7Chapter 4: The unexpected prologues
(Hikigaya Hachiman POV)
I texted Komachi that I'll have dinner at Saizeriya today so she doesn't have to wait for me.
Today I'm accompanied by my twin cousins so I parked my bike at the nearby café and three of us ended up chatting before going to Saizeriya.
Yeah, you heard right. I'm actually chatting. Hikigaya Hachiman, who always keep the conversation brief, is chatting.
I know that you would thought that it's impossible for me of all people to even do that with others who isn't Komachi, right?
Let's say I have never mind if it's with these two, especially the topic we were talking about.
The topic itself is pretty obvious when people who are proud of their little sisters are being put together.
And even if we're not paying attention to our surroundings, three of us already conscious about how they're looking at us like some zero sister-bragging resistance trio but why do we have to be mindful about that.
But after a long conversation about our bragging I came to understand more about the reason why both of them loathe Yukinoshita so much that they verbally attacks her like that back then.
It's natural for big brother beings to act like these two if they meet someone who reminded them of the people that make their dear sister hurt.
I swear I won't be surprised if I happened to transform into a Legendary Super Saiyan by just imagine Komachi being put in their little sister's shoes alone.
"Oya? Hikigaya-kun?"
A voice I wish to not hear at a time like this called out to me.
"But you're still luckier than us." said Hachiju, ignored the calling voice.
As expected of you, knowing that I want to avoid her so you strengthen the conversation even more (although I think this is one of the few reasons for you to open your mouth in the first place).
"Your little sister still conscious of your presence, right? I'm so envious. Our little sister just couldn't bother with us at all, especially after she found the boy she loves she already forgot that we do existed." said Hassen with sad tone.
"It's a good thing that she found a boy whose existence alone can liberate her from loneliness but the fact that none of us is that boy really saddened us." said Hachiju with sad tone.
"You two can have my condolences." I said.
Well, why shouldn't I? Even in the past, no matter how much effort they putting in, they're destined to not getting along with anyone who is a 'younger girl' to them. If I'm not consoling them, who will?
Then all of sudden, the face of the owner of the voice from earlier popped up in front of three of us, almost getting me kissed.
"That's really rude for you to ignore your beautiful Onee-san and have fun chatting with each other." said the owner of the voice; Yukinoshita Haruno.
Then two arms suddenly form an 'X', blocking me and Haruno, increasing our distance.
Not only the little sister but you guys are going to start something with the older sister as well?
"I really don't want to hear that from you who suddenly interrupted our chat." said Hachiju.
"And I believe that you're not the person he want to have his first kiss stolen by you." said Hassen.
"Oi!" I said, embarrassed.
Are you trying to save me or what?
Haruno is dumbfounded for a moment before letting her laughter shamelessly exploded.
"My my… Today is really the best in the entire week… I honestly never seen all of these coming. Hikigaya-kun got himself some friends and they're all interesting." said Haruno while still not fully recovered from her recent laughter explosion.
The moment Haruno resume her laughter and instinctively close her eyes, Hachiju and Hassen giving me the expression that said "now our chance to naturally escape".
I nodded and tried to escape. However, Hachiju, is being held hostage by Haruno who regained her strength in time so we stopped.
There's go our natural escape route, we're undoubtedly attracted one or two attentions at this point.
"Calm down, calm down you three. All I want is to join your conversation so please don't give me such a treatment." said Haruno.
"Once again, I doubt that you have the right to say such things." retorted Hachiju.
Is it alright for a hostage to retort at the one who captured him, especially against Haruno of all people?
However, Haruno just freed Hachiju just like that.
"Oh, don't be so boring. Consider your recent conversation I think I can fit in really well. Very well to be exact since I have a lot to share about my cute little sister after all." said Haruno, giggled.
"We already met her in person so you can just leave us alone." retorted Hassen.
"Oh, is that so? Wait. you have met Yukino-chan? Did you guys just go to confes to her or something?" asked Haruno.
At this moment, Hikigaya Hachiman, Sanshokuin Hachiju and Sanshokuin Hassen, deadpanned at Yukinoshita Haruno in unison.
"She's really her little sister's older sister" is what we commonly thought.
"Even if this world going to end we will never do that." said Hachiju.
