8Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this show or the rights to the song "I Kissed a Girl," by Jill Sobule.
Ignores the ending for the latest episode, "Zoey's Extraordinary Night Out." No family emergencies happens and Zoey finds another way home.
"I'm not ready to go!"
Zoey ignored her boss' drunken whines and continued to help her down the steps to the sidewalk and out to the idled car, which was difficult in and of itself since Joan was much taller than she was. "The party is over Joan. We have to go."
"But I was having fun!" Joan whined again as Zoey fruitlessly tried to force her into the waiting car. "I was Joan-ing the night!"
Zoey groaned, frustrated, when Joan twirled away from her and began to shimmy down the sidewalk. This time as her boss began to sing about boys touching her junk, Zoey wasn't so sure if the music was in her head, because she was also twirling around a light pole and the people around them were beginning to take notice. And not the kind of taking notice where they would either begin to harmonize vocals or suddenly be a back-up dancer in a big musical number that only she could see. This was the kind of taking notice where she needed to intervene of her boss would be the gossip around the cereal bar in the morning.
"Joan!" Zoey yelled out, slightly horrified, before taking off towards her boss and grabbing her arm before she made a complete fool of herself. "Party's over, we have to Joan home."
That killed the mood.
"Leave those to me, Zo Zo Zo your boat," Joan said as she slinked off the light pole and sulked toward the awaiting car. "I'm better at it. I'm fun."
"Yes, you are very fun," Zoey agreed because it was the truth, Joan was surprisingly fun. And drunk. And now increasingly hard to wrangle and wrestle into the car. "But I think we both had enough fun for one night."
She laughed and leaned down into Zoey's face, "Especially you," she teased with a little boop to her nose.
Zoey scrunched her nose and wafted away the fumes coming from her boss because Joan was several more drinks in than she was and she smelled like she had bathed in tequila. She wasn't even going to try to understand what Joan meant because this night had been one disaster after another and none of it ranked any level of fun on her scale. She just wanted to go home, change into sweats, and be alone with no one's thoughts but her own because those came without giant musical numbers that usually further complicated things.
But first, before the comfy sweats, she had to get her boss into the car and safely home. And that was another challenge because Joan had slipped out of her grasp yet again and was now talking to Karen from Accounting who she wouldn't stop referring to as Karen from Accounting. Not just using her first name but adding the whole 'from accounting' with every breath.
"Sorry Karen," Zoey sheepishly apologized before pressing her hands to Joan's back and not-so-gently pushing her towards the car.
"Goodnight Karen from Accounting!" Joan tossed a hand in the air and waved as she was pushed towards the car. Which she fought.
Zoey sighed, exasperated and drunk herself. "Joan," she whispered, rubbing her hands down her face. "Can you please just get into the car? It's late and I'm drunk and I just want to go home but you need to get into the car first."
Joan's face wrinkled with disgust. "I don't want to go to your home. I've seen the way you dress; your house is probably worse. If that's possible."
Zoey wasn't going to take offense to that. That comment was just Joan in her natural habitat and Zoey happened to like the way she decorated her apartment. "We're not going to my house. You're getting in this car and going home. And I'll get into another car and go home."
"Or," Joan began with a smile of her face, "We both get into this car and go to a bar!"
"Joan! Get in the car now!"
Zoey's stern tone startled Joan but it didn't kill the buzz of the alcohol as she stared her smaller counterpart down. "Bossy. I like it."
Zoey ignored whatever the hell kind of look her boss was currently giving her because it wasn't an "I'm so impressed with you" look, it was more akin to the "Should I Stay or Should I Go" look that happened in her living room last night and if she was given the option right now, she needed to go. To wipe that look that Joan was still giving her out of her head.
"Joan. Car. Please," Zoey stammered out the words as she opened up the door for her boss, who was no longer fighting with her and easily slid into the backseat of the car.
Zoey breathed a sigh of relief and went to apologize to the driver for taking so long when she was stopped in her tracks by her boss calling her name.
"Zoey!"
She turned back because even if they were both drunk and not in a work setting and she was incredibly tired, she couldn't ignore her boss. "Yes Joan?"
"Get in the car."
Zoey shook her head. "No, Joan, we're not going to another bar."
"I'm taking you home," she said matter-of-factly.
