the others. "He lends his services as a consultant on multiple investigative teams. He is on the good side, that's what I meant to say. So please don't misunderstand."
"Services?" Yui Yuigahama piped up cheerfully. "Hikki, do you run a one-man service club? Did you miss us that much?" She looked at him, her eyes glowing with emotion. "You dummy, you could have always given me a call! I would have done something to cheer you up."
"I think you are doing a lot to spread the cheer in the world, Yui." Hachiman stated. "You look out for people and take care of the community and try your best to make everyone happy. That's something I always thought you would be good at."
"Thanks Hikki!" Yui Yuigahama smiled.
Miura nudged her in the sides with her elbow."Hey, don't take all the credit, Yui. I help you out too, you know. It's a team effort." Then Miura Yumiko turned to Hachiman with her emerald eyes. "Are you sure you have abilities, Hikio? I mean, don't get me wrong. There are more and more people showing up with these special abilities and all this future tech and theories and knowhow and it is certainly very real and has become a part of our everyday life. But truth be told, I don't really see you as someone special."
"I never said I was special, Miura." Hachiman said. "And you are right, I don't really use my abilities all that much. In fact, I prefer to not use them at all."
"And why is that?" Miura asked. Now she was interested. "Are there some special weaknesses or limitations? I have heard, some abilities have time limits. Or maybe something you can use only once on a person." Then she made a face. "Or is it something more simple like superhuman strength and durability. I know!" She snapped her fingers. "You are invincible."
"I am none of those things. Like all abilities, even the ones which seem too powerful, still have certain limitations." Hachiman explained."The way I see it, it's like having a gun tucked in your back in the middle of a hostage situation. Yes, you might end up saving the lives of hostages in danger, by shooting the criminal. Or you might get shot yourself by the criminal. Or you might find yourself with a lot of dead hostages." He further elaborated. "And despite having a normal gun or a machine gun or a shotgun, it all comes down to the thought process of the person wielding the weapon in that situation."
"I understand. It all comes down to the person. In certain matters, he acts as the weapon." Meguri Shiromeguri looked at him, taking note of his physique. He didn't fidget under her curious scrutiny. "Have you undergone certain medical procedures that might have granted you powers?"
"Well, I was dead for five seconds, if that counts. I believe the medical term is clinically dead or something like that." Hachiman said with a mild chuckle. "And let me tell you, they are right about the bright lights. What they don't tell you is the-"
"Wait a second!" Iroha Isshiki jumped out from her seat. "Senpai, you were dead. How? What happened?"
"I don't know for sure. I think I was kidnapped and offered as a sacrifice for some unholy magical ritual. There were lot of pentagrams and other geometric patterns drawn on the floor where I was killed." Hachiman said with a morose tone, thinking. "But, yeah, I was killed. Lost a lot of blood. But then by some curse or a miracle as the good doctor said, I was only under for five seconds. Maybe longer. I really don't know what happened."
The atmosphere suddenly changed and he blamed himself for it. When Komachi and Rumi had hatched this plan behind his back to invite all of his past acquaintances to show up at his place as a sort of welcome party for returning back to the country, he hadn't exactly been thrilled. But throughout the night he had felt more at ease. At first, he thought, all this night, would be about telling lies and keeping secrets. But it certainly helped that, all of his guests were more involved in the rapid changes and the stark upheaval that was taking place throughout society as a whole. The world was getting smaller and one had to keep an open mind about what they didn't know and be humble enough to ask questions.
When Komachi had spoke about him and his powers in the middle of some idle chit chat, Hachiman had almost panicked. But with the way, all of them took it, he had been glad, almost grateful for how things were turning out.
And then, he had spoken about his death.
"I'm sorry." Hachiman looked at her. Out of all of them, he certainly didn't expect her to apologize. But there she was, Minami Sagami with a soft look in her eyes and almost an heartfelt apology on her lips. "You didn't deserve that, Hikigaya. There are a lot of people in this world who have done far worse, and far more rotten things than you. But, even if sometimes I wish they were dead, I don't wish death on you."