"We're just became her clubmates without our consent being considered, just like Hachiman." said Hassen.
I am but you two aren't.
"It's Shizuka-chan's doing again, eh? Adding more interes— Hmm?" said Haruno but paused for a moment.
Haruno started examining those two.
"Wait a moment. You guys look familiar to me. Your name?" said Haruno.
"Sanshokuin Hachiju."
"Sanshokuin Hassen."
"Hmm… that still doesn't ring any be—oh I remembered your dull-looking face, one of you is together with Yukino-chan during cultural festival." said Haruno.
"Eh? Seriously?" I said.
One of them is there? I have never noticed it at all.
"Seriously, why can't her sister just be as oblivious as her? Thanks to that I hate you even more." said Hachiju.
So it was you!
"Eh? Hachiju? What the meaning of this?" I asked.
"During the culture festival, you're a male representative of class 2-F while I'm a male representative of class 2-J. That's all the puzzles you need, Hachiman." replied Hachiju.
My mouth agape.
To think that neither me nor Yukinoshita detect him after all this time, guess my Stealth Hikki is no longer unique anymore.
"And thanks to you and that waste of a committee chairwoman back then that I have to unnecessarily waste more time and stamina throughout the cultural festival. As if me being unlucky enough to be picked as a committee member along with that sister of yours isn't bad enough, that chairwoman and the arbitrary guidance you made at that time really takes the cake." complained Hachiju.
He's pulling no punches. Should I remind him that we're still in the café?
Well, it's not like Hachiju is a couch potato or anything but he really hates it if he was assigned to do something like taking care of workloads that aren't even his which is what everyone who stay working at that time are forced to do.
But knowing what kind of person Hachiju is, if he was going to do something for the sake of protesting back then the cultural festival itself would be more or less destroyed like how he and Hassen destroyed Sagami and her peers recently.
So basically, the cultural festival is turned out fine in the end is partly thanks to Hachiju holding back.
"So bold and cute. Maybe I should enlist you to Yuk—" said Haruno but being interrupted halfway.
"Oh. Hikigaya?" said the oddly familiar voice which interrupted Haruno's earlier.
I turned my gaze toward the direction of that voice just to regret in my decision.
Standing there, it's two girls holding their orders. One of them has brown eyes and short curly brown hair, wearing the school uniform that is not Sobu High School's which composes of a white dress shirt, a light blue sweater with two dark blue lines at the top, and a red tie under a navy blue blazer while another one… just another one of her friends from the same school I guess (The first one mattered more after all).
"It's really is you, Hikigaya. Did I just pull out an ultra rare card?"
No doubt about it. It's her. I thought all of my middle school classmates had been discarded into the deepest corner of my memory. And now only her name casually popped out.
"Ori…moto…" I uttered.
Screw you romcom god!
"As expected." quietly yet coldly muttered Hassen.
"Figured." quietly yet coldly muttered Hachiju.
"Could it be that she's your friend too, Hikigaya-kun?" asked Haruno.
Is it just me or that just another version of 'you have friends?' lines?
"She's my classmate during my middle school." I replied.
"I'm Orimoto Kaori." self-introduced Orimoto.
"I'm Yukinoshita Haruno, Hikigaya-kun's… um how about his pending girlfriend?" replied Haruno-san.
"I think an alumnus from my school more suitable." I said.
"You're no fun~" said Haruno-san.
Even if I looked like a comedian to you please keep in mind that I'm not one of them.
"So you're his classmate during his middle school. Is there something interesting happened with him back then?" asked Haruno.
This person's brake is already broken. Someone please stop her!
"Ah. Actually, he asked me out once." replied Orimoto.
"For real?" said Orimoto's friend.
Is there any hole nearby? I want to hide in there right now!
"Oh that's interesting alright." said Haruno-san.
"He had never even talked to me before, so it was a total shock." continued Orimoto.
Actually I did talk to you. I emailed you too. To the address you gave me out of sympathy or pity. Even made up the dumbest reasons to email you then waiting to see if you'd respond like a real dumbass and I'm sure that you don't even have any slightest idea about these at all.
"So Hikigaya-kun did ask a girl out." said Haruno-san.
"You're not wrong. But keep in mind that it's a mere past." I replied.
