28A/N: A little silliness as a distraction from all the craziness.
Easter Fools
Saturday night, the eve of Easter
"So let me understand this," Carina said, her forehead cupped in one hand, her other hand extended like a traffic cop's stopping traffic, "you want to play an Easter Fools' joke on Chuck, your husband?"
Sarah leaned forward in her seated position on the couch, nodding eagerly, smiling. "Exactly, an Easter Fools' joke."
"Sarah, Blondie, I know you're like all deliriously in love and you have some kind of mushy sex brain, but there is no Easter Fools' Day. Oh, and just in case: there is no Easter Bunny."
Sarah looked severely disappointed. When Carina gasped, Sarah started chuckling. Just a bit at first, her lips smiling, and then the laughter overtook her body. Carina let out a long, annoyed sigh.
"Easter Fools', Carina!"
"Sarah," Carina said, shaking her head, "there is no such thing."
"Then how could I have just gotten you?'
Carina fell into the armchair near the couch. They were seated in Chuck and Sarah's apartment. Carina looked at her friend who was still hiccuping with laughter, but silently.
"So, you know there's no Easter Fools' Day, right?"
Sarah shrugged. "I owe my husband. On April Fools' Day, I was sitting here, on the couch, reading my book," Sarah gestured to a book on pregnancy and a look of horror crossed Carina's face as she peered at it, "when Chuck came running out of the shower, buck naked except for suds in his hair and...a couple of other places...screaming, 'Snake, snake, snake'."
Carina had stiffened in her chair. Sarah noticed. "No, no, you are forbidden from making a mental image…"
Carina smirked devilishly and moved herself a little side-to-side in the chair. "Snake, really?"
Sarah narrowed her eyes at Carina. "Don't make me hurt you, Carina."
"Oh, C'mon, you never share. It's like being besties with a Garden Gnome. So, green snake or...python?"
Sarah rolled her eyes. "I leave the herpetology to you, Carina. Suffice it to say my husband fills my needs, completely."
Carina wrinkled her nose in response, gazing around the apartment nervously. "Don't use that word, 'herpetology', in mixed company, Sarah, there are already rumors about me at the DEA…The walls have ears."
Sarah lowered her chin and gave Carina a hard look.
"All false, Sarah. The rumors. False. I don't...:"
Sarah started chuckling again. "Easter Fools'!"
Carina threw her hands in the air. "That man has made a mess of you, Sarah."
Sarah got herself under control and then fanned herself with her hand, cooing, softly, "Oh, Carina, oh, if you only knew the mess he can make of me…"
Carina sat up, leaning toward Sarah, her eyes bright. "Really?"
"Easter Fools! Like I would tell you secrets about Chuck and me…"
Carina sat back, glowering. "There is no Easter Fools'!"
Sarah grinned. "So, anyway, Chuck comes out all wet and sudsy — no images, Carina — screaming like a tiny girl at 4H Camp about a snake in the shower.
"So, I immediately grab a kitchen knife and run to the bathroom and throw back the shower curtain, and nothing...except Chuck laughing behind me and saying 'April Fools', April Fools'.' It terrified me — and he was falling down laughing...So, I owe him.
Carina smiled slightly, beginning to warm to the topic. "I see that. You do. So, what have you got planned?"
Sarah leaned back. "Well, you know Chuck and I have been working on getting pregnant?"
Carina shuddered. "'Working'? Yes, and you say I am the one studying…" — Carina lowered her voice — "...herpetology. I say you're the snake handler…"
"You're confusing herpetologists with Holiness worshipers, Carina."
Carina shrugged, uncaring. "So? Spill, Sarah…What's the plan for this made-up holiday?"
Sarah rubbed her hands together. "Well…"
Chuck came into the apartment. He had been out of town for a few days.
He was looking forward to Easter dinner at his mom's the next day. Sarah in Easter finery...Ellie and Devon and Clara were flying in from Chicago...Casey and Gertrude were in town and would bring Morgan and Alex.
He was tired but eager, above all, to see his wife, to see Sarah. He wasn't too tired to hope that they could work some more on getting pregnant. They had been working at it a while and, although it had frustrated them both at times that it had not happened, they had agreed that the work was worthwhile, so worthwhile, anyway.
It was the best possible work he could imagine and would be the perfect Welcome Home, back in his apartment, back in his bed, back in his Sarah's arms.
He unlocked the door and went inside. Sarah was sitting on the couch. She looked upset. And then Carina came into the room, coming from the hallway.
"Carina? What are you doing here?"
Carina looked strangely, uncharacteristically grave. She shifted her gaze to Sarah. "Are you going to tell him?"
