2I do not own Deadpool.
I am not a cannibal.
On the Subject of Cannibalism
See, it was just all about self-sustainability.
Self-sustainability. Big buzzword nowadays.
Climate change. Renewable resources.
Farm to table.
Self-sustainability.
The world's resources were slowly getting drained, tapped out.
Finito-ed.
Leading to a variety of environmental and humanitarian problems.
Some countries were already experiencing food shortages.
Food deserts.
Which led to malnutrition, disease.
Starvation.
And really, Wade Wilson felt helpless to do anything at all about it.
He was just one man.
One simple, cancer-riddled, self-regenerating, man with accelerated healing powers.
And a willingness to do his part and help make the world a better place.
Hmmm . . .
"You know, if I was captured by cannibals and managed to explain the situation, they could have an endless supply of food."
The world's sexiest, most amazing, most patient bartender/former prostitute stood in front of her lovin' man.
"I mean, it would practically be a community service if you think about it."
Dark eyes calm and unalarmed.
Eyebrows raised just the barest bit in mild amusement.
"I mean, I think I could probably sustain a small village. Maybe not long term if they were particularly gluttonous or had hypoglycemia or something but, you know, we're all in this together, right? That's the tv ad s-"
Vanessa took the remote away from the rambling man she loved.
Clicked off the tv.
"Wade, you really need to stop watching all these documentaries during quarantine. There's better things to do."
And sashayed away.
"Like come over here and eat some pie."
Wade Wilson nodded reflexively-
Yeah, pie. Pie is always good. Strawberry pie and blueberry pie and-
-for some seconds-
Wait-
-before fairly leaping out of the recliner that had assumed the shape of his cancer-riddled ass over the course of not one but two alarming Netflix documentaries.
"Ooh, pie, you say?"
And following after the woman he loved.
Yep, still being weirdly inspired by Covid-19 pandemic.
But it's better than alcoholism. ;)
Thanks for reading and stay safe and well.
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