"Yeah. It just a past so it doesn't matter, right?" said Orimoto.
"It does matter." said a certain non-human voice.
Following the voice, Kazumi and Futami ambushed Orimoto and her friend, snatching their belongings and flew away out of the café through the opened door where Hachiju and Hassen stood.
So this is why they're rather quiet during the whole talk since they're not there to begin with.
And they're just again prove to be better at utilizing Stealth Hikki than me.
"Hey, that's mine, come back." said Orimoto and her friend as they chased after the two parrots and eventually left the café.
Then there's a message sent into my phone.
"Sorry for the late rescue, Hachiman."
I don't need to hear anything from them to figure out what happened.
They have Kazumi and Futami did that so Orimoto and her friend will leave me alone, and they're probably the one who open the door pretending to be a mere coincidence to ensure Kazumi and Futami's successful escaping.
"Correct."
And you guys still refuse to admit that you're ESPers despite this mind-reading capacity?
"Indeed."
Alright, alright. I know so give it a rest already you two.
Also I have to salute you guys about how skillful you are at hiding your parrots from people's sights.
"My my. I think I'm gonna get jealous of Yukino-chan even more now. Getting to enjoy herself with three interesting guys in her high school while I couldn't." said Haruno-san, giggling.
"I highly doubt that her being driven to tears is worth jealous of." said Hassen.
NOOOOOO…! Did you realize that you just open the pandora box right there?!
Haruno-san's giggling instantly died and went stoic.
"Did you say you drive Yukino-chan to tear? I afraid I couldn't turn deaf on this so how about you give me more details." said Haruno-san with monotonous voice.
"Then listen well. First, both of us Sanshokuin siblings, hate your sister personally. Secondly, after your sister's club advisor put us in the club, she getting on our nerves verbally and trying to make us look like inferior beings that need to be grateful to her for her help so we both just do something that not many people would do; called her out on every of her bullshits mercilessly. Finally, if it weren't for Hachiman stopped us midway your sister might ended up communicate with us through violence. That's all." replied Hachiju.
I immediately hid myself at Hassen's back.
You guys better keep your promise about not letting anyone touch me because I need that protection RIGHT NOW!
Haruno-san pondered for a moment before reverting back to her usual self.
"Is that so? Even though I'm normally couldn't forgive anyone who make my Yukino-chan cry but since she's at fault this time, not to mention that hearing Hikigaya-kun's heroic deed over Yukino-chan really satisfied me so I'm gladly let it slide this time." said Haruno-san with small smile.
Is it just me or the whole reason for your forgiveness is all about me saving your sister?
"By the way, Hikigaya-kun. To think that you have such interesting friends, as expected of my future brother-in-law." said Haruno-san.
"Actually, we're not his friends." said Hachiju.
"Our relationship isn't that shallow." said Hassen.
Haruno-san's dubiousness instantly grew as her expression rivaled Komachi's deadpanning when she's about to point out my siscon trait.
"Hikigaya-kun. Did you just awaken your homose—"
"They're my twin cousins! Nothing more, nothing less!"
This place is still a public place for crying out loud so don't attract me anymore unnecessarily attentions!
Although I'm not care about people getting the wrong idea but if Totsuka is one of them then he'll definitely think I'm chea— wait, stop it! I'm a straight person! I'm a straight person!
Haruno-san's eyes wided open and broke into laughter once again.
What's so funny anyway?
"Twin cousins, eh? Why didn't I think about it sooner? Now that I looked at three of you, you guys really looked similar to each other." said Haruno-san.
You're just now realizing that?
"But are you sure it's good for you guys to make Yukino-chan cry? I mean even if I'm not backing her up she could still aiming for the student council president seat which Meguri will left it soon and make a mess of your high school life as a revenge, y'know?" said Haruno-san.
It's not like her warning is a groundless assumption. Yukinoshita is a type of person who holds grudge after all. If she let her own grudges reign over reasoning then Haruno-san's premonition won't be just a joke.
"Teachers and some students would be appreciated if your sister decided to take the position, but…" said Hachiju while emphasizing 'your sister' part.
"If she can bring herself to aim for the position as she currently is, that's it." said Hassen while emphasizing 'currently' part.
