3Chapter Twenty: Not Out of the Woods
It wasn't until Will was walking out of the shuttle bay that he found out that Captain Jellico had already had a confrontation with Gul Lemec. It appeared that their ploy had worked spectacularly, and word was that Jellico had asked for the return of Picard almost as an afterthought.
He was certain it had not been. Jellico's modus operandi was to keep everyone off-balance around him, at least when he was dealing with the Cardassians. Will was curious to know whether the man employed the same behavior for every mission. He suspected not, but then again, was Edward Jellico the kind of man who would change his entire behavior, even regarding crew management, based on his current mission?
One thing was certain: Will would never choose to work for the man, and if he were so assigned, he would strongly consider registering an official protest for a change of duty. Even in success, the crew of the Enterprise were worn out, uneasy, and morale was at an all-time low.
He completely forgot that Geordi was still beside him until they both spoke different commands to direct the turbolift's destination.
"Headed to Lilly's on autopilot?" Geordi asked in a sympathetic voice.
"Yeah. Belay that," he said to the computer. "Go on."
Geordi ordered the turbolift toward the main bridge, and Will steeled himself for whatever attitude their volatile captain would display in victory.
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Lilly thought sure she would have worn a path into the carpet by now, but though she impulsively crouched down to check, she found no difference in the section she had been pacing across for two hours versus the section directly in front of the door where she hadn't walked. Multiple times she'd tapped the comm only to be reminded by the emotionless female voice that she didn't have permission to access it.
Then she saw a change in the windows and rushed over to discover that the Enterprise was once again traveling at warp speeds.
A horrid, pervasive dread seeped into her bloodstream from the pit of her stomach. If they were leaving, that meant whatever business that they had with the Cardassian fleet had been concluded. It meant that, either way, Will's mission was finished.
Lilly climbed up onto the couch and reached toward the window, pressing her palms flat against it. If Will's shuttle had been destroyed in the nebula, would the Enterprise even be able to locate the wreckage? She doubted they would. Was she now hurtling through space away from his grave?
The door chimed, and when Lilly tried to vocalize the word 'Come in,' the word came out nearly inaudible. Luckily, the computer understood her enough to follow her command anyway.
Lilly stayed put, but turned her body so that only one hand was pressed against the glass. Her visitor was Geordi. He tipped his head to the side and then nodded when he saw her. The room was dim, and Lilly realized that his VISOR had led him to see her across the room far more quickly than any of his crewmates probably would have.
"He's fine, we were successful," he said quickly.
Lilly slid down from the window encasement onto the couch.
"I'll bet the fact that we're moving again left you uneasy," he observed, walking over.
"A bit," she said weakly. "I assume it worked, though, or we wouldn't be racing away?"
"Yeah, it did. Seems that Captain Picard was aboard Lemec's ship inside the nebula, too. Data thinks he was transferred there before we arrived. Sick Bay has been locked down, none of us have heard anything," Geordi said, perching on the edge of the chair across from the couch.
"So he's here, safe?" Lilly asked. The dread was receding, but not as quickly as she would have liked. She imagined it pulling away like a thick sauce after a meal, leaving residue to color its container behind, not so easily cleaned away by just tipping it out.
"Dr. Crusher wasn't at the staff meeting, but she called in to give a report. It's confidential, but I imagine he'll want to talk to you, once he's recovered enough," he said.
"Geordi, thank you. I was determinedly wearing a hole in the carpet and getting nowhere until you showed up. When the ship started moving-"
"I get it," Geordi said gently. "As for Commander Riker, well, Captain Jellico came this close to ordering him into a Lieutenant's uniform to take over for Data until Picard can come back on duty, but Data worked some of his signature magic on that idea." He grinned and chuckled, shaking his head in almost disbelief. "You haven't been here long enough to hear him really get into it about regs or a colloquial term, but when we first formed up into a crew, he'd do it all the time. Someone would use a phrase and he'd pick up on it- or he wouldn't, which was even more hilarious -and we'd have to take a few minutes as he oriented himself with an irrelevant statistic or explanation of the etymology of the phrase itself."
"So, demonstrating his personality, basically?" Lilly asked, smiling at the way Geordi seemed to enjoy explaining Data's quirks.
