22"Uma, if you think we're going to stick it out through this, then you are sorely mistaken!" Audrey cried, and Uma simply snorted in reply as she took a swig of a can of soda. The raccoons had fortunately not taken any of the soda cans. It was presumably because the aluminum was not edible.
Ever since the other four had awoken this morning, Audrey had been fussing and ranting and raging about how she could not possibly under any conditions remain at the campsite. Even Jane appeared as if she had her fill of the complaining, despite the fact that she seemed to agree with Audrey's opinions on the subject of remaining at the campsite.
"Well, then why don't you call ol' Alfalfa to come pick you up?" Uma suggested, and she finished off her can with a lick of her lips.
"I have no internet connection, Uma! NONE! And his name's Alfred!" Audrey cried, correcting Uma about the butler's name, and the pirate shrugged with a grin as she stood up from her place on a log near the fire pit. Audrey shook her head rapidly as she started to pace.
"We have no food! We have no way to get food! We're going to starve!" Audrey exclaimed dramatically, and Mal raised an eyebrow at her.
"And more importantly, we have no wifi!" All of the girls just stared at Audrey, unimpressed with her prioritizing. Audrey shrugged a bit, crossing her arms over her chest somewhat defensively as she huffed.
"Food was the dealbreaker, though," Audrey proclaimed haughtily, and Uma rolled her eyes as she straightened and looked around the campsite.
"Now, princess, the way I look at it is that animals manage to eat out here, so we can, too," Uma explained, and Audrey just stared at the pirate as if she were completely out of her mind.
"But those are animals! We are people! And some of us are people with very refined palates and sophisticated diets!" Audrey whined, and Evie raised her eyebrows as she looked at Mal from their position sitting on the other side of the fire.
"Talk about a drama queen," Evie murmured to Mal, and Mal grinned mischievously at her best friend as she nudged the bluenette's shoulder.
"I don't think you have any room to talk, Jimbo-spotter," Mal referenced what had happened just that past night, and Evie looked at Mal affectionately with a tilt of her head.
"But I'm not that bad," Evie chuckled, and Mal shook her head with a slight shrug.
"Sometimes," Mal deadpanned, holding back her smile as she messed with Evie.
"Sometimes?!" Evie faked offense as she looked over at her little sister with a playful gaze. Mal just wrapped an arm around Evie affectionately, giving her a quick squeeze of reassurance.
"I love you, though," Mal assured her lovingly, and Evie beamed as Mal pulled away slightly to keep talking to her.
"Yo, Siamese twins?!" Uma interrupted their talking quickly, and the two looked at Uma, curious as to what she wanted.
"I'm going to go and find us some food. Y'all gonna help?" Uma questioned, and Mal nodded, getting up to accompany Uma. Evie quickly followed, ready to help Mal with anything she needed.
"No, no! Mal, you tell her we're going home now!" the pink princess demanded, and Mal watched Audrey for a moment before shaking her head regretfully.
"I'm sorry, Audrey, but I told Uma I'd stick with her. Besides, I'm kind of interested about how she's planning on doing this," Mal acknowledged, looking over at Uma with a smirk.
"That's my girl!" Uma grinned widely, high-fiving Mal and clasping her hand with the faerie's for a moment before allowing her digits to slip from Mal's own. Uma then settled for watching Audrey with a victorious grin.
Audrey huffed and puffed for a moment before looking to Evie in an act of pure desperation.
"Come on, Evie. Fellow woman of propriety and civilization, back me up here," Audrey pleaded, and Evie quietly looked between the pink princess and Mal before shaking her head quickly, looping her arm through Mal's.
"I'm sorry, Audrey, but I have to stick with my best friend. I can't leave Mal out here by herself."
"Ugh! You're such a brown-nosing suck-up!" Audrey insulted in the midst of her pure frustration at the fact that she was getting effectively outvoted by the VKs. Audrey knew that Jane was on her side, and she had really hoped that Evie would join her, despite the fact that she knew that would never happen realistically.
"I prefer to call it loyalty," Evie expressed, and Mal gazed at Evie lovingly. Evie puffed up a bit before Mal's approving gaze, looking quite pleased with herself indeed.