Ah, right. There's still a competition between club members left.
Regardless of Yukinoshita desired to take the student council president position or not, I highly doubt she would afford to be considered 'lose by default because she left the club for student council'.
During the cultural festival event, it's already proved that Yukinoshita isn't excellent enough to take care that much of multiple roles on her own so she has to choose one; either defeat my cousins through student council or through club competition rules.
If she choose student council then she will have to admit that she has resigned from competing against my cousins. Even if my cousins never brought that fact up, Yukinoshita herself would be too prideful and troubled by it deep down anyway, not to mention that I highly doubt student council could do anything to them when many teachers including Hiratsuka-sensei couldn't even handle them (especially when they managed to manipulate Hiratsuka-sensei without her seeing it coming).
"Aww… your wordings really boosted my curiosity, y'know? Anyway, I have so much fun today so you can have my thanks Hikigaya-kun and err… calling you two Sanshokuin-kun twice really sound weird. But immediately calling you guys by first names would be inappropriate… how about I called the younger one as Sanshokuin-chan?" said Haruno-san.
"Just called me Miki and my brother as Sanshin." said Hachiju.
"It's our nickname from the derivation of our full names so there shouldn't be a problem, right?" said Hassen.
Haruno-san bursting into laughter again.
Seriously, what's so funny?
"Whoa, you guys are well-prepared even with something so trivial as this. Very well, both are easier to pronounce anyway so I'll play along. With that being said, see you Hikigaya-kun, Miki-kun and Sanshin-kun." said Haruno-san as she waved her hand at us and happily left.
Hachiju and Hassen have an expression that say 'don't ever show up again' plastered on their faces before left the café together with me and having dinner at Saizeriya.
By that time, Kazumi and Futami, who already carried out their mission, already waiting for us on my bike.
(Saizeriya)
I have to salute these parrots as well.
"That's surprising alright." I said.
"What?" asked both Hachiju and Hassen.
"I thought you two would make your conversation with her as brief as possible but you let her have her way." I said.
"How sharp." replied both of them.
Indeed. They could've tried to use Kazumi and Futami to take care of Haruno-san as well but they don't.
"At least she's worth our time than those two who have left before her." said Hachiju.
Ah right, these two have to get rid of Orimoto and her friend's existences before they couldn't hold back their desire to rip off the girls' heads any longer since I could already tell that they were so ready to do so the moment their voices turned cold.
Regardless of Orimoto doing nice things to me on purpose or not, regardless of her being conscious of her actions or not, the fact that she giving me false hopes and ended up hurting me is already enough to make them hate her.
And Orimoto herself showed no sign of realizing her own mistakes which will make my cousins loathe her further, to the point that they can't tolerate her existence.
But Haruno-san, on the other hand, is more preferable than Orimoto. Despite owning a certain amount of facade, she did understand people's feelings and regard them to some degree.
Or so I thought it was their reason this time.
"Although we hate her, we don't really mind spending some of our time with someone who care deeply for her little sister and want the best for her, even if she ended up being hated by her little sister. But that still doesn't change the fact that we hate her." said Hassen.
"And it's really vexing that we just brought her to cloud nine today for free. That damn jester." said Hachiju.
So the main reason is because Haruno-san is a siscon which you guys also count as the hopeless ones as well.
"This may sound way too nonsensical but according to my older sibling instinct, she really has it tough as an older sister of that club president. Even though she has been doing her best for her sister, the latter is unable to understand any of that one bit. How sad." said Hachiju.
"Older sibling instinct, huh? I don't think I can retort that. Considering that Yukinoshita usually let her competitiveness and inferiority complex get in her way then it's not strange if Haruno-san's efforts being disregarded because of that." I said.
Who would've thought that the Tyrant Queen Yukinoshita Haruno is really this great of an Onee-san?
"Tyrant Queen, huh? You're really love to boost people's egos by giving them such intimidating nickname." said Hassen.
"Well, it can't be help. To me, she's that scary." I replied.
I highly doubt that there's anything you'd be afraid of at this point considering you can tank Yukinoshita siblings as well as Hiratsuka-sensei.
"Things we feared do exist, but people in your thought aren't in the list. For example, to us, Yukinoshita Haruno isn't some Tyrant Queen or anything." said Hassen.