"Exactly!" Geordi said, pointing at her enthusiastically. "So today, when the captain mused almost to himself at the end of the meeting that he thought it might be appropriate if the commander changed into a gold uniform to take over for Data's duties for a while, everyone just… kinda sat there for a minute. Then Data spoke up." Even with his eyes covered by his VISOR, Geordi's face was perfectly expressive. His grin and incredulous laughter was infectious, and Lilly couldn't help smiling back at him.
"Did he parrot out some sort of rule that demotions needed to go in the file and be super official, something like that?"
"Yep, and I'll have to ask him to be sure, but I think he used two times as many words as he needed to. Data's gotten better about cutting out awkward wording, but he sounded more like the man I met on those first weeks on the ship, today," Geordi said. "Oh, and before I forget- that's part of why I'm here. Commander Riker was put on bridge duty while Captain Jellico debriefs Starfleet and Captain Picard. He'll be a few more hours at least."
"You are so kind, thank you," Lilly said, letting out a long relieved breath and smiling at him.
"Worrying about someone you care about on a risky mission is rough," Geordi said, standing. Lilly stood too.
"It's my first experience with it, and something tells me it won't be my last!" Lilly said ruefully.
"That's for certain. I think you'll make a fantastic captain's wife, though, if you don't mind my saying so," he said. "We're lucky to have had him with us for so long. Serving on a ship like the Enterprise is a dream come true for pretty much everyone here, but sometimes I think what makes it continue to be a great posting is the leadership at the top, especially when it comes to personnel management. I think almost everyone will be grateful that Captain Picard is back, but part of that is the fact that we'll know Will's back in charge of crew scheduling."
Lilly walked him to the door, mulling over his words. "I don't even know what to say except: thank you so much! I spent a couple of hours wondering if I'd just become Starfleet's fastest widow. It shouldn't be almost as daunting, thinking about the life I'll get to have instead!"
"If you don't mind my saying so, I'd say it's living that life which makes you so good at the one you'll have once you go back."
Tears welled up in her eyes at this, and she simply leaned over and hugged him. "I promise not to cry on your VISOR!" she sniffed.
"Don't worry, I can wear it in pretty much all conditions. See you around, okay?" he said, tapping the door open to reveal a dour looking Captain Jellico.
"I see you took it on yourself to inform our guest about her uncle?" he said.
Geordi was standing mostly in front of Lilly in the doorway, and he reached back to squeeze her hand briefly before moving aside for the captain. It took all of Lilly's considerable amount of self control not to burst into tears or flames based on the way Geordi had comforted her and how Jellico had referred to her as 'our guest.' She watched the chief engineer leave, and backed up just enough for Jellico to stand with the door shut behind him.
"Do come in," she said formally. "Mr. La Forge simply informed me that my uncle was recovered, but is unavailable, in Sick Bay. I greatly appreciate his taking that initiative."
"I'm sure you do," Jellico said, standing awkwardly in front of her. "I haven't had a chance to speak to Jean-Luc about your situation, but rest assured that I will."
"You mean about your decision to kidnap me to Earth?" she asked, unable to resist pushing back at him, now that she knew Picard was on board.
"Do you know how close you came to destroying human history, simply by being present for the confrontation I just had with the Cardassians?" Jellico demanded, strident and furious.
"I have no control over my presence in this century, captain," Lilly shot back. "I'm sure my knowledge of human nature has little to no bearing on the behavior of leaders here, but in my own, a secret like my existence would be very hard to keep, much harder on a planet full of billions of people than a ship of a thousand!"
"You shouldn't know how many people are on this ship, you shouldn't know about the ship at all! You should have been placed in medical stasis and all efforts should have been made to find the being that brought you here! The sheer fucking hubris of Jean-Luc Picard to choose to simply say and do nothing and pretend you're his niece is astonishing!" Jellico shouted. "He ought to be court marshalled for this!"
"Aren't those records public, captain?" Lilly said in a rigidly calm voice. "And don't you think they thought this through before making the decisions they did? Do you trust no one? How did you pick your crew? Did you only choose candidates who have won multiple awards for valor and then catapult them into a war scenario to see how they handled it? Or did you slowly build up trust over weeks of working together?" Lilly walked right up to Jellico and glared at him. "From what I see, you never gave this crew a chance to show their mettle. You just ordered them into untenable situations with no explanation. Sure, they've trained to follow orders, but I doubt you treated the crew of your own ship like this! If all you see are mindless automatons, then that's on you, sir. Not on them."