"Okay, princess, have you gotten your answer now? Let's go forage," Uma proclaimed proudly, heading out and the others starting to follow.
"Oh, wait a minute, girls! I brought some books that might help us!" Evie cried suddenly, interrupting them, and she hurried to her Jeep, withdrawing a few hard-cover books from underneath Mal's seat. Evie shut the door swiftly and strode back over to them.
Mal stared at her best friend somewhat blankly, shocked that Evie had seriously stored books in the car. Evie stood there before her, just looking at them with that usual sparkle in her eyes.
"So you thought you'd pack a few books for camping, huh?" Mal asked affectionately, knowing Evie's nigh obsession with being perfectly prepared. Evie wasted no time in nodding.
"Actually, there's books underneath all of our seats just in case of emergency," Evie answered with an easy smile, and all of the girls stared at her somewhat strangely.
"So what? Have you just made your car into a portable library or something?" Uma questioned and took a book, raising an eyebrow as she eyed the bluenette.
"I guess you could say that," Evie shrugged nonchalantly, and they started off down a beaten path leading further into the woods. Uma flipped through the book that she had taken from Evie.
"Hmm… A book of poisonous and safe nuts that naturally grow in the wild," Uma read aloud to the girls, pursing her lips as she considered the book. Evie opened the other book in her arms that Uma had not confiscated, and Mal leaned her head against Evie's arm to see what was written in it.
"This is a book of berries that complements the book you have," Evie pointed out, and Uma nodded slowly.
"Okay…" Uma happened to look to the side and she spotted a bunch of berries on some greenery on a nearby tree.
"Yo, Blue, tell us about this berry," Uma told Evie, plucking one from the plant as she held it out to the taller girl. Evie examined it carefully before flipping through her book.
Before long, she found an entry for the berry, and she smiled widely as she started to read.
"This is a berry from the Hedera Helix or the common ivy. The Hedera Helix is a plant common to most of Auradon, and it is a species of flowering plant in the family Araliaceae."
"Okay, so guess what? I really don't care about the plant," Uma expressed, and Evie flashed her the barest of glances before continuing.
"It is a climbing plant and its berries are small, greenish-white, and grow in umbrella-shaped clusters," Evie explained, and Uma rolled her eyes, examining the berry for herself, and coming to the conclusion that it was likely safe, but Evie was taking entirely too long to get to that part.
"Many birds eat these berries and distribute them throughout the forest-"
"Birds eat them? Oh, well, they're safe," Uma acknowledged before popping one into her mouth swiftly.
"No, Uma, don't! It says it's poison!" Mal screeched, finally reaching the part about the berry's poisonous qualities or lack thereof. Uma's eyes widened and she spit the berry on the ground, wrinkling her nose as she spat a considerable amount of saliva onto the ground.
"Ew, man, that was gross! Even I could tell you that was poison! That stuff tasted like poison!" Uma proclaimed, and Audrey was already panicking.
"Uma's going to die and we're still going to be stuck out here because we'll have a tie between people staying out and going back home!" Audrey cried.
"Gee, thanks for worrying about my wellbeing!" Uma sarcastically pointed out. Uma spit again, and Evie held out a hand as she reached another part of the passage on that berry.
"Audrey, don't worry! It'll be okay! It says that it's rare that a person ingests enough of the berry for its poison to take effect because it tastes so bad," Evie finished, and Uma just looked at Evie as if she had lost her mind as she spit once more.
"Yeah, it was nasty. That's why I didn't swallow it," Uma explained, and Evie sighed in relief. Audrey just shook her head worriedly.
"Look, you guys, Uma's already almost died and I'm honestly scared to look for anything else to eat. Why don't we just go home?!" Audrey demanded, and Uma shook her head in dismissal.
"I did not almost die. I am tougher than you think, princess. I've eaten half-rotted fish before, and look at me. I'm thriving. A little bit of nasty food helps toughen you up a little bit," Uma explained to the pink princess, and Audrey wrinkled her nose in pure disgust. However, Uma didn't focus on this as she furrowed her brow in thought.
