9Suggested by mashmaiden for Deeks using this prompt: Gotta love a whumpee who "overreacts" to a situation and the others get mad or judge them for it, only for a secret to be revealed that explains their sensitivity to an old trauma and the others feel guilty for not even trying to understand them
This takes place in season 5 after Kensi is sent to Afghanistan and post Sidorov.
"Geez Deeks, that guy took you down," Sam crowed, chuckling at Deeks' misfortune. "For a minute there I didn't think you were gonna get back up."
"Oh, go easy on him," Callen said, but there was amusement in his voice too. "The guy was pretty big."
"Thanks," Deeks muttered darkly, gingerly touching his jaw. As Callen and Sam continued to joke, he wondered back to his desk, quietly opening his computer.
His eyes blurred as he stared at the screen, willing himself not to go back to a darkened garage. Without thinking, he tongued each of his new teeth-courtesy of Sidorov-feeling for any looseness. Fortunately they all seemed intact; he didn't think he go through another round of dentist visits again.
It was the first time he'd been punched in the face since returning from his unplanned sabbatical. Deeks supposed he was lucky that it hadn't happened sooner, but it had still completely thrown him off kilter. Phantom pain had exploded through his face and he'd found himself cowering on the floor for a second before he remembered to respond.
That's when Sam and Callen had stepped in, taking out the muscly gun for hire and slinging jokes at Deeks' expense. It took all his energy to make it through processing the scene without crumpling into a hysterical mess.
"C'mon, Deeks, don't pout," Sam said a few minutes later. Deeks barely heard him, his aching jaw taking all his attention. Maybe that was why he didn't notice him approaching until Sam was right in front of him.
He reached out, just barely making contact with his skin and Deeks slapped his hand away, jerking to his feet. Distantly, he heard his chair tip over with a loud clatter.
"What the hell are you doing?" he spat out, barely recognizing his own voice. His heart was racing, pulse pounding in his ears.
"Deeks, relax man," Sam said, looking incredulous and vaguely concerned. "I was just checking to see if anything's broken."
"I'm fine," Deeks responded, desperately needing to get out of there. Callen hovered behind Sam, concerned too and it was all too much.
"Deeks..." Callen called, half warning, half plea as he grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder.
"I going home," he said tersely. His unease was quickly turning into anger and he knew he needed to leave before he said something he'd regret. Hetty could fire him for leaving without filing his report if she wanted.
Instead of heading home, he went to the beach and rented some surfing gear. It wasn't a particularly good day for surfing, but just being out in the water calmed him more than just about anything.
Well, besides Kensi maybe. But that wasn't an option right now. He wondered how she would have reacted to this afternoon. He was almost certain she would have realized what was going on within a few minutes. Certainly once she saw his face.
Deeks sighed, paddling back to the shore. He was not looking forward to sleeping tonight. In the last couple months he'd finally gotten a bit of control over his nightmares; they only cropped up once every couple weeks. He had a feeling his reprieve was about to end.
Callen was sitting on his front step when he returned and Deeks let out an expletive under his breath. His expression suggested he thought he knew exactly what was going on. Deeks bypassed him and started unlocking his front door.
"I don't really feel like talking." Rather than taking the hint, Callen got up and followed him into his apartment.
"You want to talk about what happened today?" he asked. Deeks rolled his eyes and grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge. He didn't feel like drinking, but he needed to do something. He handed one to Callen and let the cool glass of the other chill his hands.
"Nope."
"I saw your face when Sam touched you," Callen prodded relentlessly. "What did you think he was going to do?"
"Remember how I said I don't want to talk about it?"
"I could always tell Hetty. I'm sure she'd like to have you speak with a psychologist, maybe take a couple days to get a handle on whatever is going on." At that Deeks spun around, a resurgence of anger taking hold of him again.
"Fine. You want to know what happened today? A guy punched me in the face and suddenly I had two psychopathic Russians drilling holes in my teeth again," Deeks said, feeling a morbid sense of pleasure at Callen's shocked expression.
"Deeks, I didn't even think...we didn't know," Callen said, uncharacteristically stumbling over his words.
"Well, now you do." The anger left him just as quickly as it had come, leaving him feeling drained.
"So when Sam touched you...?"
"I flashed back," he answered, sinking into a chair and gesturing for Callen to do the same. He remained standing instead.
"How often does this happen?" Callen followed up and Deeks thought he heard a note of censure in his voice. Obviously he'd think of the possible repercussions. Just like when Deeks had been struggling the first time.
"This is the first time since I came back," Deeks told him, deciding to leave out the moments of uncertainty or when he had to force himself to get up and go to work. "I guess I'm lucky I haven't taken a direct hit in months." He smiled grimly and Callen looked down at him with what he realized was concern.
"As team leader, I have to ask, are you ok? Can you handle this or do I need to bench you for a couple days?" Sighing, Deeks rubbed his hands through his hair and then pressed his palms to his eyes, inadvertently brushing his swollen cheek. It reminded him once again of all he'd been through, all he'd fought for, in the last few months.
"What Sidorov did to me was one of the single worst things that's ever happened to me," Deeks started. If Callen thought it was strange that getting his teeth drilled out wasn't the worst thing to happen in his life, he didn't say anything. He simply waited for a few minutes while Deeks gathered his thoughts.
"That doesn't answer my question," he prompted eventually.
"I don't know," he answered honestly, finally looking up at Callen. He chuckled with bitter amusement. "But, hey, I made it through today. So that's good, right?"
"Deeks, we're worried about you. As much as we might ride you, if Sam and I had realized what was going on, you have to know we wouldn't have made a joke of it."
"Sure," Deeks said with a forced smile. "Just like you didn't throw a pair of fake teeth at me days after a couple guys took a drill to my mouth." Callen looked guilty for a second, but he refused to feel bad about it.
"That may not have been the best decision," Callen admitted. "But you know that's how we deal with hard times. We throw humor at it." Deeks didn't say anything to that. Somehow he didn't think Callen would have found it even remotely funny if he'd zapped Sam with a stun baton.
"So are you benching me?" Deeks asked, getting back to the crux of the matter. Callen hesitated, scrutinizing Deeks for several moments and then shook his head.
"No. But next time something like this happens, you need to let us know write away. It doesn't help anyone, least of all you, and could be dangerous."
"Yeah, I got it." Callen sighed and set his untouched beer on the counter.
"Deeks, I'm not just saying this as teammate. I'm saying this as someone who does care about your well-being. I'm saying this as a friend," Callen said. Deeks looked up sharply at the last part. A part of him wondered if Callen wasn't just saying it out of an over-abundance of guilt.
He didn't have the energy to argue it though.
"Ok," he agreed. Callen nodded, not looking particularly assured by Deeks' response.
"Well, I should get going. Call if you need anything."
"See you tomorrow," Deeks said with a stubbornness he didn't quite feel. Callen just shook his head as he let himself out.
A/N: I've never really been certain on the timeline for Descent/Ascension, but realistically I think it would have to be at least a couple days.
