A/N: Another venture I've started with my imagination going crazy! So...each chapter will be a crossover of various characters played by the same actor and the chaos that might ensure. This is just for laughs guys! No offence intended!

Warning: Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

Scene 1 - Vicky, Nakul, Karam and Kartik meet with their respective lovers. (a.k.a) A crossover of Vicky Donor, Badhaai Ho, Dream Girl and SMZS.

Kartik and Aman were finally relaxing at the movies after a long week at work. After all the family drama back at home, which ended with their wedding and the Court abolishing Section 377, Aman had got a job as a science teacher in a school and Kartik as a sales manager in some big company. So while their lives were settled, it was hard to find some alone time for themselves. So they decided to treasure this time for themselves.

Nakul and Renee along with Tanya, Nakul's 6 year old baby sister decided to go to the movies, allowing the parents to have some peaceful time together without the disturbance of the children in the house.

Vicky and Ashima had decided to go out for shopping and a lunch out, leaving their daughter, Diya with Vicky's mom for the day. It was a simple plan for spending sometime alone without work or Dr. Chaddha getting in the way of a simple lunch.

Karam and Mahi were planning on going out for lunch to celebrate their anniversary without the nagging of their family. Mahi had been secretly planning on calling both their friends later on for a game of Dumb C (Dumb Charades), and maybe ask Karam to mimicry for them.

Well... coincidentally, they all chose to go to the same mall. And so, everything naturally went to hell.

The movie had just got over and Aman excused himself to go to the restroom and asked Kartik to catch a table at the food court and Kartik had complied. As he was headed to the food court, someone insistently tugged at his pants, causing him to turn around.

"Bhaiyaa, aap kahaan chale gaye?" a cute girl asked in a childish voice. "Aur yeh aap kya pehene hai? Bhabi ko patha hai kya?" she asked, touching the nose ring. "Kaun bhabi?" Kartik asked, lifting her up. "Are you lost?" he asked. (Brother, where did you go? And what are you wearing? Does sister in law know?) (Which sister in law?)

"Not funny. Aap hi ne kaha tha ki main idhar wait karoon until everyone comes back. Aur ab aap hi pooch rahe ho ki if I am lost? Bhabi se complain karungi" she said with a cute pout. (Not funny. You only asked me to wait here until everyone comes back. And now you are asking me if I am lost? I will complain to bhabi)

"Tanya!" Nakul shouts just then and his jaw drops when he saw her with a stranger who looked just like him, just with... tattoos and a nose ring? He slowly approached them and tapped at Kartik's back.

"Thank you for looking after my sister. Aap kaun ho?" he asked. "Arey, humare toh shakal toh same to same hai!" Kartik exclaimed, staring at Nakul. "Kartik Singh. Aur haan, be careful. Lucky ho ki tumhari behen mere paas aayi. What if she had really lost?" Kartik said seriously. (Thank you for looking after my sister. Who are you?) (Arey, our faces look the same! Kartik Singh. And yeah, be careful. You are lucky that your sister came to me. What if she had really got lost?)

"Nakul Kaushik, aur ye mera behen Tanya hai. Thank you for looking after her. Ek second mere paas thi aur doosri second gaayab ho gayi yeh. Batha toh tha na, mujhe chhod ke kahi nahi jaane ka?" Nakul asked his sister with a frown on his face. Tanya was just looking at the two of them in confusion. (Nakul Koushik and this is my sister Tanya. Thank you for looking after her. One second she was beside me and the next second she had wandered off. I told you no, not to stray away from me?)

"Do bhaiyaa?" she asked as her brows furrowed in concentration. Kartik just took a look at her and smiled. "Main tere bhai nahi hoon, wohi teri bhai hai. Par agar tum chaaho, main tera dost zaroor ban saktha hoon." Kartik said. She had a serious look on her face as she looked back at Nakul and stretched out her hands, and Nakul lifts her and settles her on his hip. Tanya just nods at Kartik shyly. (Two brothers?) (I am not your brother, he is your brother. But if you want, I can be your friend)

"Food Court jaa rahe the kya?" Nakul asked. "Haan, mera pati ke liye wait kar raha hoon. I'll introduce you to him. Aap?" Kartik asked. "Bas mere biwi ke liye wait kar raha hoon... Wait a second, Pati?" Nakul asked, a bit confused. (Were you headed to the food court?) (Yeah, I am waiting for my husband. I'll introduce you to him. You?) (I am waiting for my wife... wait a second, husband?)