"Then what she is to you guys?" I asked.
Seriously, if she's not a tyrant then what is she?
"A siscon jester." replied Hachiju.
Oh my god.
"A siscon, as well as an annoying big sister character who will put on any act for her own amusement. Rather fit her well, don't you think?" said Hassen.
"No comment." I replied.
If Yukinoshita Haruno can't make you fear her, then who the heck that capable of makes you fear them?
"It's really unfortunate for you to attract such a jester. Look like it's a mistake of you to go shopping with that president that day." said Hachiju.
"Well, I think I can agree with y— wait, how did you even know that anyway?" I asked.
Just how long did you guys stalking me? That's scary! Freaking scary!
"Calm the hell down, Hachiman. Just take it that it was our way to look out for you." said Hassen.
I'm not sure if you guys actually 'look out for me' or just 'look for me' though.
"It's not that much strange for you to not realize that we applied to the same high school as you. We just happened to successfully transferred to your high school during the golden week after all." said Hachiju.
"Is that so? But that still not answer my question though." I said.
"I swear that it's truly a pure coincidence that we both spotted you and that president as well as her sister when we were in the middle of shopping after all." said Hachiju.
"I guess it's because you're too distracted by that siscon jester that you didn't spot us even though we're nearby. You can say that things started from that point." said Hassen.
I was dumbfounded. It's really convincing since at that time I really was distracted by Haruno-san's pair of feminine weapons that pressed against me after all.
"We couldn't comprehend what we saw at all. Knowing how you are after being rejected by that bastard Orimoto, the scenery before us is truly unexpected. There has to be something wrong with it." said Hassen.
Why do I feel like I'm being insulted here?
"You'd probably being forced to or that girl hold Komachi hostage or you were blackmailed or something. That's what we came up. But none of your expressions match any stated case so we dismissed all those assumptions just to boost even more curiosity. But when that airhead girl showed up we're starting to be able to connect some dots. It's like both you and that president go shopping there that day to get something for her." said Hachiju.
Even though they didn't know the details about Yuigahama's birthday but to be able to guess this much really scary.
"However, that's still not resolved all of our doubts so we decided to transfer to your school and keep our eyes on you so we can figure out what's really going on with you and your surroundings." said Hassen.
"Did you guys go so far as to transfer just to learn about my circumstances? Are you guys idiots?" I said.
Really. You guys could've texted me or emailed me or something.
Ah, come to think of it. After being deceived by fake contact addresses from middle school I would've regard their contacts as some sort of spams or pranks immediately.
"Just you know that we never have any intention to apply to Sobu High regardless of you being there or not. Knowing you, you wouldn't try to unnecessarily involve yourself with any people who would messing with your life for sure and that will definitely lift off our worry. But you've done it eventually that day so we have no choice but to do that." said Hachiju.
You guys really are idiots. Wait—
"But what about auntie and uncle? They're actually approved of your decision to transfer?" I asked.
Such a ridiculous reason shouldn't be acceptable.
"To be honest, our parents are originally wanted us to apply Sobu High from the start but we refuse it because it's involved some unnecessarily matters and not to mention that we already have one or two bias towards it. So when we decided to transfer to Sobu High they give us full support just like that." said Hachiju.
"What a convenient reason." I said.
"And as we have expected from this school. It's really the worst, especially the cultural festival event which is truly a prime example for that. Even though that event is ended, our hatred for this school still continues to worsening, especially when they make you commit social suicide in order to fix or archiving something. As a result, we ended up hating almost everyone in this campus for it." said Hachiju with voice mixed with anger.
What kind of reaction I supposed to do when you saying all those stuff with stoic face?
"And yet they still attempt to make you sacrifice yourself in order to keep such good-for-nothing friendship from falling apart from their own irresponsibility. Enough is enough." said Hassen.
"So that's why you took the liberty to take revenge for me even though I've never asked you for it." I said.
You might be confused about 'revenge' part, right?
As Haruno-san's said before, three of us are look quite similar to each other so it would be natural that we can impersonate as each other with just a little change in our style (thanks to our dull-looking trait with uncommon eyes that allow us to be able to even fool our acquaintances quite easy).