"Speaking of fish… I wonder if there's any water around here that we could try to catch fish from," Uma spoke her thoughts aloud. Audrey immediately looked at Mal pleadingly, mentally begging the girl to avoid informing Uma of the river that they had found.
"Actually, me and Audrey found a river yesterday evening when we were looking for supplies for our fire pit," Mal expressed, and Audrey groaned deeply. Uma grinned immediately and looked at Mal happily.
"Awesome. Show me," Uma spoke, and Mal led the group to the river, Evie still looking through her books and Audrey as well as Jane trailing along in the back of the caravan of girls.
Soon enough, they ended up to the side of the river, and Uma was starting to take off her shoes.
"What are you doing, Uma?" Jane asked tentatively, and Uma just raised an eyebrow as she rolled up her pantlegs to her knees.
"I'm going fishing," Uma told her simply, and Jane looked at her blankly for a moment.
"How are you going to do that? You don't have a pole," Jane pointed out uncertainly, and Uma just chuckled, shaking her head at the shorter girl as she straightened.
"I'm gonna catch them without a pole," Uma explained, and Jane's eyes widened in shock. Audrey just rolled her eyes and snorted, and Mal and Evie shared an uncertain glance.
"With your bare hands? Pfft, I'd love to see that. Go for it, Davey Crockett," Audrey sassed, still giggling at the thought of Uma going out into the water to catch fish without any help.
"It's Davey Jones to you, land-lover," Uma replied with a smirk before heading out into the water. Mal shook her head, looking at Evie.
"This is not going to go well," Mal voiced her opinion on the subject quietly, and Evie nodded slightly in agreement as she flipped through one of the books.
Uma stood out in the middle of the rushing river water and she kneeled down, trying to see if she could spot any fish. To her joy, there were plenty of fish flowing downstream toward her.
"Hey, there's plenty of fish," Uma called, and all of the girls nodded. Uma huffed as they made no move to accompany her.
"Y'all comin' in to help?" Uma questioned, and the girls shook their heads.
"Honestly, we want to see you catch a fish without a net or a pole," Mal replied to the pirate, and Uma rolled her eyes as she withdrew her large pocketknife from her pants pocket.
"I think y'all are just chicken, but whatever. I'll show you how it's done," Uma announced, bracing her legs in the water firmly.
"Just watch the master," Uma pronounced before readying herself and centering her gaze on a fish coming her way.
As soon as it grew close enough, Uma dove forward and attempted to stab the fish. She jus narrowly missed it, but she spun quickly, hurrying after it as swiftly as she could with her knife at the ready.
"You're using a knife?! That's cheating! You're supposed to get it without tools!" Audrey cried, and Uma chased the fish.
"I never said without tools! I said without a fishing pole!" Uma replied before diving after the fish.
However, she missed the fish by a mile, and instead crashed into the water face-first. When she reemerged, she quickly realized everyone was laughing at her. Uma narrowed her eyes as she stood back up in the water.
She then turned back around, readying herself to try for another.
"Uma, why don't you come back? We'll go looking for some nuts and berries instead," Evie called, and Uma could hear the laugh in the bluenette's voice. Uma just shook her eyes, gritting her teeth as she felt a growing determination in her to catch the fish.
Uma soon zeroed in on her next target and she made a mad dive for the creature, her knife at the ready. To her immense satisfaction and everyone else's pure surprise, Uma made a quick and clean kill out of the fish. She then turned back to the others, raising the dead fish in the air as she waded back to the girls, stepping onto the smooth rocks of the shore.
Audrey immediately stepped back, wrinkling her nose as she stared at the fish. Uma grinned as she jutted out her prize on the end of her knife as she shoved it into Audrey's face.
"EW!" Audrey squealed, jumping away from the pirate's fish that she had caught.
"So, Jane, is my name still Shrimpy?" Uma questioned, waving the fish over toward the fairy. Jane leaned backward away from Uma, shaking her head swiftly as she covered her nose at the smell of the fish.