"Haan, mera pati, kya galat baath hai is pe?" Kartik asked, a little offended. Before he could continue his rant though, Nakul cut him off. "Arey bhai, I was just surprised, koi galat baath nahi hai." Nakul calmed him down. "Mere paas ek plan hai... dekthe hai whether humare jaan hume pehchaan sakenge ya nahi hume ek saath dekkar." he said with a mischievous smile. (Yeah, my husband, what is wrong with that?) (Bro, I was just surprised, nothing is wrong with it. I have a plan... we'll see if our lovers are able to identify us when they see the two of us side by side)

"Ok, Andhar chalen?" Kartik asked. "Sure! Apna nose ring abhi ke liye remove karo, aur collar upar. I think that will be enough." Nakul said. (Ok, shall we head in?) (Sure! Take off your nose ring for now and up your collar. I think that will be enough)

"Tanya, hum tumhare bhabi aur mere pati ko prank karne ke liye jaa rahe hai. Bohot mazaa aayega. Tum chup rahoge naa? Varna humara plan toh fail hoga." Kartik said. She just nodded and made a motion like zipping up her mouth. (Tanya, we are going to prank your sister in law and my husband, It will be fun. You won't give us away right? Or else the plan will fail)

Nakul and Kartik spotted a free table and went to catch it when they bumped into another couple who had been heading the same way. "Sorry!" they all said simultaneously before freezing as there were now 3 identical people.

"Um... that's awkward" Kartik said. "No shit Sherlock." Nakul said, staring at this 3rd doppelganger. "Main Karam hoon aur yeh hai mera patni Mahi." Karam starts, trying to diffuse some of the awkwardness. (I am Karam and this is my wife Mahi)

"Main Nakul aur ye mera behen Tanya hai. Woh tattoo wala Kartik hai" Nakul said. "Agar ek aur humare tarah diknewala aayega na, I won't be surprised." Kartik said. "Arey! jinx math kar ab tu" Nakul groans. (I am Nakul and this is my sister Tanya. That guy with the tattoo is Kartik) (If I see another person who looks like us, I won't be surprised) (Don't jinx us now!)

"Pooja, ab chalen? Table pakadna hai hume." Mahi said. "Haan, chalte hai" Karam said in his 'Pooja' voice. "Pooja? Woh kaun hai?" Kartik asked, looking around. "Yahi hai, diktha nahi kya?" Karam asked in the same high pitched tone, shocking the two of them. (Pooja, shall we go? We need to save a table) (Yeah, lets go) (Pooja? Who is that?) (She is here, can't you see?)

"Arey, kitna hot hai tumhara awaaz" Kartik said. "Meri pathi hai woh, koi ladki nahi." Mahi said curtly. "Main toh bas compliment kiya tha uske awaaz ko. Main bhi ek shaadi shuda aadmi hoon if you must know" (Arey, your voice is hot) (He is my husband, not any woman) (I was just complementing his voice. Even I am a married man if you must know)

"Place pakadlen? Ek hi jagah baaki hai yahaan." Nakul said. "Par bada table hai so... maybe hum sab ko fit kar saktha hai shaayad." Karam said and they all headed towards the table. (Shall we save a place? There is only one table left) (But it is a big one so... maybe we all can fit in it)

Meanwhile Aman had come out and was on his way to the food court when he bumped into someone. "Ah, I'm sorry, mujhe dikha nahi" he apologised as he helped the lady with her bags. (Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't see you coming)

"Koi problem nahi, main bhi dekhi nahi, it's also my fault." she said as she got up. "Ashi, kya hua?" a voice asked as they ran towards the two of them. "Kartik?" Aman asked while she just said "Kuch nahi hua Vicky" "Wait what?" they said in sync and looked at one another. (No problem, even I wasn't watching where I was going, its also my fault) (Ashi, what happened?) (Nothing happened Vicky)

"Yeh toh mera Vicky hai" she said. "Sorry, thoda confused tha. Kartik bhi iska tarah diktha aur bolta hai na, isi liye" Aman said. "Achcha? I would like to meet him then! Main hoon Vicky Arora, aur yeh mera patni hai Ashima" he introduced himself. (This is my husband Vicky) (Sorry, I got a bit confused. Kartik also looks and talks like that no, that's why.) (Is that so? I would like to meet him then! I am Vicky Arora and this is my wife Ashima)