"You've been talking to Commander Riker," Jellico spat.
"I won't go with you," Lilly said, ignoring the disgust in his voice. "I won't encourage anyone to disobey orders, but I won't go with you. You don't have any authority over me," she said. She was bluffing- it was quite possible that the same maritime law of 'the captain is the ultimate law on the open seas' concept applied here, too.
"That's where you're wrong," Jellico said, his anger smoothing out into confidence.
"Ask them. Ask Dr. Crusher if it is safe to put me in medical stasis. Ask Captain Picard if he thinks there's a place on Earth he could hide me where someone wouldn't tell Earth's enemies where the key to destroying their past is hidden. Ask Commander Data what lengths he went to restrict my access to the computer and any information beyond what I ought to know. You came on this ship and decided not to trust anyone, and everything you saw from that point onward informed your decision! You got what you asked for."
"You don't know anything about me, young lady, and I know plenty about you. Everyone here is lucky that you seem to have been brought here before you learned much about power. You should be afraid of who you'll turn into, not arguing against what I've become," he said, his voice almost shaking with what she assumed was the intensity of his anger at her. "You won't have any computer access on the Cairo. As far as I'm concerned you don't even exist in this century. You have no identity here, and you won't be afforded any recognition."
Lilly held her tongue with all her strength as she watched him leave.
He was wrong. She did have an identity in this century.
She was someone's wife.
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Will being in command of the bridge did not, it turned out, mean he was able to override Captain Jellico's commands about Lilly's comm permissions. Then, he had an idea.
"Riker to Data?"
"Data here."
"Data, have you had a chance to input any of the personnel changes from the past day or so?" Will asked, hoping that Data would pick up on his meaning without needing to say anything more specific.
"Yes, Commander. I am caught up as of 1400 hours."
"Perfect, thank you, Data. Riker out." The bridge was operating on a minimal crew, but it just so happened that Deanna was scheduled to arrive for her bridge duty in two minutes. Will wanted to talk to Lilly, and since she had signed the paperwork that indicated she would take his last name, he wanted to see if calling her with that new name would bypass Jellico's restriction on 'Lilly Picard.' Unfortunately, to do so in private, he'd need to put someone else in charge for the few minutes it would take to check in with her. The regs meant that there was no one on the bridge until Deanna arrived who was qualified to take over- but Deanna had certainly heard about the wedding. She'd probably want details, and she might hold his request hostage for them.
He did owe her at least that much.
When Deanna walked out of the turbolift, she headed straight for her chair, but her eyes sought out his left hand even before looking at his face. It turned out to be one of the best moments of the past few days for Will, because her face lit up in obvious happiness to see the ring he was wearing. Accompanying her expression was an aura that he could sense from her, one of satisfaction and happiness. He didn't think he could have asked for a more thorough confirmation that Deanna was pleased for the two of them.
He walked over from where he was standing in the middle of the bridge and sat down.
"Busy day," Deanna observed dryly.
"One of the busiest, yes," he responded in kind, adding a grin.
"Are you going to make me ask?" she said, dropping the sly disinterest in favor of wide, dark eyes full of mirth.
"It's not really common knowledge, at this point," Will said quietly. He resisted the urge to look around at the other bridge crew to see if they had noticed the conversation.
"You'll owe me," she said in a low voice.
"I always will," he said, looking straight at her with perfect sincerity.
"I'm pleased, you know."
He smiled broadly. "I sensed that."
Deanna tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked up, sighing. "Well, if you can't make it work with your half-Betazoid, empathic mind partner, I suppose a princess really is the next best thing."
Will grinned and looked down, glancing at her without moving his head. "That's a lot more gentle than I expected, thank you."
"Well, we are in public," Deanna noted quietly.
"Speaking of which, can you take over for a minute or two? I wanted to send a message from the Ready Room while Captain Jellico is away from the bridge."
"Of course," she said in that warm, genuine way she had.
"Thanks. Be right back," Will said. He went over to the Ready Room and breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened for him. For a brief moment he worried about whether Jellico bothered to look at the logs to see who used the room when he was away from the bridge, but the man had completed his mission, with all threats extinguished. It wasn't likely that he'd bother, now.