Zoey stammered again because the look from earlier was back and she stumbled backwards as she spoke. "I was going to get another car and just go home from there."
"Zoey Roller, I'll take you home," Joan assured her. "Your home, not my home. But I'm going to my home."
"Okay," She agreed because it was the simpler option at the moment and she hadn't yet called a car for herself and it was getting very late. Plus, she didn't want to risk not being able to find a car and being stuck out here. Not after what happened inside. "Let's go."
As Zoey climbed into the backseat and shut the car door behind her, Joan was leaning forward and trying and failing to give the driver Zoey's address. Zoey leaned in as well but instead of giving him her address, she rattled of Joan's.
"But that's my address," Joan said, her face adorably scrunched in confusion.
Zoey leaned back in her seat. "I know."
Joan slumped back in her seat, still confused. "You're going to my house?"
Zoey shook her head. Joan might not remember this in the morning, given the number of drinks she had tonight, but this portrayal of her boss would be hard to shake. "No, we're just taking you home first because you've had a lot to drink."
"Because I'm fun," Joan said while pointing a finger at herself.
"Fun," Zoey agreed with a nod of her head and a smile. "And very drunk."
Joan giggled, "Yeah, that too."
The car began to pull away from the sidewalk and away from the disastrous events of the night and Zoey began to find solace in the fact that she was in the back of the car with her boss and was the one making sure the she got home safe and sound. After all, someone needed to be that person. And with all the events that had unfolded within the past couple of weeks, she wasn't at all surprised that this all fell to her. Zoey also found solace in the fact that getting into the back of the car seemed to be the remedy to finally shut Joan down as she was currently resting back against the leather seat with her eyes closed.
Zoey stared out the window as the lights whizzed by and blurred into one and she almost wished that she could hear their driver's thoughts through song to get her mind off of tonight. Everything that had happened between Simon and his fiancée had ended in flames. Literally. She had set her mom's gorgeous rose wall on fire. Accidentally, of course. But still there had been flames and all the blame fell to her. The party ended pretty quickly after that and when she saw Joan about to dance on yet another bar, this time for real and not just in her head, she picked that time to make her escape. With Joan by her side complaining that she wasn't quite ready to leave even if everyone else was already heading to the door.
Zoey was lost in her own non-musical thoughts over how awkward things were going to be between her and Simon from now on, that she only caught the tail end of Joan's latest drunken rambling.
"What did you say?" Zoey asked as she turned to her head to find her boss staring at her.
"You can do better," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
Zoey blew out a breath. The last thing she wanted tonight was a lecture on her management style from her boss. But still she asked, "Better at what, Joan?"
"Not that." Joan shook her head. "I'm talking about Simon."
"I..uh...I don't know what you're talking about."
She tried to play the clueless card but, even drunk, Joan was smarter than that. "You know what I mean."
Zoey stayed quiet. She did know what Joan meant. Simon was not an option. He shouldn't have been an option once she learned he was engaged but she had feelings and though she tried to deny them, it didn't quite work out. But after tonight, he definitely wasn't an option. They could be friends. But that's it. Nothing more. It would be hard but she could manage.
"Yeah," she finally agreed. "I know what you're talking about."
"I mean it," Joan replied, her voice soft. "You're brilliant Zoey, there's a reason I picked you."
Zoey could feel her cheeks warming up and questioned if it was from the alcohol hitting her or the sentiments coming from her boss. Joan must've been of the ones that got sentimental and emotional when they drank because this was a stark difference from how she was at work. She enjoyed seeing this side of her boss, even if Joan was most likely to forget this by the morning. Actually, that was probably for the better.
She smiled. "Thanks Joan."
Joan returned the smile and continued with the sentiments. "You deserve someone that sees your potential and thinks you're amazing."
Zoey shifted in her seat because she was the type of person that didn't readily accept compliments. Sure, it was nice to hear but what was she supposed to say that? Coming from a friend, it might've been different. But this was her boss, who she didn't have a real bond with until the past couple of weeks. And that was only because she now had a musical super power that complicated and kind of enriched her life. She just smiled and nodded since it looked like Joan was seeking a response.
"Charlie wasn't like that," Joan divulged as her smile started to fade. "At least not towards the end. Or the middle. He was all about Charlie."