"Aman Tripathi. Food court hi chal rahe te na? Kartik bhi wohi hoga. I'll introduce you to him" Aman said and they headed towards the food court. From the other side, Renee was also headed to the food court. (Aman Tripathi. Heading towards the food court? Kartik would be there. I'll introduce you to him)

"Heads up, Aman aa raha hai" Kartik said as he lifted up the collar and unrolled his sleeves, nudging Nakul to do the same. "Kartik bhai, tumne hume jinx kardiya" Karam said as he pointed towards Aman's direction, looking at Vicky. "Ek aur!" the 3 of them groaned, putting their heads on the hand. Tanya and Mahi just giggled, the scene was really very funny. (Heads up, Aman is coming) (Kartik bro, you jinxed us) (One more!)

"Mar gaye, Renee bhi yahi aa rahi hai" Nakul said, peeking through his fingers, then pointing at Renee. The 4 of them stopped short at the sight of the 3 identical faces and the girl beside them. (We are dead, Renee is also headed here)

"Ab koun hai mera pathi?" "Arey dramebaaz! Mazaak math kar" Renee and Aman chorused, looking over at the 3 look alikes. Mahi just pulls Karam towards her, leaving the two of them starting at Nakul and Kartik. (Now who is my husband) (Dramebaaz! This is not the time for jokes)

"Tumhara baap bhi sperm donor tha kya?" Ashima whispered. "Mujhe nahi patha" Vicky said, raising his arms up in a surrender position. But everyone had heard it and started protesting. (Was your dad also a sperm donor?) (I don't know)

"Aisa nahi ho saktha kyon ki mera baap na, abhi bhi bachche paida kar sakthe hai" Nakul said, pointing to Tanya, then realised his slip up as he felt Kartik's glare. He looked at Renee's amused look and sighed while Aman went up to Kartik and gave him a peck before sitting down beside him. (That can't be possible, my dad can still make babies)

"Humara bhi nahi ho saktha, yeh hai mera baap" Karam said, taking out a picture of himself and his dad. "Arey, yeh toh Dr. Chaddha hai, with a beard of course" Vicky said. (Can't be my dad, this is my dad) (Arey! This is Dr. Chaddha, with a beard of course)

"Nai, yeh to mera baap Jagdish hai, ek dukaan chalatha hai woh" Karam said with a frown. "Achcha baba, ab topic change karlo. Maybe let's reintroduced ourselves. Main Mahi aur yeh hai mera pati Karam" (No, this is my dad Jagdish, he runs a shop) (Ok, now change the topic. Let's reintroduce ourselves. I am Mahi and this is my husband Karam)

"Main Vicky aur yeh hai mera patni Ashima" "Nakul, mera biwi Renee aur behen Tanya." "Kartik aur mera pyaara husband Aman" Kartik said, giving Aman a peck. (I'm Vicky and this is my wife Ashima) (Nakul, my wife Renee and my sister Tanya) (Kartik and my lovely husband Aman)

"PDA!" Nakul said, covering Tanya's eyes. Aman and Kartik blushed before shrugging. "Toh... tum dono..." Karam asked. Kartik just sighed with irritation and Aman placed his hand on his back, trying to stop him from going into a rant. "Haan, hum dono shaadi shudhe hai, aur haan, ma baap ko bhi patha hai, aashirvaadh bhi diye the unhon ne." Aman said. (So... you two...) (Yeah, we both are happily married, and yes, mom and dad knows, they also blessed us)

"Main toh congrats bolne wala tha..." Karam said. "Sorry, itne saal sab gaaliyan diye te naa, aadat padgayi. Thanks" Kartik said. (I was just going to congratulate you...) (Sorry, we are used to people questioning and talking bad about us. Thanks)

"Kaam kya karte ho?" Mahi asked. "Main aur Nakul ek saath kaam karte hain" Renee said. "Main sales manager hoon" Kartik said. "Aur main science teacher" Aman said. (What do you do?) (Nakul and I work together) (I am a sales manager) (And I am a science teacher)

"Main ek bank main kaam karti hoon" Ashima said "Main sperm donor hoon" Vicky said with a shrug. "Nice. Agar hume bachche chaahiye toh hum tumhare paas aayenge" Kartik said with a grin. (I work at a bank) (I am a sperm donor) (Nice. If we want children, we will approach you)

"Hum toh bas sperm donate karte hai, bachche nahi. Sperm toh tumhare paas bhi hai na? Adoption centres ja ya phir ek ladki dhoond lo surrogacy ke liye" Vicky said. (I just donate sperm, not children. Even you have sperm no? Either go to adoption centres or search for someone who is willing to be a surrogate mother)