"Riker to Lilly Riker?"
There was a full ten second stretch of silence that made Will convinced that his theory had proved false, but then he did get a response.
"Lilly here! Did you get him to release the restrictions?" Lilly sounded incredulous but very happy, and he hated that he had to disappoint her.
"No, I'm sorry. I was testing to see if your new name brought those restrictions with it. This is giving me an idea; I'll speak to you when I come off duty tonight. Riker out."
As soon as he tapped his badge again, Will felt a rush of regret. He could have heard her voice again if he hadn't signed off.
"Lilly Riker to Commander Riker?"
"I'm here," he said, tapping his comm.
"I want you to know that if you get a chance to see the captain when you're off duty, don't feel obligated to come here first. We'll still have time. Riker out."
He knew which captain she was referring to. The truth was, she didn't know for sure that they had time, but it was more important to her to let him know she recognized his need to see Picard. That, and she might have guessed at his disappointment in not hearing her voice again. The combination of motives made him feel known and loved.
So did her reference to their shared last name. There was potential there, if her comm restriction didn't apply anymore. Will had some ideas about how to thwart Captain Jellico's plans for her, but first he had to get through the evening of duty time. Lilly's thoughtfulness and simply the sound of her voice had helped with that, at least.
Will walked out of the Ready Room with an unshakeable smile. He sat down and tapped at the arm controls of the chair, aimlessly checking conditions and heading until Deanna finally said something.
"Good talk?"
"Mmm hmm," he said, not really hearing the question.
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It did turn out that Will got the go-ahead from Beverly to stop by Sick Bay after he got off duty. When he walked in, he saw that there was a partition up blocking half of the room from sight. He heard Captain Jellico's voice.
"-just got off with Starfleet Command myself, and I wanted to drop by to see you. You were on with the admiral for nearly three hours."
"I appreciate the courtesy," Captain Picard said in a tired-sounding voice.
"It's no courtesy, Jean-Luc! I was genuinely concerned that I might have to leave you with the Cardassians," Jellico said. Will didn't want to eavesdrop, but it sounded like there was real regret in the man's voice, something he hadn't expected to hear at all.
"I'm profoundly grateful that you did not."
"I don't want to make you talk about it-"
Picard interrupted with a bit more vigor in his voice at that. "Don't worry, I'll give you my report, it'll be far more enlightening than anything I could say after detailing it all out for Nechayev." He coughed, a short, explosive sound that led Will to look around for Dr. Crusher or a nurse.
He had the distinct impression that Sick Bay was only open so that the current acting captain could make a visit. Will resolved to find Beverly and tell her that Picard seemed like he could do with being looked in on. He was clearly trespassing on a private conversation, and he knew he shouldn't be listening.
Then Captain Jellico said something that made Will stop in his tracks.
"Jean-Luc, I'm sorry to have to talk to you about this right now, but we'll be meeting up with the Cairo tomorrow and I want to get it resolved before I leave. I was forced to investigate your 'niece' for her suspicious appearance so close in time to your mission, and I discovered her true identity. I have to ask you what you were thinking in keeping her conscious at all, much less with permission to walk around the ship as if she were any other 24th century human?"
Jellico sounded moderately sympathetic at first, but by the last sentence, his voice was angry as he demanded Picard's response. Will ground his teeth together. There was no way he was going to leave his captain alone with that man after what Picard had gone through. Beverly's office was dark, the door open, and Will slipped into the doorway to make his eavesdropping less obvious. The light remained off, which was lucky.
"If you are aware of her identity, that must mean you are aware that she is my ancestor," Picard said, his tone dipping into a bit of vocal fry. "You must have seen the studies, and we've all read at least one science fiction story- what do they all have in common, in regards to what happens to the world left behind, when an important figure is taken from their own time?"
There was a period of silence, and Will could just picture Jellico standing there, his hand shaking slightly at his side, uncomfortable but stalwart.
"The world changes, Edward. Their descendants disappear, never to have been born. That ripples through and changes whole populations. Yet here I am!" Picard's voice was confident, now, and Will felt a rush of relief to hear him sound so much like himself. "The difference here is the method of travel. The unique nature of the one involved."
"Your Norse god from a race of tricksters," Jellico interjected, doubt coloring his voice.