"Thanks, Sagami." Hachiman said and he meant it. "So, you wanna make a guess?"
"Well, you said, you died," Sagami said, as she rubbed her chin. "But here you are. So my guess would be, that you are some sort of a Shinigami? Or an exorcist. Or something with magical abilities."
"I think you are an alien." Hina Ebina said. "Or you had sex with an alien and became some sort of an alien human hybrid. You certainly fit the profile for an alien abduction. And no one would miss you or raise an alarm if you disappeared out of the blue."
"I'm not an alien." Hachiman replied.
"That's it?" Hina Ebina asked. "You went a little more in-depth with the others. So, why not go a bit more deep with me? Do you have tentacles?"
"You guys are so weird." Orimoto Kaori said. "I think he has some cool ability. But it has to be knowledge based. Because, he is really smart. I mean, I can't imagine Hikigaya, going around setting things on fire and slicing things up or doing something more weird and out of this world."
"So, you think, it's knowledge based." Hachiman looked at her and then smiled. "Since when did you become so smart, Orimoto?"
"So, I was right." Kaori Orimoto smiled. "You have like a high level intellect and you know a lot of stuff." Then she made a face. "That's kind of a letdown. I was expecting something cool."
"Well, knowing about people is cool." Hachiman felt the need to defend. "And it's pretty interesting to learn new stuff and try new things. It's like having a huge collection of shoes or a pretty big wardrobe."
"He sounds more and more like a girl." Ebina said to Yumiko Miura. "Do you think that's his superpower? He can change into women? That way he can always have a pair of -"
"I can't turn into women!" Hachiman slammed his hands on the table, making the cups and dishes rattle. Then, he looked down and hid his blush. "And it's not like I want to be a woman or anything."
Haruno looked at him with a blank face. For the first time in her life, she didn't know what to say to him. Yukino turned to her and talked about both their fears. "Did he sound a bit unhappy with the fact at not being able to turn into a woman?"
Haruno gave a silent nod.
"Hey, don't look at me like that." Hachiman said, blushing. "Some of the women, I met had a ton of interesting powers."
All the women turned to him in an instant. He suddenly found himself facing a different kind of scrutiny.
"How many women did you meet, Hikigaya-kun?" Yukino Yukinoshita leaned over, their faces almost touching. "And did you have sexual relationships with any of them?" Then her face drew back in horror. "Is that your power? You can seduce woman and have your rotten ways with them."
"It would certainly explain how he got all of us to come here, tonight." Haruno thought out loud. Then she turned to him "And you did mention before, that you didn't like using your powers."
"Are you a male succubus!" Ebina Hina asked, with a face full of heat. "Tell me, is that really a thing? I thought, all succubus were female. But did Hikitani, become the first male succubus!"
"I am not a succubus." Hachiman said. "And most succubus, as you said are females."
"Did you lose your virginity to a succubus?" Saki Kawasaki asked with a heated look in her eyes.
"Don't be an idiot, Kawasaki." Miura said. Then she turned to him. "You are still a virgin right, Hikio?"
Hachiman gulped. "Actually, you see. I was in abroad. And I kinda died a virgin the first time-" Hachiman thought after saying that he would get a modicum of sympathy. He didn't. All the girls looked at him as if he was justifying cold blooded murder.
He took a deep breath. "I am not."
There was a moment of silent.
"Was your first time with a boy or a girl?" Ebina asked.
Hachiman blinked. "I - shouldn't that be obvious?"
"He is deflecting." Orimoto said with a bright smile and huge thump on his back. "Oh, God, Hikigaya! I didn't know! Congratulations for finally being tru-"
"It was a woman!" Hachiman shouted. "It was a woman, dammit!"
"There's no need to be shy." Meguri Shiromeguri said. "It would certainly explain some of the things that happened in high school."
"He certainly didn't try to hide it." Sagami said. "He certainly watched Totsuka a lot. Playing. Tennis." Her smile was downright evil.
The rest of the night was spent in other frivolous conversations. Before long it was time for them to leave. Hachiman saw all the women out to the main exit and they all shared a few pleasant goodbyes and those last few laughs. Most of them made plans to meet up again in the near future and as was the purpose of this little party - all of them showed an interest in working with him on their respective work fronts.