"I'm sorry," Zoey apologized for a lack of a better response because she was not good at comforting people.
Joan shrugged her shoulders. "It's over now."
"His loss."
The older woman laughed at that, her smile returning. "Oh, I'm sure. Right now, he's probably bedding someone half my age."
Zoey cringed at that. It was awkward enough trying to figure out the whole Satisfaction talk with Joan; she didn't need any details of any semblance of sex life of her boss or boss' ex-husband's sex life. Or anyone's really for that matter. But still she felt the need to comfort her boss.
"I mean if you wanted too, I'm sure you could..." She failed at comforting Joan and started to laugh because, even drunk, this was too awkward of a conversation. "I'm sorry, I was trying to say something nice."
"Please don't," Joan said as she started to laugh. "I'm fine, Zoey. It's for the best."
"Okay."
"Really," Joan insisted, falling to the spot above Zoey's knee and giving it a pat for reassurance. She let her hand linger there. "And thank you...for everything."
That look was back and compared with the hand above her knee, Zoey could only nod her head and give a short reply of, "No problem."
Joan just smiled at her. "You look pretty tonight, Zoey. This is a step up."
"Thanks," Zoey replied, confused by the compliment that was almost back-handed. "I wore your shoes. Well the shoes you bought me."
She leaned slightly forward, her gaze roaming over the shoes she had purchased for Zoey then over her dressed-up coworker. "Now I know why I like the outfit."
The younger woman shifted again in her seat, growing uncomfortable under her boss' gaze but she could also feel something else stirring inside of her, the longer that Joan continued to watch her and the longer that her hand remained on the spot above her knee. But what she was feeling couldn't possibly be what she was feeling. Nope. This was just a terrible cocktail of alcohol and disastrous events that filled her night. There were not any other feelings developing other than the feeling that she was ready to be home and in bed.
She could feel that the car had stopped and heard the driver announce that they were at the first destination but Joan had started to stroke her fingers where her hand rested and Zoey was at a loss for what to do. But before she could tell Joan that they were parked out in front of her house, the older woman reached out with her other hand and gently stroked the side of her face.
At this moment, Zoey wished she could hone her powers and hear anyone's thoughts through song at any given moment because it would be incredibly useful to hear what Joan was thinking right now. Joan didn't leave her guessing for long though as she leaned in and brushed her lips against hers.
She could taste the tequila on Joan's lips and she was expecting her to pull back just as soon as she leaned in and just call it a drunken misstep due to her first night out as a single lady, that was a thing, right? But Joan didn't pull away. No, she cupped Zoey's face in her hand and held her closer as she deepened the kiss. Her tongue ran softly along the seam of Zoey's lips, encouraging her.
Maybe it was just the alcohol but Zoey felt herself beginning to melt into the kiss and Joan's light touches. Her lips were incredibly soft and warm, and that boast earlier about being able to tie a cherry stem with her tongue was definitely true. Which is not something she thought she'd find out about her boss tonight but right now, there were no complaints.
Distantly, she heard the driver announce once again that they had reached their destination and Joan must've heard them too because she pulled back from the kiss. But she remained close enough so that when she spoke, her words ghosted across Zoey's lips.
"Haven't done that in a while."
At a loss for words at that confession and the kisses that had her lips tingling, Zoey pulled further back. As Joan turned away from her and reached for the car door handle, Zoey began to hear music building up in the background that was soon followed by her boss' voice singing along to the beat.
"So, we laughed, compared notes, we had a drink," Joan sang as she exited the car. "We had a smoke, she took off her overcoat."
Zoey watched as her boss swayed to the music and continued to sing as she walked towards the house looming in the distance. But with the next lyric, Joan turned to face Zoey again.
"I kissed a girl, I kissed a girl."
With that, Zoey scrambled across the car seat and quickly slammed the door shut. Through the closed car door, she could still hear her boss singing about how they kissed and she was trying to remember as many of the lyrics as she could to look up the song later and ask Mo's opinion of the song, hopefully without giving too much away.
Needing to get away from the song and everything that had just happened, Zoey quickly told the driver her address and asked him to make the trip as quick as possible. As the car began to drive away, the music and lyrics began to fade and Zoey buried her head in her hands and asked herself one question.
"What the fuck?"
First time writing for this fandom or for a wlw pairing, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