Paper shuffle is an operation where we would impersonate as another one for some urgent which we usually done in the past and now we're doing it again during the recent Kyoto trip.
Back then Hachiju and I were searching for Miura since Hachiju felt a need to drug her so that she wouldn't interfere the situation in the bamboo forest.
I used my very presence to distract Miura so that Hachiju could drug her through his special needle.
Which means I'm not present at the bamboo forest when Tobe is about to confess to Ebina-san in the first place.
That's right. Hikigaya Hachiman that showed up in the bamboo forest isn't me.
It's Sanshokuin Hassen.
Since I'm not there to know what exactly has happened but I don't think Hassen will go there to give them a happy ending result.
What happened the next day is pretty clear to me, Hassen shattered their relationship to pieces which result in Hayama, Miura and Ebina to hate me.
I bet it's because Hassen using cruel truth to roast them back then while Hayama and Miura were drugged and unable to save Ebina-san.
But it's look like despite my cousins' hatred toward them, they did show mercy by letting Hassen do it.
Hachiju may be frailed in comparison to Hassen but that only the athletic matters, in term of communication Hachiju is way more unarguably and sharper tongue (which they've never been like this before but now they are for some reasons).
If Hachiju is the one showed up there instead then everyone in Hayama's group will definitely be reduced into subhuman beings like how Sagami and her peers get after confronting them both.
Even if Hayama want to start some kind of stupid rumors to get back at me, he just couldn't, especially when his friends in the group have their eyes opened.
But even if he managed to do it he would just worsen his situation because that's the same as asking my cousins to deliver him a final judgment.
However, I'm not regret my decision for letting Hassen destroy Hayama's group. In fact, I would be more regret if I ended up saving them with myself as a cost instead. I just felt sympathy for Tobe and Yuigahama, that's all.
"Let's stop right here. It's not healthy to head home late because of it." said Hachiju.
"The 'healthy' line really not convincing when it coming from you." I said.
Secretly stalking me and shoving your protection down my throat really anything but healthy.
Well, as if I'm the one to talk since Komachi would probably say the same thing to me if she was caught hanging out with some bugs.
"Come to think of it, ou— no your birthday already passed twice, isn't it? I know it's already so late about it but I'll sending you a birthday present worth of the loss of two years through email so you can wait for it." said Hassen.
Ah right. Come to think of it, they haven't give me any present even once after I graduate from middle school due to both of them engaged in some sort of urgent.
Well, I did forget to give them their birthday present as well.
"Hassen. Are you sure you're going to send what you're thinking to Hachiman? We might get killed in our sleep someday if you do, though." warned Hachiju.
"Just what the heck did you plan to give me as a birthday present?!" I said.
"Relax. The present won't bite you or anything, but it might do that on two of us." replied Hachiju with a look of slight terror in his expression.
"Can I passed on that if it's troubling you guys?" I asked.
"Just take it Hachiman. Considering that you're troubled by our actions so it's fine if we're troubled for your sake." said Hassen.
"Just do as you please. Also, maybe I will give you guys something as a birthday present in return since your birthday also has passed too, right?" I said.
"We will looking forward to it then." said Hachiju.
With that, three of us left Saizeriya and heading back to our respective homes.
I'm freaking tired. It's been a long time since I keep the conversation THIS long.
But we can't help ourselves, it's been a very long time since the last time three of us spending our time together without any third party involving.
(Hikigaya Household)
Komachi is waiting for me there to hear how things going on between me and Service Club. However, instead of being full of excitements like how she's always supposed to be, all I could sense from her is pure worries, and all I can do is proving that her worries is right on the money.
Komachi is undoubtedly an airhead but she's not an idiot. Especially at this moment she won't act all bubbly and accept any sort of white lies.
After I told her that my Yukinoshita challenge my cousins herself and Yuigahama also on her side, Komachi fired up all of sudden.
"In that case, whatever Yui-san and Yukino-san trying to do, Komachi will even put her life on the line in order to give them full supports in defeating her two natural enemies. My Onii-chan's harem plan still not dead yet. This definitely worth many Komachi points!" she said.
When does that plan even a thing, Komachi Belia Deviluke-san?
A/N: Chapter 4 for you readers, please enjoy it.
