" Do not dwell in the past"

Chapter 1. Fear of what may be lost.

Things have been different between them lately. It was true that the first months since he came back from the island… they've been cautious, she was.. she's till guarded around him. She's afraid of him hurting her again, of leaving her. As if he was capable of such a thing… he couldn't even imagine not living close to her anymore. He couldn't imagine waking up each morning and not being able to see her at work, not being able to see those emerald eyes, not being able to make her laugh or make her frown at his stupid jokes.

On the other hand, he was different around her. He didn't have a reason to hide his feelings for her.

'Feelings', he whispered to himself and he laughed at that word.

He doubted there was a word in English or any other language which was able to express the extent of his feelings towards her. He has succumbed to those feelings a long time ago. He accepted them and he embraced them when he was isolated in that island, not being able to see her for two long (never ending) years.

But, the fact was that he hasn't make a move on her since he came back and they started working together for the FBI. He could guess what she feels for him but, he couldn't hurt her again. He knew she deserved better than what he could possibly offer her.

So, he let those months pass without doing anything, just standing close to her like he's been doing for the last 12 years they'd worked together in the CBI. He could live with it. He could live with… just being her closest friend, her confident, her partner.

Or that was he thought.

Until that morning when all hell broke loose in their quarters of the FBI.

7 hours earlier.

'Jane… Jane, stop that', she barked at him.

But he didn't stop. He could hear her smile hiding in her angry voice. He just have to tease her a little bit more. It was always like that. A bit of teasing, some jokes… just to make her laugh. Just like old times.

'Stop what, agent Lisbon?', he asked her while he poked her again with a flower he's found this morning in her garden when he went to look for her as each morning.

'Jane, I'm trying to work here, don't you see?', she asked him avoiding his face,' are you familiar with that word? Work?

'There's a big difference between work', he whispered to her, ' and being addicted to work, Lisbon?

She continued ignoring him. And then, he used his best trick.

He moved to the front of her desk so she could see him. She looked at him suspiciously and then, he drew a bunch of flowers from his jacket.

She gasped at him in surprise and delight.

'How the hell did you keep them there intact?', she asked him smiling at him.

He put them in front of her with his best "Patrick Jane" smile and she laughed.

God, he loves her laugh so much.

If only he..

'It's not appropriate for partners to give flowers to each other', she murmured blushing when she realised what he's just done.

'And when have I ever, and I remark, ever…. When have I ever care about what is correct or not?', he asked her but he knew she was ignoring him again.

Well, at least, she's laughed. He's made her happy, if only for a few seconds.

He lay down on the couch next to her and sighed.

He felt it was gonna be one of those boring days.

Surprisingly, and unfortunately, he couldn't have been more wrong.

.…..

'Hi guys, listen there is something I must tell you', said Cho as he moved to them. He looked stressed. Or, let's say, his stoic face was showing what he called Cho's anxious mood.

And he didn't like it. The few time he's seen that face in the Asian man were those times when the team was in danger. And by the way he looked at Lisbon… those times when Teresa Lisbon was in danger.

'What's wrong, Kimball'?, asked Lisbon gently.

But just before Cho could answer.

The answer showed itself.

Right there, in front of them, was a ghost from their past. Someone he was sure they wouldn't ever see again in their lives.

'Good morning, Teresa. It's good to see you…. You're, as usual, amazingly beautiful today… I can't believe it's been more than three years since the last time I saw you', said the man standing in front of Lisbon's desk.

Volker.

With his creepy and evil smile.

…..

He noticed his hands were still shaking after that encounter.

He noticed too that Lisbon was getting more anxious with every second it passed.

'He made a deal', said Abbot looking upset, 'I just knew about it. Something about giving information about a group of terrorists, of terrorists specialised in ciber attacks. You know how… FBI works"

'He's a fucking psycopath', he growled at their boss, who didn't look too pleased with the situation, ' and he's… you know why he's come here. You know why he has requested these quarters'

They both looked at the reason who has stood a few minutes ago. Lisbon was looking at the window of Abbot's office.

'It's a nice view', she whispered with a broken voice, ' I love it'

It was the first thing she's said in three hours.

Abbot looked down at his desk and moved some papers. He tried to look confident, he knew he had to, for the shake of his unit.

Jane, on the other hand, was calculating their next move.

There was no way Volker was coming closer to Lisbon. Not again.

'Lisbon', said Abbot, 'You're not in any anger. We're the FBI. We're…'

She turned to them and he felt he could cry at the sight. Her emerald eyes were glimmering with unshed tears, her cheeks were white as if she was about to faint, her lips were slightly parted. He could feel her despair, her anger, her rage, her fear.

And yet, she looked more beautiful than ever.

And once more, she managed to break his calm with her next words.

'There's no way I'm gonna let him kill again. Not a woman. Not a child. Not a man', she said looking fierce and broken, 'even if it means, I'm going to drag him to hell myself'

She did it again.

Once more, he was scared to death for her.

But this time, he wasn't gonna let her face it on her own.

To be continued….