4Story: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Dio The Barista
Author: Nocturne & Aoi
Written: March 2, 2020
Genre: Humor/Romance
Rating: T
Disclaimer: We do not own Jojo, but we do own these references.
Chapter 1
Stone Mask Coffee was a bit of a paradise. The little shop was a rare splash of life-giving sunlight seeping through the jungle canopy, an oasis in this desert of a downtown that was filled almost solely with towering office blocks and chain restaurants and department stores. Huge sparkling windows lined the exterior, and on the interior, they let in a cool natural light that can only be described as refreshing. Adding to this cool aesthetic were plants hanging from the rafters in decorative Aztec inspired stone pots and scattered all around the little shop. The owner, Kars, didn't seem to care much for humans but he considered it part of his "duty to the environment" to pay his workers over minimum wage. Make sure they're able to afford organic. Or something. Dio did not know or care what the intent was, only that he was getting paid more than he normally would as a barista. The pay was good and the atmosphere relaxing. Despite Dio's general distaste for the idea of doing service sector work, overall this was a pretty sweet gig. Except for one little thing: the people.
On a usual day, Stone Mask was filled with all manner of vermin. The dull-eyed business people shuffling in and out throughout the day to recharge weren't so bad, but there were also plenty of unwashed (or carefully groomed in order to appear unwashed), pretentious hipsters. Even these weren't so bad when compared to the strange environmentalists that Kars attracted. All of them ordering ridiculous vegan options from the menu that nobody else even touched and wearing clothes made entirely from natural, organic materials... Save for a few close and disturbingly muscular friends of the owner who seemed to deem even clothes too detrimental to environmental health. And yet, somehow, even these people were not the absolute worst customers Stone Mask Coffee had to offer. No. The most disgusting customer of all was standing right in front of Dio.
The large young man had been here a few times before, but even when Dio first laid eyes on him he found him somehow despicable. Jonathan Joestar. As usual, he was dressed in the highest quality name-brand clothes, yet he wasn't the least bit flashy about it, nor did he seem to want to showcase his wealth. Where others might see this as humble or modest, Dio knew the truth. No, Jonathan wore his fine clothes over his rippling muscles like a second skin, like it was perfectly natural to have enough money to afford a whole wardrobe of them, like everybody in the world had that sort of privilege. It made Dio sick. It made Dio want to violently rip those nice clothes off him and... and...
A polite cough notified Dio that he was staring before he could figure out just what it was, he wanted to do to Jonathan. He dragged his eyes up to Jonathan's befuddled and slightly rosy face and looked him directly in his sparkling blue eyes. They were sapphires. They shone at Dio with such earnestness, such honesty, Dio felt the strong desire to shield his eyes, but instead he narrowed them coolly.
"How may I, Dio, help you?"
"Um, yeah..." Johnathan said, a little nervous after Dio's delayed question. "I'll have a large French vanilla latte with uh. Extra cream. Oh, and uh. A slice of that lemon cake."
Dio arched one of his eyebrows at the sweet order. Jonathan smiled sheepishly. Sickeningly sweet.
"Right. That'll be $8.69." He sneered as Jonathan pulled the cash out of his wallet. Their fingers brushed lightly against each other during the exchange and the cruel smile quickly fell from Dio's face. He held back a shudder as his stomach coiled with... Something. Hatred, he assured himself.
Dio spent longer than usual at the quick task of counting change in order to give himself time to rein in his absolute loathing. Only when he was finished did he meet Jonathan's eyes.
"I'll have your latte ready in a moment." He said and he placed the change firmly into Jonathan's hand. This time he did not feel anything but satisfaction at his own remarkable restraint.
He turned away from the counter and began his work fixing Jonathan's coffee. As the machine whirled the copious amounts of milk and vanilla together, Dio was suddenly struck with a marvelous idea. It buzzed through him, electrifying, and all his hair stood on end with excitement.
He should spit in Jonathan's coffee.
No. He would spit in Jonathan's coffee. The brat clearly deserved it. Everything about him, from his naive, bright eyes, to his refined clothing, spoke of his spoiled lifestyle. Everything about him truly sickened Dio. His gentle voice, his raven hair, his gorgeous body. All of it filled Dio with disgust. And the only way for Dio to release his tension, his anger, was to spit in Jonathan's latte.
With any luck, the sheepish boy would never report him. Perhaps with his dull wit (as Dio assumed he had as he did with most people who weren't himself) he would just assume the coffee was bad and never return again to torture Dio with his presence. In any case, what he was doing would certainly put his job on the line so Dio glanced around to be sure nobody was watching. Jonathan had busied himself in studying the display case full of cakes and other sweets. The way he stood practically drooling over the little morsels gave Dio even more motivation in his actions. His eyes scanned the cafe once more, until they fell on his goody-two-shoes co-worker, Erina. She was diligently wiping a table and Dio was certain she would not pause her work to spare him a glance any time soon. If anything, he felt she avoided him at all costs, so he was in the clear to do what he had to.
He turned back to the machine just as it finished its whirling and he acted as if he had continued preparing the order as usual. The thought of Jonathan's despair had caused him to salivate, and it was clear to Dio that he was meant to do this. He lifted the cup closer to his face and the hot steam assaulted his cheeks, causing them to grow slightly red. Of course, there was no other reason, Dio was the picture of calculated calmness and would never blush for any reason. Especially not in this situation. His heart was in his throat and for a second he almost feared it would fall into the cup along with his spit. As silently as possible he gathered his saliva in the front of his mouth and let it drop with a small plop into the drink. A small string of it whipped back and dotted his lip as he did so, and he quickly wiped it away with the back of his hand. One last glance around assured him that nobody had seen, and gleefully he stirred the mixture and slapped a cap on it.
Dio was elated. Nothing had ever made him feel so powerful. In fact, in the midst of his ecstasy Dio had nearly forgotten that Jonathan had also ordered cake. Scooping it up, he practically danced to the counter where Jonathan was waiting.
Try as he might, Dio was unable to wipe the grin off his face, and so it was with his biggest smile of pure happiness that he said, "Here is your order!"
Bewildered, Jonathan stared at Dio's beaming face before glancing around to see if it was truly directed at him. Unable to pinpoint anyone else Dio could possibly be talking to, his eyes nervously flit to Dio's nametag before meeting his delighted face once again.
"Thank you, Dio!" He smiled as if Dio's own smile were contagious, as if he were truly happy that the self-proclaimed bara-rista was happy.
Dio's heart skipped a beat and he felt slightly sick. He felt his expression drop to his usual fake serving smile.
"Have a nice day, Jonathan." Dio watched in amusement as Jonathan's warm smile switched to surprise that he knew his name. In reality, Dio had simply gotten it from the credit card Jonathan had used sometimes, but to the bemused Jonathan he must seem clairvoyant. To Dio's irritation Jonathan did not even question his knowledge and instead his expression changed to an even sunnier smile and he picked up his coffee and nodded as he turned away.
Dio's eyes lingered on Jonathan's back as he left, and he felt a small smile twitch on his lips. He had left off the usual "please come again" from his script. With any luck, Dio would never have to see that beautiful smile of Jonathan's again. He thought of Jonathan sipping away at his saliva and he had to try his hardest to hold back the laughter in his throat.
Yes, he thought to himself, that is the last I shall see of Jonathan Joestar.
Please review and keep watch for new chapters as this fic is updated constantly!