Picard chuckled. "That's well put. You'll have to tell me who came up with that. My point is, we know she goes back. If she did not, I couldn't be here. I see your disapproval writ large on your face, but I'd challenge you to find a finer line than we have walked."
There was a grunt of pain, and Will nearly made his presence known, but after a tense second, he heard Picard utter a word of thanks.
"Are you sure you should be standing so soon?"
"It's a relief to be standing with full use of my arms, and in clothing, even," Picard said dryly. "I quite enjoy it. I'm on my own ship, under my own power, with no threat of reprisal- unless that's what this is?"
Will sucked in an impressed breath. He had always admired Jean-Luc Picard's ability to negotiate, the swift, curious mind that sought out solutions and articulated them with such grace and tenacity. He'd been around for many a powerful speech from the man, but that statement was a masterwork.
"I had no intention of threatening you, Jean-Luc-"
"I am well aware that a man of your integrity would not come to me in this condition without a plan. Tell me, Edward: what is your plan?" Picard asked.
"To take her with me to the Cairo. We'll travel directly to Earth, where she'll be placed in a secure facility, possibly in medical stasis," Jellico said, his voice almost emotionless.
"Stasis will be rejected by any competent medical officer in the entire fleet," Picard said dismissively. Will could perfectly picture the pained, frustrated expression on his captain's face. "Elizabeth Windsor is the first thoroughly documented ruler of her century. Every single medical record was made public within months of their occurrence, open for scrutiny and objective interpretations even now! Yet you confidently declare that we should subject her to medical interventions that very well could show in her tissues for the rest of her life? Are you sure you wish to tamper with history in such a way, Captain?"
"You have a lot of gall accusing me of tampering with history," Jellico growled.
"There is a world of difference between cellular memory and actual memories. The choices I've made are borne up by countless records of her intelligence and discernment. I felt it was much more safe to expect that she keep her experiences secret in her mind than it was to pretend our medical procedures such as stasis would remain undiscovered by the doctors from her time-"
"One word from her before First Contact, and the last couple of centuries could be wiped out! Erased!" Jellico shouted.
"Does it bother you more that this is a situation beyond your control, or that you've found yourself on the literal wrong side of history, Edward?" Picard asked quietly. "There are roughly eight hundred hours of holovids of her life that you can watch. Likely a further five hundred hours of expert analysis of those holovids. A simple keyword search of, say, 'Lilly Windsor, aliens' or 'Windsor time travel' nets negligible results. I should know. I've checked."
"The argument that it hasn't happened yet is useless in the face of the fact that it can," Jellico bit out. "I'm sorry, Jean-Luc. I can't let this one go."
"Well, as one of the people who will cease to exist if you make the wrong choice, I hope you know what you're doing," Picard said. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like some privacy."
"Of course. You still hold the rank of captain, so you'll be authorized to visit her if you'd like. I've confined her to quarters for the sake of all humanity. Good night."
Will stepped farther back into the recesses of Beverly's office, but judging by the look on Captain Jellico's face as he stalked out of Picard's makeshift room in Sick Bay, he wouldn't have seen Will even if he'd been out in the open.
Will stood against the back wall of the darkened office and tried to decide what to do. It was certainly insubordinate of him to have listened in, and he was already on thin ice after being removed from his position by Jellico. Something started to slide past his leg, and despite reaching over to grab it as quickly as he could, it toppled, making a crashing noise.
"Who is there?" Picard called out.
Will turned on the office light and saw that nothing was broken, just knocked over. "It's me, sir," he said.
"Will! Come in, I didn't know you were coming," the captain said, sounding pleased. When Will walked past the partition, he saw that Picard was seated with his legs stretched out in front of him on an elevated bed. The back was propped up nearly all of the way, and he had a PADD lying on his lap. He looked exhausted and drawn, but thankfully, there were no obvious bandages or signs of more serious medical attention.
"Sir, I should tell you-"
"That you were here since your current captain lectured me on protocol?" Picard interrupted in a mock stern voice. "Yes, I gathered. The doors make a very distinctive sound, you know."
Will nodded, looking down.
"He implied that you were quite a handful, when he met me with the transfer team," Picard said, wincing as he adjusted his position. "Am I right in assuming he's projecting, at least a little?"
"Captain Jellico had a mission, and he fulfilled that mission, sir," Will said in as bland a voice as he possibly could. He knew that Picard would read the statement correctly.