"I've got to give it to you, Uma. That was awesome," Mal complimented, nodding to Uma proudly, and Uma allowed herself to smile a bit at the praise as she sat the fish on the ground. Evie nodded to Uma with a slight grin, reinforcing Mal's words.
"So, any of the rest of you aiming on catching some fish?" Uma questioned, and Mal shook her head as soon as the pirate asked. After all, Mal was still very much afraid of water.
"Oh, come on, you giant pansies. Are you scared of killing fish? It's the same as fishing with a pole. The knife actually is more painless because it kills them instantly instead of letting them suffocate while you're eyeing them hanging on the end of the line," Uma explained, and Mal shook her head slightly.
"I know it's quick, but that's not the problem. What I'm thinking is that we're going to need to collect more than just fish to eat," Mal explained, and Uma rolled her eyes at the faerie.
"So I'm thinking that you and Jane stay here and help Uma. Me and Evie are going to go and look for some nuts and berries," Mal informed them, and Jane nodded slightly. However, Audrey did not agree nearly as easily. Her eyes widened as she gazed at the fish lying there on the ground before her.
"Help Uma?! Help her?! How am I supposed to help her?!"
"I've got extra knives," Uma offered, holding out a black knife to the pink princess, and Audrey withdrew immediately.
"Have you lost your mind?!"
"Well, if you're not going to help her, at least keep an eye on her. You two know how to swim pretty well, so if she were to have an emergency, you two could help her," Mal explained, taking Evie's arm gently, and Audrey just groaned.
"Ugh… I can't believe you two are leaving me with her!"
"Aw, come on, Audy. We get some quality time together, and you've got to be a little complainer. Don't you love me?" Uma questioned, and Mal and Evie shook their heads, heading off into the woods.
"Not enough to turn savage!" Audrey cried, her voice soon drowning out a bit as Evie and Mal headed deeper into the forest.
The two best friends walked along the path, looking along the side of the road and in the bushes as they attempted to find possible food sources. Mal squeezed Evie's arm affectionately as she pulled away from Evie to examine a berry bush nearby. She picked one from the greenery and brought it over to her sister.
"Here, E. Check this one out," Mal showed it to the bluenette. Evie eyed it for a moment before flipping through her book. Mal was quiet for a moment, unable to help thinking of Uma and her insane yet amazing antics.
"Can you believe she seriously stabbed a fish with a knife and didn't kill herself in the process?" Mal asked, and Evie shook her head with a grin.
"No and yes," Evie replied, and Mal chuckled at Evie, lightly bumping her shoulder into that of the other girl's.
"Wow, a real old-fashioned enigma, aren't you?" Mal teased, and Evie just chuckled in reply as she smiled lovingly at Mal.
"I try to keep it interesting," Evie replied playfully, and Mal just grinned at the taller girl before Evie suddenly paused on a page.
Mal examined the page, scanning it as she looked for whether the berry was poisonous or not. She wasn't aiming on falling prey to the same thing Uma had.
"Okay… So this looks a lot like the berry you've got," Evie pointed out, and Mal finally spotted that it wasn't poisonous.
"Oh, M, it's a blackberry," Evie pointed out as she placed her finger just beneath the words written on the page.
"Huh, I was thinking that it looked a lot like one," Mal commented as she popped the berry into her mouth, enjoying its sweet taste. It was definitely a blackberry, and certainly not poison.
"Hey, M?" Evie suddenly spoke, and Mal looked up at Evie, her mouth a bit stained with blackberry juice as she reached up and wiped at it just barely.
"Huh?"
"The blackberries are everywhere," Evie pointed out, reaching out and placing her hand on Mal's back. Mal looked around the thicket that they had found themselves in, noticing that they were currently surrounded entirely by blackberry bushes.
Mal and Evie looked at each other and shared a giant grin.
They were about to bring in a ton of food for their group.
A/N: Well, Uma's went insane. This whole no food for a whole night and morning has been getting to her majorly obviously. But I guess stabbing the fish is just the same or better than with the pole. However, with the pole, you do have the option of throwing it back… But I guess she's feeding the group, though, in her own mind, lol. XD I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you thought!