Sarah nodded. "Chuck, I got some bad news while you were away. The doctor we went to, about our difficulties getting pregnant, she ran some tests and...it turns out I may not be able to get pregnant." Sarah's lips trembled. "She suggested that we think about a surrogate, and Carina showed up, and, well, she's agreed…"
Chuck did an involuntary impression of Sarah's goldfish, his mouth working soundlessly. Carina looked at him, nodding.
"Huh? What? Carina will do what?"
"Carry our child, Chuck. She'll be implanted with a fertilized egg, from me, and from you, and...you know the rest..."
"But...but...Sarah, I mean...Carina's great...and all. But this is huge news and a huge decision and I…"
Carina stepped forward, her face angry. "What? I'm not good enough to carry your baby, Chuckles?"
"No, no, No! I mean yes, yes, of course, you are but...Carina, it's not that. It's just that, you, you're still a DEA agent, an undercover DEA agent. Are you going to take months off to be pregnant with another couple's child?" Chuck looked lost, bewildered.
Sarah broke in. "We've talked about that Chuck. Carina is going to take a few months off and live with us here, the bedroom next to ours. That way, we can sort of enjoy the pregnancy vicariously."
"Carina's going to live with us here, pregnant with our child, but not working?"
"You'll never know I'm here, but we will have to work out some variant of the sock-on-the-door-knob signal because I'll be pregnant but still single. I can think of a lot of men who'd enjoy getting a crack at a...fuller-figured me."
Sarah nodded at Carina. "Maybe we can put a red night light in the hallway. You could plug it in when you have...gentlemen callers…"
Chuck's head was swiveling, Sarah to Carina to Sarah to Carina. "The next bedroom? Gentlemen callers? Red light? Fuller-figured? Crack at?"
Sarah sputtered. Chuck thought she was about to cry, then she began to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Carina fell into the armchair, laughing too. Chuck continued to swivel and sputter.
"Easter Fools'!" Sarah finally said between peals of laughter. Then Carina said it too, and she started laughing even more uproariously.
"Oh, oh, God, your face, Chuckles. You'd have thought I was Rosemary and offering to carry your baby."
"'Snake, snake!'" Sarah said in imitation of him. And then Chuck understood.
"But there's no such thing as Easter Fools' Day!"
Sarah and Carina answered in unison. "Then how could we have just gotten you?"
Carina, a few glasses of wine for the worse, got her things together to leave.
Sarah gave her a kiss and then sat back down on the couch.
Chuck took the last sip from his glass and walked her to the door.
She kissed his cheek. "Good to see you, as always, Chuck. I love that you make her so happy. She's her, you know, the real her. And that's because you never gave up and because she's so strong."
"Thanks, Carina."
"And sorry about the gag, but it was so funny that she wanted to do it, and on Easter."
"I had it coming. I know how fiercely she protects me. The snake was a bit much."
"According to her, the snake is just right…" Carina grinned lasciviously.
"Oh, so now you're a herpetologist?"
Carina's eyes narrowed. "Why does everyone keep using that term around me?"
Chuck looked around before whispering, "Casey says that there are rumors…"
"Chuck!" Carina smacked his chest.
He smiled. "Just kidding, Carina. Look forward to seeing you next time you come to town. I think I see your cab."
"Bye, Chuck," she said softly, then "Bye, Sarah!" more loudly.
Sarah answered from the living room. "Bye, Carina!"
Sarah was sweaty and delighted atop her husband. He had made a mess of her yet again. He wrapped her in his arms.
"That was a mean Easter Fools'."
She turned her head, pillowing it on his chest. "Yeah, but it was kinda funny. I'll never forget the look on your face."
Chuck laughed in concession. "Yeah, it was kinda funny. You sure had me."
"Spy, remember?"
"Former spy, don't forget."
"Haven't. I'm so happy to be out, Chuck. Free. I love Carina, but seeing her always makes me more sure, not less."
"Good. I love you so much, Sarah," he hugged her close and then he looked at his watch over her head. "Well, it's officially Easter."
"Good, because I need to tell you something. The doctor did call, Chuck, but not with bad news. Good news." She turned her head, facing him, a smile that lit the dark room, "I'm pregnant!"
Chuck went rigid. "Wait. Easter Fools'?"
"No, Chuck, no fooling. Well, there's been some fooling around, but no fooling. You're going to be a dad and I'm going to be a mom." The words seemed like an incantation as she spoke them, magical. "Are you happy?"
Chuck, for once, had no words, but his lips on hers said everything she hoped for and more.
It was a Happy Easter.