"Main? Din main call girl aur sometimes raath mein naatak kartha hoon" Karam said in his female voice. "Radhe Radhe" Mahi said. "Ramleela main Sita aur Krishnaleela main Radha" she said with a teasing smile. (Me? I am a call girl most of the day and a stage actor for the local theatre sometimes) (Sita in Ramleela and Radha in Krishnaleela)

"Ladki ki awaaz itna achcha nikaltha hai toh... I'm not surprised. Par tum woh dresses kaise pehente ho? Bhaari nahi hai kya?" Vicky asked. "Chote umar se pehen raha hoon na, got used to it" Karam said with a shrug. (With how good you mimic a woman... I'm not surprised. But how do you wear those dresses? Aren't they heavy?) (Been wearing them in the dramas since a young age, got used to it)

"Kuch khaane ka man hai ya?" Renee asked, "Tanya ko bhook lagi hai" "Toh phir order karlen?" Nakul asked, lifting Tanya up on his shoulders. (Do you have the intention of eating? Tanya is starting to get hungry) (Then shall we order?)

After ordering the food, they had some small talk about how they got together as they ate.

"Bank mein meet kiya use of course, account open karne ke liye gaya par relationship open kiya. Kuch samay ke baad shaadi kiya use. Thoda jagda hua tha humare beech mein after we found out she was infertile..." Vicky said. (We met in the bank of course, I went to open an account but I opened a relationship. After sometime I married her. There were some arguments after we found out that she was infertile though...)

"Haan, thoda jagda hua? Shaadi ke pehle at least maine batha di ki main ek divorcee hoon. Aur tumne apni sperm donor hone ka baath tab kaha jab maine tumhara infertility test ke baare mein poocha" Ashima said with a frown. (Yeah, some arguments? At least I told you before the marriage that I was a divorcee. And you told that you were a sperm donor after I asked for your test results of the infertility test)

"Arey baba, kitne baar sorry bolun mein uske liye? Soooorrrryyyy" Vicky dragged out. (Arey, how many times should tell sorry for that? Soooorrrryyyy)

"Humara kahaani toh tumhara boring ordinary love story hai. Office mein meet kiye, date par gaye, humara families ko ek doosre ko pasandh aayi. Ek hi break liye the hum when Nakul's mom got pregnant. Maa ne buri baath ki aur Nakul gussa kiya. Par humne make up kiya, engagement hui Tanya paidha hone ki baad" Renee said. (Our story is your ordinary love story. We met each other in office, dated, our families liked our partner. The only time we broke up was when his mom was pregnant. My mom bad mouthed his family and he was rightfully angry. But we made up, got engaged after Tanya was born)

"Baba toh mauth ke saaman bechte te. Mahi ka bhai ne saaman kharidha aur mujhe ghar aakar paisa lene keliye kaha. Mahi ko wahi mila maine. Pyaar kiya, engagement hui par... us samay main call centre main Pooja ki naam lekar baath kar raha tha. Paanch log mujse shaadi karne chahte te. Ek, mera baap, ek uski bhai, ek chota ladka, ek shaadi shuda police wala aur ek tomboy ladki." Karam said, laughter erupting all around the table after hearing this.
(Dad sells goods required for cremation. Mahi's brother bought something and asked me to come over and collect my money. I met Mahi there. We fell in love, got engaged but... I was going by the name Pooja at the call centre as I was using my female voice to hold conversations. Five people wanted to marry me from hearing my voice. One, my own father, one, my brother in law, one guy who was probably just out of his teenage, one policeman and a tomboy)

"Us chakkar mein ek din maine us ladki se bathaya ki main ek ladka se shaadi karne wala hoon aur milne ke liye gaya tha. Mahi aur uski bhai wahaan te toh, bohot saara misunderstandings aur confusions ke baad, maine usse sab kuch batadiya. Pooja ka identity thodi dher ke liye chhod diya par... waapas le liya kyon ki is dhuniya main bohot saare log itna akhelapan mehsus karte hai ki kisi anjaan se baath karne ki zaroorat pad rahi hai." Karam said.
(In that confusion, one day I told the lady that i was going to marry and she wanted to meet my 'fiance'. So I acted as my own fiance and went to meet her. But Mahi and her brother were at the same mall and there was a lot of misunderstandings and confusions before I couold explain it to her. I had left behind the identity of Pooja for a while but... I took it up again as there are still people who still feel so alone that they want the assistance of an unknown person)

By the end of the story, the initially laughing people started to sober up at the seriousness of the issue. Aman suddenly groaned and face palmed. "Ab ye math batao ki maine tumse apni love life ke confusion ke baare mein baath kiya!" he exclaimed. (Now don't tell me that I was confessing my love life confusions to you!)