"I see," was the quietly-spoken response. "Now he sees Lilly as his new mission."
"Honestly, I think he considered her a part of his mission from the beginning. The fact that her presence here is unrelated to the Cardassians means he can close that chapter and throw the book at her," Will said, his simmering anger threatening to boil over as an undercurrent to his tone of voice.
"And us," Picard observed.
"I have some ideas," Will told him. "They're a long shot."
The captain smiled. "Sometimes those are the best kind."
"We had some eventful days, while you were gone," Will said, feeling the hard newness of the ring on his finger from where it was hiding under his right hand, clasped as they were in front of him. "I'm not asking about what happened to you, sir," he hastened to add, as Picard's face had changed, a kind of hard shell of defensiveness sliding up to mask his more open expression. "I'm sure you'll get the chance to see everything when you inspect the personnel changes. We are currently operating at a tentative four shift rotation, and there are some changes you may want to sign off on. I would urge you not to make any alterations, particularly not to personnel files, for a few days. Data and I have those well in hand."
With that, Will shifted position, placing his left hand over his right.
Picard, ever observant, looked at his hands, his brows slightly furrowed as he sought the answer to Will's possible riddle. The moment when he understood was a gratifying one, as the very same brows shot up in complete shock, as did Picard's glance up to meet Will's eyes.
"I don't think I should need to oversee any of them, unless they weren't voluntary changes?" Picard asked in a pseudo bureaucratic tone.
"I would say enthusiastic," Will said, grinning, "-but I wouldn't dare speak for the lady."
"Wise man," Picard said, smiling back. He yawned. "Would you do me the favor of calling for Beverly? I think her most recent treatment has run its course, and I haven't seen a bed in far too long."
"Of course, sir. I'm glad you're back."
"As am I."
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Lilly had joked with Data and Will about hiding in guest quarters until Captain Jellico had left the ship, but as she waited for Will to stop by after his duty shift ended, she gave the idea some serious thought.
She was planning to wait until it was late at night before testing to see whether she could leave her room at all, but if she could, Lilly wanted to make good on her promise not to go with Jellico.
"How miserable must a person be not to want to visit their home planet, centuries into the future?" she asked herself aloud.
A huge yawn interrupted her train of thought. She'd tried to get some sleep, convinced that, either way, she'd be unable to rest in the coming day or two. After checking the clock, Lilly groaned. It was still two hours before Will would be off shift, and she'd send that message to encourage him to visit Picard if he could, so chances were he wouldn't show up for another three.
"Computer, can I give you permission to open the door to someone when they request to come in?" Lilly asked.
"That action requires an authorization code."
"Oh! Authorization code Picard Epsilon Two Zero Zero Six."
A fail chime sounded. "That authorization code does not apply."
Lilly blinked, surprised. It was definitely her code- she'd used it in the past! For it not to apply…
"Wait! What about Authorization code Riker Epsilon Two Zero Zero Six?"
Another fail chime sounded.
"Do I even have an authorization code associated with me right now?"
"There are no authorization codes assigned to Elizabeth Riker at this time."
"All right, Computer, how about this?" Lilly said, feeling like she was arguing with anthropomorphic red tape. "Can I authorize the door to open for my husband when he requests entry?"
"Commander William Riker is now authorized to enter on request."
"It's that easy? Well, okay then!"
With that burden lifted, and context for why she had been able to be contacted on the comms, she finally felt comfortable enough to fall asleep. As she drifted off, Lilly wondered if she should get up and try to drag the nightstand over just in case Will wanted to climb in bed with her.
Note: I actually quite like Edward Jellico as a character, and I hope I'm not doing him a disservice in his reactions toward Lilly in this chapter. I think he is exactly the sort of person who would 1) worry about what kind of undue influence someone with her eventual power would have, 2) think it's completely insane that she has the run of a ship and isn't somewhere in stasis being kept ignorant and insensate as they find out how to send her back, and 3) believe in his snap judgments of the crew of the Enterprise. He's probably right about Lilly, of course, but he doesn't have the history with Q or with Lilly that Will and Jean-Luc have.
But I did want to reassure fans of Jellico that I'm not turning him into a cartoon villain here. He's too conscientious to simply walk away without trying to do the right thing in his own eyes.