Hachiman left them with a smile on his face.
"You are smiling a bit too much." Rumi said with a scowl on her face. "It's like you are really looking forward to seeing them. You were really acting like some perverted harem protagonist there for a moment."
"Don't be silly Rumi." Hachiman said, patting her in the head. "I'm not looking for a romantic relationship at the moment."
"You really haven't changed that much." Rumi gave an annoyed huff. The fact that she was now an eighteen years old woman, didn't seem to surprise the rest of their guests. Most of them definitely thought, she was someone else. Rumi didn't correct their assumptions. "All that knowledge and you still have no clue how to talk to women."
"Well like I said, I'm no mind reader." Hachiman pointed out.
"But, you can be." Rumi said. "You can be anyone."
"You know there's a catch." Hachiman gave her look. "After all aren't you from the future?"
Rumi nodded her head, then looked away. "Does this mean you are gonna cancel our partnership, Hachiman?"
Hachiman smiled. "Don't be silly, Rumi. I would be lost without you!"
"…" Rumi stayed silent for a minute. Then she turned around and walked back inside and closed the door shut on his face.
"…Rumi?" Hachiman said. Then he gave a tentative knock. "Rumi, c'mon! You can't kick me out of my own house!"
There was no answer.
Then a window opened and he thought there was some hope left in this world. "Komachi, please let your Onii-chan come inside. You - "
"- You know, Onii-chan, just because, I am from a parallel dimension, doesn't mean that you can make a pass at me. That's just gross." Then before she closed the window, Komachi fulfilled her duty as the little sister and gave her brother some advice. "And if you want to go after some women, you are free to try your luck with the women we invited tonight!"
Hachiman Hikigaya watched her shut the window from the inside. A cold breeze blew and he shivered. Really, what was the world coming too, he thought with a wry chuckle at his predicament.
He could have used his powers. But there was the catch. Moreover, he wanted to lead a normal life even though it was not possible. He knew too much. He knew too little. He was a living breathing contradiction. The man with too much power, the man with no power at all. The one who could know everything, the one who knew almost nothing.
In the end, he took out a pair of dice from his pockets – as had become a bad habit of his to stop himself from thinking too much- and he started to bouncep them in the air to kill time and beat the cold with the same wry smile on his face.
Five minutes later, both Rumi and Komachi opened the door and welcomed him back inside.
"You really are an idiot." Rumi said.
"Komachi agrees."
"Well, this idiot is still the world's only omniscient consultant." Hachiman shook his head. "For all you know, I might have known that you were gonna let me in!"
"I doubt that."
"Komachi agrees!"
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A/N: Now this is a misleading chapter, because I wanted to write something quick and fast tonight. This fic won't be a harem. It will have Hachiman solving interesting cases with the different woman in his lives. But don't worry, there will be some romantic elements and depending on the chapters this might become a romance in the future.
But the main focus is gonna be on the mystery elements.
With that said, I want all the women to have some sort of career or work or job that might lead them to seek out Hachiman with interesting and mysterious cases. For the moment, I have a few in mind.
Saki Kawasaki: Detective (Special Branch)
Meguri Shiromeguri: Scientist/ Researcher.
Sagami Minami: Vigilante/Bounty Hunter.
Yui Yuigahama: Social Worker.
Hiratsuka Shizuka: Teacher
Hina Ebina: Ethical Hacker/ Hacktivist
Yukino Yukinoshita: NGO and Outreach Programmes.
Haruno Yukinoshita: Mediator/Arbitrator.
But it's the others that I don't know what to do about.
So please pick the careers of:
Isshiki Iroha: ?
Miura Yumiko: ?
Orimoto Kaori: ?
With that said, please pick one of the options from above (Not gonna tell, which girl, will go on which mystery and get involved with which other series or it will spoil the fun. You will just have to throw the dice and roll with it.)
Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.
Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.
Won't betray your dreams.
Arc Options:
Option 1: Noragami.
Option 2: Durarara.
Please pick one.
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