"Kya?" Kartik asked. "Arey, tumhi woh Aman ji ho kya? Raath bhar Kartik ke baare mein baath kar rahe the aap, mujhe bolne hi nahi diya. Woh, kya kehte the? 'Kaise usse bolun mera pyaar? Agar use batha chala toh shaayad humari dosti toh ud jaayega. Peekar baath kiya tha kya?" Karam asked. (What?) (Arey, you were that Aman? Spent all the night talking about Kartik, didn't even let me say a word. What did you say? 'How will I tell him that I love him? If he comes to know then our friendship might probably end. Were you drunk then?)

Kartik just gave Aman a look and he blushed. "Rajni ka dare tha ki main kisi anjaan aadmi se baath karni padegi apne pyaar ke baare mein. Number bhi wohi diya, main kya karoon? Tum usko janta hai." Aman said. Everyone were laughing in the background through the whole conversation. (Rajni gave me the dare to talk with some unknown person about my love life. She also gave me the number, what else could I do? You know about her)

"Achcha baby, no problem. Ab humari baari. Maine usko ek park mein meet kiya, dare ke wajah se usko love ride par lekar gaya. Pehle hum flatmates hue, kaam mein partners hue, dost bane, date par chalen. Ek baar mera friend ko uska lover ke paas bhagane ki koshish ki, pakad gaye so we escaped to Allahabad, Aman ke cousin ke shaadi attend karne ke liye." Kartik said.
(Ok baby, no problem. Now it is our turn. I met him at a park, took him on a love ride due to a dare. First we were flatmates, then we became partners at work, friends, then started dating. There was one time when we were helping a friend elope with her lover, got caught and so we went to Allahabad to escape, and for Aman's cousin's wedding)

"Mere maa baap toh mujhe ek ladki se shaadi karwane ke liye mera peeche pad rahe the. Papa ne hume train main kiss karna dekha, shaadi mein Kartik ko mujse door rahne kaha aur maine mandap mein sabke saamne use kiss kiya." Aman said, invoking another round of laughter. (My mom and dad were pestering me to find a girl and marry. Then papa saw the two of us kissing in the train, he tried to keep Kartik away from me during the wedding and I retaliated by kissing Kartik in front of everyone)

"Phir kya?" everyone chorused. "Aur zid ki maa baap ne Kusum se shaadi karne, par woh tho kisi aur se pyaar karti thi. Kartik ne ghar waapas aaya humare pyaar ke baare mein preach karne ke liye aur papa ne use maara. Shaadi ka din Kusum baagh gayi aur Kartik ne iski faaida uthakar ladki ka getup mein bhait gaya. Papa was suspicious and Kartik ko pakad liya. Police aane par, for the first time, humare liye defend kiya. Raath bhar sab pareshaan te Supreme Court ke faisle ke baare mein. Imagine that, our wedding was the day before Section 377 was abolished. Family hume accept kiya, happy ending" Aman said.
(Then what?) (Mom and dad pestered me to marry Kusum, but she was in love with someone else. Kartik had come back to preach about our love and papa hit him. On the day of the wedding, Kusum ran away and Kartik took advantage of it and dressed up as a girl and sat at the altar. Dad was suspicious and caught Kartik red handed. When the police came, for the first time, my family stood up for us. Everyone were tense the whole night regarding the decision the decision the Supreme Court might take. Imagine that, our wedding was the day before Section 377 was abolished. The family had accpeted us so, happy ending)

"Nice... arey yaar! Dher ho rahi hai! Maa ne hume jaldi aane ke liye kahi thi. Phir kabhi milne hai." Nakul said. Everyone then exchanged numbers and bid farewell. The day did not go as planned but... they made new friends so... who cares! (Nice... Oh god! It is becoming late! Mom asked us to come home early! We will meet some other time.)

A/N: I hope you liked it! Any comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! This fic is betaed by girl. with. passion! Any prompts are welcome. What else would you like to see next?

Thank you all for reading!

Rasi10 signing off

Published on 8 March 2020